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Real asf This is literally the realest shit anyones ever said

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because sharks are smooth their skin reduces drag

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hitting return early on libby when there's people waiting and feeling like a benevolent queen distributing alms to the poor

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I call myself a comic artist but I actually just post 1 comic every 3 months

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i love all the stupid Bad Kids bits that become canon like

riz has full body tattoos. fabian wears size 5 shoes. riz throws up when he gets too excited. kristen has handcuffs engraved with her and tracker’s initials. fig has fishnets made from the hairnet of the lunch lady that adaine murdered. gorgug tried to make a mechanical butt for the hangman to shit out of. fig is blocked on chungledown bim’s phone. adaine made coach daybreak shit his pants and then they convinced ragh that he shit his pants. kristen and tracker 69 so often with so little care to if someone sees them that the others have learned to knock on every door in the manor before going in. fabian briefly forgot riz’s name because he called him “the ball” so much. gorgug sung a song about not getting mad to his barbarian teacher. adaine, this prim and proper sweetheart, consistently chooses violence when dealing with her bio family. kristen created swamp venice. riz tried to get fabian to put dayne’s eye into his own eye socket. gorgug wears size 19 canvas shoes. fabian has pirate porn on his computer. fig disguised herself as a gnome and drove him to kill himself. gorgug wanted to ask a literal vulture if it was his dad, but the vulture flew away before he could. riz hisses at people. all of them are viral online for live-streaming a drunken shrimp party. what the fuck

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When the pharaoh is being a bitch so you bring out the tzefardea

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this is basically a short horror film

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Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don’t know, that gaslight gatekeep girlboss meme, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you think modern feminism has been co-opted by corporations. But what you don’t know is that that meme is not from Instagram, it's not from Twitter, it's not from Tiktok, it’s actually from Tumblr. You’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in January 2021, Tumblr user missnumber1111 posted, "today's agenda: gaslight gatekeep and most importantly girlboss." And then I think it was a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e, wasn’t it, who reblogged it with an image of the phrase edited over a piece of "Live, Laugh, Love" wall art? And then gaslight gatekeep girlboss showed up in the feeds of eight different Twitter repost accounts. Then it filtered down through Instagram and then trickled on down into some tragic “alt side of Tiktok” where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that meme represents millions of notes and countless Tumblr users and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from Tumblr when, in fact, you’re wearing the meme that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of “stuff.”

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lately ive been bedridden with a terrible case of i dont wanna

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Eeveelutions 2.0!

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Rose McIver will be like "is anyone else going to play a character stuck in supernatural circumstances that alienates her from the people around her?" and then not wait for an answer

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“the Pam to my Jim” “flirt to roast ratio” “fluent in sarcasm” “not political” “hobbies: travel” “debate me: the office or friends” “just here for your dog” “like Chandler and Monica” “girls on lexapro” “helen keller wasn’t real” “looking for a goth mommy” “pineapple does not go on pizza” “i’m a slytherin”

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Well the Zookeepers did a bad job telling me not to open the door to the face-eating leopard exhibit!

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Bread and circuses but no one can afford bread and the circus gets cancelled after two seasons