hamlineenglish-blog

[hamlineenglish-blog]

Pride and Prejudice Go

An app that shows you where there’s a young man in possession of a good fortune who must be in want of a wife

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WHEN TAKING TOO MANY ENGLISH CLASSES MAKES MY HYPER-CRITICAL OF EVERYTHING I READ OR WATCH

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Them: I have a 500 word paper that I-

English Major: 500 words? That’s not a paper. That’s an abstract. Where’s the rest of it? WHERE IS IT. 

Them: I got a text from-

English Major: A text? What devices does it use? How does it mean? Why does it mean? HOW DO TEXTS MEAN?

Them: You need to turn right.

English Major: Write. Write. Write like you’re running out of time. WRITE DAY AND NIGHT LIKE YOU’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. 

Them: I have to do a review of literature for this lab repor-

English Major: You don’t review the literature. You ENGAGE with it. EXAMINE it. RESPOND to it.

Them: I’m allergic to bee-

English Major: TO BE OR NOT TO BE THAT IS THE QUESTION WHETHER TIS NOBLER IN THE MIND TO SUFFER THE SLINGS AND ARROWS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE OR TO TAKE ARMS AGAINST A

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My professors: Everything in literature is intentional. Every word is carefully chosen. It all has meaning. The writers are very careful.

Me, an actual writer: *rereads something I just wrote* Did I… just accidentally reference mythbusters?

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Me: *formally emails professor and proofreads about 28 times*

Professor: ok (Sent from iPhone)

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instead of, you know, actually reading, I’ve been searching for even more books to read. ya feel?

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shakespeare was ahead of his time

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I turned 25 and started saying “let’s circle back” in my correspondence

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How to rile up a Harry Potter fan:

Calmly

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me making coffee: this going to fix everything.

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This is much better than giving up! 

tip:

get revenge on teachers u hate by angrily writing a bomb ass lab report/essay/whatever it is to prove them wrong

[hamlineenglish-blog]

[hamlineenglish-blog]

Writing Prompt #119

As a superhero, there were always occassions in civilian life where you ran into people who didn’t know you outside the persona. It wasn’t abnormal for your barista to be someone you saved, or to walk past some child who carried plastic figurines in your image. What was abnormal was having an old archnemesis ringing up your gas station purchase.

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[hamlineenglish-blog]

Famous beekeepers

Shakespeare: To bee or not to bee

Nietzsche: To do is to bee

Sartre: To bee is to do

Sinatra: Do bee do bee do

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friendly reminder to all uni students to make sure you’re eating and sleeping and taking time off academics because it’s v easy to let those things slip when you’re up against loads of deadlines and exams but they’re all v important for your wellbeing

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professor: read these poems for class

me: hey this is actually really good and i enjoyed th-

professor: over analyze it

me: what why wou-

professor: beat it to death

professor: there is no enjoyment of poetry

professor: there is only metaphor and analysis