happy2ndbebi

[happy2ndbebi]

happy 2nd bebi 💚

How to start a heartwarming message when all i felt today was a warm love from my bebi and all i want was you being on my side today ☹️ Baby, happy 2nd. Two months(not actually two months) full of love and misunderstanding yet we still have each others hands, and that what’s matter most. 💚 Thank you sa lahat lahat, lalo na sa pasensya, i know no words or things can compare how much patience ang binibigay mo sakin. :( if there are times na magssleep tayo ng hindi okay, pero alam ko ayaw mo ng ganon kaya lagi mo binababa pride mo kahit alam ko nasasaktan ko ego mo sa point nayon, salamat, salamat sa pag lunok ng pride, always baby! Thank you sa walang sawang pagpaparamdam na mahalaga ako sayo, sa pagtanggap ng lahat ng flaws ko, alam ko sobrang daming bagay na hindi ako kamahal mahal pero andyan ka padin pinaparamdam mo na perfect ako, na walang mali sakin. :( kung may mga pagkakataon man na nasasabi ko yung salitang “hiwalay or iwan moko” andyan ka padin, pilit na nililiwanag na hindi mo ako iiwan, na problema lang to, na pagdadaanan lang natin to, thank you sa pag intindi na tinoyo lang ako at alam mong hindi ko meant lahat ng masasakit na salita na aking nasabi, na mas okay ng magtiis sa ugali ko kaysa mawala ako. Sorry if may times na nasasagad na kita, sa pang aaway lagi, alam kong napapagod kana din minsan sakin, na pag magkasama tayo hindi kita matignan kasi naiinis ako na para bang wala kang halaga sakin. Pero naisip ko din nung tinignan kita ulit na eto yung mahal ko, eto yung kahit anong mangyari hindi ko susukuan, na kahit dumating yung bagay o oras na ang gulo na, mas pipiliin ko padin mag stay kasi yun yung pinang hahawakan ko, yung makasama ka habang buhay. Normal yung away, pero ako hindi na normal sa araw araw na pang aaway sayo. :( sorry baby sa tuwing uuwi ako at maghihiwalay tayo, dun pa tayo magkakaron ng hindi pagkakaintindihan, na dapat mas maging clingy pa ako kasi matatagalan na naman yung hindi natin pagkikita, sorry baby. Kung sobrang paranoid ko man, o tamang hinala sa mga bagay na ginagawa mo, kahit andyan ka lang naman sainyo, nagpapaasim lalo ng laway mo, sorry baby. Kung pilit kong binabalikan lahat ng bad memories mo, kahit alam kong nagawa mo lang yun kasi nasaktan ka, siguro iba iba lang talaga tayo ng coping mechanism and ganon yung sayo, sorry if najudge kita before sa past mo baby. :( Mahal kita, hindi dahil sa maganda ka kasi oo given nayon, mahal kita sa hindi ko maipaliwanag na dahilan. Ang daming reasons para hiwalayan ako, yung ugali kong hindi maintindihan na bigla nagagalit, maiinis at mapipikon ako sayo kahit wala ka naman ginagawa pero at the end of the day mayron padin akong pat canono na alam kong mamahalin ako sa araw araw ng buhay mo. Siguro nga eto na yung tinatawag na “contentment” na gusto ko lang maging masaya kasama ka kahit umiihi o nagtatakla ka lang habang ako nagtotooth brush or nag wawash ng face. Haaay mahal na mahal kita baby. 💚 PS: Yup, medyo tagalog tayo ngayon. Hahaha. I love you so much baby! 💓

[happy2ndbebi]

Fast forward again.. Mixed emotions i felt this day; i was happy knowing i was with you, knowing i had my day off well spent, knowing my girl will pick me up and as i open the car’s door i’ll see a beautiful fine lady. I was scared and awkward, that i might fell asleep, not having enough energy and you’ll find me irritating and boring. I was annoyed cos u keep on using your phone like hello i’m here. And lastly, i was schocked as you took advantage of my lip’s virginity :( Fast forward 2x. In a span of months, i feel like we have so much memories to treasured, atlast internship done! Time to prepare yourself for boards, as much as i wanted to be with u everyday, i can’t cos work thing of ofcourse. But other than that, i know you know that you’ll have me through thick and thin. I saw every pain, every sleepless nights, every pack of cigarette consumed, every single day na hindi naliligo, every gisingin-moko-baby, every food that’s always grab food, every St. jude days, every single prayer that’s prayed wholeheartedly. And that, you deserve every thing that u have now! I want to say and elaborate more of us. But it’s 6:45pm 11/12/2019 and i’m about to out. Sobra na ako excited makita ka. Walang araw na nagsisi ako sa kung anong meron tayo. God knows how i prayed for someone like u, for how loving u are with your family. And I am proud of how much you’ve change as a person based sa mga kwento mo sa past lifestyle mo uh. And i want you to know that my love for u will never change. I love you so much baby. Happy first!!! ♥️

[happy2ndbebi]

A little flashback.. Oh I remembered how i wanted you to stop pursuing me, di ko alam bakit ko naisipan yon. But it’s just that i wanted you to stop without any reason why. Little did i know that it was your compre nga pala, bat ba ako sumabay pa. after an hour or two i got a reply from you saying

[happy2ndbebi]

A little flashback.. Oh I remembered how i wanted you to stop pursuing me, di ko alam bakit ko naisipan yon. But it’s just that i wanted you to stop without any reason why. Little did i know that it was your compre nga pala, bat ba ako sumabay pa. after an hour or two i got a reply from you saying...

[happy2ndbebi]

MAY 10, 2019 Taking advantage of all possible ways to say goodbye and to start a conversation at the same time in a professional way hahahaha :)) just so u know, you’re the main reason why i leave a msg sa mga auf para hindi halatang papansin ako. Hehe but admit it, galing ko don no. Got u there asim! That’s the start of something to be treasured, many million reasons and moments to be treasured! Thanks for putting much colors to my life, pat! Thanks for being such a beautiful person inside and out.:) Days, weeks passed we were consistent of being pacute and torpe to each other, cos we’re both shy of showing what we really feel, yes i admit i was having a puppy feeling na for u back then but i was scared, scared that I might be a rebound for u, or i might hurt you cos maybe i was just sad at that moment and you made me feel loved. We all know that all relationship starts from being unsure to sure one, cos it’s hard to give and explain again yourself to another person but you made everything easier, you made everything light weigh for the both us. Fast forward. Say hello to our first breakfast date. Felt nervous and bothered as i walked towards you cos i was from-night-duty feels; oily face, sleepy head, asim smell baka maoff ka hahaha. I don’t even know how to start the conversation that time cos sobra ako nahihiya sayo:( but destiny’s so good and fine that even silence was a happy moment too. What a beautiful way to start the day, just plain breakfast meal at jollibee, having a good get-to-know-talk with you, am i daydreaming cos i’m with coolest intern that day. And thank you sa paghatid kahit idinaan kita sa long way and rough road. ;) Fast forward 2x. Make up days were hard for you. It consumed you not only physical but emotionally drained. And i hope I come up with u in some ways to lessen the stress u felt. Seeing you in the same place kung asan din ako, made me feel the “so close yet so far” moment of my life, it’s not easy to pretend like you’re just an intern when I totally wanted to hug and asked u if you’re still okay. Pretending that i don’t heard anything from interns when they involved you in their conversation especially when it comes to “kamusta kayo ni pat”, “yie, pat pala ha”, and i just felt the need of taking it away from my head. And when I totally knew that you’re just in chemistry section and i’m just 10 steps away from u and you’re there having a very fine conversation with badeth, made me feel jealous seriously. Yes, pretending was the hardest.

[happy2ndbebi]

MAY 4, 2019 Until cheese bread saves the day of canono. But i ended up again with a seenzoned from you! Didn’t you noticed that i was having a long replies and it means i want to talk to you that time, pero ang tipid mo magreply, so naisip ko na baka cheese bread lang talaga ang dahilan ng pagchat and nothing else than that hahaha. I’m crying :’(

[happy2ndbebi]

MAY 1, 2019 So i’m/you’re beyond thankful for this day happened that you’re still an intern of mine, and that you had a chance to greet me. Hahaha loljoke. I really had no intention when i mentioned you sa comment ni ela. I just woke up with a notification on my phone na grineet moko, and then the conversation start and ended up with a seenzoned from u, and how kapal u are to that point? Hehe. But today i’ll be honest sa lahat ng feelings ko i felt for the past few months for you. When we had this small talk right after the greeting, idk pero inaantay ko replies mo kahit it’s all about your ex, or whatsoever, i felt this slight kilig hahaha baby i’m shy for being too honest!!! Iaasar mo kasi ako nyan ih :( But seriously, i do! Well thanks for the day i was born that turned out to be another day to be special cos this was our first conversation that gave me more reasons to look forward on my life.