hauntedlunaar

[hauntedlunaar]

i have come out of the fire with two truths

one - that i had to give it all up because of circumstances and that you gave it all up because you were too scared and could not see

two - we are different in our devotion. i would lay anything down to be loved and cared for and you just want the light of the sun

iron sharpens iron as i sharpen my bones to crack and morph me into someone i am not someone who no longer exists

that day killed me in an offkey time signature as i wasted tears over rebirth wasted tears that let me know exactly what not to do in the foreseeable future

i cannot become malleable again i cannot give away the parts of me that remain in the smoke and thus i create upon myself a visage of fire. i have come out of the fire into the fire and see now that the moon does not need the sun to survive nor does the moon need anything it simply is just the moon and i am just a fool

accepted and resigned i hang my head upon the cradle of a rope and know my words will stay choked and swallowed for a long long time.

[hauntedlunaar]

i have come out of the fire with two truths

one - that i had to give it all up because of circumstances and that you gave it all up because you were too scared and could not see

two - we are different in our devotion. i would lay anything down to be loved and cared for and you just want the light of the sun

iron sharpens iron as i sharpen my bones to crack and morph me into someone i am not someone who no longer exists

that day killed me in an offkey time signature as i wasted tears over rebirth wasted tears that let me know exactly what not to do in the foreseeable future

i cannot become malleable again i cannot give away the parts of me that remain in the smoke and thus i create upon myself a visage of fire. i have come out of the fire into the fire and see now that the moon does not need the sun to survive nor does the moon need anything it simply is just the moon and i am just a fool

accepted and resigned i hang my head upon the cradle of a rope and know my words will stay choked and swallowed for a long long time.

[hauntedlunaar]

devotion to hel.

i am my own pallbearer

and gravedigger

i lie 6 feet under

laying to rest a monster

and a beast

unworthy unalive

arcadia has fields of plenty

you will end up there

so when you find arcadia

do not let me know

i met death

and the stench of lilacs filled my nose

they twisted a knife into my side

and carved away my sins

in fire was i borne

and to return i must be burnt

so cast me into the sun's core

and i will erase

take pulls of holy water

to which i will drown

and be washed clean

washed away with the tides

and left to

rot.

[hauntedlunaar]

i am caramel

sugar spun and burnt so much

it has become deepened and richer

i thought i got better but

maybe i didnt

distortion guitar always sounded better

im sorry i could not give you what you came for

and i will no longer answer the front door

carry no sins for you should be unfettered and

i will drown in the locker chained to the core

you will stick to me wont you

because i am caramel

and god you have a sweet tooth

i cant walk beside you

not anymore

although maybe it was a good dream when i could

nothing more than a dream

compartmentalize my sins and forget me

let the burnt sugar smoke fade from 

your nostrils and mind

because that is all the good 

of a caramel nightmare

[hauntedlunaar]

the empire has fallen

i woke up in a pine box

dry throat tense muscles

was i gone? for only a moment?

i am tired of myself

feels like i am falling into your sea

fade to black

the camera shuts off

in sepia tones i leak emotions

mopped away by the blood dripping

from my hands my teeth i

swallow razor blades again

days have become discordant

no longer filled with grandeur and joy

i keep my head tucked inside my collar

and hide myself away

it hurts too much to be empty

because emptiness hurts like

hunger pangs

i am begging for mercy

on my knees before an

unnamed god

oh faceless one

i pledge myself to you and

in your service i will become your

monster again

all i ask of you is

to give me back what i lost

and make sure you do better than me

i would give anything and

everything away of myself

for you

what is the moon to the sun

[hauntedlunaar]

they call me a

bad first draft.

impure and unclean

i am stained over with your ink and blood

your tears and sweat

but never enough material as the

stains never fade

you wrapped me in your blankets and

held me hoping to

be something good and yet

it all crumbled apart in your hands

the wind blew the dust away from you

hollow graphite breaks and smears across

my skin into tattoos of curses and

lies to tell

i carry all your hatred and scorn

with red stains in my teeth i cannot

bring myself to smile

as there is nothing to be happy about in

halfway to death

[hauntedlunaar]

kerosene and water

form separate layers

ive been sleeping on my own

in pools of salted circles

drowning or choking

asphyxiating i cannot

decide much too much

too much

i have been drained and

bled out like a vampire attack

victim how very ironic in that i

should have been the one feeding

every word sticks under my skin

like barbs perennially shifting

in death my soul is heavy

ive lost track of the time

i have been rewiring retracing remaking

my mind from it's pieces to be at peaces end

im turning into a shadow

again

ghost like and empty

enjoy freedom so

walk into the sun happily

if things change again i think i

will plunge a knife into

my neck

[hauntedlunaar]

the colour of grief stains 

my hands my lips the

insides of my teeth and mouth i

feed upon it and drown thoroughly without

hesitation because to grieve deeply is to have

i cannot bring myself to finish this

[hauntedlunaar]

it has pierced my heart

and now i lie in

a bed of thorns

kissed by deaths touch

and laid to rest by empty sounds

theyre all fake fans pssh

what does that make you

because when i look into the

audience for you

you are gone

too busy playing your

own gig

too busy not needing

a bass

i will stare out into the

crowd and

silently weep

hiding my guttural sobs

behind mediocrity

nay inferiority

they are all fake fans

and yet i seem to be forgotten

amidst your storm of glamour

you pose incredibly well and

it is awfully piercing

[hauntedlunaar]

kiss me one last time

i taste like poison

on your lips

killing the butterflies

inside your chest

stay away from the tides

because they will swallow you

whole like the monsters of

old and make you remember

that they will forget

bite your nails

no one is stopping you from

it so

go ahead and give into vice

i light up another cigarette

and feel the glass buried in my side

she is made of porcelain

shattered put back together and

shattered once more

coin operated porcelain piggy bank

who lies dormant and empty

who lies dead still

a liar and a monster to boot

[hauntedlunaar]

the sun is out

and i have turned into ash and smoke

only i can feel the downpour

[hauntedlunaar]

fps. frames per second. theres something that is incredibly scary and dynamic about frames per second. its emulation of life. our eyes work as high resolution high fps cameras, the best cameras in the world. eyes work as fluid dynamic cameras. humanity has been trying to emulate it for years and years and years and we've come up with hd, high definition, we've come up with megapixels and screens to view images. i dont take many photos, but i always try to capture that innate sense of humanity and replicate what our eyes see. cameras arent as vibrant to me, but filming things intentionally creates perspective; perspective defines a lot of this. so where does fps come into this? frames per second can show us differences. 24 fps vs 16 fps. into the spider verse does a stellar job of this. everyone is animated in 24 fps except for miles until he becomes and embraces the leap of faith that makes him spider man. he goes from 12 to 24. 12 frames. 12 simple frames that showcase the character growth all the way from where he started to where he has gotten. they doubled his frames. you cant double the frames on your eyes, you see the maximum always forever unless your eyes have problems. but imagine being able to see things in different frame rates. highlighting the things in front of you, slowing down and blurring the background to make way for the fronts, adjusting the lighting and filter so that you can view things differently. imagine if we could control our eyes the way you control cameras and filming. you can go down in frames when you watch things, you can find the flaws, the mistakes, the things that make the frames run less. im not sure where im going with this. but i think i am animated with less frames. i dont think im special, i think everyone is a different frame rate, a different colour, different taste and scent and temperature. but i think my frame rate should be; is lower than optimal. for a multitude of reasons. but basically because i think i am less than.

[hauntedlunaar]

conjurer

your art scares people

did you know that?

they witness greatness and

fear they will never reach close

enough to the sun

i am so scared

terrified petrified paralyzed

and that makes me fearless

i deign to do what no one else does

at a hidden calibre

pointed directly at my cranium

it tastes like acrid gunpowder

to witness a natural disaster

is considered one of life's most

heartening experiences

calamitous and unforgiving

you are not a natural disaster

they are unaware of the monster

they have conjured and summoned

i am that storm

[hauntedlunaar]

i press my hand against the glass

youre on the other side

i hope

the glass is stained over with my blood

and fogged up

i can only punch it so much

until something breaks

i hope the glass cracks and

maybe shatters before i am

broken

i cannot bring myself to say those three words

[hauntedlunaar]

hope for a musical eclipse

my heart is like a bass with strings wound too taut and they have snapped i cannot replace the strings music doesnt taste the same without you words and writing dont taste the same i always wondered what itd be like to stand next to a genius i want to stay but i want to stay but the east has called so give me a call and send me letters because all i can do right now is miss the sun from my corner of the moon my perfect shining sun no longer mine to call im not allowed i cannot allow myself to put the strings back on that bass and pluck

[hauntedlunaar]

screams into pillow

[hauntedlunaar]

hi jenny

its been a while

im writing this to tell you that

i know youve found me

so come and find me

come and get me and

make me yours once again

hence i have served as yours and

will offer my services once again

i have served

i will be of service

jennys got a new favourite colour

the same as yours

first purple then pink now it is

a deep luscious green

she apparently talked to your ex

and it would appear that

you've split your stitches

the strings attached have come loose

out of tune out of order

you know that

singing for her makes me smile

and giggle from ear to ear

rosy cheek to

rosy cheek so

jenny called again

she said she misses you

pressed against her and

wants you back

she wants to be inside of

you again

they found her body two

counties away in a

ditch

when she finally learns

it was for you and not

her she

will cry and sob and weep

are you going to comfort her or

go sing for the fans

crying in excitement?

jennys asking for

where you are shes

gotten more pretty more

angry and said she'd kill to

get you

can you tell her im out at

the moment?

let's get high higher than

we used to as we grow into giants

leviathans who weep

because you dont

know or care

hi jenny.

its me.

im sorry for leaving you a voicemail

but you werent picking up.

maybe this time we can

start over

just you and me, again?

ice cream sundaes, milkshakes and

feet up on the coffee table

i still have your jacket

my favourite colour is a

dark wine red now