hajimailhinata

[hajimailhinata]

Another busy Monday lies ahead of us, but with a twist- By the time we finish this week, it’ll be August! With that in mind, it really does feel like the summer is passing us by. After that, what’s next? September, October? Well, whatever the case, we do have some time before then. So don’t worry just yet. I realize, though, that some of you might feel anxious about the upcoming fall.

It’s understandable. I would argue that the world isn’t ready to try and reinstate things like the school system yet, but unfortunately, there’s already plans to do so in a few parts of the world. And for students, that’s especially stressful. You’d think there’d be a greater sense of responsibility. But if you’re put in a position where you have no choice but to be at risk, remember that you’re not in it alone- Most other people in the same spot as you feel the same way, and even if you’re all forced to be together, your teachers, peers, and administrators have the sense to put in the most precautions they can to limit exposure to one another. Just because the government’s forcing you to go in together doesn’t mean there won’t be efforts to minimize the recklessness of the scenario.

Stay in touch with the locals in charge, be they managers, board members, or other important people. Be open to communicating your concerns and spreading links that pertain to protecting yourself and others in the neighborhood. There is still hope to combat the poor decisions made up top, and half of that comes with your personal choices and precautions. Don’t underestimate yourself.

[hajimailhinata]

Hey! I’ve had a busy weekend so far, but I’m stopping in to say hi to all of you guys. I’m sorry if the theme of last week was intrusively interpersonal. I guess I tend to fixate on that kind of thing because... friendship is really important to me! Including my relationship with you guys. But you have to remember the dangers that come with indirect attachment, as well.

I know what you might think- I just said I’ve been a little too interpersonal. But for me, I view social media and the way we interact with it a little differently. Because my friendship with you isn’t the same as your friendship with people you talk to personally, right? We’re only connected through the content I create. And while I sincerely do care about you guys as a general readership, it’s hard for me to know each and every one of you, just like how you don’t know exactly what’s going on with me either. If that sounds familiar, it’s because any given audience is never going to have the full story of the person put in front of them. So it’s easy to hide things. Easy to be disappointed if you come to know a truth that doesn’t fit with what you once knew. The online environment lately is pretty indicative of that.

That’s why it’s important to remember that while you can appreciate what someone creates, you can’t assume you know them as closely as you would a more personal friend. You can’t let someone just out of touch be the reason you’re in pain, more importantly. If an individual doesn’t know you as a mutual individual, please don’t create expectations. Because even ones as easy as basic human decency... often go unmet.

If a personality brings you comfort, then that’s fine. But don’t get lost in it, okay? Recognize... that even popular people are humans like you. Just as capable of wrongdoings and volatility. So be careful.

[hajimailhinata]

Hey everyone! For me, it's a sunny Saturday, and with how bright it is, it's hard to recall a day where things were ever bad. But then I start sweating and remember that summer is uncomfortable. Kind of messed up, huh? But there's a lot of dissonances like that.

What do I mean? Well. It's the idea that something is inherently a good thing, whether by social convention or even your own reception of it. And how in actuality, objectively, it might not be so great. You run into it a lot with various methods of coping. You know? How... something might make you feel really awesome, but it's actually feeding into a bad habit rather than helping you get better. Although it can be hard to grasp, your personal perception isn't always in your best interest, especially if you struggle with self love. There's all kinds of roundabout ways of punishing yourself, or at least putting yourself through something you really shouldn't. Or even, methods of thinking or media consumption that you believe is beneficial, but that continues to trap you in that same loop instead of breaking you from it.

It's not easy to recognize when something is bad for you, because you don't want to give up something that validates your worldview. But you can't saturate yourself in harmful ways of thinking about yourself or others. You can't live a life fed by despair. Because whether you like it or not, you're only perpetuating your cycle. Self care isn't as easy as whatever feels good.

I can't stop you from it. But at minimum, be self aware about it. If you can at least recognize it, that's the first step towards amending things. So don't be afraid to be critical of your methodologies. You know?

[hajimailhinata]

Hey everyone. Yesterday, we talked about the reality of accountability. Today, I'd like to focus more on... I guess where you draw the line on support. After all, I always say the most you can do for your friends is back them up; But is that always the case?

I'm sure you already know that you're not supposed to blindly follow people to a fault. But part of doing that is being able to realize that your friends are not infallible. That sometimes, they can wrong you, and that it's not always your fault. That sometimes, if they get upset over you bringing up something justified, you're not a bad person. I know it can hurt to make someone you care about sad, but sometimes, it's unavoidable. You can't live to cater to someone's happiness. In a balanced friendship, it's about being able to work things out and stick together because you're both capable of growing and improving in the relationship. If all your friendship is based on is absolute happiness, that's a problem. Because... no one can be happy forever. And the key to being a true friend is to know when to be real with someone over trying to tiptoe around one another.

Support isn't always a matter of cheering someone up. More often than not, it's about empathy and patience. Being able to stay with someone through the hard times. Being able to work out the rough patches. Not just covering it all up. So don't fall into the trap of appeasement, okay? You're worth more than your best moods.

[hajimailhinata]

Hey guys! I’m on my way to handle some business soon, but while I’m here, I thought I’d like to remind you all that responsibility is a slippery slope. It’s good to have expectations for yourself and to fulfill those expectations, but you can’t hold yourself accountable for every single thing all the time, much less the actions of others. You’re responsible for supporting your friends, but not for what they choose to do without your endorsement.

I get it. If you’re close to people who act impulsively, it’s easy to get sucked into that. It’s easy to feel guilty or take responsibility for their actions rather than cope with the idea that they’d behave that way regardless, because understanding the latter means accepting that you’re going to have to worry constantly about them, knowing they’re not going to be talked out of their behavior. You can try to explain that feeling, but more often than not, people tend to just hide what they’re doing rather than fully stop it. That’s why you can’t be taking on the full burden of their bad habits. You can’t feel like it’s your fault, because it wasn’t. The most you can do is be there to support someone through their troubles, but you can’t control them. All you can do is state your thoughts and hope that they reach them.

You're responsible for yourself and nobody else. You can blame yourself for not speaking up, but don't assume that's the automatic solution to everything. Your friends are just as conscious as you are. Don't get down on yourself for their mistakes, okay? Just be there for them in the aftermath. That's all.

[hajimailhinata]

I have to say, after the news I dropped earlier, I sort of expected some sort of backlash. Not the aggressive kind, but something I might have to clean up after. Which makes it all the more astounding that I’ve received nothing but kindness in return? I’m sorry for underestimating you guys. I was so prepared to be rejected that I lost sight of how supportive and loving you’ve always been to me. More than anything, it’s something I’m infinitely gracious for.

I guess that goes to show. That it’s okay to step back sometimes. That your friends will understand! Because if you’ve worked hard to be good for them, you just might be worthy of that same treatment in return. It’s hard for me to consider, since I’ve always struggled with my self worth, but the reception I’ve been given makes me think it might be true. And that’s why honesty is so important, huh? When you’re able to come forward and see people’s true feelings in return... it breaks down walls. It makes it more comfortable and open. Easier to continue that honesty, and improve that relationship! And at the end of the day, I think that’s more important than running tasks or being a good advisor. It’s the emotional bond that’s empowered most by speaking sincerely to one another. 

Thank you all for being so understanding of me, as you always have been. I hope that as the year moves onward, we can continue to be this transparent to one another. And that you can extend that transparency to your other friendships, too! Because even if it brings about a complicated truth, working it out might just bring you closer together. At least, that’s what... I want. For us.

I feel a little embarrassed. So- I’m going to sign off now! I’ll see you tomorrow! Or who knows? Maybe even sooner.

[hajimailhinata]

Status update

Hey, all. I’m writing this early because I didn’t want to disrupt the usual posting. It’s been over two years now since I started writing regularly, but with that in mind, two years is a pretty long time, and a lot can change in those years. That’s why I ought to come clean; That is to say, I’m undergoing a pretty big life change as we progress towards autumn, and things won’t really be the same for me as they have been.

I’ve been working with the Future Foundation for a while now, but they’ve recently extended an offer towards me to begin a much bigger opportunity. I can’t really explain in detail, but it’s going to be leaving me a lot busier than I’ve ever been. And in order to make that work as well as making sure I stay healthily rested and on top of my assignments, it’s going to be extremely hard to keep producing posts on a daily basis without sacrificing some very precious time.

You guys mean more to me than you could possibly know, and this certainly isn’t me saying goodbye. But after two years of near constant post streaks, I need to move some of my energy towards the next chapter in my life. At least for a little. So basically, you can expect my usual scheduling for the next week- But at that point, I won’t be posting every single day the way I have been. It’s been a very hard decision for me to make, but it’s something I really need to do for myself and the future I’m hoping to obtain.

I can’t clarify how different things will be until I get there, but by August for sure, I’ll probably have a better picture of how it’s gonna work. At that point, I fully intend to set up a new schedule. But in the meantime, I’m going to begin missing some days and go from daily posting to maybe a few times a week instead.

Thank you all so much for supporting me since 2018. I never thought I’d still be doing this right now, much less that you’d still be reading. But the fact that you are is a commitment I want to continue to honor. If you can be patient with me, I hope we can make the best of this new scenario. And that we can stay good friends.

I’ll see more of you guys in a few hours, so please resume your days with my very best wishes to back you!

[hajimailhinata]

Good morning and evening to everyone around the world. Today, I wanted to remind everyone of their personal importance! Because whether you’re a talented performer or even just a regular person like me, there’s more to you than you may realize. I understand I’ve sort of talked about that already this week, but I want to delve a little further, if that’s alright.

People make habits of a lot of things. Defining themselves by their labor, their past mistakes, or even just their current sadness. When you do that sort of stuff, you’re inevitably going to feel like you’re not a good enough person. But who are you to determine the scale of goodness? Ancient philosophers have debated that sort of thing for millennium, and even they can’t get it right. Whatever conclusion amateurs like us reach... it’s not going to be perfect. And more often than not, you’re biased towards selling yourself short. Because ultimately, what it is... is craving what you’re missing, right? Be it motivation, or self improvement, or a lifestyle change like more friends or a better home... And that has nothing to do with the person you are at heart.

This world is full of obstacles and systems that remind us of what we don’t have. But that doesn’t mean you’ll never have it, and it doesn’t mean you’re any lesser than someone who has it. Your goodness might not be easily quantified, but you can aim for it through your personal actions. You can be a good person regardless of personal or past circumstance.

You can be great, just as you are. Don’t lose sight of that.

[hajimailhinata]

Hey! So, here we are at the start of another week. But only two more and we’ll have passed straight through to August, huh? Summer’s lasted an awfully long time, but before you know it, things will start cooling down. I’d like to urge you not to draw such a big divide between seasons, though. At least, I’ve noticed people tend to make a habit of trying to confine things specifically to a “summer” and “not-summer” sort of schedule.

To an extent, I get it. For a lot of people, there’s a big difference between the way they live during the cool seasons versus the warm. Most of you seem to be students, so it’s only natural to see things differently. But given how much has been happening this summer, you have to remember that it’s not confined to the summer alone, much less the year. Just because you will a deadline to exist doesn’t make it so, and it’s a better idea to be prepared for things to remain as they are than to just assume they’ll fix themselves. Particularly when you’re living in a very sloppy system, pessimism can be more useful to you than placing your faith toward the people in power. 

In some instances, continuing discourse is a good thing, because it affirms the commitment to change. But for other more problematic events, like the pandemic, it can be particularly exasperating. So please, as we reach the late half of the year, be prepared to continue enduring the present norm. It’s always wonderful to have hope, but reserve it for your personal narrative rather than the decisions of authority. 

We can definitely get through this, however long it takes. But I need you to hang in there if it’s gonna work. Keep up your precautions, keep on swimming. With luck, we won’t have to wait till 2021. But until that’s for certain, be alert. Stay informed!

[hajimailhinata]

Hey all! I’ve been continuing to do some thinking about that vague decision I mentioned a few days ago, but it’s been tricky to fully determine on my own. Luckily, I have friends like you and the other island members who are always stepping up to give me some new possibilities to consider, as well as some valuable foresight! Like I said before, having those different opinions will never not be a precious learning tool.

But... while it’s good to find that balance of accounting for your friends’ tips as well as your own best interests, you also need to remember that there are some things that just aren’t opinion. Hopefully, you won’t have to deal with that sort of conflict coming from a loved one, but it’s always a possibility. You know what I mean? An opinion is generally based on a set of alternatives and determining what’s most preferable, but... I don’t believe everything is entitled to opinion. There are some very real topics, like human rights and protections, that should be universally agreed on. And if someone you care about seems to think you can just agree to disagree on, like. The way lives should be preserved and treated well? I think that’s a red flag. Maybe not for your relationship, but it’s something you don’t want to see continue to grow.

There’s plenty of things you can settle with. Lots of disagreements that can be accepted as just part of who someone is. But if it gets to a point of moral controversy, you’re not a bad person if you decide to distance yourself or try to wish change upon that individual. You’re not a bad person for standing up for what you know to be right. While love and tolerance are important to just about everybody, equally important is the strength to draw a line. And to judge who exactly is entitled to those kindnesses.

[hajimailhinata]

Hey guys. Here we are on a Saturday afternoon, or even evening! For now, if only a moment, the week is at its end, and that’s something worth celebrating. You faced the challenges set before you... and won! You might argue that a lot went bad this week, but whether or not that’s the case, you’re still here, aren’t you? It’s not over yet. There’s still a chance to make things right, because there’s still a future in front of you.

That can be hard to grasp. It seems like blind optimism at first glance. After all, how can anything be good when it seems irrepairable? I think the main misconception there is assuming everything has to be fixed. Because, although it might be hard to swallow, not everything can be. We can't time travel, and we aren't entitled to an easy solution. We aren't entitled to the status quo. Sometimes, once something has changed, it can't be reversed. But it's a mistake to think you can never be happy again because of it. It's true that in life, we endure tragedy. However, your future isn't defined by that despair. Dwelling in what once was won't bring it back.

The closest you can come to healing is coming to terms with change. To understanding that while you may regret your past, there's still time ahead of you to hopefully make the best of. Time to improve. That's the merit of looking forward.

Don't condemn yourself to a life of sadness when you don't even know what's yet to come. Nobody does. So it's okay to dream of something better. If you give yourself the space to grow, it just might come true.

[hajimailhinata]

Howdy! I have a meeting with Naegi today, so I’m sorry if this reads a bit rushed at all. But, I thought we could talk about productivity. I was talking a bit about it to Kuzuryu recently, but I think everyone on the island kind of feels the same; While we create our own tasks for the sake of not staying in the cottages all day, we generally don’t actually have much we have to do. And that can feel... kind of bad.

How is that related? Well. It’s less to do with accomplishment, and more to with the way we’re all sort of trained to think. That is to say, there’s a strong emphasis in most societies that a human being is made to work. That your value lies in what you’re able to produce, and the rate at which you engage in production. Now, don’t get me wrong; For people who like what they do, that’s fine! Working can be very satisfying, be it a job or a project, or whatever. But because of that mentality, you can start to feel like you’re failing somehow if you ever go a day without meeting that little quota in the back of your mind. That you’re lazy if you do anything else. But that’s not true. The thing is, there’s more to life than just working all the time. The evidence of that lies in the creative and social mind. Why is it a bad thing to spend your time doing something that makes you feel good?

I know it’s easy to devalue what isn’t inherently benefiting the system you live in, but you need to remind yourself that you’re not just a robot creating outputs. You’re a living, breathing person. You’re interactive and imaginative. And if something brings you happiness, that automatically makes it meaningful! What’s more precious than a good memory? An instance that makes you happy to be alive? Those are priceless things. Hard work is admirable, but it’s not everything there is to you. 

If you spend your time enjoying yourself, that time is anything but wasted. You’re not lazy for wanting to feel nice. You’re not any less important for existing outside of an assembly line. You are a person! And sometimes, what’s most productive to your existence is what enriches the soul, not your measure of labor.

[hajimailhinata]

Hey guys. We’re reaching the end of the week, but before we get there, I wanna talk about prioritization. That is, are you guys giving enough attention to yourselves in the midst of things? While I understand that it can be necessary sometimes to put your personal welfare aside for an important cause, don’t lose sight of the importance of your own existence in the world. Don’t believe me? I guess it’s easy not to. But... like it or not, you matter.

There are people you’ve impacted. Maybe some negatively, but that doesn’t invalidate the positives. People who are better off because they knew you. And if you don’t think that’s true? Maybe you haven’t met them yet, or you have no idea how special you actually are. As you live now, you’re making a difference just by breathing. Just by spreading love, be it to your beliefs, your friends, or your environment. The things you’re passionate about are empowered by your feelings, by the way you decide to live. The energy you put towards them! But... in order to do that, it’s important to take care of yourself to accumulate that energy. Maybe that means giving yourself a break from a responsibility, or spending some extra time or money on treating yourself to a gift. Those things are okay.

Even if you don’t think you care about much of anything, you matter to this world. With your identity and your narrative, you represent something so much bigger than you realize. Whether or not your voice is heard right now, you can’t give up on the dream that it never will be. Because... you can prove when things are bad, but you can never prove that the despair will never fade. Time doesn’t allow that stuff to stick to you. Like everything, it has to stop. And you deserve to be there when it does. To feel better.

Maybe my words won’t reach you, but someday, someone else could. So take care of yourself with that dream in mind. There’s no weakness in wishing. If anything? That’s what sets the basis for change to begin.

[hajimailhinata]

Hey guys. I’m here earlier than before! I hope you’re all having nice days, wherever you may be. Today, I wanted to remind you that it’s okay to be a little more comfortable in your own skin. Like- I get it if that’s difficult. Unfortunately, we don’t all get to pick the bodies we’re born into, and the way our personalities form. But just because you might feel strange or otherwise different doesn’t mean you have to stifle yourself all the time.

In cases where it’s imperative to your safety to act a certain way, I’d totally understand. But I like to think that everyone gets their chance to escape those scenarios as they grow up, and once you do, being yourself shouldn’t be something to fear. It definitely shouldn’t be something that prevents you from living your healthiest life. There are times that we prioritize staying hidden over staying physically well, and that’s not much better. I’d argue that’s the opposite end of the spectrum; Keeping way too comfortable versus not comfortable enough. It’s good to try to do things that help you feel good, but if those things are having a negative effect on your health, it’s important to be able to know when to give a little. It’s true that there’s a lot of danger out there, and not everyone is nearly as accepted as they should be into our modern world... but you absolutely can’t let yourself deteriorate trying to keep your oppressors comfortable. That is, with full disclaimer, if you don’t have to live with them.

Be who you are, and be that person in your daily life. In any way you can. Because no matter what basic needs you’re meeting, there’s something deeply debilitating about putting up a front constantly. Even if you can’t look or act how you’d like in the general public yet, find a place where you can let your guard down. Find friends who care for you no matter what. And until the day it’s safe to be completely uninhibited, never give up on the dream that you’ll be safe.

In the meantime, don’t forget that there’s not as many eyes on you as you might think. Be cautious if you must, but know that there’s room for flexibility. I hope it benefits you.

[hajimailhinata]

As you go through your life, it’s important to recognize that you aren’t a psychic. And you might think that’s obvious, right? But there’s plenty of ways that we take burdens onto ourselves on the basis of not having known something that we had no way of ever knowing. Or, even just not knowing is enough, I’d say. It might involve other people in your life, or maybe you made a mistake while you were working on something... There’s plenty of ways to accidentally mess something up, and more often than not, you spend the aftermath wondering what you could’ve done differently.

In the moment of those incidents, though, you’re not the person you are now. Retrospect is a funny thing. It only exists when everything’s said and done, but we still try and expect ourselves to foresee every little thing. And that’s just not possible. As much as you can try to take caution and be thoughtful, that only reduces the likelihood of an unexpected or unsatisfactory outcome. It doesn’t guarantee it. So by no means should you be blaming yourself for not knowing any better- You’re only human, and sometimes, enduring those accidents can even give you the experience you need to heighten your chances of avoiding a repeat down the road. Similarly, you can’t hold yourself accountable for not realizing something that you were never taught or told. You can’t tear yourself down on a basis you can’t even affirm, either. It’s a mutual responsibility for people to communicate their feelings and perspective to you and vice versa. If something is left unsaid, you can’t decide it’s true. The worst is only a reality when you find the evidence to support it, the greatest of which is testimony from the parties involved.

Not everything can be predicted or inferred. But that doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up about it. There’s some things in the world you can never expect, and some truths that can only be told from the source. And until you’re told it, you can only behave in a way defined by your reactions. Not by what you haven’t learned yet. Even if you mess up, it’s going to be okay. You’re not beyond doing better, and you’re not responsible for having every answer at any given moment.

You’re a person, just like me. And no person on earth can be blamed for everything. No matter how unlucky they may be.

[hajimailhinata]

There’s nothing I could achieve without the kind support of people like you! Even if you haven’t been around long, it’s really motivating to see that at least somebody out there is reading and cares what I have to say. Moreso to receive such nice praise... Geez. You really think a guy like me could be an Ultimate? I don’t think I’m anywhere near cut out for that sort of title, but. I’m sort of honored you would ever even consider it...

Don’t worry about your icon; I’ve seen more than my fair share of them! I just kind of chalk it up to fate. After all, here we are talking. Us looking similar... is perfectly alright! Like you said, in the midst of this despair, we have bigger fish to fry. And although I’m no fisherman, I can do a bit of cooking when I’m pushed to the task! If. That metaphor makes sense.

Thank you so much for reaching out to me! I kind of do a bad job of responding to asks, but I do read everything that’s said, and this sort of feedback is extremely precious to me. While despair might be rampant, your words... give me a hope unlike any other. I promise to keep trying my best, so please look forward to it! That is, as long as you’d like to. No pressure!

@hajimailhinata

Hi there, Hinata-kun, just wanted to thank you for everything you've been doing. Although I haven't been following you long, the positivity and advice you've been dishing out on your blog have been great assets in motivating me to actually do something about my life. Those are things we need more of these days...for people like me with personal problems, and for how to better the world when it seems like we're falling into worse despair than what happened with Monokuma. 😔 So thanks and keep up the good work. Have you thought of having SHSL Counselor as your talent?

As for the icon, uh, you're probably thinking, "that's creepy, someone using a picture of me." Yeah, it *could* be a screenshot I took of you from that one banquet scene in that game some people made adapting what happened to you and your classmates (out of all the students from your class I identified with you the most)...or it could be me, wearing a tie similar to yours - people have told me I look young for my age (am 20)

[hajimailhinata]

Hi, everybody. It’s the start of a busy week for some, a slow one for others. But whatever camp you’re in, you’re bound to come into conflict. A very common form is your own self doubt, especially when it comes to other people. Anxiety around how you’re perceived by the world! It’s not you being overly paranoid or anything- It’s normal to have that worry. Because you’re you, there’s no way for you to view yourself as an outsider. So of course you’re going to be concerned with what those outsiders might see.

Even if you can’t be a mind reader, though, that doesn’t mean you should always assume the worst of yourself. It’s easy to believe that if someone isn’t voicing a good opinion of you that there’s nothing good to say, but that’s not a stable conclusion. More often than not, people reserve their true feelings for when they feel the most secure sharing them. It takes time to get to that point, and lack of feedback isn’t the same as negativity. And, say you do get some bad comments. Your true self isn’t based entirely off of the things people tell you. More often than not, bad guys rely on that sort of dependence to try and trick you into trusting them more than you trust your own self image. While it’s a good idea to hear feedback about your behavior, if you’re constantly being torn down, that’s a sign that it’s coming from a malicious place. A good tip is... don’t trust extremes. That goes for yourself, too. A person will always be a mix of strengths and weaknesses, and your feedback and self critique should reflect that. No one is a demon beyond redemption, just as no one is a saint without flaws.

You should always listen to what your friends have to say, but don’t forget to find the balance between trust and reservation. Don’t assume all positivity is a lie, but don’t fully trust in total hostility. Don’t let your own self image cloud the way you believe in others! People will always speak with intention, and if you can establish a balanced view of yourself, you’ll be able to identify whether or not their perception is swaying too sweet or too sour.