hazbeans-for-thee

[hazbeans-for-thee]

Idea I'm going to do nothing with.

Lucifer is a king with Adam as his evil adviser. Lucifer is painfully in love with Adam and painfully oblivious to Adam's evil, and Adam's evil plans to kill Lucifer and Charlie and take the throne for himself never work.

Adam tries to repeatedly poison Lucifer, but he does too little to avoid being caught and Lucifer only gets sick. Eventually Lucifer is just immune to posions.

Adam leads Lucifer into a death trap, only to accidentally save his life.

One night he just straight up says fuck it, he climbs on top of Lucifer as he sleeps, intent on stabbing him to death and risking being caught.

Lucifer wakes up with Adam straddling his waist, he doesn't even see the knife, and instantly assumes Adam has come to seduce him.

Adam can't say, no actually I'm here to kill you, Lucifer will call the guards, so he sleeps with Lucifer.

This is how he learns that Lucifer is in love with him. He doesn't stop trying to kill Lucifer, but before long Adam's married to Lucifer and spendings his evenings brushing little Charlie's hair instead of plotting to murder the whole royal family. He can rule through her, he's sure, besides, he needs an evil heir.

No one in the kingdom is sure why Lucifer and Charlie don't see that Adam is evil, but on the bright side when someone more competent tries to poison Lucifer, it didn't work.

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Based off of this gem. 🤌👇

https://youtu.be/Vr9TqnO6pNk?si=j2eDa6tdi4hfcx7K

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Luci needing cuddles after rough day sketch?

made it sad :3

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No one will ever convince me that Lucifer isn't flirting with his wife 24/7.

If I were him, I would be flirting 👀

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I miss them 😔🍎✨

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Alastor and Vox have to be the most powerful overlords because this-

is absolutely bonkers.

I know he got his shit wrecked. I don't care. Adam is one of the most powerful beings to exist. Adam faced 4 people one on one. One is literally in heaven as a result. One was the princess of hell of who ALSO lost until intervention, one was the literal king of hell, and then Alastor who took this blow.

Of course, Alastor would lose without using angelic weapons. What doesn't make sense is him NOT using angelic weapons. Besides 'plot said so', why would he do this? HE found out the intel. HE helped organize the army AND the weapon supply. It really bothers because it's so nonsensical. They JUST found out that angels can be killed and he just... forgot??? Like, WHAT? The fact that he put up a good fight, has shown an extensive, diverse skill set, AND put up this ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE shield. We've got to give him more props.

Vox blew out the entire power grid of the Pentagram.

Because he was pissy.

That is ridiculous.

I'm putting those two at the top. And them beefing so pettily makes it so much more ridiculous.

[hazbeans-for-thee]

A fun difference between Alastor and Vox is that Vox is always looking for approval. Alastor is confident in himself and his abilities, or at least has a mask solid enough to consistently portray that this way.

Vox is implied to change trends constantly, which fits with attention-seeking. He overexplains his lyrics in Stayed Gone to make sure the audience gets his intent loud and clear; several times, he's looking at the camera or glancing around himself for affirmation.

In the segment where Alastor first interrupts, he's watching the crowd, analysing them as you can see his pupils sweeping across them.

I also love his lyric, "You're looking at the future, he's the shit that comes before that!"

Because Vox is a smart man to have come this far, and people who are most successful are those who learn from the past. Vox seems more interested in devaluing it entirely, talking as if there is nothing to be seen from what's happened before; the past is only useful as a stepping stone to the future, what's ahead, where he's at now. It shows a lot of his short-sightedness in a subtle way and it's probably going to cause him a few grievances moving forwards in the show.

There's a few theories that Alastor's hatred for modern technology stems from Vox, but it could also be interesting to consider that Vox is so hostile towards the past because of similar reasons.

In order to innovate, you have to understand what came before you. Maybe Vox understood this when he was a newer arrival. But he doesn't seem interested in that anymore. He just wants to keep moving forwards forever.

[hazbeans-for-thee]

Imagine this:

Alastor somehow ends up on earth and uses the spell Stolas and Luna used to make human disguises in order to blend in.

(Ignore the fact that sinners very likely can't go on the earthy plane blah blah, it's just a silly idea).

His human disguise is just him as his human self from when he was alive.

He's in a city and comic con is on. Cosplayers everywhere wandering around. One cosplayer dressed up as a 'popular' serial killer runs up to him with their friends. (The type of people who are way too interested in serial killers, cannibals etc... think Dahmer fans...)

They come up to Alastor all excited with their phones out and say they love his cosplay! It's so realistic! How'd he get it so precise?

He's confused, doesn't know what a cosplay is. He asks them what they're talking about. They show him a very old picture of himself from when he was alive and ask him "you're cosplaying Alastor (last name), right? You've got it spot on!" Alastor peers at the phone with a sneer, suprised at how they knew his name and how they got the picture of him.

He asks them why in hell he would be dressed up as him- THAT man.... They're confused, but explain that he was a serial killer in the 1920s/30s and that only after his death in 1933 did the police piece together what he'd been doing. He'd kill his victims, then report about the murders on his radio show. No one ever the wiser that it was his own victims he was speaking of. It was also rumoured that he was a cannibal, and would eat some of his victims.

Alastor listened to their rambling with interest, ever the self absorbed demon. He was fascinated that these people LIKED what he'd done, or at least we're interested in it. While he had no problems with his actions (he enjoyed it), he didn't expect some random humans from 90 years after his death to know about him, let alone learn everything they could about him!

Although he was still confused on why they were dressing up as serial killers (and whatever those brightly coloured things in the distance were), he was excited that all his work in the living world paid off. He was a legend!

In reality though it was just a group of weirdos who had a crush on and a strange fascination with a long dead psychopathic serial killer.

Seriously... It's fine to be interested by FICTIONAL evil characters, but don't glorify actual killers who killed actual people....

[hazbeans-for-thee]

death of the author yeah whatever but death of the fandom is so integral to enjoying legitimately anything like that is just a necessary step to take in ur head always. do not let them affect the text in any way exterminate them all with ur death ray. they r not real and cannot hurt u

[hazbeans-for-thee]

The Main Attraction

♥ Honestly, you never saw yourself attending any sort of important event in Hell. Party? Gala? Whatever it was supposed to be, it wasn't meant for you.

♥ But when Lucifer comes to you, bursting with excitement about one of these things...so thrilled at the chance to finally show you off to everyone and anyone he possibly can...

♥ ...how could you say no?

♥ That's how you end up with your arm wrapped snugly around his, while he's practically preening as he strides into the building with more confidence than you've ever seen. It's charming, it puts you at ease a little.

♥ The moment he spots someone though, he's dragging you over to proudly introduce his beloved! You swear he's going to Will Smith pose at you at some point. This stranger is smiling and nodding politely as he is bragging about every single detail he can about you.

♥ This stranger probably is not a stranger anymore, given how much they now know about you.

♥ This is repeated so many times. To literally anyone he recognizes, or who tries calling out to him for a conversation. WRONG- this conversation is about his partner now.

♥ If you actually get a chance to leave his side for a moment, be it for some air or a drink, he is still talking about you.

"Aren't they stunning?~ Did you get a good look at what they're wearing? HAHA not too good a look though--" "I still don't know how I got so lucky!~" "Oh! That reminds me of something my duckie did/does/says/etc..."

♥ When the music suddenly swells, Lucifer wastes no time taking your hand and leading you out onto the floor. Everyone else parting for you both to just watch in awe.

♥ Even if you're nervous, he tells you to just focus on him, not to worry about anything else around you both, and you do...

♥ ...this entire event really IS about you in the end, and everyone agrees. They can't wait until the King brings you to the next one...maybe he'll actually quiet down long enough to let you speak next time.

[hazbeans-for-thee]

I’ve been drawing a lot and hoarding it like a dragon, so have one of my first Hazbin Hotel arts I made when the show was still airing. I love Luci and Charlieeee

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RadioSilenceWeek

Day 5 - “I love you.“ “I know.“

I love angsty smut 🙏🥹

Thought I had more time, but life goes on with its stressful woes….

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Happy Father’s Day to THE Dad ever…

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totally different moods on these last two haha

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Sir Pentious and the bad bitch he (accidentally) pulled by being silly.

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Just a quick doodle inspired by a screenshot of the silly

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Choosing to believe we haven't even seen Lucifer's final form... he could get even more demonic... More feral... we probably haven't even scratched the surface of what/who he could truly become. But what will it be that tips him over the edge and reveals what ancient power possibly lies even deeper inside him? Will he be able to control it? Will he lose himself? And could he even come back from it?