heartbrkr

[heartbrkr]

This situation is disgusting, painful, and sickening to the core, but it is very real.

Idols, let's not forget, are real people with real lives, that we do not know, so their actions undoubtedly affect the people around them.

While it absolutely sucks that someone who had so much influence over our lives turned out to be so vile, and it definitely hurts for his fans, this is about the victim, and it always will be.

It is absolutely okay and acceptable to be upset by this whole situation, but the focus should be on the victim and getting them the justice they deserve.

Supporting Taeil from this point forward is disgusting and does absolutely nothing for showing solidarity with the victim or anyone else who has been victim to anything similar

And making up rumours about a situation like this is equally as disgusting, lying about something so serious for a moment of fame and spotlight? or to pretend we know more than we really do? Please let's avoid spreading misinformation and rumours. It's not respectful in the slightest.

[heartbrkr]

heyyyy can i request a jungwoo one?

where they both in a relationship, the reader is in college and struggling af with her academics, and jungwoo (with his idol schedule as we know it) as an older and bigger person always supports and is reliable AND OF COURSE always be the one to ease reader's mind/feeling LIKE he really is the one that reader needed no one else because everything feels enough when it comes to him.

sorry if this sounds too desperate im just so deep in the black hole of my academics like it's sucking the soul of mine i know i need to get a life. anywaaaay big big thanks for opening the request bar im praying for your happiness and bright days ahead <3

REQUEST All you need is a shoulder to cry on when college gets tough. Jungwoo's more than willing to be the one you need to feel at ease.

PAIRING kim jungwoo x gender neutral!reader

GENRE established relationship, angst, comfort

WORD COUNT 1.3k

WARNINGS bad eating and working habits, not proofread!

AUTHOR’S NOTE this was requested when i took a break from writing :( i'm so sorry it took me so long to get to it, lovely. i really hope you're doing better now & i'm rooting for you <3

MASTERLIST

The consistent hum from the air conditioning is the only noise you can barely tolerate during your study session; anything above fifty decibels will irritate you. You don’t realize you’ve been scrutinizing the same word— not even a sentence— over and over again until you’ve read it for the seventh time in 10 minutes. Only then do you notice how empty you feel, nothing but acid and anxiety from this morning’s caffeine bubbling in your stomach. It’s irritating how your eyes start drying themselves too. 

You could use a break, but you don't think you deserve it; you didn’t hit your goal for the hour. (In your current capacity, you can’t register that it’s hopeless to juice anything out when there’s nothing to wring in the first place.)

On the right end of your desk are your messily stacked test papers from professors who refuse to hold their quizzes online, something about not being tech-savvy enough to do so. You initially ignored the scores when you tossed them aside. But the mind wishes to blow your final grain of self-esteem away by zeroing on the fact that you had failed your most recent exam by two points. Not shoving them in a random folder to hide them out of sight was your past self’s mistake.

Apparently, you haven’t learned your lesson with curious eyes because you glance over your left shoulder, desperate to distract yourself from your pitiful attempt to survive college. You vaguely see the ever growing pile of laundry that you haven’t had the time to tend to. Has it… always been that tall? Why does it only bother you now when it’s been that way for the whole week?

No tears are coming out, even if you actually want them to. At this moment, there’s nothing more annoying than that.

“Fuck,” you rub your eyes as you shut your laptop closed, “unrealistic goals be damned.” You mumble dryly to yourself before diving into your unmade bed; you can’t recall the last time it was made. It’s second to feeling like heaven when your head hits the softness of your pillow. First is when you’re with your boyfriend. To you, anywhere with Jungwoo is heaven on earth. 

Speaking of which, you could really use his company right now.

Your hand blindly fishes your phone out of the comforter’s creases to check the time. When you finally feel a rectangular block, you lazily turn your head left to face the glowing screen. Looking right back at you is a photo of you and Jungwoo, the latter grinning at you fondly after you surprised him with a bouquet of flowers to commemorate his final emcee gig. 11:39PM. He won’t be home until one in the morning or so.

The hours that pass feel closer to seven than two, your growling stomach and prodding headache not allowing you to get any proper rest. In the distance, you finally hear beeping and buzzing from the front door’s electronic lock followed by socked footfalls towards your room. Your head is telling you to welcome him properly, but your heart is grounding you into the mattress. The hinges on the door squeak.

When Jungwoo’s eyes drop to your sprawled figure, he thinks you’re asleep. He carefully caresses your arm with his thumb to wake you up quietly, knowing how you feel after a rough, monotonous day of studying and intaking more information than one can humanely process. Your partner fully understands what it’s like to give his all until there’s nothing left for himself; you’re aware he’s doing his best to prevent that from happening to you too. Still face-down on the cushion, you pull your arm away from his touch to hold it properly. He gladly accepts, more than pleased to caress that instead.

“The kitchen looks abandoned. Have you eaten anything?” When he speaks, it’s not abrupt, rather like a cloud drifting into the intimate space you two share.

Your muffled 'no' reaches no one’s ears, not even your own. It’s awkward, and a bit painful on your unstretched joints, to pull you up by the arm so he asks you if you can shift to a sitting position. You don’t want to burden him either with the work of flipping your whole body; he physically exerted himself the whole day, you don’t need to add to that. You push yourself up from your lying position and flop on the edge of the bed.

“Haven’t eaten since…” You pause. You hate that you have to think about it. “Last night. I only had time to grab a bottle of coffee from the fridge earlier.”

Jungwoo hides his exasperated expression as soon as it appears, intertwining both his hands with yours again. “I know it’s not the right time to lecture you because it’s the last thing we want right now. But you really can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

You start feeling guilty even though that’s opposite his intention. The idea of accidentally reopening Jungwoo’s old wounds is enough motivation to want to break out of your harmful work ethics. He sighs at your lack of response and attention, but it’s not one of irritation.

Pulling you up to stand, he gives you a proper warm hug. That was the key to release your frustrated teardrops from earlier. They keep going and going, and your blubbering intensifies because you know it’ll be hard to stop. “Why isn’t my best enough?”

He says nothing about how your tears seep into his shirt, just holding you closer. “You’re trying. That is enough.”

Jungwoo lets you cry and cry and cling onto him like your life depends on it; he’s unaware that he’s almost right on the money. You stopped attempting to speak completely because it’ll reset any progress you’ve made trying to manage your crying. His arms feel right cradling you; if you could, you’d stay in them forever. Your lover rubs your back to get those final sobs out of your system.

“How’re we feeling now? Better?” He gently asks, drying the remaining tears on your cheeks with his knuckles. You nod, still wary of using your voice, worried that there are still stray tears somewhere inside of you.

He rests you down back on the bed and joins you this time. Your head drops on his shoulder out of exhaustion. “I’ll order us some food. You want anything in particular?”

“I’m okay with whatever.” You mumble wetly, your vision focused on your interlaced fingers. Jungwoo’s other hand is busy, fiddling on his phone. You nudge him softly with your shoulder, he hums in question.

You rest your chin on the curve of his shoulder to admire his barefaced side profile. “You promised you’d let me pay the next time we order.”

Your boyfriend raises his eyebrow in faux confusion and turns his neck dramatically to face you. The proximity makes his teasing front falter slightly with a peeking grin. “Did I? I don’t remember. Oh well, next time then!” He promises that every time. And every time, he says he means it. (He never does).

Jungwoo attempts to set the table up to the best of his abilities. You tried helping him out but he shooed you away, forcing you on the dining chair. Before the meal, he calls for your attention. “We don’t have to talk about it now. I just wanted to say that breaks aren’t earned, okay? You’re doing great, even if you think otherwise.” 

It’ll take some time to get that through your head, he knows that, but you give him a small smile. “I’ll believe you.”

Over your too-late-to-be-dinner and too-early-to-be-breakfast meal— fully paid for by him, again— Jungwoo tells you how his day went, including his members’ usual shenanigans during rehearsals. He’ll never rush you to talk about what’s been going on because he respects the pace you prefer to go on; he’s confident you’ll tell him when you’re ready, you always do.

Right now, you just need him and he’ll always be there to ease you back on track, every step of the way.

[heartbrkr]

Omg you’re back!!! How r u?

HI RONI yes i am!!! life’s been hard as usual, but i’m getting by 🙂‍↕️ how abt you?

[heartbrkr]

📬 fic masterlists!

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☆ nct

★ txt

☆ tbz

[heartbrkr]

heartbrkr’s the boyz masterlist!

feedback and constructive criticism are always welcome

last updated august 7, 2024

☆ - personal fave works

eric sohn

drabbles

have you noticed already? 542 words | idiots in love, mutual pining, fluff

The violet sky is a witness of the lingering touches you and Eric share.

kim sunwoo

oneshots

a hindrance to peace 1.6k words | idolverse!au, established relationship, fluff, slight attempt at humor

You remembered at an inconvenient moment that you weren’t your boyfriend’s first kiss, nor lover.

[heartbrkr]

heartbrkr’s txt masterlist!

feedback and constructive criticism are always welcome

last updated august 7, 2024

☆ - personal fave works

choi soobin

oneshots

make you feel alright 1k words | established relationship, slight hurt/comfort

You weren’t looking, but you’ve found a gap in the clouds.

timestamps

1:04AM suggestive, humor

“At least Soobin knows how you feel about his new hair, more or less.”

tomorrow by together

scenarios

what txt would do on your birthday

REQUESTED What TXT would do and get for their significant other on their birthday.

[heartbrkr]

heyyyy can i request a jungwoo one?

where they both in a relationship, the reader is in college and struggling af with her academics, and jungwoo (with his idol schedule as we know it) as an older and bigger person always supports and is reliable AND OF COURSE always be the one to ease reader's mind/feeling LIKE he really is the one that reader needed no one else because everything feels enough when it comes to him.

sorry if this sounds too desperate im just so deep in the black hole of my academics like it's sucking the soul of mine i know i need to get a life. anywaaaay big big thanks for opening the request bar im praying for your happiness and bright days ahead <3

REQUEST All you need is a shoulder to cry on when college gets tough. Jungwoo's more than willing to be the one you need to feel at ease.

PAIRING kim jungwoo x gender neutral!reader

GENRE established relationship, angst, comfort

WORD COUNT 1.3k

WARNINGS bad eating and working habits, not proofread!

AUTHOR’S NOTE this was requested when i took a break from writing :( i'm so sorry it took me so long to get to it, lovely. i really hope you're doing better now & i'm rooting for you <3

MASTERLIST

The consistent hum from the air conditioning is the only noise you can barely tolerate during your study session; anything above fifty decibels will irritate you. You don’t realize you’ve been scrutinizing the same word— not even a sentence— over and over again until you’ve read it for the seventh time in 10 minutes. Only then do you notice how empty you feel, nothing but acid and anxiety from this morning’s caffeine bubbling in your stomach. It’s irritating how your eyes start drying themselves too. 

You could use a break, but you don't think you deserve it; you didn’t hit your goal for the hour. (In your current capacity, you can’t register that it’s hopeless to juice anything out when there’s nothing to wring in the first place.)

On the right end of your desk are your messily stacked test papers from professors who refuse to hold their quizzes online, something about not being tech-savvy enough to do so. You initially ignored the scores when you tossed them aside. But the mind wishes to blow your final grain of self-esteem away by zeroing on the fact that you had failed your most recent exam by two points. Not shoving them in a random folder to hide them out of sight was your past self’s mistake.

Apparently, you haven’t learned your lesson with curious eyes because you glance over your left shoulder, desperate to distract yourself from your pitiful attempt to survive college. You vaguely see the ever growing pile of laundry that you haven’t had the time to tend to. Has it… always been that tall? Why does it only bother you now when it’s been that way for the whole week?

No tears are coming out, even if you actually want them to. At this moment, there’s nothing more annoying than that.

“Fuck,” you rub your eyes as you shut your laptop closed, “unrealistic goals be damned.” You mumble dryly to yourself before diving into your unmade bed; you can’t recall the last time it was made. It’s second to feeling like heaven when your head hits the softness of your pillow. First is when you’re with your boyfriend. To you, anywhere with Jungwoo is heaven on earth. 

Speaking of which, you could really use his company right now.

Your hand blindly fishes your phone out of the comforter’s creases to check the time. When you finally feel a rectangular block, you lazily turn your head left to face the glowing screen. Looking right back at you is a photo of you and Jungwoo, the latter grinning at you fondly after you surprised him with a bouquet of flowers to commemorate his final emcee gig. 11:39PM. He won’t be home until one in the morning or so.

The hours that pass feel closer to seven than two, your growling stomach and prodding headache not allowing you to get any proper rest. In the distance, you finally hear beeping and buzzing from the front door’s electronic lock followed by socked footfalls towards your room. Your head is telling you to welcome him properly, but your heart is grounding you into the mattress. The hinges on the door squeak.

When Jungwoo’s eyes drop to your sprawled figure, he thinks you’re asleep. He carefully caresses your arm with his thumb to wake you up quietly, knowing how you feel after a rough, monotonous day of studying and intaking more information than one can humanely process. Your partner fully understands what it’s like to give his all until there’s nothing left for himself; you’re aware he’s doing his best to prevent that from happening to you too. Still face-down on the cushion, you pull your arm away from his touch to hold it properly. He gladly accepts, more than pleased to caress that instead.

“The kitchen looks abandoned. Have you eaten anything?” When he speaks, it’s not abrupt, rather like a cloud drifting into the intimate space you two share.

Your muffled 'no' reaches no one’s ears, not even your own. It’s awkward, and a bit painful on your unstretched joints, to pull you up by the arm so he asks you if you can shift to a sitting position. You don’t want to burden him either with the work of flipping your whole body; he physically exerted himself the whole day, you don’t need to add to that. You push yourself up from your lying position and flop on the edge of the bed.

“Haven’t eaten since…” You pause. You hate that you have to think about it. “Last night. I only had time to grab a bottle of coffee from the fridge earlier.”

Jungwoo hides his exasperated expression as soon as it appears, intertwining both his hands with yours again. “I know it’s not the right time to lecture you because it’s the last thing we want right now. But you really can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

You start feeling guilty even though that’s opposite his intention. The idea of accidentally reopening Jungwoo’s old wounds is enough motivation to want to break out of your harmful work ethics. He sighs at your lack of response and attention, but it’s not one of irritation.

Pulling you up to stand, he gives you a proper warm hug. That was the key to release your frustrated teardrops from earlier. They keep going and going, and your blubbering intensifies because you know it’ll be hard to stop. “Why isn’t my best enough?”

He says nothing about how your tears seep into his shirt, just holding you closer. “You’re trying. That is enough.”

Jungwoo lets you cry and cry and cling onto him like your life depends on it; he’s unaware that he’s almost right on the money. You stopped attempting to speak completely because it’ll reset any progress you’ve made trying to manage your crying. His arms feel right cradling you; if you could, you’d stay in them forever. Your lover rubs your back to get those final sobs out of your system.

“How’re we feeling now? Better?” He gently asks, drying the remaining tears on your cheeks with his knuckles. You nod, still wary of using your voice, worried that there are still stray tears somewhere inside of you.

He rests you down back on the bed and joins you this time. Your head drops on his shoulder out of exhaustion. “I’ll order us some food. You want anything in particular?”

“I’m okay with whatever.” You mumble wetly, your vision focused on your interlaced fingers. Jungwoo’s other hand is busy, fiddling on his phone. You nudge him softly with your shoulder, he hums in question.

You rest your chin on the curve of his shoulder to admire his barefaced side profile. “You promised you’d let me pay the next time we order.”

Your boyfriend raises his eyebrow in faux confusion and turns his neck dramatically to face you. The proximity makes his teasing front falter slightly with a peeking grin. “Did I? I don’t remember. Oh well, next time then!” He promises that every time. And every time, he says he means it. (He never does).

Jungwoo attempts to set the table up to the best of his abilities. You tried helping him out but he shooed you away, forcing you on the dining chair. Before the meal, he calls for your attention. “We don’t have to talk about it now. I just wanted to say that breaks aren’t earned, okay? You’re doing great, even if you think otherwise.” 

It’ll take some time to get that through your head, he knows that, but you give him a small smile. “I’ll believe you.”

Over your too-late-to-be-dinner and too-early-to-be-breakfast meal— fully paid for by him, again— Jungwoo tells you how his day went, including his members’ usual shenanigans during rehearsals. He’ll never rush you to talk about what’s been going on because he respects the pace you prefer to go on; he’s confident you’ll tell him when you’re ready, you always do.

Right now, you just need him and he’ll always be there to ease you back on track, every step of the way.

[heartbrkr]

hi it’s been a little bit.. i’m thinking of coming back!!! but i don’t know what to write!!!

[heartbrkr]

Hi! Can I please request a haechan one where reader’s sick and he has to take care of them? it can be f2l or established relationship, any is fine :))) thank you!

REQUEST You're sick and you forget to tell Haechan. He has his ways of finding out.

PAIRING lee haechan x gender neutral!reader

GENRE established relationship, sick fic, fluff, very slight angst if you look closer

WORD COUNT 1k

AUTHOR’S NOTE sorry this took me a while! i was supposed to write.. like.. only 800 words, but i clearly got carried away. enjoy! (not proofread)

You’ve given up trying to balance the mucus in your nose by shifting from right to left over and over again. Lying on your back, you guess it’ll be better to clog your throat with snot instead of fishing around for a stray tissue used an hour ago. You’ll build a glob of slime at the back of your throat until you can spit it out in one go; blowing your nose every other minute has made your columella sensitive and red with irritation.

The sickness has reached the extent that checking your phone for a split second could burn a rectangular hole through your head. You had no idea it was even a flu and a fever before Seoyeon had stuck a thermometer under your tongue the other morning.

Two rapid knocks echo throughout your still, dim room. Speak— well, think— of the devil. “Y/N! It’s three. You haven’t left your room yet!” You let out a groan, followed by a cough, in response, knowing she won't hear. You still get annoyed that she doesn’t. With how stagnant your room is, you could vaguely hear your flatmate sigh on the other side, followed by a suit yourself and fading footsteps.

Barely thirty minutes pass before someone knocks on your door again; it’s gentler than the one from earlier. But they all sound the same to you and your throbbing head.

“Seoyeon, go away.” You croak through your rusty throat, mean-intent still evident. You roll over to unceremoniously spit into the strategically put trash can by your bedside and wipe any excess saliva with the closest napkin.

You assume the recipient of your words has gotten the message, but they invite themself inside anyway. “Oh, she wasn’t kidding when she said your room is stuffy.” A voice that belonged to a man spoke. Fear almost washed over you before you realized it was your boyfriend… that you accidentally ignored when your illness got worse. Shit. You feel yourself getting worse than a few minutes ago.

Haechan’s outline strides over to draw your curtains open and you hide under the duvet before a streak of sun can meet your body. The creaking of the windows opening is muted. With your temporarily weakened physique, you’re no match against Haechan’s sudden tug at the blanket you clung onto to cover yourself. “No! Haechan, give it back!”

He pauses for a moment, and you take the chance to pull it back up. Your victory is short lived, however. “I would, but you ghosted me, so no blanket for you!” 

Now bare (you’re exaggerating; you still have your slightly sweaty pajamas on) to your partner’s sight, you pathetically put a pillow on your face so you don’t have to see his reaction. You mumble a halfhearted apology under it.

“I can’t hear you, babe. Let me see your pretty face please.”

“It isn’t when it’s covered in snot and sweat.” He can kind of hear the essence of what you said and frowns to himself.

“C’mon. I won’t make fun of you.” 

It takes you some seconds to contemplate it, but you groggily try to sit up, one arm still holding the cushion to your face while the other supports your weight and balance. You’re startled when another pair of hands help you up and you hear Haechan chuckle. You whine. “You said you won’t laugh!”

He intentionally ignores your remark, going back to the topic at hand. “Why did I have to find out through your roommate that you were sick?”

The tension adds to the already stuffy environment you’ve built up the past few days. It’s suffocating, so you lower the pillow down to your lap. Your head hangs immediately and you catch Haechan through your peripheral vision standing on the right side of your bed, his arms crossed against his chest.

“It’s… I don't know. I’m also sensitive-er. Doesn’t taking care of your partner of barely six months sound too intimate?” You utter while looking down at the simple floral patterned pillowcase.

“Not necessarily. Though I do think that should be the last thing on your mind when you look like you’re dying.”

At that, you finally turn to look at him for the first time this week, and your boyfriend really doesn’t mind your unruly head of hair or fully flushed features. His face melts in fondness and worriedness. “There you are,” he looks a little sullen before continuing. You can tell he’s trying his best to lessen it. “Y’know, I was worried I did something wrong. Thought you were planning to peter out of this relationship or whatever.”

This revelation alarms you, your head starts to spin with how abruptly you shook your head. You lift a hand up to cover your eyes. In your best attempt, you respond weakly. “I would never! I really like you… I guess. If anything, I think you’d try to peter out on purpose first.” He takes a seat in front of you and puts a comforting hand on your thigh. “Hey, don’t be like that. We’re working on our problems together, remember?” You solemnly nod.

“Also, what do you mean, you guess you like me?! Say it like you mean it!”

You laugh at him heartily until it transitions to a fit of thick coughs, immediately looking the other way to avoid giving Haechan whatever sickness you have. He looks like he’s about to start tearing up with the way he’s snickering back. You push him and clear your throat before speaking again. “Thanks for coming. But you should leave.”

Immune to your straightforward wording, he ignores you and points at the new paper bags you failed to notice on your bedside. He stands to rummage through them to show you his haul. “Let's eat! I got us takeout. And more meds. I also refilled your water before coming in here.”

You shield your face away from the world once more to hide any hint of flusteredness caused by Haechan. He’s not having it, prying away your palms to give you a playful grin.

“Thank you, Haechan.”

“I love you, Y/N.” You hit yourself with a pillow again.

[heartbrkr]

aftermath of arguing with mark

highly requested! i wasn’t planning to make another part, but here it is

part one | MASTERLIST

[heartbrkr]

also just wanted to put it out there, if you like my work, it’d mean to world to me if you could tip me on my kofi! only if you have the means to do so of course 🥹💘

[heartbrkr]

Hi! ^^ I was wondering if you could do an enemies to lovers or rivals to lovers with Haechannn? This trope and Donghyuck makes me want to SCREAM ㅜㅜ I’d understand if u can’t bc it would be a bit harder on a text format but thank you if u ever do!

hey! thank you so much for your request <3

it was a bit different from what i’m used to writing since i don’t rly consume e2l media (i know.. i know..), but i love challenging myself! that’s why it might be a bit off though haha

[heartbrkr]

enemies to lovers with haechan

requested! implied side mark and mina relationship

MASTERLIST

[heartbrkr]

i'm seeing people losing hope for palestine i'm begging you seriously please don't. the death toll is high but there are still people alive, there are still journalists risking everything to make sure the world sees what is happening. please continue protesting if you have the option to, keep demanding for a ceasefire and keep talking about palestinians both alive and dead. you have to keep going until the very end or else you really did fail them.

[heartbrkr]

LOSING MY MINDDD AT THE COMMENTS UNDER THIS 😭 sorry yall..

argument with boyfriend mark

requested. mark’s friends (not nct) are implied assholes

[heartbrkr]

okay.. one last req and then i’ll finally get back on track with of city streets and wrong digits oh my god

[heartbrkr]

omg i didn’t expect the reception to the argument texts with mark 😭 i was planning to just leave the ending as is LOL i’ll think abt a part two though