happydedew

[happydedew]

My life and inside my head is so messy right now...

Kemarin, out of nowhere tiba2 aku liat Dewa ngethread kayak gini...

Aku liat ini malem-malem. Pas aku belum bisa tidur...

Langsung aku screenshot dan aku minta putus...

Dia baru bales jam 3an, pas aku masih tidur. Dia blg dia ga main thread. Tapi aku mikirnya, ya itu cuma alesan dia aja karena udah ketangkep basah. Aku diemin dia, dia pun diem. Setelah dia blg dia ga main thread, dia ada chat atau tlp aku sama sekali....

Dia baru ada chat aku setelah aku kirim rekapan utangnya dia...itu pun dia cm bilang bakal segera ngelunasin. Pas aku kirim rekapan yang terbaru, baru dia ngejelasin kalau katanya IG-nya di hack segala rupa lah....

Tapi aku masih belum bisa percaya. Aku juga masih sakit hati karena dia ga ada kontak aku sama sekali. Dia ada ngomong and ngejelasin itu kalau aku ada chat dia. Tapi dia udah ga pernah ada ngechat aku duluan, nanya kabarku gimana. Wajar ga sih kalo aku sedih karena ini? Aku ngerasa aku ga dianggap di dlm hidupnya...Trus aku nemu tulisan ini

Rasanya tulisan ini pas banget nancep....

[happydedew]

Ini kenapa sih munculnya bisa pas gituuu 😭😭

“Allow yourself to mourn the loss of love, and heal from those wounds. Don’t run into the arms of another lover, you will not find peace there: you will only accumulate more to heal from.”

— Tara Rose

[happydedew]

After a long periodt, akhirnya aku menemukan orang baru yang enak buat diajak ngobrol. He helps me to reduce my negative otomatic thought. Some of my negative A.T. i dont know where lives will bring me. But enjoying this moment, lived with mindfull helps me to manage my expectation. Kembali mempraktekkan bahwa hidup ini perlu step by step. Semua ada prosesnya, enjoy your process, dan semua orang akan memberikan pelajaran tersendiri buat kamu Dew. Kalau dia udah beres berbagi ilmunya, akan datang masanya orang yang baru akan datang untuk berbagi ilmu yg lain atau menguji pengetahuanmu sebelumnya. No one knows mana yg bakal datang duluan. Thanks for this moment, i really grateful 🙏

[happydedew]

“If speaking kindly to plants can help them grow, just imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do.”

— unknown

[happydedew]

Outgroup (?)

Ketika melihat kalian berbahagia bukan aku tak bisa ikut berbahagia. Tapi aku merasa bahwa aku bukanlah bagian dari sekumpulan kalian yang tengah berbahagia. Rasanya malu aku belum bisa menjadi bagian dari kebahagiaan kalian. Sebelum aku merusak momen bahagia kalian, cukup aku menjaga diriku sendiri disini supaya aku bisa turut berbahagia untuk kalian . . . . . . . . . Dari jauh....

[happydedew]

31 januari

Hai! Selamat tanggal 31 januari yang entah keberapa kalinya ya. Semoga lo bahagia selalu dimana pun lo berada. Kesel sih gue masih inget aja ama tanggal ini. Tapi kekesalan gue yang dulu muncul dan lama gue pendam ternyata malah bikin urusan gue ga kelar ama elu. Sekarang gue sih udah bisa ketawa aja kalo inget dl gue sebego apa menghadapi elu. Hahahaha. Thanks ya lo udah pernah hadir di hidup gue and mengacaukan banyak hal. Yang pasti karena ada lo gue bisa jadi kayak sekarang :)

[happydedew]

Ada.

[happydedew]

Kadang hidup selucu itu ya Ketika lo lagi semangat untuk berlari kehidupan memberi lo kesempatan untuk mengerem... Ketika kehidupan menyuruh lo untuk berlari Lo bahkan ga sanggup untuk melangkahkan kaki saja Itulah cari hidup mengajarkan lo buat sabar dan berjuang :)

[happydedew]

If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites​​​.

[happydedew]

If you really want to live your life to the fullest and realize your greatest potential, you must be willing to run the risk of making some people mad. People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are.

Iyanla Vanzant (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

Pas banget lagi mikir yang kayak gini postingan ini muncul.....huft

[happydedew]

The quieter we are, the more we observe

I’ve always been quiet. I’ve always been an introvert. I think these qualities made me a good observer.

During conversations I only talk when I have something to say, I’m not a fan of small talk. This means that I spend a lot of time watching how people express themselves, observing their attitude. I know when they’re excited to talk to me, I know if a conversation is not gonna last long because they wanna leave asap even if they don’t say anything about it. Over the years, I started seing the same patterns in different people, and I put the people that acted quite similarly in the same “mental bag”. (Of course, words were also an important factor.) This way I know who I can trust to keep a precious secret or who not to ask if I want a sincere answer. 

This procedure is the only exception to the “don’t judge a book by its cover” rule I allow myself. I wonder if other people do something like this too.

[happydedew]

7 Powerful Steps to Positive Thinking

1. Seek to focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want: A mistake we tend to make when we’re faced with a problem is to think and talk about it all the time - instead of focusing our thinking on what we want instead.

2. Recognise that every problem comes with a lesson: There’s a lesson to be learned from all that happens to us. We can become a better person - even when things have gone wrong.

3. Don’t believe everything you think: Our problems aren’t as big as the mind tries to convince us. Don’t believe all those negative and self-defeating thoughts.

4. Choose to be grateful in everything: Although it’s hard to be grateful when things are going wrong, we can usually find something we can be grateful for - and the more we choose gratitude, the happier we’ll feel.

5. Let go of your need for perfection: If you try to be perfect in everything you do, you will always feel you’re failing, and you’ll live with constant stress. Do you best – as perfection’s not a realistic goal.

6. Let go of your resistance: Accept things as they are - you don’t always have to change them. Life’s not meant to be a struggle, or a constant battle ground.

7. Seek to be present in everything you do: When you give yourself completely to living in the moment, you’ll find that life is easier - and you’ll feel much more relaxed.

[happydedew]

There are no normal people, there are just different kinds of weird.

Dan Harmon (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[happydedew]

Proses mengumpulkan alibi

Tadi sore saya sudah memiliki janji dengan arina untuk pergi membeli beberapa barang di dekat kosannya. Kami janji bertemu jam 4. Hanya saja karena pekerjaan saya belum beres saya baru jalan dari kosan jam 4 lewat 15. Sebelum bertemu saya sudah berpikiran untuk mengambil uang dulu d atm dekat kosan. Cerita bermulai dari sini. Di atm bank yg saya gunakan ada perempuan atau ibu2 yg masih berdiri di depan atm tp tidak menggunakan atmnya. Maka saya pun berdiri di belakangnya sambil mengambil atm di dompet saya. Setelah saya memegang kartu atm saya ternyata wanita itu sudah menggeser posisinya sehingga saya bisa menggunakannya. Baru saya maju 1 langkah, tiba2 bapak yg sedang antri di atm bank lain yg ada di sebelah saya bertanya, "Dik pakai atmnya sampai limit ga? Boleh saya ikut transfer ke anak saya, banknya sama mandiri juga, nanti saya bayar tunai." Saya sempat berpikir, "Waduh kayak modus2 kejahatan yang pernah saya baca nih." Kemudian bapak itu melanjutkan, "200 ribu saja dek, ini saya bayar tunai", sambil memegang uangnya. Tiba2 pikiran itu hilang semua. Yang saya ingat tadi saya hanya berpikir, "ah hanya 200 ribu saja, ya udahlah gapapa. Jadi saya tidak perlu mengambil uang lg." Akhirnya saya mau membantu bapak itu dengan menrasferkan uangnya lewat rekening saya. Ketika diminta menyebutkan no.rek yg dituju bapak itu berkomentar, "bentar bentar saya ingat", tapi sambil membuka kacamata dan membaca catatan no.rek-nya. Setelah dia sebutkan, muncul nama orang di rekening seberang adalah susanti. Bapak itu pun memastikan, "Atas nama susanti ya dek? Ah iya." Setelah dia memastikan namanya sesuai, maka dia pun memberikan uang tunainya kepada saya, kemudian dia meminta struk tanda bukti bayarnya. Setelah itu saya pun buru-buru keluar dari sana karena saya takut membuat teman saya lama menunggu. Setelah itu baru saya mulai dihinggapi rasa panik, "Kenapa tadi aku mau ya? Kenapa tadi aku ga pura-pura bohong aja ya? Duh nanti kalo ada kenapa2 gimana ya? Kalo bermasalah gimana ya?" Berbagai macam pikiran muncul di depan mata saya *sepertinya*. Segala ketakutan akan kesulitan yg mungkin datang di kemudian hari karena keputusan saya barusan. Kalo bapaknya bener mah gapapa kok aku ikhlas bantunya. Tapi jaman sekarang itu kadang yang baik sama yang engga ga keliatan perbedaannya. Hingga akhirnya saya menuliskan ini semua sebagai usaha saya untuk tidak melupakan kejadian ini, serta untuk mengurangi rasa cemas saya karena takut kedepannya muncul masalah akibat keputusan saya barusan. Saya mohon doanya mudah2an bapak itu benar2 membutuhkan bantuan untuk segera mengirimkan biaya kepada anaknya. Dan kejadian ini tidak berbuntut panjang....Bismillah

[happydedew]

24

Hai 24! Kenapa kemarin kamu berat sekali kulalui? Baru kali ini aku mengalami masa-masa segelap tahun lalu…. Pernah kau merasa kau tak kenal lagi dirimu? pernah kau merasa kau tak punya kuasa atas dirimu? Pernah kau merasa bahwa dirimu adalah hal paling menjijikan yang tak ingin kau lihat? Ku terdiam…. Ku tak mengerti mengapa semua itu sampai pernah aku alami… Apa yang terjadi? Aku sama sekali tak mengenal diriku. Aku tak bisa mengontrol diriku sendiri. Hingga aku membenci dan merasa jijik dengan diriku sendiri. Tapi ya mungkin itu yang namanya proses. Itu semua memang harus dilewati….kamu bukanlah superhero yang bisa memilih dan menentukan kamu mau langsung hasil yang seperti apa. Untuk mencapai kesana memang proses ini harus dijalani. Dan untuk rodaku jalan itu ada diusia kemarin.

Aku tak tahu rodaku akan melewati jalan yang mana di usia berikutnya. Bahkan pada 23 aku sendiri tak menyangka 24ku akan seperti itu. Bahkan hingga detik-detik 24 ini akan usai aku masih tak percaya aku sudah melewati jalan berlumpur dan menjijikan tersebut diusia kemarin. Semoga di 25 jalan yang dilalui lebih baik dan aku pun menjadi manusia yang lebih baik juga amin 🙇🙇🙇

[happydedew]

8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

1.  Pain is part of growing.

Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward. And that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you. Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there. Good things take time. Stay patient and stay positive.  Everything is going to come together; maybe not immediately, but eventually.

Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.

2.  Everything in life is temporary.

Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal.  After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever. It won’t. Nothing lasts forever.

So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile.  Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best of it. 

3.  Worrying and complaining changes nothing.

Those who complain the most, accomplish the least. It’s always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. It’s not over if you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing but complain about it. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don’t let the shadows of the past darken the doorstep of your future. Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter.  Take action instead. Let what you’ve learned improve how you live.  Make a change and never look back.

And regardless of what happens in the long run, remember that true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.

4.  Your scars are symbols of your strength.

Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo of a triumph to be proud of. Don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage. Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear. You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you see them. You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength and not pain.

Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth. Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most powerful characters in this great world are seared with scars. See your scars as a sign of “YES! I MADE IT! I survived and I have my scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to grow even stronger.”

5.  Every little struggle is a step forward.

In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way.  Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. This could mean losing stability and comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion. It could mean not eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end. It could mean stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills. It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar. It could mean accepting ridicule from your peers. It could mean lots of time alone in solitude. Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible. It gives you the space you need. Everything else is a test of your determination, of how much you really want it.

And if you want it, you’ll do it, despite failure and rejection and the odds.  And every step will feel better than anything else you can imagine. You will realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path. And it’s worth it. So if you’re going to try, go all the way.  There’s no better feeling in the world… there’s no better feeling than knowing what it means to be ALIVE. 

6.  Other people’s negativity is not your problem.

Be positive when negativity surrounds you. Smile when others try to bring you down. It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus. When other people treat you poorly, keep being you. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are. You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of them.

Above all, don’t ever change just to impress someone who says you’re not good enough. Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future. People are going to talk regardless of what you do or how well you do it. So worry about yourself before you worry about what others think. If you believe strongly in something, don’t be afraid to fight for it. Great strength comes from overcoming what others think is impossible.

All jokes aside, your life only comes around once. This is IT. So do what makes you happy and be with whoever makes you smile, often.

7.  What’s meant to be will eventually, BE.

True strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You can’t force things to happen. You can only drive yourself crazy trying. At some point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.

In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience. It’s a long-term journey. You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way. Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be.

8.  The best thing you can do is to keep going.

Don’t be afraid to get back up. Don’t be afraid to love again. Don’t let the cracks in your heart turn to hardened scar tissue. Find the strength to laugh every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful. Find it in your heart to make others smile too. Remember that you don’t need many people in your life, just a few great ones, so don’t lower yourself to have more ‘friends.’ Be strong when things get tough. Remember that the universe is always doing what’s right. Recognize when you’re wrong and learn from it. Don’t hold on too tightly. Always look back and see how much you’ve grown, and be proud of yourself. Don’t change for anyone, unless you want to. Give more. Give the things you love so others can love them too. Write stories. Take photos. Remember the little moments and the way your loved ones look at you.

Source

[happydedew]

Sekarang aku bisa merasakan betapa sulitnya meninggalkan kita dimasa lalu kemudian berubah menjadi diri kita yang sekarang dan menjadi lebih baik. Betapa sulitnya memaafkan apa yang sudah terjadi pada diri kita dengan ikhlas dan menerima semuanya tanpa ada disisa. Hanya manusia biasa yang semakin menyadari bahwa perubahan bukanlah suatu hal yang mudah. Tetapi aku menyadari bahwa hal yang sulit bukan berarti tidak mungkin. Hanya memang satu langkah yang kita ambil mungkin lebih pendek daripada langkah orang lain. Tapi apakah penting membandingkan langkah kita dengan orang lain? :)