hecouldcomeintomycastle

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

Do not go gentle into that good knight. He likes to be fucked much harder than that.

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

love when fictional men are so devoted to their partner it makes them dangerous and insane. very slutty behavior keep it up king

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

speedrunning your guilt

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Reblogging my main! I wrote and posted this and then forgot to reblog it here. :) Another Robin Hood historical romance for the list.

"Damsel in Distress" by Shannon Drake

Avon, 1992 || Read and reviewed February/March 2025

Review 5 of 13 Robin Hood historical romances. If you’ve noticed that the total number has gone up, it’s because it has! For better or worse! Very few of these seem to hit the sweet spot being both a Robin Hood book and a romance novel. Unfortunately, “Damsel in Distress” by Shannon Drake couldn’t decide what it wanted to be, and kind of failed at being either.

This book opens with a prologue that only serves to stress that the only way for England to know peace is through the existence of good nobles who rule over their feudal lands fairly and serve the King because he is inherently good and wise. Which is not the start to any decent Robin Hood book.

Kat's father explains to her:

“Most laws are good. They protect men. Even the way that we live is good. You see, the peasants and the villeins, people such as this, they work for us, as well as tilling their own little pieces of tenant land. And we protect them within our castle walls. We settle their disputes. We hold court over our serfs.”

“Damsel in Distress” follows the unconvincing romance of Katherine and Damian, who are both Robin’s cousins. On opposite sides of the family – it’s okay, don’t worry about it. Readers were reassured that the mutual cousin thing was not a big deal at every opportunity. Both Kat and Damian, while they don’t live as outlaws full-time, have alternate personas (Lady Greensleeves and The Silver Sword) that they use while separately gallivanting about the forest helping people. Apparently, they both have quite the reputation, equal to that of Robin’s. I didn’t see much evidence for them deserving their reputations, but okay.

I could give an overview of the plot, but it feels too convoluted to effectively write a summary. Perhaps that’s why the synopsis available online and the synopsis on the paperback don’t agree with each other. Here’s what I think is worth knowing: Damian has been given Kat’s hand in marriage by King Richard and they aren’t jazzed about it. Kat does not know that Damian is also The Silver Sword and allied with Robin, but Damian does know that Kat is Lady Greensleeves and allied with Robin. Kat does not know that he knows she is Lady Greensleeves. Robin knows everything. Actually, everyone around Kat seems to know everything, and she knows nothing.

In the novel itself, this wasn’t hard to follow, I promise. It was silly, but not hard to follow.

The plot mostly revolves (around and around, with dizzying repetition) how Kat absolutely DOES NOT want to be married to Damian. Damian, upon realizing that she is beautiful, does not mind so very much.

Reasons Kat does not want to be married:

She doesn’t want to lose her freedom to act as Lady Greensleeves, which is hilarious because I have no idea what she does as Lady Greensleeves, except share helpful information to Robin and run through the forest when she’s had enough of her family castle. She’s apparently well known… for something. I couldn’t begin to guess why.

In addition, she’s adamantly and vehemently of the mind that all Normans are inherently evil people. The only exception being her saint of a dead father, who was the only good Norman to have ever existed because he alone understood the plight of the common man who deserved to be subjugated fairly. (Man, I was so exhausted by this rhetoric.) Kat herself is only “half Norman” because her mother (also dead, of course) was Saxon, and she explains in the text that she doesn’t count as a regular Norman.

“Your father was a Norman lord!” “And a very special, unique man!”

Now feels like a good time to mention. Every other line of dialogue ended in an exclamation point. Visually, this was annoying. Worse, I have a very active inner reading voice, and my inner reading voice felt like nails on a chalkboard with all of these exclamation points. The above example is an argument, so it’s not the worst offender, but even breathless compliments or other softly spoken words included exclamation points. I was drowning in them, and it made it hard to want to keep reading.

The Robin Hood elements of this book were everywhere, but poorly used. That opening prologue includes people being cruelly punished for poaching and breaking forest law – classic opening for many a Robin Hood story. Robin is there, Will Scarlet, Tuck, and Little John get mentioned. Little John gets a few lines. Marian is also there!

Marian and Robin have one of the most intriguing romantic encounters in the whole book. After Robin, Damian (as the Silver Sword), and a wayward Kat hold up a caravan carrying stolen church reliquaries, who should (inexplicably) tumble out of the one the wagons but Marian. Apparently, we later learn, she and Robin were betrothed at one point, but then he was outlawed and they haven’t seen each other in a while. There’s some confusing backstory about how they parted on bad terms, which means that when Robin sees her, he goes completely white with shock, and barely recovers enough to get into an argument with her. She spits at him, she’s so mad. It was not so much “Oh shit, it’s her” but rather “Oh shit, it’s her.” Once Marian’s there, Robin is so completely useless at finishing up the robbery that Damian volunteers to escort her back to camp to separate them so business can conclude.

I enjoyed that more than anything else in the book. Marian does have a few other scenes, too, but they’re mostly plot convenience for information sharing. Oh well.

To my great confusion, while Lady Greensleeves and The Silver Sword were allied with Robin, they worked independently from each other. All three of them were supposed to have their own thing going on, even though all three of them had the same mission and ideals. I think the solution here was to have Damian and Kat be integrated into Robin’s world, rather than in its network. Maybe the author was afraid Robin would steal the story if he was more involved, but I didn’t understand why these two would choose to work independently when they have a cousin RIGHT THERE who is doing the same thing with more resources.

In case it wasn’t clear, I wasn’t a fan of this one. It’s unconvincing as a Robin Hood book. Even more unconvincing as a romance novel. It had plenty of the elements and bones of a romance novel; it’s actually the first proper “bodice ripper” of the Robin Hood romance novels that I’ve read! “Bodices” were ripped no less than three times. But at no point did I feel like Damian and Kat actually loved each other. I don’t know, wouldn’t it be nice if the hero and heroine of a romance novel actually loved each other? Weird ask, I guess.

Robin Hood shelf: for more Robin Hood book reviews

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

Another useless ramble.

I've breezed past the need to justify reading historical romance as a genre. You know, the idea that it's "lesser than" for one reason or another. I have no need to justify my reading to anyone. It's fun! So what! I like reading things that are fun!

But I'm starting to get worn down by the other thing people say to me about it, which usually goes something like: "I'm trying to figure out how this works in with you being a lesbian?" And then they wait to hear what I have to say. Usually I just shrug and say it doesn't matter, because it doesn't.

It's also none of anyone's business??

I'm enjoying reading it. :) That's all you need to know. :) Thank you. :) Please stop trying to equate my sexuality with my reading material. :)

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

me: "I want to read medieval historical romance" the online void of HR readers: "ALICE COLDBREATH"

To my great frustration, these books seem to be ONLY available on Amazon, most popularly via Kindle, and don't seem to be carried through any other bookseller. Even ordering through my indie bookstore would probably require THEM to order from Amazon. Yes, I also checked my libraries. Plural!

Seeing as I'm never buying a Kindle book again, and want to avoid buying from Amazon anyway, this has put me in a frustrating position. Amid censorship concerns, Kindle content lockdown, it just feels safer to own everything physical.

When I consider the possible censorship of romance novels, books like Coldbreath's which are seemingly ONLY available on Amazon feel the most at risk.

What's a reader to do? So I'm gritting my teeth and ordering the paperback editions before anything prevents me from doing so.

On a lighter note, the online void also recommends Laura Kinsale's Medieval Hearts books, Madeline Hunter, Margaret Moore, and a few others. I think the majority of medieval HR are older, tbh, and I have hope and faith in the used book market for if censorship laws DO come for romance novels.

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I went to Half Price Books and found these!! I'm over the moon and grateful to whoever undersold these to HPB so that they could, in turn, undersell them to me.

I really can't believe my good luck.

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

Stunning prose from my current read.

Incredible.

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

i can be so normal about knights. come closer

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

Pango Books doesn't know how to recommend books to me, lol.

What I purchase through their platform: 90s medieval historical romance with gorgeous covers

What they think I want, apparently:

No, ma'am. Not I.

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

I secretly read and finished "A Rose in Winter" by Shana Abe a while ago and didn't really talk about it. Mostly, I just didn't have strong feelings about it.

I think this is a great example of why tropes selling books doesn't work (for me). This book had every trope I wanted. It was exactly my preferred flavor, based on the trope ingredients. Childhood friends to lovers, separated by circumstances, brought back together after suffering apart, second chance romance, medieval setting. There's even a road trip for a good portion of the book.

Ultimately, reading this book felt like reading something on ao3, which isn't to say that ao3 or fanfiction is bad. It felt like I had chosen it based on its tags/tropes (true!), liked it well enough, and read it to the end despite story mis-steps and poor writing. Another similarity is how it felt like the author wrote it without a clear idea of the ending or structure. This happens, then this happens, here's some fluffy filler, etc. Kind of like it was written and posted weekly, with reviewer feedback in between.

I like reading fanfiction, so I didn't dislike reading something that felt akin to fanfiction. It just wasn't what I wanted.

Some things I liked:

Some really cute spooning cuddles during the road trip.

Damon (MMC) enjoyed giving Solange (FMC) a fair bit of body worship, and there's little I enjoy more than an MMC on his knees in awe of the FMC, ready to demonstrate how grateful he is to be with her.

Part of the later conflict in the relationship surrounds Damon being unable to deal with the trauma that Solange experienced during their time apart, so she keeps it to herself and the book discusses and shows how not being able to talk about it is adding harm.

2.5 is pretty generous as a rating, in my opinion, but I had fun going trope shopping with this book. It frustrated me and I feel let down, but I had fun. For the most part.

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

my friends, it is not illegal to recognize there are problematic elements to the content you enjoy. it’s called critical thinking. you can enjoy something and not turn a blind eye to the shit wrong with it. 

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

Like Water for Chocolate, Days of Being Wild, Les Félins

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

yearning is such a beautiful thing. what i love about yearning and slowburn is that while the romance progresses, you can get to know the characters better, which makes the audience see how deep the bond in the relationship is. all the small moments have meaning. every interaction, every thought, and every glance means something and is a way to emphasize how much love (platonic or romantic) the characters have for one another. there is something so beautiful about yearning because it's so human to want something so badly, but you have a part of you that is afraid you'll never get it. romantic or not, i love watching/reading characters find their person and learning all about each other, becoming so close and connected that it's hard to imagine life without the other. yearning to know more, yearning to be closer. it's so beautiful to me!

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

"The Prince of Midnight" by Laura Kinsale (1990)

What an absolutely wild book. It's a good thing I wasn't trying to predict where this book was going to go, because I would have failed. Insane (and perhaps unintentionally hilarious) from start to finish.

This was my first Laura Kinsale and I have no idea if this is where people usually start. I enjoyed the writing, and the characters were really fun! I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of Kinsale soon! (I'm eyeing "For My Lady's Heart" as my next one.)

Nothing could have prepared me for the cult. I don't think any of the synopses or recommendations I read mentioned that the external plot involves taking down a religious cult? The last third of the book was absolutely wild. I want to give a special shoutout to chapters 15 and 16 for going from 0 to 100 in such a gradual, insidious way. It was a masterful illustration of the inner workings of the cult, and really lulled the reader into thinking it might not be so bad, until it definitely is that bad.

I had a hard time believing in S.T. and Leigh as a couple, which took away from some of the enjoyment I might have had otherwise. Most of that comes from the transactional nature of the first several sex scenes. S.T. seems to think he's some kind of magnificent lover, but it really didn't seem like he gave two figs if Leigh experienced pleasure or not. Like clockwork, after they finished, he'd immediately moon about and wonder why she wouldn't just admit that she loves him, but his effort to please her was just so fucking minimal. No wonder she didn't volunteer to go back for more. She didn't get anything out of it!

Once she finally initiated (in a more straightforward way), things improved and he put in a more appropriate amount of effort. It really gave me the feeling that he was using her sexually before, which wasn't... ideal. The epilogue sex was insane enough that it almost made up for it, though.

Even though I wasn't completely sold on them as a couple, I enjoyed both of them individually. Horse whisperer and wolf-howling S.T. is both very intense and obviously quirky. A weird and lonely man who just wants companionship and love. He was the standout of the two for me, which seems appropriate since it's easy to argue that this is more his story than Leigh's.

In short, this book had all of the angst and insanity that I wanted, combined with some of the darker themes that I enjoy, and the characters were a hoot. It lacked a bit in the sexual and romantic content, but only because I had some trouble investing in them as a couple. If I reread it, I think I'd probably have a different experience after knowing their whole story.

[hecouldcomeintomycastle]

"He loved her because she never cried, and then he loved her to the deepest raw center of his soul when she did. He wanted to hold her and protect her--and he wanted her respect more urgently than he'd wanted any prize in his life."

That's the romance novel shit I'm here for.

Currently reading: "The Prince of Midnight" by Laura Kinsale

I was not prepared for this man to be literally howling at the moon and acting like a wolf with his wolf companion. Insane. Which is exactly how I like my romance novels. And Leigh has not a thought for how undeniably WEIRD he is. He's just inept and useless to her, lol.

(I have no idea if this is where people start with Kinsale, but this was at my library's booksale, so it's where I'm starting.)