hapticthing

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for some reason when i listen to american idiot i picture the lucky star dance, so i bring you faggot america friday

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hate when someone asks how are you and you say good how are you and they say "oh not so great" or something. it's always like ohh okay i see we're being honest i thought we were playing pretend. can i have a do-over

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Yesterday there was a massive spider in my tub, so I got a napkin to kill it (time-sensitive spider). I crushed it, then lifted the napkin to see a completely unharmed spider. so I did it again, and once again, the spider was perfectly unharmed. I started to panic, this had never happened to me before. So I started pummeling him. I just kept pummeling and pummeling, bashing and bashing. I was actually punching him, no other word for it. I reared my fist to see a half-living spider. Still this fucker was alive. One more set of pummels, pummels fit for a man, and then, finally, he was gone. But god, what a life he lived.

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found a dude who does VR cruisin and boozin and im IN LOVE

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want to be clear that if i ever talk about a headcanon and then later discuss a headcanon that is directly contradictory to the first one, that��s because headcanons exist in a quantum state where they are all simultaneously true and not true up until the point where i discuss it in detail, in which case that is the one that is true in that instance. schroedinger’s headcanons

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Why is this the funniest DM I've ever gotten ?

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saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

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"blowing [someone's] brains out" sounds like it should be a sex thing tbh. missed opportunity.

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finally have the turnaround of this! my first 3D model where i got to do my own thing and figure out stuff on my own. still super stoked to have gotten do a model of my fursona for my 3D final

[video description: a turnaround of a 3D model of a fictional dragon-like animal. it has brown fur with green eyes, and bat-like ears with fangs to match. it is laying on a fallen log with both arms draped across it and one leg hanging off. its right eye is closed due to it laying its head on one of its arms, with its left eye open and looking at the viewer. it is sticking out its green split tongue. end description]

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this motherfucker actually just tweeted this in the middle of his own championship match at wrestlemania

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Please keep work place safety in mind at all times

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i love the phrase "which could mean nothing" i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.