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"After listing to "Rude" by Magic, Tyler Posey texted Dylan O’Brien about starting a reggae band."

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Captain America: The Winter Soldier, condensed into Facebook updates.

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yo, his Lil’ Wayne impression is flawless.

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what was your best and worst birthday gift

Best: PS2 meant the most to me in that time period

Worst: My girlfriend at the time been telling me for a few days she had a big surprise for me something i’ve always been asking for so finally on the day of she tells me its a 3 some so im like with who ?  she says 1 of her friends so im like is she bad she says yeah… so im hype later that night i go over there i walk in her house i dont see another girl so im like where she at she like she in the bathroom freshening up so she leads me to the bedroom she starts undressing me so at this point she locks the bedroom door then she knocks on the bathroom door like hes ready so she opens the door and lo and behold i see this chick i been messing with on the side for a little bit and she got a bat in 1 hand and a belt with spikes in the other she gives my girl the bat and my girl asks me ” you know her? ” i start doing the typical nigga oh shit i fucked up thinking pose

im like yeah this is my friend.. my girl goes oh so we fuck friends now they blocking the door theres no way out they start walking towards me my dumb ass reflexes took over i opened the window jumped from the 2nd story window.. when i get outside i realize im in boxers and my wallet and clothes is back in the room keep in mind im in nyc we use public transportation heavy out here so im like damn imma have to hop the turn style and ride the train in my boxers then i get angry like i was the one wronged here im like fuck it imma go in there and get my clothes and be out how dare they ruin my birthday so i walk back up the steps knock on the front door they open it they still holding the bat and belt so im like lemme get my shit and go they like nope so im angry now i say fuck it square up

man these 2 hoes beat me like a slave lol shorty was swinging that bat like a young Mark McGuire so im getting my ass whooped all over that living room, but through sheer will and determination i make a run for the bedroom and lock the door behind me they banging on the door i put my clothes on but my leg still feeling a little funny after that last jump so i think if i do it again i might break my leg so i take 3 deep breaths and decide im gonna open the bedroom door then make a run for the front door i open the door 

and hit the nauturo run out the front door as they still swinging behind me i can feel the wind from the swings behind me I make it out the front door they still chasing me i hit the corner ran 2 blocks looked behind me and they weren’t there.. moral of the story kids don’t cheat on your girl when shes crazy as fuck.. (just realized this shit is long as fuck)

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interview: how would you hit on a girl?

harry: what's the context? where are we?

interviewer: at a bar.

harry: where in the bar? are we in america?

interview: sure

harry: oh, well i can't go into bars in america so.

King of the swerve.

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US National Anthem in minor key.

 Can this be the trailer music for the next dystopian movie?

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Practice Makes Perfect | Cute Is What We Aim For

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this is my new favorite video Hercules reads his script entirely wrong (reads the word disappointed, when he was supposed to sound disappointed)

New favorite thing to say when disappointed. 

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Avicii - Addicted To You (by AviciiOfficialVEVO)

why did no one tell me this was hella gay oh my god

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"lay out your weapons in front of you"

rick’s like fuck gotta take out my teeth now

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Rick: They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out.

Abraham: Find out what?

Me: That they're messin with team prison motha fuckaazzzz

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"She can change too"

DO NOT TOUCH THAT BABY

SOMEONE GET A DIXON OR A GRIMES OVER HERE TO TAKE CARE OF THAT BABY

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WHAT THE FUCK

LIZZIE

I HATE THIS SHOW