halycondaze

[halycondaze]

indef. hiatus

hm, actually, you’re all exhausting and i want to take care of myself and my home first. tumblr isn’t a comfortable place for me anymore, and frankly, if you want to defend a racist and a c0p, feel free to catch these fists. i’m hardblocking on sight anyone defending kh/epri. otherwise:

you can req my discord, we can chill and RP there. i can harass you with pictures of my cat, it’ll be great. 

[halycondaze]

indef. hiatus

hm, actually, you’re all exhausting and i want to take care of myself and my home first. tumblr isn’t a comfortable place for me anymore, and frankly, if you want to defend a racist and a c0p, feel free to catch these fists. i’m hardblocking on sight anyone defending kh/epri. otherwise:

you can req my discord, we can chill and RP there. i can harass you with pictures of my cat, it’ll be great. 

[halycondaze]

indef. hiatus

hm, actually, you’re all exhausting and i want to take care of myself and my home first. tumblr isn’t a comfortable place for me anymore, and frankly, if you want to defend a racist and a c0p, feel free to catch these fists. i’m hardblocking on sight anyone defending kh/epri. otherwise:

you can req my discord, we can chill and RP there. i can harass you with pictures of my cat, it’ll be great. 

[halycondaze]

anyways life is hectic and wild but if yall wanna catch me on discord feel free, otherwise i’m kind of busy as hell rn.

[halycondaze]

so i hate to do this but uhhh

khepri [ riegastrung / exaltears / exaltborne / bxstiae ] is racist, ableist, and transphobic. i have written a document detailing the shit he’s said here. 

obviously like, don’t go harassing him or anything, and this isn’t me trying to tell u who you can / can’t interact with, but i think it’s important for people to know. 

[halycondaze]

death, mourning, and femininity in adrestia

trigger warnings: death, superstitions, sexism, victorian germans i mean, adrestians being wild

to start: i have modeled (and borrowed heavily) on the victorian idea of death and the public nature of mourning on the victorian idea of these things. victorian culture has been described as death obsessed, which is where we get the macabre works of artists contemporary to the time.  the fall of house usher, the bronte sister’s haunting works, these were influenced and indeed, perhaps spawned by this cultural obsession with death. 

Keep reading

[halycondaze]

zelgius.

SHE HOLDS A SORROW MUCH LIKE HIS OWN, heavy like a coffin, heavy like a burden. if all their deads paraded together, they’d have a graveyard, but he’d rather not focus on the past behind them. in askr, they can be reborn, or so the summoner has intended for them to believe. in askr, their past mistakes are less relevant as long as they serve the right cause now and he hopes, oh, he hopes it’s true—he clings to the idea of redemption like one clings to a lifeline, hoping to make his life more meaningful than a murder, an attempt at bringing forth the apocalypse and a myriad of other mistakes. she, too, it seems, has had her own share of sins to atone for.

he does not judge. how could he? of all people in this order, he may as well be the one that understands it the most.

while they are keeping watch of the younger heroes of the order ( too young, zelgius remarks to himself, too young to be among their ranks, but war is ruthless, he knows that much too well— ), the former emperor falls asleep by one of the chairs. there and then, she looks small in her armor, her staff by her lap, her expression almost peaceful in its restfulness. it’s a captivating sight, truly, and before the branded can stop himself, he’s pressed a gentle kiss to her temple, a wordless way to wish her a good night of sleep. had he known it would be a welcomed gesture, he’d place her elsewhere, but he’d not push boundaries without knowing, so instead, he simply covers her with the length of his now disattached cape.

even in her kindest dreams,  edelgard’s hands are stained red and scarred silver,  severed and replaced at parts. still,  though,  it’s a nice dream, and a welcome one.   she can barely keep awake with the youngest heroes  -  children,  truly,  they are children.  they are children who pull at her dress and one even yanked her hair,  all met with surprisingly warm chuckles.  for a woman still dressed in her mourning clothes  (  she chides herself,  by this point she should really just change,  even if it means going to buy new clothes.  )  

here,  she has shed the cloak of emperor,  shed the skin of monsterhood and has worked solely towards atonement.  of course,  she can never wash clean of the past;  it haunts her nightly,  hindsight is perfectly clear,  telling her all the ways she could have been better.  not that it matters,  she is dead in fodlan,  and the only edelgard that matters now is the one who has awoken to a pleasant surprise. she hums,  gentle and happy.  without realizing it,  she has pulled his cape closer to her,  warm and content.  a rare feeling,  and she looks up at him.  “ah,  sir zelgius,”  she looks up at him,  and is just as struck as she once was at his repose.  for a man who she has heard horror stories of,  she has never felt safer.  “i must have dozed off,  yes?”

before he can answer,  the little manakete  (  sweet fae,  )  had motioned “up,”  and edelgard obliged,  pulling her into her lap.  she puts his gift to good use,  helping wrap fae comfortably,  and pets the girl’s head. finally settled, she beams once more at him.  “thank you,  zelgius.”

[halycondaze]

i am looking disrespectfully

[halycondaze]

aaaaaaand that’s it, that’s my writing muse, good night folks i’m going to bed

[halycondaze]

@valorwilled​ / claude said to edelgard, “but we were something, don’t you think so?”

part of her so desperately wants to ask,  is this the place to banter,  but edelgard holds her tongue, and instead, hisses in pain.  her sword driven into the dirt  -  somewhere distantly,  she curses herself,  curses thinking it would be best to meet the professor on an even playing field,  sword to sword.  she should have just kept aymr in hand,  she should have just locked herself even higher,  out of the throne room entirely;  she should have just talked to him,  wether at the parlay or back in their school days or right now.

but the time for talking has passed,  at least,  she thinks so.  claude,  he seems to disagree.  all the levied arrows and magic has made her weak,  and edelgard cannot understand why he lingers.  if he thinks this is giving her mercy,  all he’s gifted is a chance to defeat him.  one of us must die today,  if not by his hands,  then by arundel.

“indeed,”  she answers,  voice hoarse,  “we were.”  and she emphasizes were.  they are no longer anything,  anything except enemies with a bitter longing buried under all the proper amounts of animosity.  even if there was still something  -  and she tells herself,  there is nothing there,  not anymore,  she has cut her heart out  -  claude could never love someone with such bloody hands.

“i suppose i must thank you,  for my first love.”  and her last,  but she won’t say that.  using her sword almost like a cane,  edelgard tries to push herself up,  to fight once more.  “but do not think reminding me of it will...”  she trails off,  ever struggling upwards,  catching his eyes.  how cruel,  her traitor heart still beats and longs for him,  even as she tries ( fails ) to raise her sword against him.  “...  will make me go easy on you.”

[halycondaze]

taylor swift * folklore starters

THE 1

i’m doing good, i’m on some new shit

and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed

but we were something, don’t you think so?

and if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you

in my defence, i have none

but it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one

if one thing had been different, would everything be different today

CARDIGAN

when you are young they assume you know nothing

i knew you

baby kiss it better

you put me on and said i was your favourite

a friend to all is a friend to none

chase two girls, lose the one

you drew stars around my scars

but now i’m bleeding

tried to change the ending

i knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs

cause i knew everything when i was young

and i knew you’d come back to me

THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY

how did a middle class divorcée do it?

there’s only so far new money goes

their parties were tasteful, if a little loud

there goes the last great american dynasty

who knows, if she never showed up what could’ve been

she had a marvellous time ruining everything

there goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen

she stole his dog and dyed it key lime green

i had a marvellous time ruining everything

EXILE

i can see you standin’ honey

and it took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it

i think i’ve seen this film before

you’re not my homeland anymore

now i’m in exile seein’ you out

i can see you starin’ honey

like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me

those eyes add insult to injury

i’m not your problem anymore

so who am i offending now?

we always walked a very thin line

you didn’t even hear me out

i never learned to read your mind

MY TEARS RICOCHET

even on my worst day, did i deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?

i swear i loved you

i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace

and if i’m dead to you, why are you at the wake?

you know i didn’t want to have to haunt you

cause when i’d fight, you used to tell me i was brave

and i can go anywhere i want, just not home

you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

you turned into your worst fears

MIRRORBALL

and when i break, it’s in a million pieces

hush

you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes spinning in my highest heels

i know they said the end is near

i can change everything about me to fit in

i’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me

i’m still a believer but i don’t know why

SEVEN

please picture me in the trees

i was too scared to jump in

are there still beautiful things?

cross your heart, won’t tell no other

and thought i can’t recall your face, i still got love for you

love you to the moon and to saturn

and i’ve been meaning to tell you

i think your house is haunted

i used to scream ferociously

AUGUST

i never needed anything more

are you sure?

never have i ever before

cause it was never mine

and i can see us twisted in bedsheets

cause you were never mine

i remember thinking i had you

wanting was enough

for me, it was enough

so much for summer love, and saying “us”

cause you weren’t mine to lose

THIS IS ME TRYING

i’ve been having a hard time adjusting

i didn’t know if you’d care if i came back

i have a lot of regrets about that

and maybe i don’t quite know what to say

i just wanted you to know that this is me trying

they told me all of my cages were mental

so i got wasted like all my potential

i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

but i didn’t pour the whiskey

at least i’m trying

it’s hard to be anywhere these days

ILLICIT AFFAIRS

make sure nobody sees you leave

tell your friends you’re out for a run

take the road less travelled by

and that’s the thing about illicit affairs

like you don’t even exist

but they lie, and they lie, and they lie, a million little times

don’t call me kid

don’t call me baby

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

for you, i would ruin myself

INVISIBLE STRING

i used to think i would meet somebody there

were there clues i didn’t see?

all along, there was some invisible string tying you to me

you ate at my favourite spot for dinner

something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

one single thread of gold tied me to you

hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

MAD WOMAN

what did you think i’d say to that?

what do you sing on your drive home?

every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy

and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry

what a shame, she went mad

no one likes a mad woman

you made her like that

it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together

cause you took everything from me

the master of spin has a couple side flings

good wives always know

EPIPHANY

just a flesh wound

___, i think he’s bleedin’ out

something med school did not cover

doc, i think she’s crashin’ out

and some things you just can’t speak about

to make some sense of what you’ve seen

BETTY

but i think it’s cause of me

it’s like i couldn’t breathe

you can’t believe a word she says

the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you

would you have me?

would you want me?

would you tell me to go straight to hell?

i’m only seventeen, i don’t know anything

but i know i miss you

just thinking of you

i dreamt of you all summer long

the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you

PEACE

i never had the courage of my convictions

as long as danger is near

but i would die for you in secret

the devil’s in the details

but you got a friend in me

your integrity makes me seem small

and you know that i’d swing with you for the fences

and you know that i’d sit with you in the trenches

and you know that i’d give you my wild

and you know that i’d give you my child

is it enough?

all these people think love’s for show

would it be enough if i could never give you peace?

HOAX

this has broken me down

stood on the cliffside screaming “give me a reason”

your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in

don’t want no other shade of blue but you

i am ash from your fire

you know i left a part of me back in new york

you knew the hero died, so what’s the movie for

you knew it still hurts underneath my scares

you knew you won, so what’s the point of keeping score?

darling, this was just as hard

you have beaten my heart

no other sadness in the world would do

[halycondaze]

Forgot to post this here….

[halycondaze]

@halycondaze​ sent: "ah, khalid!“ edelgard calls after him, picking up her pace just a little to come beside him. his birthday gift has been kept tucked inside her bag, and by this point, she had worried she would never get to give it to him on the day proper. it is wrapped in simple, white paper, a hand bound book of recipes for alchemical concoctions, from a country west of dagda nigh impossible to source, but edelgard could care less about the trouble she went through to get it. after all, the hardest part would be now, talking without a blush on her face and her voice shaking. her traitor heart pounds in her ears, as she says, "i’m glad i caught you. it would be remiss not to give you your gift on your birthday.” her hands linger as she presents the book.

      “This is…for me?” Close as they’ve become, he hadn’t exactly expected a gift from his Adrestian counterpart ( not that he would confess to hoping for one, either. it is one thing, he thinks, to trust her with the truth of his heritage and his dreams, it is another to trust her with his heart. although, if he is being honest, he thinks she would take good care of it, regardless of the nature of her own affections ). Then again, perhaps it is not so surprising that he would receive a gift from her–they are friends, after all, even if he finds himself silently wishing for more. And so, his only slightly bewildered look gives way to a genuine smile. 

     The white paper wrapping is easily torn, though he does try to keep it neat, knowing he’ll have to carry the remnants around until he finds somewhere to dispose of them, his eyebrows rising as he takes in the hand-bound book. Ever-curious, he flips it open immediately, finding recipes for concoctions he’s never seen before…and he’s certainly seen a lot of these. Further investigation reveals the book to be from a country west of Dagda–such a gift had to have been difficult to find, not to mention expensive. In other words, Edelgard must’ve put in quite a lot of effort in finding such a gift, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t hope that it means, well, something. Ignoring the way his heart has decided to go off on its own tempo at the thought, he lets his smile curve towards the mischievous. 

    “You sure you should be giving me something like this, Edelgard? I’m kidding, I’m kidding! But I am sure I’ll get a lot of use out of this–I’ll have to study it further when I’ve got some time. Thanks, Edelgard. I mean it.” 

[halycondaze]

logs on specifically for claude’s birthday

[halycondaze]

hi! i’ve been considering combining my two multis into one blog, since they’re both very small rosters and idk, everything feels very cluttered around here. 

poll link

[halycondaze]

halycondaze blog clean up

hi! it’s me! i’m not dead! i’m going to do a lot (lot) of cleaning and edit this blog down to my three biggest muses (edelgard, cyril, and rajya) and clean out my drafts. it’s not a nuclear drop, and if there’s a specific thread you want me to keep, feel free to message me about it, but otherwise, i’m going to be editing myself down a lot, because the restaurant is finally reopening and i’ll be working a lot.  

as always, moots are welcome to add me on discord, where i’ll definitely be rping more casually.

[halycondaze]

sorry for not really being here, i’ve been having a time of it, and i’m very sick and tired. i’ll try and clean out my drafts tomorrow, though.