harmoniclesbian

[harmoniclesbian]

i'm trying to flirt with this noblewoman but she keeps asking me to demonstrate my flawless sword technique and i don't think she realizes how much effort i'm putting in to make my tits bounce while doing so

[harmoniclesbian]

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

[harmoniclesbian]

because it is only one little cubie

[harmoniclesbian]

by johns_plant_adventures

[harmoniclesbian]

over on twitter they’re currently having lesbian discourse about whether or not femmes can wear packers but i haven’t been able to participate in the discourse because every time my brain conceptualizes femmes wearing packers i immediately get lightheaded and pass out from all the blood rushing to my

[harmoniclesbian]

[harmoniclesbian]

you can’t just go back and like this way after liking all the other comments. you can’t do that. that’s sick you’re sick you’re twisted

[harmoniclesbian]

you Applied to 200 jobs and are still unemployed . hope u dont mind we Leak ur data. and no, we will Not be calling back

[harmoniclesbian]

vinny is an ipad baby but for like cups

[harmoniclesbian]

now feels like a good time to reiterate that Iranians have been martyred by america + israel already, both empires that possess nuclear weapons, and that Iran does not have nuclear weapons. so now is not the time to joke about america getting nuked-- any retaliation on Iran's part is justified and the only way we escape this situation, but Iran is not going to nuke us, because the entire premise that Iran has nukes is how america justified bombing them and also the exact same rhetoric we used against Iraq and how we killed my countrysmen when there was again no evidence of nuclear warfare. New York City is not going to get fucking nuked. go listen to a podcast or something

[harmoniclesbian]

guys. i really like you. it's nice to be on this dashboard together

[harmoniclesbian]

blood o’ eden

[harmoniclesbian]

Lets go All Over The Fucking Place with mama

[harmoniclesbian]

gossip rag

[harmoniclesbian]

[harmoniclesbian]

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, there will be a tree outside your bedroom window. It is very important to romanticize this tree as much as possible.

[harmoniclesbian]

When you’re in an egg-and-spoon race and you gotta check that the little mf didn’t fall off the spoon