handern - Tumblr blog

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this from the guy who wrote the sting pain index, a scale he constructed after letting himself be stung by insects

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i see typo in the group chat is a time honoured tradition

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Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.

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Found my 53yo very-much-not-online father in the kitchen today meticulously arranging cutlery on the countertop and i was like 'what are you doing' and he looked up at me with the world's most shit-eating grin and said "Your mother told me this is how you rick-roll the Youth" and i looked over and it was fucking. Loss.jpg.

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My favorite lines in Midnight Burger so far (some of these might not be 100% accurate my memory isn't great)

"THIS MOLOTOV COCKTAIL IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY COMMUNISM"

"... He's like an artist... And his canvas is misery"

"my dear, I have given up"

"you are SO handy!" "I. KNOW."

"I'm immortal, he's 173 years old, we have time"

"you're the only scientist I've met to say things like "eh... well""

"dear, are our friends attempting to... Inebriate a tree?" "Yes dear. And lord forgive me but I have to see what happens"

"is that a huge bone" "Iforgottodropit"

"so why aren't we telling ava" "because ava is a crazy science wizard who would use a dooms day device just to see what would happen"

"so you decided to come in here all guns blazing?" "Yes" "... You're heart wasn't in it, Ted" "... I know"

*in various bad country accents* "say when" "say when" "say when" "say when"

"he killed you daddy, and your mule!" "I loved that mule" "and your dad" "yeah him too"

"I feel like we just slipped an unknowable banana peel into a ball pit of ambiguity"

"Gloria bit John Wilkes Booth"

"ok I've got a creme brulee torch and I'm about to get weird with it"

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knowing how long Caspar has been working at the dinner makes it even funnier how much he sucks at his job

every time he tries to act like a normal waiter/manager he makes it sound like he's either on his first day or/and he's running a front for the mafia

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If its more than one of these, vote the one that was strongest and/or lasted the longest.

I wanted to be a marine illustrator !! Like for textbooks n stuff

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cnetizens have started making mini looms for their children to weave because of the school's craft classes

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Gold ring with quartz intaglio depicting an ant, Roman, 1st-2nd century AD

from The Yale University Art Collection

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Cylinder seal with winged hero with bull and lion, Neo-Babylonian, 7th century BC

from The Morgan Library & Museum

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Fitz really trained as an assassin for 20+ years only to have every one of his assassination plans be running around really fast and beating the target to death before the guards can get him. With NO escape route considered. Chade you were so wasted on this goon

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I've been listening to enough podcasts by now to know a show about serving burgers in space would have me stare at a wall in under 20 episodes yet here I am, daring to be surprised about that

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Arequipa Region, Peru by Suzanne Levasseur

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The Midnight Burger crew mourning for Caspar and he's just out there making his jailers insane, having his robot bff beat up bigger robots in a space bar and now he's in a western living his best life

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Caspar Midnight Burger I love you so much

Ava Midnight Burger I am in love with you