hamptercatapult - Tumblr blog

[hamptercatapult]

i once went to vegas as a child pre smart phones and there was a store in one of the hotels selling gold and diamond phones and i walked right in and pointed at one and said hey can i hold that i might be interested in it and the worker looked at 10 year old me and asked if i could afford it and i told him well ma has been extra generous with the lunch money lately and i've been putting a little away each day and i hadn't checked interest in a bit and he said the phone cost $50k and i stood there and thought for a moment and said well i'll have to do a couple extra chores around the neighborhood but i could handle that if i could do a payment plan and he asked me what kind of chores i did to make so much money and he did not like me answering "burglary"

[hamptercatapult]

My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

[hamptercatapult]

Realized if I beat around the bush this is gonna take forever so, hi, Im a computer scientist who is a disabled trans woman. I am highly competent but unemployable due to certain disability issues. Currently Im working on PierMesh (https://piermesh.net) and trying to get funding for it. In the short term though Ive been working on learning Proxmox and Im at a point where I feel confident enough with it to be ready to set up experimentation for providing cheap vps hosting. While I could slowly scrape together the tech for this I think the sooner Im less dependent on donations the better. Please consider helping me fund the tech I need to get set up to provide hosting. The goal below will cover this and things that we need around the house (including primarily disability aids)

ID: Red and white tabby getting pet

Venmo: AGIEF

Cashapp: $cmder

Paypal: https://paypal.me/agieocean

$550/$800 raised over halfway there!!!

[hamptercatapult]

“how dare you say we piss on the poor” is perhaps THEE best piece of vernacular to come out of tumblr dot com in the past decade. along with “what were you doing at the devils sacrament” (cheeky. inspired. relevant in every context) and “harold, they're lesbians” (timeless. funny as hell. gay)

[hamptercatapult]

this image just tickles me in a certain way like... not 'as hard as i can' but as soon.. he is too busy to laugh right now and he doesnt know when he will be available but he'll try to squeeze it in

[hamptercatapult]

people born in 24 Are 2000 now

[hamptercatapult]

No in between. Reblog if you vote pleas

[hamptercatapult]

[hamptercatapult]

Ancient Greek Punishment: UI Edition is an odd little experience that allows you to reenact the punishments bestowed by ancient Greek gods in UI form!

Read More & Play The Full Game, Free (Browser)

[hamptercatapult]

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

[hamptercatapult]

[hamptercatapult]

got fired via a text from my boss who i’ve never digitally communicated with and because it was an unknown number sending a mysterious link with no context (turned out to be security camera footage of me taking 1 can of cheap beer) i assumed it was spam and my immediate response was

[hamptercatapult]

[hamptercatapult]

Listen man by not voting for Jill Stein you are handing Trump the presidency, there is zero chance of Biden winning and your democratic purity politics are going to make the orange man win again. Vote green no matter wheen

[hamptercatapult]

Can't decide whether it's funnier to say "my hungry ass could never work at a" and then say something that implies you're eating something truly grotesque or something that just, makes no sense

[hamptercatapult]

ford prefect: ok Well so the ebtire earth just exploded and everyone died but its ok. Dont freak out. Heres a kindle fire

arthur dent:

[hamptercatapult]

its suck my motherfucking dick sunday