hayleyj - Tumblr blog

[hayleyj]

[hayleyj]

[hayleyj]

One could say this isn’t a puppy, and they’d be a dummy for saying so. This is a puppy, dummy.

[hayleyj]

[hayleyj]

[hayleyj]

i care so much until i don’t

[hayleyj]

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[hayleyj]

SWEAR, IM DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE

Idk man, idk what should i do now. I tried to contact my dad, even by E-mail. But no news from him. Like wtf, why my dad not like other’s dad. He never care about us after married with that woman. I miss my mom so much, I need her. I really need her. Idk like how to talk to her. She was so mad about me and Jenny. I helped Jenny so many times, and now Jenny threw shit to me. She hates Jenny just because Jenny is my father’s side. Idk all fucked up now, isnt like before. I was a happy go lucky girl. Everything is changed. I didnt see any positive in my life. I tried my best to be positive but still all of this haunted me. Sometimes, I feel scared to continue my life cause I know I dont have family anymore. Why.. Why this shit happened. Can I just kill myself? I dont care anymore. I just wanna die, I wont see anyone anymore.

[hayleyj]

WHY?

Why im so supposed to be alive? Theres nothing. Family ignoring me, friends betrayed me, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me. And I knew one guy, he never show he really want to know whats the future. Sometimes he showing that he like me, sometimes he made me so overthinking and insecure. Im not really care about relationship anymore. Only God knows how Ive struggled from my past relationship. Thats sucks and really sick. I never be happy after dad left us. Hes selfish, mom also. Why never thinks bout us? They just leave us and follow their path. I need to know why this happened. Like why? Why and why. But I know no ones will know. Im heartless. Im tired. Im sick. I need someone that I can tell everything, that I can trust, that really care about me. Thats so hard to through everything alone after 20 years.. I still love my self. I already forget all about suicide, I stop thinking about that cause I know I deserve to be happy, but Idk im so confused, I really want to know why I have to feel this fucking feelings