happysami

[happysami]

My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch

[happysami]

Pride & Prejudice dir. Joe Wright | 2005

[happysami]

a child came into the nature center and saw tadpoles for the first time and when i told him they're baby frogs he thought i was lying and i suddenly realized that if you're 3 and don't know that tadpoles become frogs it does sound pretty fake. this kid will not fall for made up shit online he is a born skeptic.

[happysami]

This is a very good point

[happysami]

[happysami]

Sometimes when I’m down, I remember that scene at a convention when Leonard Nimoy and De Kelley are reading fanfiction to the audience, and they pause at a scene to remember the destroyed Enterprise and place their hands over their hearts

and De does a double-take, skips over to Nimoy, and fixes his hand so it’s on his lower ribcage, where the vulcan heart actually is, and then goes back to his spot and remarks something like “I should know I’m his doctor” and continues on.

[happysami]

[happysami]

I've been realizing how much my conception of various personal relationships and certain types of boundaries are determined by other people, not in the sense that I don't know what I am or want, but in the sense of "you are using a scale/categorization schema that I'm very disconnected from, so I feel how I feel and you get to put me wherever is most comfortable for you."

Like, is this relationship platonic or romantic? It's not really a meaningful distinction for me, but it's usually a VERY important distinction for other people, so they get to make the call. (My first marriage was romantic and my second is platonic and the love feels exactly the same to me)

It's similar when it comes to physical affection. I don't want sex, but if you take that off the table (and start viewing other acts of physical intimacy on their own terms instead of as stepping stones with an end goal of sex) I'm pretty indiscriminate and other people probably have a much stronger personal sense of what is desired/appropriate than I do. Nothing feels especially marked or hierarchical to me, but I still have to navigate that some things are much more societally loaded than others. Really I just want to live in a fantasy setting where I can soulbond with all my best friends but sadly that isn't an option irl so the closest substitute is as much physical affection as possible of whatever kind people are happy to give me.

Honestly gender is kind of the same: my internal sense of gender is "null," but I'm going to get gendered by existing in the world and that doesn't really bother me (my experiences are not universal and this bothers some agender people a great deal, obviously), but it's something that people do for their own comfort & understanding rather than reflecting any kind of meaningful truth.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but like. It's interesting. For a while I was very hung up on the idea that if a category or feeling was real/important to other people I had to figure out some way to make it real for me as well, and I'm glad I've chilled out and stopped tying myself into knots about it. And simultaneously, sometimes when you hit a point of "this isn't real to me" it can be tempting to swerve into "this isn't real, full stop" which is also not great because other people's experiences are important too. You gotta be dialectical about it, I guess. Sometimes a concept is real when someone you care about needs it to be and otherwise it isn't, and that's fine.

[happysami]

merlin has more strength than me bc if I heard uther pendragon bitch and moan about how magic only brings harm after I just saved his sons life for the ten billionth time that year with my magic and almost died yet again, I fear id accidentally turn him into a log

[happysami]

the more things change the more they stay the same

[happysami]

[happysami]

I’m not gonna pretend to be normal about this. 👀💦

Going through some mental health fun so here’s my coping mechanism bc this blog is my sketchbook.

[happysami]

[happysami]

“Women don’t have rights in Iran, they are homophobic in Iran!”

A black woman’s dying body was used to incubate a fetus because the state said so and the Supreme Court, regurgitating debunked talking points, ruled that trans kids could be denied gender affirming care that is proven to save lives. Does that justify a foreign power bombing New Jersey indiscriminately? Like some of y’all don’t give a fuck about LGBTQ Iranians or women in that country because I never saw a people get free through just having their shit blown up

[happysami]

Forest days🌳🌳🌳

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photoshop

[happysami]

Yoshinori Mitzutani, Birds