has-snakes-for-arms - Tumblr blog

[has-snakes-for-arms]

Programming adventures

Well, just caused a massively cursed bug while interfacing between C++ and a scripting language, that involved accidentally deleting an entry in a global string literal table so that every time I used a particular word in my script it got replaced with the empty string without explanation.

I want to reaffirm that:

- I got it fixed and now everything's definitely fine.

- I have regret nothing, and no lessons have been learned from this experience.

Look, I'm aware that saying this kind of thing out loud would dramatically reduce my employability, and for pretty good reasons... but programming is genuinely less fun for me if you don't get to occasionally cause this kind of terrible bullshit.

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On perseverance

Also, while I'm here, I think there's a category of annoying thing where there's some way of solving a problem that someone's advocating, right? Like say, exercise for weight loss, or Duolingo to learn a language, or whatever.

And they'll say "Whenever it doesn't work, it's because the person gave up, not because the technique doesn't work."

And like... yeah! It's actually impossible to tell the difference between "The person gave up but if they'd continued they'd have gotten there" and "The person gave up because (for them) the technique didn't work". Crucially, "For some people it works, for others they give up" is exactly what it looks like when a technique works eventually 100% of the time, AND ALSO exactly what it looks like when a technique works for some people and not others. Because if something isn't working, eventually the person doing it will stop! If you can paint that as them giving up, then this method you believe is 100% effective will forever be bulletproof and undisprovable in your mind.

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On smart people

I don't actually know if anyone reads anything I write here, but on the off chance that someone does, this is something I'd welcome feedback on.

So, something I've come across a lot in my professional life is smart people who think there's no such thing as being smart (sometimes manifests as 'there's no such thing as talent, only hard work' in fields where 'talent' is what people say instead of 'smart'). I've got two things to say about this.

First off, why would anybody think this? It feels like all around us is abundant evidence to the contrary, and the weird thing is, the people I'm talking about don't seem to disagree, but they will kind of weasel out of acknowledging it head on. Like "Sure, some people will learn slower than others, but everyone can get there in the end, they just need to persevere." Even if that's true, isn't that a reasonable interpretation of 'people have varying levels of intelligence'? Also, this seems like a crock - why assume that everyone would get there with some undefined large amount of time, and if it takes someone decades to learn the basics of their field, that still cashes out to "they're not up to this and should choose a different field".

I should note that this isn't the same as 'g' (or IQ or whatever) - the idea that one central trait exists that covers most mental activities, such that someone being good at one thing tends to correlate with being good at most. The thing we're denying here is that anybody is intrinsically good or bad at any particular mental activity.

Second off, this belief often has a veneer of moral goodness about it. Like, if I suggest the contrary, people don't react as though I'm wrong first and foremost, they react as though I'm bad*. And, not to put too fine a point on it: no u. I get that it feels mean to tell someone "you're just intrinsically shit at this activity that you desperately want to succeed at - you should just give up". I also get that often saying that cruelly, or incorrectly, or prematurely, can have bad consequences. But ALSO, incorrectly telling someone the opposite can have bad consequences! Telling someone "Never give up, you can get there if you work hard enough" can frequently push people into going into debt for a doomed education, towards a career they'll never break into, etc (and don't get me started on educators that adopt this stance as though it's a social justice thing, while neglecting to mention how much money they make for every student they manage to sign up).

My current best guess about where this comes from is one of three things: - When someone is teetering on the brink of being smart enough to achieve a certain thing, encouraging them can make a big enough difference that they get it done. Maybe the breadth of the band I'm describing as 'the brink' here is actually most cases? That's not really a justification for the believe, but I'll concede it's a reasonable justification for professing the belief. - The general perception is that natural intelligence is overemphasised in whatever culture you're in, so you want to push back against that - it's about the direction of the belief more than the absolute position. - This one's a bit uncharitable, but... maybe it's so you can feel more virtuous about your own achievements? Like, similar to how someone with wealthy parents might prefer to think they got where they are due to hard work, so they invent a belief system that de-emphasises the impact of intergenerational wealth. "I'm a successful artist because I worked harder than those who failed at it" is probably a warmer feeling than "I'm talented, and while I worked to become successful, some others might have worked as hard or harder and failed simply by lacking what I was born with."

I dunno. It seems weird. Like, it's really obviously the case that people have inborn talents in other ways (being seven feet tall helps with basketball, for instance). It's actually a pretty important part of mental health discourse to acknowledge immutable disadvantages ("This person isn't being lazy, they have ADHD and are struggling to focus", "This person has trouble reading the room because they're autistic, it's not that they don't care about people's feelings", etc - taking something previously thought to be a personal failing and pointing out that it has a basis in physiology is a good thing!).

Also, while I'm at it: The people around me don't actually seem to behave as though they believe this. They'll still refer to people as being good at things or bad at things, call someone a dumbarse when they demonstrate a pattern of failing at mental tasks, etc. It's weird and I don't really get it.

*This isn't a pity post or anything - I'm not suggesting I've been persecuted for my beliefs here. It's just a surprising reaction to me.

[has-snakes-for-arms]

Last night I dreamt that that weird Marginalia search engine had a comments section. Dunno how that would work... I guess there was a set of comments that would go with a specific search term?

Anyway, Tumblr staff did some heinous thing that pissed off the userbase, and there was an exodus from Tumblr to the Marginalia search comment section. I distinctly remember the consensus was pretty positive towards our new home.

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Fuckin YES, finally vindication!

I was busy all day and now I’m super tired so I’m going to have to declare a discourse moratorium, sorry. until further notice everyone is right

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Nobody:

Not one person:

Not a single soul:

Me: This meme format is kind of a double negative - if nobody is saying nothing, it makes me think everyone's actually being really rowdy.

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Tumblr is so cool because on Facebook, I post some stupid crap and it gets seen by some family members, friends, colleagues, and other random real-life acquaintances. Whereas here, I post some stupid crap, and it gets seen by nobody. 100% preferable. What were they even thinking when thinking when they invented Facebook anyway?

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Keyboard cleaning

Just pulled apart my mechanical keyboard after the better part of a decade. Some observations:

1. Keyboards are disgusting.

2. I was expecting the inside of it to be pretty disgusting, and then afterward I cleaned it it would be clean. I think the cleanest I managed to get the inside is still grosser than what I initially expected it to be like before cleaning. But at least those are the bits you can't see when it's reassembled. I definitely improved the situation though, and will have to content myself with that.

3. It took ages. You go to all the effort of pulling the keycaps off and think 'shit this is going to take ages to put back together', but you forget that you also have to actually clean the keycaps. All in all probably took me like an hour and a half to two hours.

4. Typing on a keyboard when it doesn't have keycaps on (directly on the switches) isn't as good as you'd think, and you'd think it would be pretty shite. Even if you can touch type it still sucks massively. I had to try it, though. I had to know, and now I do.

5. Officially my keyboard manufacturer advises against removing the keycaps for longer keys like the space bar because they're stabilised with some wire mechanism, and if you yank the cap off it can break the mechanism. They reckon it's fine though because you can clean the keyboard without removing them. These two claims amount to no fewer than three lies. It's not true that they're hard to remove, nor is it true that you can clean the keyboard properly without removing them. The third lie is a lie of omission - it's a huge dick-pain to put the stabilised keys back on. A piece of dental floss is super helpful here because you can hook it through one end of the wire and pull to pry the wire thing open. If you try it you'll see what I mean.

6. A lot of people recommend having another keyboard handy in case something goes wrong, but I recommend the alternative of approach of not being such a coward.

7. My keyboard looks really clean now. But, I know the truth of its secret inner foulness.

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Just wanna say I love this trend of communicating seriousness in a situation by drawing the characters seriously (and cartoonishly otherwise). Especially because as far as I'm aware it's only ever used for comedic effect.

been watching breaking bad and the tension of unsatisfied white upper class suburban infighting is more nerve wracking than any meth lab shootout

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Tumblr addiction

Seems like I might be the only person on earth who has this perspective and will share it, so here it is. I got a tumblr account after years of half-heartedly reading people's blogs, because lots of the people I follow here seem genuinely interesting and worth interacting with. I'm actually really interested to know what the people here are like, and get a feel for the community, given you can only really do that so much when it comes to reading passively.

I've seen the sentiment expressed that most of what you read on the internet is written by crazy people. I find that a pretty unsympathetic sentiment, but there's a grain of truth to it I think - because the tendency to post lots of stuff on social media is probably an uncommon trait to have? It's hard to know because obviously you read lots of people talking about how much they post to social media, and just as obviously that's a non-representative sample. The thing that made me post this is seeing somebody post about being addicted to posting here, and how their productivity went up when they took a break. And like... I'm addicted to not posting here, and it's weird. After I hit 'post' on this thing, I'll feel productive - because my default evening behaviour would be coding, or playing a game, or watching a movie, or whatever. But instead I summoned all my chi/spoons/energy/whatever and actually wrote a thing on the internet. I guess if anyone ever reads this that means I did actually hit 'post', so I have that going for me?

I'm pretty commonly in this situation on social media, I find. I want to participate, but I just... can't be arsed, really. Laziness pushes me away from social media, not towards it. Or at least, not towards participating actively. What's up with that? Does that mean I'm normal? (NB I'm really not; everyone I know in person understands that I'm at least kind of weird)

Anyway look how productive I'm being here. Maybe I'll message someone or respond to something later but I've gotta pace myself.

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Looking for a way of expressing the sentiment towards internet strangers that I have sympathy for their situation because it seems like it's difficult and stressful, but I can't offer help, advice, or even understanding, only good thoughts. I suppose probably a sentiment left expressed in the form of vagueposting. But if anyone reads this, I hope your day gets better, regardless of how it was going before.

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For whatever it's worth as an (actual) internet stranger who is also about as far as one can get to being affected by anything that happens Ukraine... Nothing you've said here comes within a million miles of making you sound bad to me. But also, the tone of this post reminds me so thoroughly of how I feel any time some major controversy is brewing that involves a group I'm part of. It's hard to articulate, but I guess it's an overwhelming sense of "There's this big group of basically pleasant well-intentioned people who all got along fine yesterday, and somehow now they all hate each other, and it really doesn't feel like it makes sense." The usual explanation of "you thought they were pleasant and well-intentioned, and what you're experiencing is the process of learning that actually half of them were secretly massive dickheads" doesn't feel correct at all. Maybe this just reflects us both being filthy centrists/fence sitters, but if nothing else, I think there are usually more people in that category than it sometimes feels. Anyway, in a less abstract way, I appreciate your thoughts on this. I'm definitely feeling the media bubble on this issue.

I feel like I need to say something about Ukraine but I don't want to

i don't like talking about Ukraine for many reasons...

mostly because it makes me sad and angry and because I don't have a good opinion on what I want to see happen/what "should" happen

my personal biases:

I am 3/4 ethnically Russian, have Russian citizenship (dual with the US) and am currently living in Russia. I was in Kiev during the orange revolution, lived in Kiev for 3 years during that time and am ethically 1/4 Ukrainian. I lived between Houston and Moscow moving every couple of years since i was 7, I got educated in the US system/international schools and got my higher degrees in the US.

I do have family (my grandpa's sister and her family) in Ukraine nearish Donbass but on the Ukrainian side not where the the borders were established

The rhetoric around this conflict makes me feel incredibly isolated and condescended on (from both sides, Russian and US media alike, also Ukrainian media which I have made some attempts to access through my friends still living in Kiev).

I do think Ukrainian people are getting really really fucked.

the question is how fucked were they before? how fucked would they be without Russian intervention or "help"? how fucked will they be if Donbass is independent? basically "Russian"? or if Ukraine and it's allies push back and they stay with Ukraine?

I don't know.

NATO has always been something that is concerning/scary to Russian citizens this is not new at all and a fear I have grown up with (whether this is propoganda is i mean at least partially is obviously)

I'm really tired of the moralistic, condescending rhetoric

if I have any opinion that differs from the mainstream democratic one

I feel like either I am supportive of a insane, cruel, imperialistic, world-domination seeking man

or I am a sheep who has been brainwashed by years and years of propoganda and Putin and his misinformation campaign

if I have any opinion that differs from the mainstream patriotic one in russia

i am either supporting a greedy, imperialist, world-dominating nation (US)

or I am a sheep who has been brainwashed by the scary "liberals"

it feels like there is no space for the middle ground and my opinion is very tied to my morality and/or intelligence

this conflict is close to me personally and i just try to not read about it because while that may be ignorant I don't see how learning any more information is helpful

i can't personally help my extended family unless they want to evacuate and physically live with me

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Wouldn't it be better for almost everyone if you just sent that in word for word and then reported back with the results?

Doing my best to write an apology for submitting work late that doesn't sound like this

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Story time

A few years ago, I had to buy a fridge. My plan was to get public transport out to the fridge place (I was a student and lived pretty close to the middle of the city, and there weren't any fridge shops nearby), make the selection, then get it delivered.

I was standing at the tram stop, and it was a pretty nice day, but I noticed the sky was doing something weird. Namely, looking much more purple than I've ever seen it. This wasn't the height of summer but certainly not winter either, just a normal pleasantish day to be out and about in. I didn't think much of it, my tram arrived, and off we went.

I was standing, and I didn't have a terribly good view out of the windows (the top of the window was below my eye level so the angle wasn't great) but at a certain point, I noticed some of the people getting onto the train were kind of damp. At first, kind of, then with each successive stop, more and more solidly, approaching 'drenched'. Looking to the front of the tram, the windscreen wipers were in full swing and moving a lot of water out of the way. I sat down to get a better view and saw that so much rain was coming down that the gutters were starting to flood and water was across the road (this indicated a pretty dramatic deluge, given it had only been going on for a few minutes at this point). The tram driver didn't seem to care especially, just kept doing the thing, so I just shrugged and thought 'eh, guess I'm getting rained on today'.

Upon further contemplation though, and realised I could improve my short-term future a little bit. I bent down and starting untying my shoelaces. By the time I was actually taking my shoes off I was getting a few confused looks, and once my shoes and socks were off, quite a few more. I was rolling my pant legs up when suddenly the scepticism of my fellow tram-goers broke. Within moments, all around the tram people were taking their shoes and socks off. I felt like a leader.

Eventually I reached my stop, and carried my shoes and socks in hand as I walked barefoot through ankle-deep urban floodwaters, which in retrospect might not have been very health-and-safety-compliant behaviour. But, at least my shoes weren't entirely drenched. Although I definitely tracked a lot of water into the fridge shop, I'm pretty sure it was less than it would have been if I'd remained shod through the whole ordeal, and although I got some strange looks the salespeople maintained their professionalism and didn't mention my barefootedness.

Anyway I had to wait for two hours for the tram on the way home because apparently the floodwaters washed grit into the tracks and caused a derailment a little further up the line, so that was interesting. I've still got that fridge, too.

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Ahhhhh okay that makes sense - thanks for the info!

I understand why you'd use something different in actual practice, but for interviews/competitions why would you ever code in something other than Python (assuming you're graded on correctness + asymptotic runtime, not actual runtime)?

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I'm adding this to the pile for a bigarse "The games industry and other programming-centric industries have surprisingly little in common" post at some point.

I understand why you'd use something different in actual practice, but for interviews/competitions why would you ever code in something other than Python (assuming you're graded on correctness + asymptotic runtime, not actual runtime)?

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First thought is "the interviewer wants you to demonstrate a particular language proficiency". It's super weird and foreign to me that a code interview for a job would claim to be language-agnostic, much less actually be language-agnostic. If you're hiring someone to work on a C++ codebase and they don't at any stage demonstrate that they can write C++, how on earth would you know that they'll be able to do the job?

I understand why you'd use something different in actual practice, but for interviews/competitions why would you ever code in something other than Python (assuming you're graded on correctness + asymptotic runtime, not actual runtime)?