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[hannahtriestobeanadult]

9/4/17

hey fam it’s been a minute! i really don’t know what i wanted to say when i opened my laptop to make this post but i felt like writing so here i am. i’m home alone on monday night after labor day weekend, watching bachelor in paradise and eating ice cream alone on my couch #cozy. i really wanna get more decorations for my apartment to make it homier and cozier. tomorrow i’m going to my client’s office which is exciting and i have to drive like 45 min away and wear a suit and stuff so that’ll be something new and professional and potentially interesting. i miss walking everywhere and sleeping more and eating less like i did in college. i’m gonna try to work out / walk / just generally move a little more each week. this weekend at osu was really great, just the right amount of chill and crazy/fun/drinking at bars, got to see a lot of my friends but also chill and spend some good time with jordan. it felt very natural, like how we were back in college, probably because i was back in that environment and i was my relaxed “college self” not thinking about marriage or the future or anything other than the moment. so maybe i should live in the moment more. it’s hard to be like “a kid” here in cincy bc my work and apartment and stuff are all so grown-up. but i wanna still be like a 22 year old kid and fuck around outside of work. like im 22 i can still be a slob and not cook and eat fast food and get drunk and be hungover and be a “mess” like not a totally put together adult yet for at least like 5 years. right?? 27 is when i’ll get it together and start thinking about marriage. not now. i’m totally rambling. i drank every night from wednesday to sunday so yay i’m still young and fun! i dont really know what else to say rn i’m just chillin, don’t really know what to look forward to for the next few weeks but i’m just tryna take it day by day and live in the moment 

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

7/26/17

ok i’m just gonna recount the ridiculous night i just had and you tell me what you think/if i’m gonna get fired lmao (these are all work people and stuff in the story)

so this guy zach who’s like 30 invited a bunch of people like ages 21-30 (younger ppl but not only new ppl) to a happy hour after work today because this girl lucy who is like 23 is here from pittsburgh. ok so i think i should go, meet people, socialize with co-workers it’ll be nice. at 5pm after work we walk to a bar  nearby. it’s me, zach, another guy who’s like 28, and 2 other girls who are 23. okay. i have one beer, everyone else has 2 or 3. fine. we hang out, laughing, talking it’s really fun. now it’s already like 7:30. we walk to another restaurant nearby for dinner. everyone else has several more beers with dinner. now it’s 8:30, we ate dinner, everyone is very tipsy and i’m sober. i turn to go home, and everyone’s like “no!!!! after-party at the office!!!” im like w h a t  i thought they were joking but no. (and ps. last weekend i went to a party and zach was there and he kept bashing me for leaving early and i’m the new girl and dont wanna be known as anto-social and always going home early so i feel like i have to stay). so. we all go back into the office. it’s almost 9pm. it’s dark out, everyone is obvi gone from the office, we have to unlock the doors and shit. 28 year old guy (who is our IT guy) goes “i’m gonna get our karaoke machine” also thought this was a joke. nope. all 6 of us (5 drunk, one sober-me) go into our fancy conference room, IT guy hooks up laptop to our giant projector (with a camera) and starts blasting britney spears karaoke through the projector and speakers of the conference room. cameras are def recording this. everyone except me goes into the office fridge (which contains cases of beer) and takes more beer and starts drinking. [[ok pause DISCLAIMER: i’m like not entirely sure what the rules are for drinking at work, because our fridge is always stocked with beer that employees can have at any time, and some people drink on fridays or even any other afternoon in the office, even liquor. i’ve seen like 50 year old ppl at our company drinking during the day at work, this company seems very lax with alcohol, almost to the point where like...... i feel like everyone has a drinking problem bc theyre drinking every single day?? everything is kind of centered around beer here it seems lol but like...?? we’re a culture of fun? i guess? and apparently having beer at work is like a common millennial thing now for progressive companies? idk.]] so back to the story it’s 9pm and they’re all drinking beer, dancing on table tops and singing karaoke in our conference room (and one girl got a snapchat video WITH ME IN IT which is my real main concern........ i wasnt doing anything just kind of watching people dance and laughing i wasn’t drinking but like.......... proof that i was in the office at 9pm and other ppl were dancing ----- not a good look). THEN everyone decides we have to skype call some guy named jack who works here but i’ve never met him he’s in NJ or something? so they literally use our conference room skype projector and skype him onto our giant projector screen and continue singing and dancing with him---------- also probably was being monitored and recorded or something.... idk just more proof of me being there. at 9:30pm i finally left, literally i felt so obligated to stay the whole time it was so weird i felt like i couldnt leave all night. they are all still there at the office drunk as fuck. THOUGHTS

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

7/6/17

today for work i had to fill out a survey about how my first month at tier1 went and it made me realize how great things are actually going for me. i rated every question with like 5/5 stars in terms of how good my onboarding experience has been and how excited i am about my future at tier1 and how comfortable i feel there so yay!!!!!!! like no matter how you spin it, camp or college will always be better lifestyles than the real working world. but 1. at least i got to experience those for so many years (i never wanna forget the details of those times in my life) and 2. if i have to work (which I do... like what other option is there?), i’m at the best place for me that i could have wanted. here’s some other stuff

positives: -today was not bad at work like solid 6.5/10 -i ate decently healthy today -jordan and i were able to talk during the day which rarely happens at camp -my roommate installed apple tv so we have lots of channels now which is a huge plus and we just spent like 3 hours watching house hunters and i feel like we rly bonded -weekend is tomorrow already -i really havent had a weekend yet in 4 weeks where i had no plans. which is nice, like i always had at least one night of stuff to do with roommate or other friends or something, and i still have a few more ppl i can reach out to in cincy so yay slowly but surely making more connections here!! negatives: -still bored and lonely sometimes -jordan won’t be able to talk much the next few days bc the session is ending  -don’t have any plans this weekend -my stomach is bugging me and im constipated -i really can’t wait for camp to be over so i can communicate with my bf more

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

7/5/17

ugh you guys i have good days and i have bad days here in cincy. basically every day i feel like “fine” and i’m trying to be positive about everything but i still get really depressed about my life as an adult. today i told jordan that it feels like im just killing time at work so i can come home and kill time until it’s time for bed which is really fucking depressing but it’s true right now. i have like no real work to do at work so i just sit around wasting time until 5pm then i go home, cook dinner and sit around watching tv. i know it won’t be like this forever. hopefully (somehow?) i’ll make more friends and have more plans at night and stuff, and i know i’ll get busier at work. but right now all i can think of to look forward to is going home to cle or cbus and seeing my family or jordan or my old friends :/ i know this is super depressing but i promise i’m like really fine emotionally for the most part. like sitting right at a happy 7/10 most of the day. it’s always hard moving to a new city and starting a new life and at least i have a good job and good apartment and i have a few people i know here, so i’m not totally alone. things could totally be worse.

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

6/29/17

hey fam, not much new to report. work has been good, very slow and not much to do but i’m getting closer with the people i work with and i really like them and the company and i’m really pumped to get started working on a project. i’m sitting in on a decent amount of meetings and stuff and helping out with little tasks here and there, so i feel like i’ll get on a real project pretty soon and then i’ll be really busy which is good. i’ve been eating super unhealthy lately and not getting much exercise, so thats not good but other than that everything is pretty much good. 

i’m going home tomorrow!!! i’m super excited for this weekend, i’m taking monday off and going to cle friday-sunday then columbus monday-tuesday for the 4th. it’ll be a really nice long break, i’m excited to be back in solon with my parents but more importantly....... i get to see jordan!!!!!!! this is the longest we’ve ever been apart (exactly a month) which i guess isn’t even that long but still it’s been rough, especially since we really can’t talk much. so yay!!! i’m pumped. also v excited to leave work 2 hours early tm since i worked overtime yesterday, and getting my first paycheck tm!!!!!!! thank god bc i’ve been spending so much money i need a little inward cash flow. tomorrow is gonna be boring as hell at work tho bc no one will even be there bc of the holiday weekend, and my 2 friends that i sit with will be gone and i have zero work to do and zero meetings on my calendar tomorrow. i’ll just sit at my desk and read articles on linkedin for 6 hours i suppose. i’m gonna go eat some chocolate rn even tho i’ve had 14million calories today xoxo hcaps

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

6/21/17

feeling really #hopeless and dumb bc i feel like everything i ever do or eat is unhealthy so i always feel like i should just not eat, and sleep instead and that mentality is so unhealthy like everything about me is unhealthy

when i cook, im using oil or spices or sauces that have chemicals and fat and all kinds of bad stuff in them and like even if i cook veggies and rice and beans, like the rice came in a bag that probably had preservatives and sodium and chemicals and the beans were in a sad with salt and other bad stuff

and if i make a frozen meal, even if its all organic fresh healthy whatever whatever kale pasta it still has preservatives and was frozen so it has lots of sodium and cant have that bc itll raise ur blood pressure

and if i eat a salad for lunch, well the dressing has 14 grams of sugar and the lettuce was pre-packaged so that has chemicals and stuff and cheese is bad for u and blah blah blah blah

so i just always feel like everything i eat is inherently bad for me, so i should just eat less. which i know is a flawed way to think but like.......... help me not think this way

also i dont drink enough water (like whatever) or workout at all / get enough movement or exercise 

and i got really sunburnt last weekend and its blistering and peeling and now my chances of getting skin cancer are like raised by 60% or something i need to get off this earth help me be normal

and like in college i didnt give a shit about anything. i looked skinny enough so it was fine. i ate out every night basically but i didnt eat that much else during the day so i still was consuming less. and i slept a lot more and partied a lot more obviously and drank a shit ton and even smoked sometimes but now suddenly i feel like i have to be so healthy and adult and put-together now that im in the real world when in reality i know it shouldn’t be that black and white and i need to chill the fuck out

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

6/20/17

reasons today was a good day (which make me seem like a lil bitch after reading yesterdays post):

-i got to text jordan a lot throughout the day -free sandwich for lunch at work -we got to buy $65 worth of apparel from my company for free with the logo on it and stuff!! super cool!! -my manager invited me to sit in on a lot of meetings for the client project she’s working on!!! hopefully this will lead to me being permanently staffed on a project so i’m really excited and grateful to be able to observe and learn and have some valuable work to do!! -i cooked roasted broccoli and cauliflower and brown rice and beans tn so healthy and delicious and i never cook anything ever so go me

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

6/19/17

well today was not a very good day. i’m extremely sunburned and in lots of pain. and i go into work today knowing i literally have nothing on my calendar all week so im gonna just be sitting at my desk bored as hell. background: there are 7 new people (including me) who all started on the same day- all in diff departments so we have diff jobs but i’m in change management (CM) and two other new ppl are with me. so everyone in all the other departments has slowly gotten placed on projects (like actual client work) and the CM people have just been doing nothing but like boring training videos and stuff. well, today the 2 other new CM people got personal invitations from 2 different directors like super high up in the company asking them to help and observe a change management project :) so i’m the only one who hasn’t gotten asked to be on a project, or even observe. i’m trying not to take it personally and i know i’ll get staffed eventually but it really hurts that everyone got picked over me, and it makes me feel like i’m falling behind already, even though we haven’t even done anything yet???? 

and then jordan. i havent been able to talk to him like at all. he’s at camp and can only text me starting at like 11:45pm every night, and i would probably normally go to sleep at like 10 on worknights since i have to get up early. so i come home from work every day at 5, and literally sit around until 11:45pm waiting for him to text me. and i get so frustrated because i know there are other times during the day when he could text me and he doesnt, just because he’s so afraid of breaking a rule or disobeying someone. i’m not asking him to blatantly break the rules and use his phone when he  shouldnt, but i know for a fact there are times when he could be talking to me at least like one text or one snapchat during the day. and then tonight is finally his day off, so i’ve been so excited for like a week that we’ll finally get to talk, and we were gonna facetime tonight, and i know he gets home from camp around 7 and has 25 hours off. but he doesnt text me til 9:45 and hes like ok we can facetime now but i have to go to a movie with my dad that starts at 10:15

i’m so frustrated and upset and i just wanna talk to my bf and i feel like we dont even know any details of each others lives anymore since we can n e v e r t a l k

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

also just went to a super cool flea market and got some local art and food and ran into a girl from my sorority who invited us to hang out! aND my friend steph sent me a nice card thing im feeling really blessed and loved thx to all my amazing friends and family ugh i dont deserve u all

6/17/17

i’m so happy!!! i went out last night to super fun bars with my roommate and we ran into one of my camp friends and hung out with her friends all night!! and i’ve had multiple offers for plans like from work people and natalie and her bf are coming into town tn so i’m seeing them and yay social life!! ln was really so fun

and i’ve only cried like 2 times in the 2 weeks since i’ve moved here so honestly doing amazing go me

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

6/17/17

i’m so happy!!! i went out last night to super fun bars with my roommate and we ran into one of my camp friends and hung out with her friends all night!! and i’ve had multiple offers for plans like from work people and natalie and her bf are coming into town tn so i’m seeing them and yay social life!! ln was really so fun

and i’ve only cried like 2 times in the 2 weeks since i’ve moved here so honestly doing amazing go me

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

6/15/17

good: -i like my roommate, shes super nice and fun and similar to me and very flexible and laid back and down to do whatever with me -i like my company. and the people are nice and i’m getting closer with some of the new people who started with me last week -we’ve had a few happy hours and stuff so they’re keeping us busy socially and there’s lots to do in cincy, and i feel like i’m kinda making friends and have options of stuff to do outside of work which is great -lots of my friends have been texting me and checking on me and its so nice to know that i still have so many great friends in columbus and cle and elsewhere that i can still see once in a while -my apartment is pretty nice and big and clean and stuff -im like generally happier here than i expected to be and the transition to working and living here is going more smoothly than i expected and i feel like i have some stuff to look forward to in the future -the weather is rly nice in the summer here

bad: -my bed is super uncomfy :/ and i get rly frustrated trying to sleep cause its so bulky and stiff yet also too small and my feet hang off the end so going to bed is an unpleasant experience and it makes me angry -my room is also so dimly lit i literally have 4 different light sources plus windows and its so dark in here -i can never rly talk to jordan and i miss him :( -one of the girls at work is sorta annoying and i can already see cliques starting to form which is like sooo annoying and she thinks she’s cooler than she is. she’s trying to get one of the “cooler” girls to like her and hang out just the two of them and its like so cliquey and annoying and i didnt believe people when they said there would be social drama in the workplace but its already happening lmao -we only have super basic cable at my apartment so theres literally never anything to watch on tv together :/ it would just be nice to have somethin on in the background but like we cant rly do that but whatever

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

6/10/17

survived week 1 of work!! i think i really like this company and am gonna like my job there!

6 other new hires are really cool. they all are from far away places but somehow have lots of friends in cincy? so it might be a little harder to become friends with them, but one of the new guys from work invited me to go out to bars with him and his friends last night so i went! it was pretty fun. i’m really trying to take things one day at a time and not worry about having a group of friends right away, but so far everything has been going really well and i really have nothing to complain about :) also my “work group manager” who i think is like my primary boss (?) has been so nice and reaching out to me a lot to help me transition to cincy and my new job- at work she’s doing exactly what i think i wanna be doing and she’s like the 10 year older version of me, so i think she’s gonna be a good role model and stuff.

today i finally met my roommate! i think she’s gonna be pretty cool and we seem very similar. YAY 

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

6/5/17

well fam, i survived my first day of work! it was good!! like , pretty good!! 

i think i’m really gonna like this company. it honestly seems like a perfect fit for me, they’re really all fun and nice and lots of young people and  social events and stuff, plus the work seems like what i wanna do too. its just gonna be a huge transition and take at least a month or two until i feel like i’m in a routine and know what i’m doing and feel comfortable at work. it’s also just gonna take a while for me to get into the routine of this life, like waking up at 7:30 every day and working all. day. and then going home at 5 and like.... watching tv? what do i do after work? ugh this is so rambly. i just cant get over the fact that this is like forever. people are at camp or school and go through diff cycles in life and break periods and stuff and im just like............... go to work every day then u retire and die

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

6/4/17

okay well

im in cincinnati

im all moved in to my apartment and its really nice and a cool area and im happy with it. my parents just left about an hour ago and ever since i’ve been in my bed crying lol. this is so weird. i know i’ll be okay eventually, i don’t feel that sad but my parents cried so much when they left and i cried and its just so weird like this is it. this is my life now. i’m totally on my own, making my own living and life. weird weird weird ugh 

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

6/2/17

it’s past midnight so today is officially moving day

today i said goodbye to my sister, 3 of my best friends, and my boyfriend for an indefinite amount of time. idk the next time i’ll see any of them. currently sobbing but not like the kind where you’re hysterically breathing hard, but the kind where tears are just silently running down your cheeks and you can’t stop them from coming. zoe said it so well earlier: everything just feels so permanent. like this job and this new city and apartment and life have no end or break in sight. everything else in my life before this had some ending period, or like winter break or summer break etc etc and this is just my life now for the foreseeable future with no breaks or changes in sight. which i thought would be comforting, but is actually terrifying. even though my life is now “known,” there are still so many unknowns that i hadn’t expected.

also i guess now officially starts my long-distance relationship with my boyfriend. i know i’m only like 2 hours away and we’ll be able to see each other every few weeks, but still, we’re gonna have totally different lives than the past 2 years where we’ve been living at college together. and i’m really scared for that. i’m gonna be lonely and idk it’s just a big change and i’m nervous and sad.

[hannahtriestobeanadult]

5/28/17

hi every1!! i seriously doubt i’m gonna actually use this blog regularly but who knows! i’m moving to cincinnati in SIX DAYS holy cow to start my job in HR consulting. i may or may not document some of my tRiUmPhS and tRiBuLaTiOnS (i just googled the meaning of that word) in my new life as a ~working adult~ so follow me on my journey to becoming a young #professional working woman!!!!!!!!!! maybe this will inspire me or just be something fun to look back on like a diary of my first (year, some period of time?) of working in the “REAL WORLD” wish me luck xoxo