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its crazy how the world is so big you can go your whole life not knowing there’s a creature that exists and it turns out there’s a fuckton of them 

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discovered an intriguing network of pornbots which appear to be repeatedly reblogging this picture of butter between themselves

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the “ok smart guy YOU take a crack at it” picture is quite literally one of the funniest things to ever come out of the internet

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It’s time to GO Home and Sleep

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I hope that little german boy is still playing fortnite und trinking cola

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wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

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Someone at my work keeps joking that they just need to clone me so we’ll have full coverage and I’m honestly offended on behalf of my clone at the idea she’s be brought into this world just so she could work. If I get cloned, first off we are unionizing

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hate when streaming services are like.... you can now pay cinema prices to watch new releases at home! not to show my age but if i am watching it on my tv set then it's free??? you think you're an equal to big picturehouse? with no big screen? no big pop corn? you want to charge cinema price to show me a movey in my own house? Honour demands i kill you btw

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MICHAEL CERA as ALLAN BARBIE (2023) dir. Greta Gerwig

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imagining walking thru a crowded market street and hearing several town criers shouting these at me

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nothing fills you with greater false confidence than managing to wake up early once

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Dude living downstairs has been loudly rapping for like 10 minutes, then suddenly did a high pitched scream, and now its silent down there

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SPILLED.