he-ate-with-the-wrong-people

[he-ate-with-the-wrong-people]

[he-ate-with-the-wrong-people]

Have been thinking a lot lately about how, when a new technology emerges, people who were born after the shift have trouble picturing exactly what The Before was like (example, the fanfic writer who described the looping menu on a VHS tape), and even people who were there have a tendency to look back and go "Wow, that was... wild."

Today's topic: The landline. A lot of people still have them, but as it's not the only game in town, it's an entirely different thing now.

(Credit to @punk-de-l-escalier who I was talking to about this and made some contributions)

for most of the heyday of the landline, there was no caller ID of any kind. Then it was a premium service, and unless you had a phone with Caller ID capability-- and you didn't-- you had to buy a special box for it. (It was slightly smaller than a pack of cigarettes.)

Starting in the early nineties, there WAS a way to get the last number dialed, and if desired, call it back. It cost 50 cents. I shit you not, the way you did it was dialing "*69". There's no way that was an accident.

If you moved, unless it was in the same city-- and in larger cities, the same PART of the city-- you had to change phone numbers.

As populations grew, it was often necessary to take a whole bunch of people and say "Guess what? You have a new area code now."

The older the house, the fewer phone jacks it had. When I was a kid, the average middle-class house had a phone jack in the kitchen, and one in the master bedroom. Putting in a new phone jack was expensive... but setting up a splitter and running a long phone cord under the carpet, through the basement or attic, or just along the wall and into the next room was actually pretty cheap.

Even so, long phone cords were pretty much a thing on every phone that could be conveniently picked up and carried.

The first cordless phones were incredibly stupid. Ask the cop from my hometown who was talking to his girlfriend on a cordless phone about the illegal shit he was doing, and his wife could hear the whole thing through her radio.

For most of the heyday of the landline, there was no contact list. Every number was dialed manually. Starting in the mid-eighties, you could get a phone with speed dial buttons, but I cannot stress how much they sucked, because you had to label them with a goddamn pencil, you only had ten or twenty numbers, reprogramming them was a bitch, and every once in a while would lose all of the number in its memory.

All of the phone numbers in your city or metro area were delivered to you once a year in The Phone Book, which was divided between the White Pages (Alphabetic), the Yellow Pages (Businesses, by type, then alphabetic), and the Blue Pages (any government offices in your calling area (which we will get to in a moment)).

Listing in the white pages was automatic; to get an unlisted number cost extra.

Since people would grab the yellow pages, find the service they need, and start calling down the list, a lot of local business names where chosen because they started with "A", and "Aardvark" was a popular name.

Yes, a fair chunk of the numbers in it were disconnected or changed between the time it was printed and it got to your door, much less when you actually looked it up.

One phone line per family was the norm.

Lots and lots and LOTS of kids got in trouble because their parents eavesdropped on the conversation by picking up another phone connected to the same line.

A fair number of boys with similar voices to their father got in trouble because one of their friends didn't realize who they were talking to.

And of course, there were the times where you couldn't leave the house, because you were expecting an important phone call.

Or when you were in a hotel and had to pay a dollar per call. (I imagine those charges haven't gone away, but who pays them?)

Since you can't do secondary bullet points, I'll break a couple of these items out to their own lists, starting with Answering Machines.

these precursors to voicemail were a fucking nightmare.

The first generation of consumer answering machines didn't reach the market until the mid-eighties. They recorded both the outgoing message and the incoming calls onto audio cassettes.

due to linear nature of the audio cassette, the only way to save an incoming call was to physically remove the cassette and replace it with a new one.

they were prone to spectacular malfunction; if the power went out, rather than simply fail to turn back on, they would often rewind the cassette for the incoming messages to the beginning, because it no longer knew where the messages were, or how many there were.

Another way they could go wrong was to start playing the last incoming call as the outgoing message.

Most people, rather than trying to remember to turn it on each time they went out and turn it off when they got back, would just leave it on, particularly when they discovered that you could screen incoming calls with it.

Rather a lot of people got themselves in trouble because they either didn't get to the phone before the answering machine, or picked up when they heard who was calling, and forgot that the answering machine was going-- thus recording some or all of the phone call.

Eventually the implemented a feature where you could call your answering machine, enter a code, and retrieve your messages. The problem was that most people couldn't figure out how to change their default code, and those that did didn't know it reset anytime the power went out. A guy I went to college with would call his ex-girlfriend's machine-- and her current boyfriend's-- and erase all the messages. He finally got busted when she skipped class and heard the call come in.

And, of course, there's the nightmare that was long-distance.

Calls within your local calling area were free. (Well, part of the monthly charge.) This usually meant the city you lived in and its suburbs. Anything outside this calling area was an extra per-minute charge.

This charge varied by time of day and day of the week, which made things extra fun when your friend on the west coast waited until 9pm for the lower charges, but you were on the east coast and it was midnight.

Depending on your phone company, and your long distance plan, the way your long distance work varied wildly. Usually in-state was cheaper-- with zones within the state that varied by price, and out of state had its own zones.

Your long distance plan came in lots and lots of distracting packages, and was billed to your phone bill.

At one point, when I was living in North Carolina, a scammer set themselves up as a long distance company and notified the phone company that a shitload of people had switched to their service. They got caught fairly quickly, but I was annoyed because they were actually charging less than AT&T.

"Would you like to change your long distance plan" was the 80's and 90's equivalent of "We have important news about your car insurance."

Had a friend who lived at the edge of a suburb in Birmingham, and for her to call her friend two miles down the street was long-distance, because the boundary of the calling area was right between them.

[he-ate-with-the-wrong-people]

[he-ate-with-the-wrong-people]

(this is benevolenterrancy, this is just my main account)

Bouncing the question back to you! What's a Hogan's Heroes headcanon that you find likely, and what's a self-indulgent crack headcanon that you have?

hc i find likely - dude i love the idea that schultz and his wife hide Jews. he runs a multimillion dollar company, there’s no way he’s as stupid as he portrays himself to be. he’s always turning a blind eye to hogan and the gang’s shenanies and sabotage and i just. love that one.

crack hc - carter being a ladies’ man back home. there is absolutely no foundation for it i just find it funny when juxtaposed with his self in the camp lol

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Everyone should read their own fanfics recreationally tbh this shit fucking rules. It's like the author knows exactly what I like.

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dying at the image of lebeau trying to strangle newkirk n being too short lol

also imagine newkirk actually can speak french quite well (look he can speak fluent german and do multiple accents, its not far fetched) but when lebeau is having a nightmare or stressing out about something, newkirk will butcher the accent and words and everything so as to get his mind off it (because the only comfort newkirk really knows is distraction so it’s what he can do)

what is your favorite hh hc that you find likely? and whats your favorite crack hh hc?

oooooh, okay, a headcanon that I find likely that always amuses me is that Newkirk speaks exactly enough French to drive Lebeau fucking insane and he weaponizes this. Catch him sing "Frère Jacques" just to watch Lebeau twitch.

If Lebeau goes slow and uses basic words, he can succeed in getting a point across to Newkirk if there's a good reason for them not to be using English, but if it's Newkirk speaking his talents end at listing the present tense conjugations for like, two verbs, counting to ten, and naming some classroom supplies. All with an accent to end all accents.

(he is, however, REALLY good at identifying French swear words, again courtesy of Lebeau. Doesn't know what they all mean, but he can get the gist)

Favourite crack headcanon... anything to do with Felix the mouse. Does Felix actually exist? No, I know it was a silly lie in a single episode. Does he exist and play an important role in my heart? YES. I'm still not over the silly Rescuers au a bunch of us were playing with a while back. I still daydream about it from time to time...

I just think Carter should have a cute lil pet mouse that is slightly uncanny and a bit too smart for its own good

[he-ate-with-the-wrong-people]

Writer's Medic Bag // Galen Leather Co

[he-ate-with-the-wrong-people]

thank you!

dude im. i follow the hogans heroes tag but until ur response to anon i didnt realize there were many active on here! ik ab the papa bear awards but thats like. it. do you know of many other ppl in the fandom u would recommend me following? id love to get more involved! <3

Hello, @he-ate-with-the-wrong-people

I'm not too familiar with who's who on Tumblr. The HH tag is a good thing to keep tabs on posted content. I don't know who consistently posts mostly HH stuff. We're an eclectic group with lots of different interests. But I'd say you have to check out @belphegor1982 and her art/stories (she's so good at writing LeBeau) and @benevolenterrancy has the most adorable HH drawings (she's been a consistent PBA winner since we started to include multimedia). @incorrect-hh-quotes @incorrect-stalag-13 are hilarious. There are more of us out there but I'm terrible with handles. So start there!

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Writing Tips Master Post

Character writing/development:

Character Arcs

Making Character Profiles

Character Development

Comic Relief Arc

Internal Conflict

Creating Distinct Characters

Suicidal Urges/Martyr Complex

Creating Likeable Characters

Writing Strong Female Characters

Writing POC Characters

Character Voices

Plot devices/development:

Intrigue in Storytelling

Enemies to Lovers

Alternatives to Killing Characters

Worldbuilding

Misdirection

Consider Before Killing Characters

Foreshadowing

Narrative:

Emphasising the Stakes

Avoid Info-Dumping

Writing Without Dialogue

1st vs. 2nd vs. 3rd Perspective

Fight Scenes (More)

Transitions

Pacing

Book writing:

Connected vs. Stand-Alone Series

A & B Stories

Miscellaneous:

Overcoming Writer's Block

1000 Follower Special

Writing Fantasy

Character Ask Game

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Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

[he-ate-with-the-wrong-people]

tv shows with time travel organizations/bureaus/police/agencies/whatever should have a department with instead of a tech genius eating candy, it’s a harried seamstress or fashion designer who is like

“1450 italy? does it look like I have the time to dye you wool? nO. YOU’RE GOING TO THE 1980s”

and throws shoulder pads at the hapless time agent

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site that you can type in the definition of a word and get the word

site for when you can only remember part of a word/its definition 

site that gives you words that rhyme with a word

site that gives you synonyms and antonyms

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I have been waiting all year to post this.

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For those of you who weren’t able to get 100% of the total solar eclipse today… I gotchu <3

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👏🏾Education 👏🏾is 👏🏾a 👏🏾right,👏🏾 not👏🏾 a👏🏾 service 👏🏾

Pass along and use the shit out of them

[he-ate-with-the-wrong-people]

Broke:

Belle has Stockholm syndrome because she falls in love with the Beast, her kidnapper.

Woke:

Stockholm syndrome was coined to slander a woman who had been in a hostage situation but openly criticized the poor police response which recklessly put her in more danger and escalated the violence. She was then belittled and discredited publically by the police for this.

So. Yeah. Maybe Belle does have Stockholm syndrome actually.

[he-ate-with-the-wrong-people]

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