havensvik - Tumblr blog

[havensvik]

stop using chatgpt!!!! take a bronze pin and carve your questions onto an ox scapula, then toss it into the fire!!!! use the cracks to divine the gods answer!!!!

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When irl pisses me off, I rewatch the Honda Odyssey scene to relax

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Obi-Wan, being treated in the medbay right after zyguerria: Anakin, the zygerrian are disturbingly cruel. In the morning, I we were ordered to carry cargo that was extremely heavy, and when i saw an elder collapse over the weight of his task, i offered to help and was tased for that. Then, i tried to talk to rex while working to come up with a plan and for that they pulled me out and gave me thirty lashes on my back with an electric whip. We had no breaks whatsoever, food and water were scarce, and some of the materials we had to handle were potentially hazardous for our health. If you had been there with us, you would be horrified.

Anakin: at what?

Obi-Wan: ????

Anakin: you just described a regular wednesday at watto’s shop in tatooine. Are you saying that any planet with such inhuman treatment of slaves deserves the intervention of the jedi and the Republic?

Obi-Wan: N-no, that’s not what i said… back me up here, Rex, wasn’t it disturbing when they said the only purpose we existed to serve was working for them until we died?

Rex: *shruging* that’s roughly the first thing I was told at the Kamino academy as a five-year old cadet. Do you think that’s disturbing, sir?

Obi-Wan: okay. okay. okay.

Obi-Wan: I need some time to think, excuse me please.

-five minutes later-

Obi-Wan, kicking the council room’s door open: What, pray tell, the fuck are we doing as a highly powerful order which sole duty is to help people across the galaxy??

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Fives: I said something stupid the other day

Rex: given your daily track record, you’re gonna have to be more specific

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Padmé: Alright, how many of you knew Anakin and I are married?

Obi-Wan: *raises hand*

Ahsoka: *raises hand*

Cody: *raises hand*

Rex: *raises hand*

Anakin: *raises hand*

Padmé: Ani, put your hand down

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Rex: okay, next question: if an order from a superior officer goes against regulations, what do you follow?

Dogma: orders

Echo: regulations

Fives: your gut

Kix: the option that leads to less casualties

Fives: *pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and marks a couple of X’s on it*

Fives: “Echo is a nerd” and “Kix makes everyone sad”, good going guys…

Rex: Fives!

Fives: “Captain Rex says my name angrily”! Thanks sir, I got bingo!

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Jesse: I'm doing my best sir but it's hard when this entire army is built upon hypocrisy

Rex, 100% not ready for this conversation: 😧 Jesse...

Jesse: Why are you always telling us we have to "set a good example" but Cody gets to do whatever he wants?!

Rex: oh

Jesse: *holds up datapad* the entire shipment of rations bound for the 104th is listed as "puppy chow" in the official manifest

Rex: oh shit Wolffe's gonna-

Jesse: ...and Cody's a CC!! It's not fair!

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Fives: Am I in trouble?

Rex: Take a guess.

Fives: … no?

Rex: Take another guess.

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How dare you bite me? I’ll hold you tight!

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After Sidius’ defeat, the clones go out for drinks

Fives: ok ok ok, my turn. I’ve never... had hidden sex with a civvy in the weapons depot

*Jesse and Appo drink down their shots and fives cackles*

Echo: *smirking* what the hells, you guys?!

Appo: I was gonna sneak to the dorms but Captain Rex was just walking out of the dorms so I hid there!

Jesse, tipsy already bc he keeps drinking to every ‘never have I ever’: heh, nah I did it for the rush of maybe getting caught

Kix: y’all kriffing nasty, my turn. Never have I ever drawn a goat with sharpie on the 79’s bathroom wall and written “fives’ sister” next to it

*silence, except for a few giggles here and there*

*after a long pause, Rex drinks*

All the clones: *hollering*

Fives: SIR?!?!?!

Rex: you had disobeyed direct orders for the fifth time the same week and I was angry! And drunk! And very angry!

Fives: you’re the reason why vod’e sometimes look at me and say “ahh, that’s why you have the goatee”?!

Dogma: *slams his forehead down on the table and starts cry-laughing*

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“When you skip the tutorial” 

(Source)

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Dogma: Well, has General Skywalker been wrong before?

Rex: How wide are we willing to open this up?

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Rex: Can I be frank with you guys?

Fives: I don't see how changing your name is going to help, but ok.

Echo: Can I still be Echo?

Fives: Shhh, let Frank speak.

Rex:

Cody: *wheezing in the background*

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Ashoka: Hey Din it’s good to see you again, I hope you don’t mind but I brought a friend along.

Din: when did Boba get so fucking old? I saw him like last week!

Rex:

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Anakin: hey Qui-Gon, really great to have you back and all, but uh, you really should stop trying to talk to Obi-Wan

Qui-Gon: what, why??

Anakin: you keep making him upset

Qui-Gon: that’s not my intention, and it’s not like our problems will resolve themselves without-

Anakin: no you don’t understand

Anakin: I’m not ASKING you to stop talking to him

Anakin: I’m WARNING you that Commander Cody’s going to make you dead again if you keep upsetting his General

Qui-Gon: I’m sure I can handle one clone

Anakin: yeah, I’m sure you couldn’t, actually

[havensvik]

the worst thing about writing or any kind of craft is having an idea you're really excited to make a reality but then you sit down and realize how much work it's going to take to get to that point and suddenly you feel like those two little gay guys in the mountain in the lord of the rings