hategana

[hategana]

To everybody’s surprise, I am still alive. I haven’t yet abandoned ship, but life has a funny way of flipping things upside down, and in the madness that ensued these past couple of years (?) (because it has been years, no? Certainly more than one), I simply could not find the time to invest in my babies or their world.

I do plan on making a comeback, eventually. I am starting university, howerver, and as most know, uni simply doesn’t let you catch a break.  For all those still active, I would love to reconnect and have a catch-up. Stay safe, lovelies. Times are tough, but we are infinitely tougher.

[hategana]

uwu

im forever thankful for my angol @hategana​

[hategana]

i am still very much alive and very much in love with my babie. i’ve gotten a job, though, and am busy in this period trying to meet with all of my friends who came back home from uni, so i’ll be making a comeback later.

[hategana]

yeah, it’s hard getting back into the swing of things when your writing makes you wanna boop your own red deluxe clown nose.

[hategana]

perhaps, there is some type of order in this universe that would make some sense out of the absurd moments that make up your life. perhaps, there is some governing force, scorned by your existence, that pulls mercilessly and carelessly at the thin threads of your fortune.

or, perhaps, just perhaps, you are simply fucked; an explanation, no matter how eloquent, would only make things taste far more bitter than they should.

indie / multi-muse / multi-ship / selective / interconnected characters / horror-comedy

[hategana]

[hategana]

ofkingdomcomes‌ :

“it’s what i deserve, i’ve been working so hard.” dasom says with confidence, fully aware of what she’s been doing for the entire week before stepping out of the small room, the hallway of the hospital not as crowded as usual since it’s late. she finds her workplace peaceful at times like this, the world seemingly different, like nothing’s wrong.

as she walks she watches her steps, her white shoes not making any noise on the clean linoleum floor. she gave polite nods to her co-workers when she saw some of them, not getting strange looks upon seeing her companion. she leaves beziel in the lobby to go check on some patients, the hour ending quickly and before she knows it, she’s in the female employees’ bathroom, untying her hair from its tight bun and letting her locks down over her shoulders. she washes her hands and puts her hair tie around her right wrist before stepping out of the hallway, looking less put together.

she approaches beziel when she sees him, her backpack over her shoulders. she nods at his question. “yes, let’s go,” she tells him, moving her hand as she glances at the exit. she laughs at his words and his actions as she begins walking towards the exit with him, hands on the straps of her backpack even if it’s not going anywhere. “a proper meal,” she answers without thinking. “maybe even a full course meal. i’ve been living on instant noodles for a while now.” she shakes her head, laughing once again. “maybe something with pork or beef.” she groans.

❝ whatever the princess wants, the princess gets. ❞

there is little to be said about the late dinner they had at this expensive little restaurant beziel remembers eneal having some connections to — they ate, talked, laughed and enjoyed each other's company as much as they could. beziel had been worried all throughout the meal that dasom would suddenly fall asleep and hit her table against the table due to her exhaustion; admittedly, beziel might had exaggerated in his depiction of her as a walking corpse.

now, as they are walking back home, it is much later into the night than beziel would have wanted to, with considerably more to go till they are within safe distance from their building.

it's silent as they make their way back home, beziel whistling lowly as he looks ahead — the streets are empty, and his muscles are far too tense for this to be a good idea.

❝ hey, how about we — ❞

he's about to suggest they take a taxi, after all, head turned towards dasom, when he realises they stopped in front of a back-alley that is not as empty as the main road.

❝ fuck. ❞

the back-alley appears to be a path straight to the deepest abyss of hell, with no lighting to aid beziel in gauging the situation properly, or even try to identify the person standing motionless in the middle of it, staring them down with unnerving concentration.

despite all that, beziel is frighteningly sure that this time around, the prey came knocking at the predator's door, and that perhaps, beziel's initial understanding of the role he played in this dreadful game of tag, might have been erroneous from the get-go.

❝ dasom... ❞ beziel says in a low, quiet voice, eyes trained on the person concealed by the shadows. ❝ listen carefully to me — you must to do as i say, alright ? ❞

[hategana]

'i don't need a date, i need cash' beziel

the way things turned out for beziel this fine afternoon, is far from how he has envisioned them. he had wanted nothing more than to lounge around in goethe’s basement, enjoying to the fullest how cold the air is compared to the bothersome drought outside, and do nothing taxing, whether mentally or physically, until he was knocked out by sheer exhaustion.

clearly, that didn’t fucking happen.

clemente had done an awful job at explaining the situation thoroughly, or even barely, but she’s the cutest thing ever, and certainly the cutest out of this lot, so he can easily overlook this horrible habit of hers.

all beziel knows is that clement was out of breath, dragging a less than impressed jiyeon behind her, and that she unceremoniously forced her to plop down on the sofa opposite his with the promise that it won’t be long til she returns.

and so, here beziel is, utterly overwhelmed with the situation — if feels awfully like one of those cliche tv moments where an absent father attempts to rekindle whatever crumbs of a relationship he’s got left with his rebellious teenage daughter, and beziel honestly doesn’t feel all that prepared for this sort of commitment.

❝you ain’t got some sweetheart to leech free dinner from instead of being locked up in here with me ?❞ beziel eventually whines, the picture-perfect of a petulant child past his prime.

jiyeon is, genuinely, less annoying and invasive than he makes her out to be in his narration; it’s just that beziel simply has no clue as to how to interact with her in an organic way, as far away as possible from painting him out to be some pot-bellied creep trying to sweet talk a babe into hopping inside his van.

the few times their paths crossed, it was mandragora who took over the ship, whilst beziel was chilling in some far away corner if the dark, empty universe.

❝i don’t need a date, i need cash.❞

beziel blinks expressionless at her answer, first of all, because he hadn’t expected her to dignify him with any sort of answer. but he gets it, kind of, or at the very least, speculates he does.

jiyeon must be feeling just as uncomfortable and lost as he does being forced into a room with just him. so he sighs, relenting.

❝yeah, ditto.❞

beziel stands up, half-yawning as he begins putting on a show whilst stretching his muscles, going far and beyond the modest. at this point, it matters little.

❝say, how about you graverobbing with me, hmm ?❞

might have to dig his own grave in the meantime once clemente catches wind of just what beziel has been doing to entertain her most esteemed guest, but oh well.

[hategana]

support the author  /  feel free to change things  (  such as pronouns  )  as needed !

“ these are the empty pews ” “ it’s much too late to repent ” “ this is your unmarked grave ” “ what else is there to live for besides your one true love ? ” “ you never thought i needed protection ” “ did i ever even have a choice ? ” “ he told me i was an obligation ” “ you make me forget what it feels like to miss someone i was never allowed to call mine ” “ are you my antidote or my poison ? ” “ this story may be cliche  ,  but it’s ours ” “ is there really any way it can end other than in bloodshed ? ” “ i’ll lick your wounds and then you’ll do the same for me ” “ if you start to keep score  ,  can you still call it love ? ” “ brace for impact ” “ this girl right here is a fucking goner ” “ with you there is no faking it ” “ this boy  ,  he’ll be the death of me ” “ i was too young to realize you were the one that should have known better ” “ i never did have an ear for music ” “ when night falls  ,  my monster tells me he loves me ” “ you always did crave the taste of your own lies ” “ this love leaves bloodstains ” “ i’m so fucking sorry ” “ it was exhausting for both of us ” “ you are the bruises and teeth marks i find all over my body without remembering how they got there in the first place ” “ this isn’t a haunting  ;  it’s a hunting ” “ it’s probably a good thing that god forgives sinners like me ” “ i can’t tell the difference between you and the dead of winter ” “ at least winter makes way for spring ” “ i can’t decide who it is i’m more frightened of ” “ i would do just about anything to make her disappear ” “ if you’re looking for your perfect victim  ,  then you might as well set down your lanterns ” “ you won’t be able to find her here ” “ i’m the fairy tale everyone forgot about because the lesson wasn’t pure or hopeful enough ” “ i don’t excuse her and you shouldn’t either ” “ couldn’t you at least try to hide it ? ” “ i never knew you could grieve a breathing man ” “ nothing but a coffin in my ribcage ” “ you remind me of the way flowers bloom so furiously in spring ” “ are you breaking her like you broke me  ,  or am i just that special ? ” “ nothing makes sense with or without you ” “ my body didn’t know what it was like to survive without you ” “ you took things i didn’t know you could take ” “ it seems you never learn  ,  either ” “ either take everything i have or drop it all and walk away ” “ darling  ,  you are worthy ” “ you can do this  ,  you know ” “ let your heart take its time ” “ there’s someone else seeping in through the fractures you left ” “ if you’re never going to leave me  ,  then this is me leaving you ” “ find a new partner in crime ” “ someone i used to know told me that love was forever ” “ don’t try to waste your time again ” “ i’m sorry i didn’t know how to stop the pretending ” “ they didn’t deserve this ” “ some people are never worth your words ” “ come  ,  take back your hatred ” “ you can have my forgiveness but you can’t have me ”

[hategana]

perhaps, there is some type of order in this universe that would make some sense out of the absurd moments that make up your life. perhaps, there is some governing force, scorned by your existence, that pulls mercilessly and carelessly at the thin threads of your fortune.

or, perhaps, just perhaps, you are simply fucked; an explanation, no matter how eloquent, would only make things taste far more bitter than they should.

indie / multi-muse / multi-ship / selective / interconnected characters / horror-comedy

[hategana]

popular text posts + ask memes (part four)

❛ i don’t need a date, i need cash ❜ ❛ say something, i’m giving up on school ❜ ❛ my love is like a candle, if you forget about me, i will burn your fucking house down ❜ ❛ if i die, my funeral is going to be the biggest fucking party and you’re all invited ❜ ❛ i’m too young to have this many embarrassing moments ❜ ❛ i’m very strong, i could fight off maybe 20 snails. 21 on a good day. ❜ ❛ turn off: being more attractive than me ❜ ❛ drugs? no thanks. the only ‘high’ i need is the natural rush you get form committing a murder ❜ ❛ occupation: the family disappointment ❜ ❛ if you can’t beat them, dress better than them ❜ ❛ do you ever just realize that you’re not a good person? ❜ ❛ everything always happens so much ❜ ❛ listen, i did mean to make you upset and i do think your opinions are shit ❜ ❛ which is messier: my life or my hair? ❜ ❛ i’m tired 8 days a week ❜ ❛ i use humor to cover up the fact that i want to jump off a bridge ❜ ❛ let’s play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜ ❛ why am i awake? who summoned me? ❜ ❛ i just want good eyebrows and maybe a new face ❜ ❛ for someone who pretends to have no emotions whatsoever i’m really sensitive ❜ ❛ i haven’t made any bad decisions lately and i’m getting bored ❜ ❛ studies show that i am, in fact, in a perpetual state of given’ ‘em the old razzle dazzle ❜ ❛ i came out tonight to get attacked and honestly, i am having such a fun time right now ❜ ❛ is your heart supposed to pound for ten minutes straight after you answer one question in class?  ❜ ❛ no, you are not as funny as me. stop trying. ❜ ❛ it is very important that i am both cute and powerful ❜ ❛ how do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you? ❜ ❛ if i were a bird, you’d be the first person i’d shit on ❜ ❛ raise your hand if you’re a lil bit of an asshole ❜ ❛ i may be a shitty friend, but i’m your shitty friend ❜ ❛ my last word will probably be either ‘whoops’ or ‘shit’ ❜ ❛ pro tip: instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. everything is still horrible, but you will not care at all. ❜ ❛ i get butterflies thinking about myself ❜ ❛ i love you and i’m glad you exist. i’m so happy you’re alive. ❜ ❛ if you’re reading this, i’m beautiful ❜ ❛ your body is 60% water and i’m thirsty ❜ ❛ sorry, i wasn’t ignoring you. i was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show i found. ❜ ❛ how do you find a soulmate when you have no soul? ❜ ❛ is it rude to kill yourself in the middle of class? ❜ ❛ one of these days i’m going to roll my eyes so hard that i’m going to go blind ❜ ❛ i think my parents would yell at me if i died ❜ ❛ i’m having a great time this year. time passes irregularly and i’m disappointing my parents. ❜ ❛ be the villain you were born to be. stop waiting for someone to come along and corrupt you. succumb to the darkness yourself. ❜ ❛ i’m sick of the government reading but never liking my statuses ❜ ❛ my new year’s kiss is going to be a shot of vodka ❜ ❛ i feel so bad for my exes, like imagine losing me ❜ ❛ look, i’m a nice person, but i’m not here to take your shit ❜ ❛ is there an award for fucking up the most times? because if so, crown me the winner ❜ ❛ i’m always a slut for lying in bed for hours on end and doing nothing productive ❜ ❛ at least i can admit that i’m a piece of shit ❜ ❛ no offense, but i’m a blessing to this earth ❜ ❛ lets talk about the universe and make out ❜ ❛ how do people wake up in the morning feeling refreshed? ❜ ❛ are you a piece of art? because i’d like to nail you up against a wall ❜ ❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜ ❛ i doubt vodka is the answer, but it’s worth a shot ❜

[hategana]

it was a miscalculation on chat's part, to think that to a manageable degree, he would be able to take on one of his co-worker's listings for the day out of an act of altruism. he should've known, must’ve known deep down, that sketchy places can only attract sketchy people, no exceptions to the rule.

yet, despite being perfectly capable of employing hindsight to his benefit, here he is, miles away from any form of organized society, in the heart of a thick forest, showing a dilapidated wooden cabin with shittier prospects that it should be legal, to perhaps the most obnoxious person chat has ever had the misfortune of encountering.

one would expect his sister to be the one trapped in such a situation.

❝ not at all. we are talking about the amazing benefits of birch wood, after all. ❞ chat replies smiling tightly.

god, he should get a medal of honour for his impeccable customer services skills. shit.

           ❛  would you get too mad if i said what you’re saying is astonishingly boring ? talk about big YAWN energy. ❜

[hategana]

ofkingdomcomes‌ :

dasom couldn’t escape the laughter that escaped her lips at beziel’s words. sex is one of the things that she doesn’t think about often due to how exhausted she is from her job, the other is her dating life. it’s close to nonexistent and even though she’s not a virgin, she might as well be again from how long she’s last been with someone. she doesn’t need it, and would no doubt choose to sleep longer rather than a steamy night with someone. she doesn’t think about his words too much, chalking it up as his way of toying with her without ill intent.

“they wouldn’t believe you and i are a thing unless they see us doing something,” she tells him. “anyway, you can stay in the lobby, no one’s going to tell you to get out.”

she tells him, walking around the room to see if anything was out of place - she’s a bit of a neat freak, which helps her in her line of work. everything reeks of antiseptic and bleach; most people wouldn’t have an appetite due to the strong smell, but it’s something she’s already gotten used to. she sighs, thinking about the food she wants to get for herself.

“i’m very hungry,” she expresses, feeling the pain in her stomach. “my stomach’s been hurting for hours but i skipped a meal so i wouldn’t be late.” she shares, hoping he doesn’t mind that she’s sharing some stuff about her. it feels like she hasn’t spoken to anyone about herself in a while, always just asking patients about their condition, telling them their diagnosis. it was all almost like a script.

teasing her like that might have been too ambitious of beziel at this stage, so he opts to keep any other suggestive comments to himself, store them carefully in his mind for latter times; as much as it seems she would look like a true vision when flustered, he doesn't want to scare her away or have her hiding in the bush like a scared fawn.

❝ well, that's no good. ❞ beziel deadpans, wiggling his finger in front of her face. ❝ i'm shit at keeping to timely meals, but you're in no position to afford having an empty stomach on long shifts. guess we gonna have to spoil you rotten today. ❞ he says shrugging, as if it was mission bestowed upon him by a higher being, leaving him with no other option.

the conversation dies at that, really, with beziel silently following dasom to the lobby, that surprisingly, is relatively empty. the atmosphere was a calm, strangely relaxed one, with the pitter-patter of hurried footsteps replaced by the rhythmic ticking of the clock.

beziel flops on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, waving dasom off, before closing his eyes and waiting, thoughts a murmur in the distance.

today has been a calm, serene day, uneventful and pleasantly long, and yet, the tension beziel can feel creeping and settling in between the layers of his skin, is something particularly hard to ignore — it feels like a warning, it moves like an omen.

the hour had passed by rather quickly, as beziel sat still in the chair, arms crossed over his chest, disconnected and detached from everything around him. he had managed to catch a few glances of dasom going up and down adjacent hallways; when that happened, beziel sent a small smile. she had appeared slightly worried whenever she saw his slumped figure, perhaps sorry that he had been forced to wait for her.

beziel simply smiled dismissively, and before he knew it, dasom was sat in front of him, nearly touching his knees.

❝ ready to go ? ❞ beziel's voice is slightly groggy, scratching his throat in an uncomfortable manner. he clears it as soundlessly as he could manage as he stretching his muscles not unlike an overgrown blue-blooded cat.

❝ any particular cravings tonight, m'lady ? ❞ beziel teasingly says, courtesying before her ostentatiously.

[hategana]

i would die for jorja smith and that’s just facts, simple maths.

[hategana]

ofkingdomcomes‌ :

he earns a raised eyebrow from her due to his reaction, not sure what he found funny. she keeps her distance from him just in case anyone outside looks in through the small skinny window that most hospital doors have, crossing her arms as she watches him.

“fuck, that serious? forget i asked then, i want to keep my license.” dasom cusses once again, tilting her head to the side, feeling curious now about what gets himself into when he’s not being treated by her. despite being neighbors with him for a while now, she still doesn’t know much about him, other than he’s incredibly prone to injuries.

she looks at her wristwatch, clicking a button on it to make it light up. she then lifts her head to look at him. “i have an hour left before i can go home. let’s grab something to eat on the way home, i’m starving.”

she sighs, patting her stomach. if she keeps skipping meals just to get more sleep, soon she’ll be the one taking herself to the emergency room. dasom’s aware that there’s more to life than just sleeping and eating, but those two are what’s on top of her mind.

dasom hums as she thinks, smirking when she remembers what she’s been told by another nurse. “i believe someone was caught fucking in the employee’s bathroom the other day.” she chuckles, shaking her head. “get that quickie while on your duty, i guess.”

beziel hums in approval; an hour of waiting for her was manageable, no doubt. he had initially expected her to hit him with like 5, so he’s more than grateful that wasn’t the case.

he sincerely doubts whether dasom knowing at length what his job entails, and from where most of his injuries originate, she’d be at the risk of losing her license to practice. in fact, beziel is more worried that it would categorically drive her away or have her go to new heights to escape even his shadow. they might not be the closest neighbours out there, but beziel appreciates the comfortable, serene relationship they have right now.

❝ hungry, are you ? ❞ beziel lowly chuckles affectionately.  ❝ i can’t imagine having much of an appetite whilst being surrounded by ...well.. ❞ he hesitates, trying to find the words to best describe it.  ❝ nobody comes to the hospital if there’s nothing wrong with them, no ? it can’t be that jolly of a place. ❞

beziel’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as he listens to dasom spilling all the tea.  ❝ goddamn. nothing is sacred anymore to the modern man, innit ? ❞

he internally winces, despite his facial expression being a carefully crafted one. out of all the people to talk about the sacredness of things, he is far from being afforded the authority. his present isn’t anything to take pride in, nor something to add to his online dating profile, but is past...his past is entirely another shade of the abyss.

❝ right, then ! ❞ beziel jumps off the high seat dasom forced him into when he first arrived, clapping his hands with faux enthusiasm,  ❝ where should i hide until you’re done ? i suspect you medial lot are quite chatty, and a rumour about some secret lover would for sure take over the hospital if they’d see me hanging around you needlessly. ❞  

but of course, beziel is a child, a complete and utter infant trapped in a body far too big for his nature, and he cannot help but wiggle his eyebrows suggestively with the shittiest grin he is capable of.  ❝ unless, you actually want that to happen ? ❞

[hategana]

there has always been something about rich old men that deeply annoyed drobeta; she had taken decades to learn how to stop the grinding of her teeth from being heard inside a loud room, whenever social circumstances forced her to interact closely with some pig headed elite.

perhaps it was their sense of self-importance. perhaps their wild-running misogyny. perhaps their very existence. however, they always made her life either unnecessarily complicated or extraordinarily simple. her current target decided on the latter.

drobeta rarely allowed herself to become part of some rich fuck’s petty arguments, and even more rarely allowed herself to be employed for personal missions; except this time around, she herself had something to gain from her involvement. her current customer is a loyal patron of her’s, one that she isn’t particularly inclined to either like or dislike; she’s as neutral as possible towards him, which is the best she can offer. regardless, this customer of her’s, wound up being scorned by his secret lover boy, who decided to break his heart, by running away with her customer’s family heirloom. 

drobeta’s customer had explained to her briefly that the heirloom matterd little to him personally, it was the act of it that certainly bothered him. so what does a lover scorned with a shitload of money to throw away do ? hire somebody to not only get the heirloom back, but to bleed the daring bastard dry.

the only reason drobeta accepted the offer, was that, besides the hefty paycheck she would receive once she completed the mission, she get to keep the heirloom as well, that just happened to be an object of interest for another customer on her very long list.

and so, here she is, dressed in in leather from head to toe, willing to break bones and hotel property. yes, like previously mentioned, this one bastard opted to make her life extraordinarily easy by hiding inside an expensive hotel room in some ostentatious building gob-smacked in the center of town, whilst also using his actual name and affiliated credit card.

fucking dumbass.

using the card she sweet-talked out of some soft-hearted intern, she pushes the door to hotel room open, determined expression set in stone, and fists ready to be thrown.

only that, instead of coming face to face with some greasy, slimy, good-for-nothing scrub, drobeta meets the eyes of some sweet little thing looking truly fearful and confused, scrambling to find her words.

❝ oh, you have got to be kidding me ! ❞ she groans loudly, stomping her foot with purpose on the floor,  ❝ out of all the rich bastards in this hotel, you just had to go for this one, huh ? ❞

open to: m/f/nb connection: rich stranger plot: this plot

when she lied her way into the hotel room, ava was never expecting to actually see the rich person staying there. she had figured they would be gone all day doing important business things, and ava could take advantage of their endless wallet and the endless minibar in their hotel room. and then she’d be gone before they were any the wiser. she was not expecting them to walk through the door while she was lying on the bed, their eyes wide in surprise. she shot up, stepping away from them skittishly. “oh my god,” she breathed, her voice a little panicked. “i can explain.”

[hategana]

ofkingdomcomes‌ :

beziel’s smile is blinding, but dasom wasn’t fazed; instead, it made her do the same. it feels nice to smile in a workplace that’s always so serious. she nods at his answer as she begins putting away everything. once everything’s back in place she takes her rubber gloves off, throwing it in the trashbin and washing her hands in the sink nearby.

“child’s play? do i even want to know what kind of shit you’re into?” she says, not holding herself back from cussing. it also feels good to do it, since she has to be careful with her words at all times whenever she’s at the hospital, not wanting to put on a bad image in front of the patients. after washing her hands she takes out an ice pack from the small refrigerator in the corner of the room, walking back to where he was and handing it to him.

“you could say that.” she says, sighing. “i have longer shifts at the moment since someone’s family member is sick. i only have two days left and then i’m back to my normal schedule.”

she says in an optimistic tone, looking forward to the last day of her killer shift - she doesn’t even know how she’s still standing and being able to stay at the hospital for a long period of time.

beziel bursts out laughing instantly upon hearing her cuss — it's high-pitched and airy, but the words are far too outlandish coming from her for him to stop.

❝ yeah, probably not ❞ , he concurs, slightly teary eyed. ❝ you'd probably be inclined to commit malpraxis. ❞

he chuckles as he says that, in an easy going tone, voice mellow and placating, but he isn't certain that wouldn't be the case. he has difficulties seeing dasom being an accomplice to his sort of crimes.

❝ how much you got left of your shift ? i could wait for you and go home together. it's already late as it is. ❞

the hospital is considerably far from their neighbourhood, enough to have beziel cussing and kicking at empty cans as he made his way over, and dasom, pretty, naive, altruistic dasom, fits dangerously so in the type of girls that bastard is after.

perhaps beziel had ulterior motives to appear before her at her workplace.

❝ say, ❞ beziel begins, lips curving in what can only be utter mischief, ❝ any drama going on amongst the staff you could share with this lonely old man ? some doctor having an affair with some starry eyed patient ? some director embezzling funds ? hmm ? ❞