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he-rad-hader · 4 months
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he-rad-hader · 5 months
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seeing the logo of bill hader's production company at the end of a barry episode is so funny like here's the sickest thing a human has ever made and now here's a drawing from my daughters
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he-rad-hader · 6 months
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Bill Hader in the SNL skit “Vincent Price’s Christmas Special” (x)
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he-rad-hader · 7 months
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Freeze! You're under arrest for being so lovely. Copy this message to 10 other blogs that you think are beautiful and deserve it. Keep the game going and make others feel beautiful!!! 💟
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I forgot this has been sitting in my inbox for too long!! (I've been so inactive in Tumblr for a while, just reblogging every now and then I'm so sorry!!)
YOU are lovely!! 💖💗💞💓💗
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he-rad-hader · 8 months
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Bill Hader on what he did after his Emmy win
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he-rad-hader · 8 months
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real scary stories with bill hader
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he-rad-hader · 8 months
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Barry referencing Bill Hader’s previous work. [insp]
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he-rad-hader · 8 months
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A little bit?
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he-rad-hader · 8 months
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he-rad-hader · 8 months
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Holy shit Laser Cats is an early draft of Barry 😂
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Laser Cats (2006-2012) // Barry (2018-)
Requested by tangfastics
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he-rad-hader · 8 months
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HE
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he-rad-hader · 8 months
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Bill Hader on SNL (12/??)
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he-rad-hader · 8 months
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Bill Hader + moving posters - 2 / 3
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he-rad-hader · 8 months
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he-rad-hader · 9 months
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he-rad-hader · 9 months
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It was the height of COVID-19 when I first watched this and I was like, I hope Stefon does this again when we solve the problem 😂😂
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#sheer chaotic energy
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he-rad-hader · 9 months
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skyhigh | willy mclean
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summary: you get high with your boyfriend, he fucks you. it would be nice to do all of that at your shared place... right?
pairing: willy mclean x fem!reader
warnings: use of drugs (weed), smut - oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, sliiiight dumbification, spitting; fluff, pinch of angst and feeeeels. reader is in college, and i wrote it with a slight age gap in my mind, but ages of the characters aren't specified.
word count: 5400 (approx)
a/n: alright, so this was supposed to be something completely different, but here you go. also idk if there are any willy/bill enthusiasts who will appreciate this, but if you're one of them, don't be scared to let me know!!! O:)))
all mistakes are my own.
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It’s already a few hours after your shift when you find yourself standing in front of your mirror, giving yourself a quick final touch-up before you head to the pool. You smooth down your red summer dress, smiling at the way it hugs your figure before walking to your bed and sitting on your sheets to slide into your white, worn-out Converse. As you bend over, you reach under your bed.
You pull out a wooden box covered in various, colorful stickers – popsicles, Route 66, a "dill-ightful" pickle, logos of nature reserves, and your newest addition – the Boise public pool sticker. No, they didn’t initially have them, but Willy is too weak to resist your puppy dog eyes and your sweet-sounding pleas especially when your body is glistening with water. And you adore him for it.
A soft snort escapes your mouth at the irony. When you open this innocently looking box, a gift from your religious grandmother when you were 11, you find not-so-innocent items, probably causing your Nana to close the heavenly gates for you if God truly exists. A purple vibrator, a polaroid of Willy and you naked in the bed of his truck, and the main reason you opened this unholy chest – a bag of ground weed, rolling papers, and filters. You grab one of each, along with the bag of weed, and quickly stow them into your petite backpack. Closing the box, you shove it back under the bed before putting on a thick, patterned cardigan that’s too big for you and throwing your bag over your shoulder.
You say goodbye to your parents, assuring them you’ll be safe. Then you hop on your bike and pedal towards the pool, basking in the golden rays of the setting sun. Upon arriving at the gate, you are greeted by the soft music coming from Willy’s office, and as you’re trying to close the gate without letting go of your bike, a loud distorted sound of a human voice makes you jump.
"This is private property, and just because the delinquent happens to be a pretty lady doesn’t mean there will be no consequences!"
You turn to the origin of the voice and see Willy leaning out of the poolside kiosk with a smile hidden by the megaphone in his hand. You roll your eyes at his antics.
"I’m lucky I know the manager," you retort.
Willy puts the megaphone down and jumps over the counter to meet you. You lean the bike against the wall to give him a warm welcome.
"The manager should also report all the sweaters that have been stolen from him. It’s weird, you always appear in the ones that have gone missing," he says as he reaches for you, tugging on the wool covering you.
"So weird," you confirm, putting your arms around his neck as you press against him and your lips meet in a slow kiss, awakening the butterflies that were ready to start tickling your insides since the moment you left your house.
Willy’s hands start to wander too, sliding under the hem of his cardigan. His fingertips brush against your thighs, igniting a feeling in you that forces you to press against him even more. But you pull away, removing your arms from around his neck, and your fingers circle his wrists, stopping his roaming.
"Come on, I just got here," you say, stepping around him and heading towards his office.
He sighs.
"Exactly. No time to waste time," he says, but instead of following you, he walks towards your bike to lock it into the storage room.
When he finally comes into the office, you’ve already shrugged off his sweater, so now you’re standing at his desk, your hips softly moving to the music playing from the radio as you rummage through your bag. More of your skin is exposed and Willy’s cock twitches at the sight. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, telling himself to wait, before he walks towards you.
His palm touches your back once he’s close, and his larger frame towers over you as he watches you. You finally find what you were searching for and turn to him, holding your palms up – one with the baggy and the other holding the papers.
"I’ve got it," you say with a big, gleeful smile on your face, your chest heaving from excitement.
You have smoked only a handful of times, most of which you didn’t even enjoy because it was either to fit in or you didn’t pace yourself, mixing it with all kinds of alcohol which always resulted in you spending the rest of the night throwing up until sunrise, feeling like shit the following day.
Then, you started working at the pool and met Willy, who told you you had been doing it all wrong and with wrong people. He was more than willing to show you the ropes. It was the night you got your first shotgun, and also the night Willy rejected you because he didn’t want to take advantage of you.
But oh, how much he wanted to fuck your brains out that nigh, you have no idea. But it doesn’t matter because he got to do it anyway when you were both sober. At least, you were sober; he was… kind of sober.
His eyes narrow at you as he crosses his arms over his chest.
"Are you using me just to roll joints for you? Is that what it is?" he asks playfully.
"Yes, you are actually my side piece to my side piece, and you happened to be excellent at rolling joints, that’s what’s keeping you your place."
"You’re a brat; I can’t believe I’m still putting up with this kind of behavior," he teases, taking the contents from your hands and going to sit on the small couch you gave him after it had been kind of uselessly sitting in your basement. It was a shame to throw it away and since Willy could use one in his office, you talked him into taking it.
You’d never say it out loud, but you love watching him roll one, imagining what those skillful hands did to you everytime you were tangled in blankets and sheets. You are also sure he knows.
You sit down next to him, kneeling on the soft cushions and turnning your body to face him. Once he’s finished, he pulls out a lighter and turns to you, one leg bent in the knee on the cushions and his arm extended over the back pillows, just enough for his fingers to reach your face if he wanted to.
"Did you bring your big girl pants to have the first hit this time or is tempting me the only thing you care about?" he raises an eyebrow as his eyes casually scan your figure, lingering on your cleavage, and then your bare legs.
You take the joint from him and put it between your lips. He mumbles an alright as he lights the twisted end. As you inhale, you feel the smoke irritate your esophagus and lungs, causing you to cough.
"Good girl," he says proudly, though what you just displayed was pathetic. You hand the cigarette back to Willy, and he immediately takes a hit without blinking an eye. His fingers start to play with your hair lazily, twirling it around his fingers, and once you calm down and wipe away the tears from your eyes, he speaks again.
"You look beautiful."
His sincerity makes your heart swell. You really couldn’t be happier without Willy being the perfect mix of a sarcastic asshole, teasing menace, and at the same time, the most loving boyfriend. And it’s not the lightheadedness talking.
You take his hand that’s still toying with your hair and kiss his palm before springing up and leaning into him to kiss his lips. But before he has the chance to react and put his hand on the back of your head to pull you in even more, you sit your ass back down on your heels.
"Wanna try again?" he passes you the joint and you take it, putting it in your mouth and inhaling again. You manage to hold the smoke in your lungs this time before puffing it out. Then you take another strong hit, and Willy laughs. "Geez Louise, slow down."
He takes the joint from you and puts it on the edge of the ashtray. Just as he leans back against the couch, the smoke comes out of your mouth and nose.
His hand lands on your thigh, stroking your skin, and you shudder at his touch. Feeling more clingy and horny, you move to straddle his hips, forcing his foot to hit the floor. His hands immediately get a hold of your hips, his thumbs pressing into the crease between your thighs and torso. You lean over him, his head tilting back against the top of the back pillows as your fingers tangle into his hair.
At one point, you tug at his strands and grind into his lap, making him groan and push up against you while he squeezes the meat of your ass. His hands then slide under your dress, pushing the hem up your thighs until he discovers that you’re not wearing panties. He groans again and uses his strength to manhandle you onto your back, laying you out on the cushions.
"Not only am I going to hell; you’re gonna make me the devil’s right hand, I swear to God," he says, his lips brushing against yours, making you giggle.
"I can give you my right hand, right now," you tease, reaching your hand down to touch him over his shorts; his cock is already getting hard.
He kisses you again and it’s the filthiest kiss you might have ever received. You’re not complaining. His tongue slips into your mouth, your teeth clash against each other, and a string of spit connects your lips when he slightly pulls away before touching his lips to yours again.
His hand that’s not holding him up starts roaming your body, eventually settling on your breast, squeezing it, and pinching your nipple with his thumb and index finger. You moan at the feeling, arching your back, not only to show how appreciative you and your body are, but also to encourage him to do more.
"What do you want, hm?" he asks as he disconnects your lips.
He loves the way you look in this moment. Splayed under him, your mouth slightly agape, kiss bruised as it let puffs of breath out of the heaving chest where his hand is currently resting. Your thighs spread out, resting against his hips as your pussy soaks his shorts.
You were speechless, too. It’s a paradox, really. For how filthy you can get, all the things you let him do to you, even convincing him to take a picture of you two naked, and yet, you can’t get the words "fuck me" out of your mouth.
His heart is racing too, so when he speaks, it sounds like he’s just finished a marathon.
"You want me to touch you?" he slides down your body just a little so he’s able to lay kisses on your neck, your hand losing the grip on his crotch. "Want me to touch your pretty pussy, hm?" he sucks a bruise into your skin, marking you for your friends, colleagues, the little gremlins that piss in his pool every day, and their creepy dads to see.
"Uh-uh," you manage to moan out.
"Uh-uh, what?" he starts to kiss your chest, leaving trails of kisses over the top of your breasts. He tangles your fingers together and lifts your arm, steering his lips towards your collarbone, over your shoulder, and down your bicep, before kissing back up to your neck.
He lifts his head and lets his eyes rake over your body again, stopping to admire the way your pussy’s pressed up against him. His hips automatically shift a little to get some friction before his eyes are brought back to your face by your whimper.
 "Do you want me to touch you with my fingers?" He asks as he brings them to your lips, lightly pulling your bottom lip down into a pout with his thumb.
"Or my mouth?" He lightly kisses you.
"Or my cock?" He grinds into you. "You need to use your words, like the big girl you are.“
You lick your dry lips and gulp before whispering, "I want your mouth."
"Where do you want my mouth? Come on, don’t save that big brain of yours for college," he says and strokes his thumb over your forehead. "Tell me."
"I want your mouth between my legs."
He smiles a little. "Alright."
He slides down your body, kissing your breasts over your dress before kneeling on the floor and angling your body so he can access the parts he’s eager for.
He starts by kissing your knees, alternating between the right left, before moving his mouth up your legs, nipping at your skin, and creatingleaving behind additional sets of bruises. Your hands find their way into his hair, slightly pulling and scratching at his scalp. He can smell you when he gets close to your pussy, and he has to take a deep breath to prevent himself from diving straight into your heat.
But good God, you smell so good and to satiate his hunger, he inhales your scent and at the same time licks a broad stripe over the crease of your thighs, making you jolt as he finishes his tasting with a bite to your hipbone.
"Willy, come on," you whimper, pushing on his back, urging him to get to the place you need him the most.
"What, you said you wanted my mouth between your thighs. Isn’t this what you had in mind?"
It’s infuriating, the way his expression is fucking serious, mouth slightly agape in confusion, not a slight hint of teasing. He’s good.
Your voice shakes when you finally say, "I want your tongue on my pussy."
He finally smirks and leans down, but before touching you, he opens his mouth one more time.
"See, was it so hard?" His hot breath hits your lower lips, and then his arms circle your thighs, pulling you closer as he licks a stripe up your pussy with the flat of his tongue, gently sucking on your bundle of nerves when he glides over it. You moan at the feeling, your clit finally getting the relief after pulsing for the last 10 minutes.
"You taste so good, so fucking sweet."
He slurps up the ixture of your juices and his saliva before leaning back to take a look at your cunt. He swipes his thumb over your clit, sending electricity through your nerves, causing you to jerk your hips. Then he spits on you before quickly leaning back down and licking it back up. He flattens his tongue over your clit again and starts drawing circles with his head, drowning you in new sensations like he drowns his chin in your wetness.
You feel the knot in your abdomen tighten, your back arching as your thighs squeeze Willy’s head. He accommodates himself to your body’s act-up, gripping your thighs and scraping his blunt fingernails over your skin. His tongue slides down, slipping in and out of your hole as his nose brushes against your clit, lewd noises filling your ears and accompaniying the harmony still coming from the radio. Your moans get louder too, and for Willy, the combination of your slick pussy and desperate whimpers is a true masterpiece he would consider putting on Pitchfork if he wasn’t possessive.
Finally, the balloon of pleasure in your stomach bursts, and your body spasms with release as you throw your head back. As your lower body jerks, you push against Willy’s forehead to try to get him away from you. He circles your wrist and puts your hand away, your legs now resting on his shoulders. Your chest is still moving up and down as he watches you whisper oh my god and jesus christ, and he can’t help but lean in to lick your remaining juices one last time. You gasp and grab him by the collar of his t-shirt, pulling his face to yours.
"I love you so fucking much," you say and kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue.
His hand cups your jaw, and the pad of his thumb strokes your cheek before he lets his hand rest against your neck, gently feeling your pulse.
He pulls away and kneels on the floor again, turning towards the table and taking the forgotten joint, sucking in the smoke before putting it away again and bringing his face back to hover over yours. You stare into each other's eyes, his pupils wide, making his irises look black because you can’t to this day figure out the color of his eyes since it seems to change like the skin of a chameleon.
The pinch to your chin brings you back from your Land of Thoughts. Willy urges you to open your mouth slightly and then he’s leaning in, smoking the cloud from his lungs into yours. You inhale and hold before exhaling.
"Where did you go?" He asks with a smile on his face because you do look pretty, all fucked out and high in the sky.
"I love your eyes."
And the wings of Willy’s butterflies move, because when he was younger, kids used to make fun of his lazy eye. Now, he has the most beautiful girl beneath him, telling him she loves his eyes.
You giggle after a few seconds pass. "You’re blushing."
He rolls his eyes and sits on the couch, lifting your legs and placing them over his thighs.
"You ruined a sweet moment," he huffs, but you’re still giggling.
"So are you gonna fuck me or not?" you ask, and he turns his head toward you in surprise.
"Look at you, the grass’s finally working its magic," he says with a smirk, squeezing your calves.
"I need to get out of the dress though, I’m fucking soaked," you start to sit up, and he wiggles his eyebrows at you, causing you to roll your eyes. "Not like that."
"Should we check?" He asks with a smirk, already reaching his hand between your legs again, but you slap it away.
Except for that, you ignore his teasing and take your dress off, throwing it on the chair from where you are still sitting on the couch, meanwhile, Willy discards his shirt on the floor. You shuffle closer to him and move to straddle him, but he stops you by grabbing your neck.
"You think you deserve to be on top? Only girls who can handle their weed and use their fucking words get to be on top, okay?"
You only nod in response, and he chuckles.
"See, you can’t even answer me. Do I make your brain smaller?"
You’re so sensitive to everything now that each word coming out of his mouth makes you wetter. As you nod again, you can’t help but squeeze your thighs together to relieve some of the pressure, your thighs sticking together from all the juices that spilled out of you and that Willy helped spread over your skin.
"Aw, is your pussy eager for my cock already? Want me to help you out?" He asks mockingly, and you absolutely live for it.
"Yes, please," you whimper and he shoves you, your back hitting the cushions again. He slides his trunks down enough to let his cock out.
He wastes no time spitting into his hand and spreading it over your pussy, briefly sliding his two fingers into you before bringing them to his mouth to taste you. His other hand takes his long cock, the tip teasing your entrance before he slides it against the legth of your cunt, covering it in your cum.
You moan at the feeling of him grazing your clit and his balls being pressed against your hole, his tip reaching under your belly button. You take that opportunity to stroke him with your palm, but it doesn’t last long as he takes a hold of both your hands and puts your arms above your head.
"Those stay there, understood?"
"Yes."
Then he finally takes his cock and pushes inside of you. You both moan at the feeling. Willy reaches for the joint, offering it to you after taking a hit himself, but you shake your head. After tossing it into the ashtray, he doesn’t waste any time anymore and starts sliding in and out of you, slowly at first, savoring the sensation. It’s like the combination of your pussy wrapped around his cock and the heightened senses brought him into a paradise. And oh, it’s so fucking amazing. Not so much for you though, as you bring him out of his trance.
"Will, faster, please," he opens his eyes that he didn’t realize fell closed and the look on your face is enough to convince him to fulfill your wish.
"Faster? You want it hard?" And with that, he adjusts himself, grabbing your hips with bruising strength, lifting them in the air as he starts slamming into you quick and hard. "You want me to fucking ruin you, don’t you? Ruin this sweet pussy for everybody else."
He fucks into you at a blistering pace, pulling your hips to meet his, the skin of your ass slapping against his thighs, and you’re certain that the underside of your cheeks will be covered in bruises too. Your arms are still above your head, desperately looking for something to hold onto. Moans are falling out of your pretty lips and your breasts bounce up and down, like your body on his cock. He’s mesmerized by it, by you. The way you let him use you like this, being completely out of it, trusting him with everything at this moment.
And as he thinks about how vulnerable you are willing to be with him, it makes his cock twitch against your walls, bringing him closer to orgasm. So he lowers your hips and positions your calves on his shoulders, intesifying the stimulation with the change of angle.
"Will," you moan, and he brings his thumb to your bud, continuing to slam into you at a bruising pace.
"Yeah. Are you gonna cum? Come on."
The pad of his finger fiddles with your clit, making you convulse.
"I can feel this sweet pussy squeezing the fuck outta me. Let go, sweetheart. Be a good girl for me," he kisses your knee and all the sensations merge together, creating fireworks in your abdomen as come apart, and your pussy covers his cock in more juices.
Willy follows right after you, moaning your name as sweat drips down his chest. He stills and spills his cum into you, sliding out and back inside one last time before letting your legs down and lying over you.
He tries to hold himself up, though he doesn’t have much energy left, so you still feel the heavy weight of his body on yours. You don’t mind though, and instead of pushing him away, you bring him closer by wrapping your arms around his back. A couple of minutes won’t kill you, and if it does, you’ll die the happiest woman in the arms of the happiest man.
You’re both in a state of euphoria, coming down from your highs – at least the orgasmic ones. Every part of your body is sticky with sweat and other bodily fluids, warm breaths brushing against each other’s ears.
You trace unrecognizable patterns on his back, lightly scratching your nails against his skin. As you crane your neck to lay a few kisses on his neck, you feel the goosebumps rise on his skin from your affection. When you open your mouth to tease him about it, you realize that it’s getting hard to breathe.
"Willy," you rasp out, and he immediately understands. He pulls out of you, making you whimper. He pushes himself up, but in no way is he losing that delicious physical contact with you. He guides you up by your arms with him, lying on his back and bringing you down on him, so now your heads are at the opposite end of the couch.
He is now tracing his fingers over your back before sliding his hand down to knead your ass. You purr in satisfaction, the weed helping helping you feel comfortable even on this small couch with cum still leaking out of you. For you, it’s really like a spa. Better, even.
"We’ll need to clean this couch," you mumble with your cheek pressed against his chest, the tip of your nose tickling his neck.
"You want to wash it just to get it filthy again?"
You hum, even though he’s right.
"I can’t wait to find our own home," you say absentmindedly, causing Willy to open his eyes.
"What?" he whispers, and you lift your head to meet his gaze.
"Our own place. You know, like an apartment," you explain, noticing the frown on his face. The crease between his eyebrows tells you that he did not expect you to bring this up at all.
Your cheeks get hot again, and suddenly, you feel exposed, lying naked on his body, not even a blanket covering you.
"Or not. No, this is fine. Sorry. You’ve probably never considered living with someone who still works part-time," you laugh nervously and your heart suddenly becomes a competitor in a race.
And Jesus, the weed isn’t helping either; it’s making your eyes water. Why couldn‘t you keep your fucking mouth shut for once. This is getting ridiculous and you’re embarrassed, so you sit up and reach for the discarded t-shirt he previously threw on the floor, still rambling.
"Forget I said anything. We can keep meeting up until you find someone… you know," at this point, you aren‘t even sure what he wants and you don’t want to say anything too out of hand.
"Honey…" he starts, but it sounds like it’s full of pity, so you stop him as your head emerges from the collar of the shirt you’re putting on. You also notice that he sat up too, his shorts back in their place around his hips-
"No, I’m stupid and high, don’t worry about it," you say while trying to make yourself look busy. Despite your efforts to appear as natural as you can in this situation, your mind remains clouded by the weed, leaving you fumbling with your already-tied shoes that you haven’t taken off the entire time.
His heart breaks because he has never seen you this uncomfortable and disappointed, not event the night you first shared a smoke. The weed is making him too slow to react the way he wants to react. He is also overwhelmed by numerous emotions and doesn’t know which one he should let out first.
He wants to kiss you all over for insinuating you want so much more than this. He wants to ask you, what the fuck?
It's no like he has ever considered the possibility of your relationship ending, but deep down, there was this certainty that you might grow apart once you go back to college.
He also wants to hug the fuck out of you, seeing how hard you’re trying to act normal, but you’re just senselessly fumbling with your shoestrings, and oh no, now you’ve started crying too.
You didn’t even realize the tears spilled from your eyes until a teardrop landed on your hand.
"Oh, my God," you say, frustration filling your voice as you sit up and press the heels of your palms into your eyes.
"Wait, sweetheart, don’t cry," Willy finally comes to his senses – as much as he can under the influence – and kneels on the floor in front of you, putting his hands on your knees and stroking your skin. When you don’t look at him, he gently grabs your wrists, trying to pull your hands away from your face, but you refuse, shaking your hand as you let out a sob.
"Come on, please. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. You‘re the one with a big brain, remember? I kinda came short on that one," he tries to joke.
"I don’t want to cry in front of you like this."
"Why not? You’re pretty even when you cry."
"Shut up."
"Sorry."
You hate when someone tries to make you feel better by complimenting you when it’s not what you need. But he honestly can’t help it, because you are always pretty.
"Let’s talk about it then, alright? As well as we can with our smoked-out minds, hm?"
You giggle at that because your minds really were foggy. So you move your hands, finally revealing your face. You look like a mess, but despite that, Willy still thinks you are beautiful.
"There she is," he smiles and his first instinct is to wipe away the stray tears from your cheeks with his thumbs.
"So let me start by saying that you’re not stupid, alright? You are the smartest person I know. Maybe after Einstein. And Hawking. And maybe Newton –"
 "You’re an asshole," you say with a smile on your face, lifting your leg and lightly shoving him with the sole of your shoe. But before you manage to put your foot down, he grips your ankle and holds your leg up.
"Seriously, look at what you did to your shoelaces."
Yeah, he has a point. Your shoelaces have like 20 knots on them, you don’t know how you managed that. Trying to contain your smile, you roll your eyes. He puts your foot down and grasps the edge of the couch, caging you in.
"Okay. So, don’t ever say you’re stupid. This is not stupid. Second, I love spending time with someone who works a part-time job, what are you talking about? My girlfriend works a part-time job, so if you have a problem with her or her job, you have a problem with me, alright?"
Such a cheesecake.
"And I can’t believe you want me to find someone normal. So I’m saying this in all seriousness, I’m in love with you. I want to spend a lifetime with you. And I will be more than happy to do that in our own shared home. Okay?"
You nod, but he’s not having it.
"No. Do you understand?"
"Yes!" you exclaim with wide eyes, partly annoyed that he’s pulling you out of that hole of self-pity, but the other part is happy that Willy is the type of guy who calls you out on your bullshit.
"Good!" he calls out with the same tone and pulls the same face as you, and this time, you can’t help the smile that breaks out on your face, causing Willy to smile too. The crinkles around his eyes tugging you in for a kiss, your hands cupping his scruffy cheeks.
After you pull away, it’s you who speaks first.
"I didn’t know you possessed so much knowledge about scientists."
"See, you make my brain bigger too, not just my dick."
You roll your eyes at him again.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
When you settled back into the couch, this time with your shirt-covered back against his bare chest, you exchange some gossip, smoke some more, laugh at silly jokes, smoke some more, talk about going on a camping trip, dance to the music coming from the radio and smoke some more.
You’re enjoying each other’s company, wrapped in the comfortable haze of the evening, until it’s interrupted by a loud banging on the door of the office, causing the both of you to nearly jump out of your skin.
"Police! Open the door, please."
You both sighed. You went to put the ashtray with the joint under the upside-down flowerpot that's shaped like a cat, meanwhile, Willy headed for the door.
As he opened it, there stood a police officer. He was about the same height as Willy, with short and a little darker hair, and a pair of thin glasses perched on his nose.
"Hi, I’m Officer Slater. Sorry for the disturbance, but we got a call about possible marijuana possession. And you know…" he said with a hint of sympathy, knowing you are fully aware this is just a formality.
He’s tired of these calls too.
"I just have to make sure, you’re not in possession of any drugs and we’re all good to go."
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a/n2: so, this was supposed to be a threesome fic with willy and slater. i still want to write that fic, that's why he made an appearance, so i could write a part 2 to this, but it could also be read as a solo fic.
again, idk how many bill fans actually care about fics, but if you do and have an opinion on this, i'll be happy to hear it!!
and if you're still reading and want to send in some requests for bill hader characters, go for it! i will try to get into some... no rules, no triggers, i'll either write it or not.
thank you for reading!!!! sending lots of love <333
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