Get in control and watch them spiral out of control. You will see that mask slip if they can't break you. Your happiness is yours! Stop allowing these demons to take it remove yourself or create distance but make sure they know, you are POWERFUL and PROTECTED!
One sure fire way to encourage a man to disconnect in any relationship is for her to attempt to correct him by comparison, criticism, condemnation, or even being condescending.
If she wants him to hear her or to see any blindspot within himself, (after taking it to God first), she has to take the time to understand why he moves the way he moves in any specific situation.
This takes time, patience, and understanding on her part. But if she doesn't have the patience to do that, she likely has bigger matters to consider.
And, if she is unable to do that then it's possible that she is requesting something from him that she isn't also demanding from herself.