helgunr - Tumblr blog

[helgunr]

Why can’t we laugh now like we did then? How come I see you and ache instead?

Hi kids!! Ísleifr is green now. I wanted him to actually look more non-human but I didn’t want to drastically change him, so here you go!

Tag this with Laz//ytown and I’ll come to your house and steal your car keys. Please don’t.

[helgunr]

I want to be unafraid. I want to be full of light and love and kindness. I want to go on adventures and rejoice in the beauty of living.

[helgunr]

scrounged up some time today to do a fae/beetle queen femme for day 21!

[helgunr]

((an INCREDIBLE mix by my wonderful friend @ayveehearts!!!!!! im still screaming about this please give it a listen!!!))

[helgunr]

Helgunr rubbed her temples, trying to rid herself of her persistent headache, trying not to think about how she must look - completely run through the wringer. The blood on her clothes didn’t bother her, although judging by the look she noticed on Ísleifr’s face, it must have bothered him. She felt absurdly guilty, and resolved to change as soon as she could.

Sleep would certainly be welcome at this point. Ísleifr had insisted on making a bed of some sort for her, but she’d have been perfectly happy sleeping on the floor. More comfortable than some places she’d ended up.

She watched him struggle to his feet, unconvinced by his attempts to reassure her. He was nowhere near fine and if he didn’t admit that to himself, his denial was only going to cause him more trouble than it already had. It terrified her to think what might have happened if she hadn’t found him, hadn’t gotten that cursed metal out of him. He was strong, but he wasn’t invincible. Why did he seem to think he was?

Ísleifr really was pale, and she could see how much effort it took just for him to stand. It tore at her heart, and she wanted to stop him, but his pride had probably been hurt enough. She didn’t want to offend him, so she waited, biting her lip, silently willing him to succeed.

“I’m fine.” If he said that again, she just might scream.

No sooner were the words out of his mouth that he collapsed, and Hellie’s heart leapt into her throat. “Ísleifr!”

He was shaking, his eyes wide, and when she touched him his skin was so cold she pulled back in surprise. “I am… not fine.”

Hellie had to swallow an instinctive sarcastic remark. “No. You’re not.” She put an arm around him, trying to suppress a shiver, and half-carried him to the couch as best she could. The honey had fortified her a little, and she was grateful for that - she wouldn’t have been able to do this just a short while ago.

“Ísleifr, listen to me.” She kept her voice calm, trying not to sound as scared as she was. She’d seen pain in his eyes when he fell; had she not gotten all of it out? “You’re going to be okay. Don’t push yourself.” Helgunr placed her hand on his chest, searching for anything she might have missed. No - she couldn’t feel anything else. It must just be residual pain. She remembered how her hand had still ached afterwards the first time she’d touched it, even after she realized how to get the splinter out. It would be worse for him, having carried it around inside him for months.

Hellie covered him with the blanket and brushed the hair out of his face, wishing she could do more to alleviate his pain. The best thing for him now was rest.

She got a small fire going in the fireplace, taking a moment to warm her own chilly hands and relish in its comforting light, and went back to Ísleifr’s side.

Healing magic was all well and good, but it had its limits, and she’d learned a few tricks on her own. The pain from the metal would go away on its own, eventually, but she had something else that might help in the meantime.

Hellie dug into her bag until she found what she was looking for - a lavender salve of her own concoction. It would ease the pain and tension in his chest, and help him relax.

Gingerly, she rubbed it into the scar, the scent of lavender making her long for her own respite. Not until I know he’s okay.

“Don’t worry about me, okay? Just get some sleep. I’ll be fine. I’ll -” She glanced around the room, settling her gaze on the armchair. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”

reach into your local cave and you will find a Friend and Boy - (closed rp with @isleifr)

[helgunr]

What else do you like to do besides collect rocks?

i like to do lots of things! i can play the flute (a little) and i like to cook, although im not very good at it. and grow flowers!! but... they usually die. T_T i... hmm. i like to sing! im... not sure how good i am at it though......

[helgunr]

funny you mention honey, i'm sure isleifr would love you bringing him some ;)

... i have a feeling he has plenty of his own!! haha!!!

[helgunr]

Hellie! You DO have a crush, don't you??

........a-anyway!! who else could go for some honey???

[helgunr]

Helgunr, what are your kinks? ;)

buy me a few drinks and find out ;) 

[helgunr]

I found this piece of rose quartz and it reminded me of you! Would you like it?

oh wow!!! thank you so much!! i love it!!!

[helgunr]

does somebody have a crush ;)

i… well…. i guess that depends on who youre talking about! haha!!!!! 

[helgunr]

💚💖💝💘 :)

((the others are coming soon!!))

💚- A memory that makes them feel guilty

Ever since she could remember, she’d been enraptured by it.

It hung in front of the window in the kitchen, a huge stained glass scene depicting a girl feeding a fox from her hand. Different colored stones decorated the edge, the girl’s clothing, and the fox’s eyes. The sunlight shone through it, casting bright colors onto the rug, and as a child Hellie sat in front of it for hours, finding new details each time. She’d never seen anything so beautiful in her life.

The more she stared, the more she felt a compulsion to take it apart, to see what those stones were, to organize and arrange the colors, to touch every piece separately, to understand it in a more tangible way. The compulsion grew until it became an overriding need, and one day, while her parents were out in the garden, she climbed onto a chair and took it down.

She lay it in front of her on the floor, mesmerized, running her fingers across it gently. It was even more beautiful up close.

Hellie knew she shouldn’t be doing this. Her parents thought she was still taking a nap, and she’d get in so much trouble if they came in suddenly and saw what she was doing. But her small hands itched to feel the weight of the glass.

She carefully took a knife from the drawer (the one she was never to go into), and began to pry the glittering stones from the girl’s dress. She pressed too hard and one flew off behind her, and she didn’t see where it went. But that didn’t stop her; it only told her that what she wanted was possible. She continued her work with renewed determination.

Once all the stones were removed, she felt a giddiness like no other she’d felt before. She rolled them between her fingers, delighting in their cold beauty, like stars pulled right from the sky.

However…

She cast a glance at the rest of the scene. It would be so satisfying to feel those heavy chunks of glass in her hands, too.

It didn’t come apart as easily as the stones had, though. She was careful, so careful, but she broke several pieces; it just wouldn’t split evenly along the lines like she thought it would.

“Oh, Hellie…”

Her mother’s voice came from behind her, shocked and devastated, and Hellie turned around, heart pounding.

There were tears in Irja’s eyes as she saw the remnants of her precious stained glass scattered all over the floor, destroyed by a curious child.

“I’m - I’m sorry, mamma! I just - I had to see it, I had to -”

Hellie wasn’t hurt, at least - if nothing else, she had been careful. But, oh - the precious artwork that had been in her family for generations - it was beyond repair.

When she got older, Hellie had recreated it as best she could, finding new pieces of glass to replace the ones she’d broken, putting it back together as accurately as she could. But every time she looked up at it, and saw the jagged lines, the missing stone on the girl’s dress, it sent a stab of shame and guilt through her heart.

[helgunr]

1) speak up. 2) stop settling. 3) giving is beautiful but don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. 4) be picky about the compromises and sacrifices you make for others. 5) you deserve good things. 6) you deserve reciprocation. 7) everyone you surround yourself with should make you feel good on all levels. 8) you are not asking for too much. 9) your feelings matter. 10) people can’t help you if you pretend to be okay all the time.

[helgunr]

You know, but you're not doing anything to make people like you. Just wallowing. Pathetic.

i... thats.... thats not true at all!! i am trying!! im... im doing my best i just dont know why it doesnt work! i do everything they ask.... please just tell me what you want me to do!!

[helgunr]

You know no one loves you, right? They might put up with you, but no one will ever actually love you.

…………… yeah. i know.

[helgunr]

(are you still doing the "break your muse" thing?)

((sure! you can ask her anything whenever you want!))

[helgunr]

Honey Stim Board!

[STIM BOARD REQUESTS: OPEN!]