he-harim

[he-harim]

i want the ability to instill disparate concepts onto animals (the concept of houses, warts, midnight, etc) and like spend an afternoon throwing one concept at a time into a boar's brain and see how long it would take before you see the boar become visibly distressed as it starts connecting ideas together but has nothing to do with them

[he-harim]

i just pointed out in my judaism class that it’s interesting to me that when asked God’s name, God did respond with the ineffable name (the tetragrammaton) but put a much greater emphasis on who they are the God OF (I’m the God of Abraham, the God of Moses, etc.).

and my teacher said she feels a kinship with that because she remembers the joy that came with the first time she was called “(son’s name)’s mom”, and how beautiful it feels be named for who you love. and i almost burst into tears

[he-harim]

i'm vegan (as well as non-kitniot, but yes quinoa) and use a lot of nuts

dips for matzah:

cashew cream cheese (soaked cashews blended with lemon, dill, garlic, salt, white wine)

pate (sauteed mushrooms, onions, sage, ground walnuts)

guacamole

salad

normal salad ingredients (leaves, tomato, olives, avocado, cucumber, herbs, celery, etc etc etc) plus quinoa / hearts of palm / boiled potato / roasted sweet potato, for some bulk

mains

sauteed mushroom and ground walnuts with onion and basil in tomato sauce - serve with potatoes or quinoa

use the above, with optional spinach etc., as a faux meat to layer with slices of roasted aubergine to make a moussaka

just roast some vegetables tbh

lots of soup (carrot, mushroom, onion, tomato, etc)

dessert

1:1 ratio of dark chocolate and coconut milk/cream (i.e. for 1 400ml can you would want 400g chocolate), melt together and chill

i made some almond flour potato starch maple syrup margarine cookies last year but tbh they were not that good

help me out, people who don't eat kitniyot... what are you making for pesach? I have never done a no kitniyot pesach in my life I need ideas :-)

[he-harim]

Contact lenses are shaped like yarmulkes. This is because they help your eyes to be more observant

[he-harim]

barbie movie tumtum discourse

[he-harim]

Torah ark curtain made from a woman’s dress

Izmir, Turkey, dedicated in 1929

Velvet silk in a satin cotton frame, couched metal threads and coils embroidery on cardboard cut-outs, sequins

Inscribed in Hebrew with dedication in memory of Jacob Haim son of Mazal Tov

From the late nineteenth century, it was a common practice for Sephardi Jews living in urban communities of the Ottoman Empire to donate precious, embroidered home textiles, such as bed coverings, pillowcases, and especially dresses, particularly wedding dresses, to be reused as curtains and coverings in the synagogue. From the 1850s through the turn of the century, Jewish women adopted a new style of wedding dress from the Turkish bourgeoisie. Heavy couched metal thread embroidery on dark velvet or pastel satin, depicting flowers spreading from vases or other stylised vegetal motifs, covered gowns known in Turkish as bindalli (a thousand branches) dresses. By their tailoring, as well as their embroidery motifs in what is known as the “Turkish baroque” style, these garments showed strong European influences. This wedding gown marked a transitional phase between the traditional entari dress and the white European wedding dress introduced in the early twentieth century.

Depending on local custom, brides wore this type of dress either for the kiddushin (wedding ceremony) or on the morning after the wedding, known as the sébah. The bindalli dress was one of a whole set of lavish gold embroideries in the bride’s trousseau to be used throughout her life. Like other gold embroidered articles, these dresses ultimately reached the synagogues, where they were converted into ark curtains, Torah mantles and binders, reading desk (bimah) covers, and the like, frequently with added dedicatory inscriptions.

The gold-embroidered dresses, adopted from the surrounding culture as a fashionable item without any Jewish specificity, were appropriated as Jewish through their use in the synagogue. The donation of dresses and trousseau items by women to the synagogues created a personal bond between the women and the synagogue. The habit of donating these textiles to the synagogue endured long after the original embroidered bedclothes and dresses had gone out of fashion. The embroideries became identified in these communities with the textiles customarily used in the synagogue, and the transitional bindalli fashion thus remained alive in Sephardi synagogues long after the passing of the brides who wore the dresses.

[he-harim]

Why is God so quiet?

because it’s your turn to talk

[he-harim]

Victoria Hanna- Aleph-bet (Hosha'ana)

[he-harim]

christians: what could possibly be in that evil book…. what horrible spells does it hold within its pages… what black magic does it propagate….

the talmud: so if you send your kid off to Torah school but he has a really hard time with it, send him back home and go to school yourself instead so that once you’ve learned Torah you can go and teach your entire family. in fact, once some rabbi went out to go to Torah school and do just this, and on his way he came through this town and he asked if he could stay in the synagogue for the night. and of course the rabbi said yes but weird enough no one was in the streets and something was kind of off about the whole place. so our hero went into the synagogue only to find a seven headed demon just hanging out in the library!! our hero is terrified and prays super hard and because of this the demon is vanquished. he goes back to the rabbi and is like “dude wtf” and the rabbi was like “listen i know this is unorthodox but you’re well known for how good at praying you are and this demon has been terrorizing us for well over a month and we were desperate. we knew you wouldn’t die” and the guy was like “i didn’t know that!” who do you think is in the right? hm. tough question. anyway. what were we talking about again? oh right. what if you make your sukkah doorway 1/7 of a cubit too short. would that be fucked up or what

[he-harim]

As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.

[he-harim]

The Book of Alayne: Chapter 1

intro post | tag | AO3

It happened in the days of Robert Baratheon—the Robert Baratheon who reigned over a hundred and twenty-seven provinces of Westeros from the Iron Islands even unto Dorne.

In those days, when King Robert, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, occupied the Iron Throne in the imperial city King’s Landing, in the third year of his reign, he gave a banquet for all his councilors and courtiers – the elite of the Seven Kingdoms, the great Houses and the bannermen of the provinces in his service.  For no fewer than a hundred and eighty days he displayed the vast riches of his realm and the splendid glory of his majesty.

At the end of this period, the king gave a banquet for seven days in the Great Hall of the Red Keep for all the people who lived in King’s Landing, the imperial city, lords and smallfolk alike.

There were tapestries of crowned black stags on golden silks, fastened by cords of fine linen and worsted wool to golden rods and red marble columns; and there were couches of gold and silver on a terrace laid with porphyry, alabaster, mother-of-pearl, and mosaics of dragons.  As befits a king, wine was served in abundance – Arbor gold, Dornish reds, even vintages from the Jade Sea – filling golden goblets carved with the sigils of the Seven Kingdoms. And the rule for the drinking was, “No limits!” For the king had given orders to all the keep stewards to comply with every man’s pleasures.

In addition, Queen Cersei gave a banquet for women, in the Queen’s Ballroom of the royal keep of King Robert.

On the seventh day, when the king was merry with wine, he ordered Ser Barristan Selmy, Ser Arys Oakheart, Ser Boros Blount, Ser Jaime Lannister, Ser Mandon Moore, Ser Merywn Trant, and Ser Preston Greenfields, the seven eunuch Kingsguard in attendance on King Robert, to bring Queen Cersei before the king wearing only the royal diadem, to display her beauty to the smallfolk and the lords; for she was of comely appearance.  But Queen Cersei refused to come at the king’s command as conveyed by the Kingsguard. The king was greatly incensed, and his fury burned within him.

Then the king consulted his learned councilors, for it was the royal practice to turn to those who were versed in law and precedent.  His closest advisers were Lord Jon Arryn, Lord Roose Bolton, Lord Mace Tyrell, Lord Oberyn Martell, Sir Barristan Selmy of the Kingsguard, Grand Maester Pycelle, and Varys, master of whisperers: the Small Council of the Seven Kingdoms who had access to the royal presence and occupied the first place in the kingdom.

“What,” he asked, “shall be done, according to law, to Queen Cersei for failing to obey the command of King Robert as conveyed by the Kingsguard?”

Thereupon Varys declared in the presence of the king and the Small Council: “Queen Cersei has committed an offense not only against Your Majesty but also against all the lords and against all the peoples in all the provinces of Westeros.  For the queen’s behavior will make all wives despise their husbands, saying ‘King Robert ordered Queen Cersei to be brought before him, but she would not come!’  This very day the ladies of the Seven Kingdoms, who have heard of the queen’s behavior, will cite it to all Your Majesty’s vassals, and there will be no end of contempt and provocation!

“If it please Your Majesty, let a royal edict be issued by you, and let it be written into the laws of the Seven Kingdoms, so that it cannot be repealed, that Cersei shall never again enter the presence of King Robert. And let Your Majesty bestow her royal title upon another who is more worthy than she. Then will the judgment executed by Your Majesty resound throughout your realm, vast though it is; and all wives will treat their husbands with respect, lords and smallfolk alike.”

The proposal was approved by the king and the Small Council, and the king did as Varys proposed. Ravens were sent to all the provinces of Westeros, to every great House and to every bannerman of every lord, affirming that every man should dominate in his home with his own words.

to be continued...

[he-harim]

ik this was months ago you were looking for female Jewish music but have you been following RAZA at all? they just put out an album of women singing chasidic nigguns. i'm really enjoying it

oooh i haven't but they sound great!

so powerful to take the old melodies we would have been forbidden from singing in public, and now with a choir of women's voices layering and layering on the mournful instrumentation....

tbh i'm more interested in this album than many of the other feminist jewish musicians i've been recc'ed! i always count on your superb taste :)

[he-harim]

clearly they are attempting kiddush levana

ALT

shavua tov and happy new greggy (short for gregorian calendar year)

[he-harim]

Apropos of that post, there is a dog training technique whereby each day you put 100 ordinary kibbles in a jar and make it a goal to give them all to your dog by the end of the day. This creates a closer, more positive relationship between you and your dog, causing the dog to feel rewarded by doing simple things that you want it to do, such as sitting quietly during mealtime

Now. The rabbis recommend saying 100 brachas a day. Do you see where I’m going with this

[he-harim]

i keep thinking about the number of parrots and mimicking birds that say love you! as part of their vocabulary. how often they must hear that in order to learn it as a song.

when i was a child and learning how to train dogs, we were warned against using puppy too much around the dog - it might get confused and think the word puppy was a name. we were supposed to use mostly command words - keep it simple and clear.

but when my dog is in the middle of a nightmare, i say i love you to him, and he calms down. i say i love you! and he starts wiggling, delighted. when i first rescued him, i love you got no reaction. he understood i love you! before he understood what stairs are. the first thing i ever trained him to understand, maybe, before even his name: i love you.

my sister used to say i love you! and her cat would come running. he knew his name, too, but her voice saying i love you was enough.

there's some debate about how many words our pets understand. maybe they understand the tone more than the actual word. science almost always seems to be coming out with new exciting information about just how much animals can learn and understand language. it often more seems that the only true barrier is that we don't understand them when they answer back.

goblin doesn't know it yet, but for the last 3 days, i've been telling him about the new bed i bought him. i had to save for a while in order to afford it - but it's specifically for big dogs like him, and (supposedly) won't flatten out after 6 months. it was twice as expensive as my own mattress, and i'm way-too-excited to give it to him. i keep reading him the stats - it says it'll help any joint pain! and one more sleep until it comes! he wiggles in joy at the tone in my voice, this thing i know i'm not really communicating, but something he seems to understand-anyway.

as of 7:30 AM today, the new bed is on the way. goblin is asleep on my couch, happily snoring. the truck is two towns over. i keep refreshing the delivery updates.

something about telling these creatures in our lives i love you, even knowing they can't understand exactly. even knowing each word in that phrase holds a concept maybe-outside of real communication's possibilities - to understand "i/you", to understand love, to understand holding love and passing it through you into something else. knowing, really, we've probably trained them with this phrase comes petting. and then saying it, over and over and over through the little lonely hours of our day.

hoping, with repetition and action and practice: we'll find a way to tell them anyway.

[he-harim]

the mishkan is a body.

it’s anointed with blood on its extremities to make it fit for service (shemot 29:12); the kohanim are anointed with blood on their extremities to make them fit for service (ibid, v.20)

it’s clothed in scarlet and purple and blue (26:1) and so are they (28:6). 

it has regular bloodflow, it consumes grain and meat and wine and oil, it has recognised agents who may enter and serve and it has foreign pathogens which are destroyed.

it has an element of the divine which inhabits and sanctifies it.

the mishkan is a body.

something is stored in the mishkan, which needs to be atoned for on a yearly basis (30:10). 

i don’t think it’s moral-ethical, cheshbon hanefesh-y, elul, type of atonement. the altar can’t sin! it’s made of metal and wood. and we have established other ways to atone for things.

we need an intertext to figure this one out, and it’s found in the gemara in zevachim 88b: the ketonet atones for shfichat damim, the michnasayim for gilui arayot, the mitznefet for arrogance, the avneit for hirhurim. the choshen mishpat for mistaken judgment, the efod for avoda zara, the me’il for lashon hara, and the tzitz for azut fanim.

again how can that be? the kohanim, if they had engaged in shfichat damim, would as far as i know be psulim to serve... and surely few of them were committing gilui arayot or avoda zara. why are these clothes on these people’s bodies doing this work?

i think what it means is, things we think we have worked through, or repress and are never aware of their impact on us in the first place - these things get stored in the body. they bubble up in ways and places we didn’t expect, disconnected from the scene of the crime.

“the body keeps the score.”

this is what it means that the bigdei kehuna are doing this purgatory work - our sins bubbling up through into the persons of the kohanim, their bodies. and this is what it means that the altar needs atonement.

all our sins - and remember, the mishkan, its gold and blue crimson purple, is from the money of the whole jewish people! - we think we work through them, and we do!, but they are stored like sex hormones in fat, like winter in the growth rings of trees, in the centre of us - the sins are stored in the mishkan.

this week i had to give a d’var torah at short notice and had these three elements (bigdei kehuna, atoning for the altar, the mizbeach is a body) rattling around and remembered the title of the book “the body keeps the score”, which i have never read.

i think it all came together nicely when i spoke and am posting it here to have, for critique, and so i can go back and source more stuff.

[he-harim]

Anyway this week reading Genesis I was musing on Jacob's folly in blessing Ephraim and Manasseh, Joseph's sons. This manipulative stinker thinks that just like he stole the birthright from Esau, so he can upend tradition and elevate Ephraim the younger son over Manasseh, and they're not even twins!

But that's not even the most interesting part. The best part is that Jacob lays it on REAL thick in Genesis 49 about how Joseph's kids are the most specialist ones ever. No other grandkids get a shoutout from Jacob on his deathbed. The rabbis say (compellingly tbh) that maybe Jacob wanted to publically acknowledge these boys since their mother was the daughter of an Egyptian priest, the ultimate idolators. Yes, I bet that was part of it. But the other part was obviously Jacob's confidence that Joseph's lineage would reign supreme throughout the generations. After all, isn't that what all those old prophetic dreams were about?

The dramatic irony is that over the generations, Ephraim and Manassah underperform as leaders. Half of Manassah even refuses the heritage of Caanan and lives across the Jordan. Joseph's descendents disappear with the 10 Lost Tribes like no one special. It's Judah and Benjamin who survive, from whom we trace our legacy as Jews.

Jacob was a horrible father and a lousy clairvoyant, who died thinking he'd got the upper hand on the birth order tradition, as if that's what's most important in a family. Judah, on the other hand, who accepts and atones for his mistakes, is a better father, brother, and leader, and from him is merited the Jewish people's future.