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WHY?!

I do what I do because I love it. I wouldn’t want to do anything else, I want to animate, draw and make my own worlds, characters, monsters, art styles and explore as many ideas as the time in this place allows me. I just love coming up with ideas and making them come to life. It feels magical and I’m not a spiritual person but an immense sense of clarity comes from just “creating”. It’s almost meditative. 

As for a career path, I kind of envisioned being an art director. I mean, I love making things, drawing and animating and exploring all the concepts and ideas. I run out of limbs and time to do them myself. I also lack the proper understanding of the industry, I also always feel that in the back of my mind I’ll be happiest making the stuff that I love. Which is why I came to college in the first place. I wanted to make what I wanted and develop a single style and brand of content that people would love and buy. Now I’ve learned about all this amazing stuff and I don't have a style anymore and I’m lost as to what to do.

I think I would. I would take my WHY, the feeling of wanting to make my worlds and monsters and everything I can come up with and put it out there. My WHY and own brand of creativity would hopefully draw people in. If someone wants to buy a piece of them then they can. I’d have an instagram and twitter page, I’d sell merch and comic books and work on animations for a game with my friend and give tattoos.

 I'd do that until I died with a big stupid grin on my face.

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Session 6 - Summary

The golden circle being a pillar of order in nature. It explains the random occurrences and why we do what we do. We just need to ask why 

It was interesting to hear this and the small philosophy of the what’s, hows and most importantly, why?

Especially in relation to the story of Apple's success. Along the explanation it’s all laid out so clearly how important and powerful it is to know the purpose for your being/doing. 

Powerful as a way of drawing people to you and as well as for your own driving force. Definitely a key component for success as stated in the reading. 

It’s incredibly inspiring when someone has that sense of purpose and being, that they exude some quality that we want to know and be a part of. It definitely establishes a level of confidence within yourself, which I’m sure is the aim of this reading. To show the merits of knowing your own WHY, whether it’s starting your own multi-million dollar company or putting your shoes on in the morning.

As for Apple itself I’ve never been an eccentric fan but they produce that energy of being more than just a tech company. They are a lifestyle or seem to breathe a consistent force throughout all their actions as a company. It’s easy to see why fierce loyal fans exist to companies like this, they’re the same as those people who are the definite main characters of their own life and live it as such. You want to know more about them and you are slightly drawn to them because of it.

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My brother’s in London wanted to make a mobster themed pizza delivery company during their lockdown from their apartment and needed design done.

This was a rejected logo concept but I thought it was pretty neat :)

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To intern or not to intern

I would definitely freelance. I like the idea of having my own practice and space where I work from and can bounce between different projects. Have time for my own side things, manage myself and feel more afloat. I’m sure ein reality it’s deathly stressful but it won’t be without it’s benefits. I also think I’ll meet more people and have chances for much more exciting opportunities. Yes, I’d definitely like. That being said I plan on spending years working for a studio. Learn as much as possible, meet people and establish a good knowledge of the industry.

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Session 5 - Summary

It makes me not as nervous as I thought. I don’t really know how I come off to people but if I had to guess, it would not be the business type, rather the creative. I can handle and realise these are all necessary. It’s sad to hear I don’t actually own my creations, though this is still a job and I’m making something in exchange for money. It’s childish to have all these lofty ideals about sealing a small piece of your soul with a gentle kiss on whatever it is you have “created” and birthed into the world. You pay taxes and do this for money and then you don’t die. The only fear is not adhering to these requirements but they seem quite hard to muck up. If anything it’s almost reassuring to see this all written down in stone, I like it more than I thought I would.

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A lil’ character of the Tiger King, Joe exotic

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Session 4 - Summary

This reading really did change my opinion on how to view networking and making connections. I knew and understood the importance but always saw it as an empty exercise that is only done for self-gain. I have my reason’s for thinking this, namely that in the past when I did attempt to jump into these cirlces I felt casted aside and ignored because I did not fit the criteria of what they deemed successful or worthy of getting to know. In hindsight, I can see that those were probably just shitty people and were not the people I even intended to become friends with. It also could have been me projecting my own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy.

I clouded the concept of networking with associations to the world of business. Cold-blooded reptiles in suits trying to insidiously charm and gain favour of their higher ups.    

Networking can be noble though, I genuinely have people I respect, admire and would love to get to know based soley off of what work they’ve produced and how far they’ve gotten in the industry. I’m not a reptile and my feelings of admiration of genuine, it’s nice getting to know people you admire and talking with others who can relate to your passion. It’s merely an added bonus that my relationship with them could aid my career. I should make a more conscious effort, even dare to be more forward with these people. I don’t have much to lose and everthing to gain from at least attempting to enter this world.

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Job Applications

https://ifyoucouldjobs.com/job/hf16clm9n

Spark studios seems very appealing, based in East London near where my brother’s live. I looked for jobs specifically based in England, or more specifcally London. At the moment my family has been pushing me too move up there with them and apply for a British passport. It seems like a comfortable business to start at and launch myself. At least aquire some experience in an emviroment that I’m comfortable with. The intimadating thing, as with most of these jobs I’m going to list is the idea of moving away from Cape Town and everything I know. It’s only applicable to my career because of the location and is a suitable launching pad but I’d need to know the salary and more specifcally the responsibilities.

https://ifyoucouldjobs.com/job/hf16clm9n

This one is only appealing to me because of the starting salary. One of my biggest ambitions right now is to land on my feet as soon as I leave college and not have to rely on my mum to support me anymore. Also the salary scares me, the pressure of seeing a large amount of money (to me) is what responsibilites and things are required of me to be worthy of it.  How much would I need to be involved with web development stuff. I am not so well aquainted with it but it always struck me as something very essential to know, especially to a designer these days. It does not unfortunatley relate so much to my career but I envision myself being able to freelance and makes I love independantly, so any know how of industry and various essential tools are valuable to me at this point.

https://ifyoucouldjobs.com/job/hf14vm5am

I would love to apply to this one right now!! They’re perfect, the informal tone, the varied mediums and exploration. Also how they offer to teach me even more! I’d apply in a heartbeat. Not much about this one intimidates me, even if there is a slight anxious feeling it’s most likely the good kind. I would like to know what they mean by stepping into a wider creative team down the line. It does sound amibious but also makes me curious and excited. I love animation and exploring new things. Being versatile is probably my strongest attribute, being in an enviroment that sounds as exciting as this will help me grow into the kind of designer I forsee myself being.

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Session 3 - Summary

Time-management is a huge problem for me and it’s amazing to hear so much honesty and being able to relate over the subject. The perception of time really stunned me, it was so simple yet I never understood why I could start and finish a drawing in one hour yet spend 2 

doing a reading for CS. There are boring parts for the design, the technical stuff, the research or the presentation. I can’t stand them and it shows in how much time I spend on them. Suddenly I want to play guitar, or I need to find that new album to play in the background. Almost always leaving these parts for the end of my night. Instead of burning the midnight oil and finishing them I return in the morning and begin my entire routine of sorting playlists, playing with my cat or playing a game to “warm up my brain”.

Also, I appreciated the honesty when they admitted that not all energy is spent designing in our allocations of time. It is not a thick block of hour’s progress. It’s filled with needless intermittent habits like me responding to whatsapps, cigarette breaks or getting lost in my research. 

This is not to say that I think these are healthy or essential, what helps is my acknowledgment of them helps cease their occurrences.

The stuff on research I was not so gripped by. I understand it’s importance but since I first started college it’s been drilled into our skulls to research our concepts, clients and everything in the peripherals and things unrelated. It’s very important but like they said themselves, an older generation of designers were not attracted to this practice.

Strategy was very interesting, I never thought of adding extra weight and substance behind whatever concept I supplied. Then again maybe I have never had to task of designing something that required this kind of thinking? I will try to adhere to their advice and apply the process when I can.

The rest of the reading really spoke of important attributes one has to attain through experience.  Most of which I can say I’ve experienced myself. Through group projects and seeing what people lack and try to improve on compared to those who have writing skills, or can hold a great presentation. I always look to these people for inspiration and try to learn from them.

Carlos is a good example, I never paid attention to philosophy or theory, books, movies or music before. Just existing around him I’ve steered myself towards a genuine appreciation for these things. Not from copying him but through my own practice, experience and exposing myself. 

Much like how we learn any of these skills.

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Session 2- Summary

An interesting take on perfectionism. Something that definitely plagues the mind’s of creatives and functions as their drive. I always thought having lofty goals was a good thing,but here they describe perfectionism in a different light as an incentive to not fail or fall short before this ordained level. 

When I first started reading I was thinking to myself that perfection definitely isn't a place that actually exists. It’s only the carrot on the stick, the real growth and pleasure is in the mad scramble to achieve it. 

Something the reading did point out was that perfectionism implies a limit. Without realising it we limit our comprehension of what’s possible, and that’s terrible! 

I saw perfectionism as the moon and we would dare to fail. I knew that what was really important was the chase, but what place you aim for should be removed

Focus wholey on the hemorrhaging of your mind, body and spirit.

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Session 1 - Summary

It seems that the idea of a career path has long died. 

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”, isn’t what you should ask your kid.

What makes you succeed is not choosing to aim for the most impressive sounding title in the company. 

It’s passion, flexibility and ingenuity. That extra level of commitment to their role that allows them to wade into an unknown future and risk without worry because no one has a set career path in life anymore. There is no longer a point by point journey through life that leads from school, to university and then a career.

We shouldn’t even be satisfied if this mollycoddling, cookie-cutter career path does present itself.

It’s better to have a mission, or a passion that lies outside of that world that you pursue.

I do not think it’s wrong to say that you’ll be successful if you find your passion and apply yourself to it. Just to make you that person who says “yes” 10% of the time more, works their hardest to have that slight chance of maybe having the opportunity to possibly of having a chance. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

There are other things, but they are all attributes we’ve heard over and over. Critical thinking, emotional intelligence, initiative etc. I don't speak about them in this way because they’re not important. Achieving is so much more possible through having this passion, readiness and tenacity. 

Yet I don’t know anything and all I’m saying here is based on what I’ve seen and heard so far in only 2 years. I will say though, that the only times I’ve pushed myself to learn the most about something and take it as far as possible and go outside of my comfort zone, was when I was truly passionate about something and could not hold myself back. 

This is college though and not the real world, but that felt like success to me, and I want to always have that feeling.

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Practice Openess

I’ve noticed very recently how much I overthink against the world. Pretty much shooting myself in the foot over every off handed comment or action of a person who wasn’t thinking. 

This is the root cause of my ‘closedness’. I shrivel inside and beat myself up or immediatley become hostile and defensive even though nothing has even taken place yet. Any opportunity that could have developed is shot down.  Collaborations or groupwork becomes unnecessary stressful and feels more demanding than it actually is.

I have to make a practice and habit of dismissing those thoughts until it becomes an easy instantaneous reflex. 

The first step started with me talking out loud and describing my thoughts to somebody else. Just hearing myself describe these thoughts and reactions made me realise the potential harm they can cause. I think this has helped the most but I do not always have another person by my side and I should just be able to cope with this independantly. 

I want to start having control of my self-worth. This can be done by reminding myself of what achievements I have thus far in life and mentally take note of each one. That there is no reason I have suddenly become a different human being. 

I’ll try to do this mentally every time these feelings arise and train myself on the go to be more postive in general.

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Professionalism???

Admittedly, I had to look up the proper meaning of professionalism after the exercise on monday. I honestly didn’t understand the term, leaving me unable to say on what level I possessed the quality. Vaguely I understood rofessionalism to be a manner of behaving. The way you treat, talk to and engage with people in a business setting. The opposite of immature, something that our schools were went to distill into us.

Even now when I'm on the brink of engaging with an industry and finding a job, I still lack the ability to properly recognize professionalism from the absence of it.

I went to go search for definitions and read articles describing what a professional is, so I could improve on my understanding and recognizing where I stood.

The following are some key attributes describing a professional I took note of.

They work diligently at their craft, and make a very conscious effort to keep up to date. Ensuring their work is the best it can possibly be. Also apply this level of effort within how they present themselves and deal with others. Withstanding angry or frustrated people, clients

or co-workers with a patient and well mannered demeanour and simply try to solve the issue. What goes hand in hand with this is emotional intelligence,

Which we covered thoroughly in previous business studies. A very important attribute to managing incidents with yourself and those around you.

They get the job done, stick to deadlines, someone you are able to depend on without thought. If something does go wrong, they will fix it and not waste time explaining why it happened. When things do go belly up and they know that they are responsible for their actions.

More attributes come up such as integrity, to never compromise someone's values, building the foundation for trust upon this. Also to be humble, pushing your limits and not being daunted by large projects can be a good thing but know that you run the risk of letting people down. This also applies to learning, if you don't know something or are capable of it on your own you should ask for help.

As I was jotting things down, I started to recognize where I had seen these attributes before. Every person I admire, who's further above me in the world. Those who I have worked with or are currently working with studios, freelancing and lecturers at my college. All harbour these skills and are people I aspire to become like.

I feel happy and reassured knowing that I'm on the right track. I don't have the confidence to say that I harbour all of these values that constitute a professional, but I can at least say that I have always recognized them as correct and more importantly harboured respect and admiration for those who do possess them.

With a more tangible comprehension of what makes a professional is.                  I have, hopefully, initiated the process of becoming one.

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BS220

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NVC

For the past week I tried to consciously use my words with myself and others. It especially pulled through during load shedding. My computer has an issue where if it turns off it cannot turn on again unless a technician sees it and the only one is a R100 uber away. If load shedding is to continue it will need new parts and it wil be much harder to do work. I was acting all according to my emtotions and talking to my mum about it. I realised how I was sounding and I was entirely a victim in this situation. It took a deep breath and a little think to put things in perspective. The power had gone off but not come on just yet, i didnt know if there would even still be an issue, I was talking to my mum who was just trying to help in a really toxic manner. There was no good or bad in the situation, it was frustrating but there is something that can be done so rather look for the solution instead of digging myself deeper into my emotions. Not swearing at eskom or my computer or complaining. They are not bad, neither is my computer. I convinced myself to spend the next 2 hours looking for solutions then continue with my work on my phone. The power came back on, so did my computer and I had avoided a lot.

In general communicating over the phone to people has become easier. I carefully think what I’m feeling and how to say it. I thought at first the whole thing seemed robotic but I actually sounded much more empathetic and caring and felt more at ease doing so.