hell-assigner

[hell-assigner]

Description of Hells in the Vishnu Purana : Part I

Source for shlokas here. Translation is mine.

From Book II Chapter 6 (द्वितीयांश, षष्ठोध्याय)

Parashar says,

Those are the hells, (O) learned brahmin! Subterranean and underwater. That is where sinners (ultimately) fall O great muni. (1)

In Raurava, Shukara, Rodha*, Tala is the entrance

Mahajwala, Taptakumbha, Shwasana, then Vimohana. (2)

In Rudhirandha, Vaitarani, Krimisha, Krimibhojana.

Asipatravana, Krishna, and Lalabhaksha (one) falls violently . (3)

(And) so Puyavaha (where) the sinners (fall), in the Vahnijwala there is the skull.

Sandansha, and Kalasutra are eternally dark and painful. (4)

Swabhojana and the steadfast Avichi are beyond that.

Thus ends and begins the harsh fall of Naraka. (5)

This concerns the jurisdiction of Yama, the one that imparts fear through weapons and fire

The men** who fall here have committed sinful karma/deeds. (6)

Notes : *The print reads Radhestalo which would be a compound word for Radheh and Talo (in Tala). Radhestalo means "In Radha (and) Tala". I chose to say Rodha instead of Radha because me and the original translator in the linked source both think this is a typo in the Devanagari print.

**The original text isn't ungendered. The word used for the one falling in hell in this couplet is 'Purusha'. Pu- is a suffix like masc. Masculine (gender) is Puling/पुलिंग. There is no room for interpretation that the ones falling into these hells are only men.

[hell-assigner]

This is mod G from IMQ- I hate any sweet rice. Ew. The only payasam I can stand is the one with sevaiyan. The rice one is truly is a sin against taste.

Apologies Mod G, I made some broad assumptions. The post has been now edited and the potentiality of you going to Puyavaha for committing the paap of eating mithai with rice ruled out.

[hell-assigner]

Which hells would the IMQ mods go to?

Since you didn't give me any specific sins to judge, I am going to go ahead and make my own assumptions.

Here are the hells IMQ mods would go to —

Shukara/swine hell: Brahmin murderer, gold stealer, wine drinker. And anyone who associates with them.

They would certainly associate with brahmin murderers and wine drinker, perhaps even gold stealers depending on the specifics of the theft. I wouldn't put it past them to commit these deeds themselves, but I have no concrete proof.

Lavana/Salt hell : Guru disrespectors, abusive to their 'betters', Veda haters, Veda sellers, and those who associate with women in a prohibited degree.

Very vocal veda haters. They will also vocally disrespect gurus and abuse 'betters' depending on the context of the argument.

Vimohana/Bewilderment hell : Thieves and condemners of maryada

Also vocal condemners of maryada.

Krimibhaksha/Worm food hell : Father hater, Brahmin hater, god hater, precious gems spoiler

Vocal brahmin haters and god haters depending on the god and the deeds of the said god.

Rudhirandha/where wells are of blood : Public performers, fishermen, follower of those born in adultery, poisoner, informer, one who lives by (his) wife's prostitution, incendiary, treacherous friend, soothsayer, one who performs religious ceremonies for rustics, Parvakari (one who cohabits with their wife on prohibited days), sellers of Soma

What is being IMQ mods if not a public performance.

Sandansha/Hell of pincers : Violator of a vow. One who breaks rules of their order

Being vocal condemners of everything status quo, they famously condemn rules and social order of the and are capable of dismantling/breaking them.

Svabhojana/Dog eating hell : Brahmacharis daydreaming things they shouldn't. Ones who mature but let their children instruct them in sacred literature.

They let young philosophy students tell them about sacred literature

Potential hells (as in I can't confirm if they have done these things, but I'm taking a guess based on what I know of them) —

Lalabhaksha/Saliva food hell : Ones who eat their meals before offering them to gods, pitrs, guests

I have never had a meal with them so I'm not sure about this but being very vocal condemners of maryada, I don't think they would follow this maryada

Puyavaha/Where puya/pus flows : One who eats mithai with rice. Brahmin who sells lac, flesh, liquor (juice?), sesame, salt. Brahmin who commits violence. Ones who rear cats, cocks, goats, dogs, hogs, or birds.

Mod G always positively reacts to any pet picture. Would not put it past them to rear a cat or dog. Mod S takes a keen interest in recipes. Both Mod S could try sweet rice recipes. Mod S likes kheer. Edit : Mod G hates and despises sweet rice, ruling out this potential hell for mithai with rice crimes. However, they would get several cats and dogs in the future and that sort of dushkarma would indeed add up to more time in Puyavaha.

Vahnijwala/Fiery name hell : Tenders of sheep, deer hunters, Potters/those who apply fire to baked vessels

Mod S is very crafty with their hands. Wouldn't put it past them to try out pottery.

[hell-assigner]

Which hell would tumblr user @friend-shaped-but aka @warriorbookworm go to?

Since you didn't send me any deeds to judge, I'm going to go ahead and make my own assumptions based on what I know of him.

Here is list of hells :

Shukara/swine hell: Brahmin murderer, gold stealer, wine drinker. And anyone who associates with them.

He has associated with at least one wine drinker I know of (me)

Lavana/Salt hell : Guru disrespectors, abusive to their 'betters', Veda haters, Veda sellers, and those who associate with women in a prohibited degree.

He has complained about teachers who's words seem misguided. He would also critically analyze the Vedas and hate them on a philosophical level. I wouldn't put it beyond him to be harsh in philosophical debates with those socially or academically 'better' than him.

Vimohana/Bewilderment hell : Thieves and condemners of maryada

Will condemn maryada in minute philosophical detail

Krimibhaksha/Worm food hell : Father hater, Brahmin hater, god hater, precious gems spoiler

I have witnessed him hating on brahmins. God hater is a potential one, I don't recall any blatant god haterism but krishna has been criticized in conversations and he seemed in agreement with the criticisms.

Rudhirandha/where wells are of blood : Public performers, fishermen, follower of those born in adultery, poisoner, informer, one who lives by (his) wife's prostitution, incendiary, treacherous friend, soothsayer, one who performs religious ceremonies for rustics, Parvakari (one who cohabits with their wife on prohibited days), sellers of Soma

Has done public music performances and will do it again.

Sandansha/Hell of pincers : Violator of a vow. One who breaks rules of their order

Has no loyalty to status quo

Svabhojana/Dog eating hell : Brahmacharis daydreaming things they shouldn't. Ones who mature but let their children instruct them in sacred literature.

Warrior told me that he is a Brahmachari daydreaming things and feeling the effects of it which he really shouldn't as a Brahmachari.

Potential hells :

Lalabhaksha/Saliva food hell : Ones who eat their meals before offering them to gods, pitrs, guests

He contemplated giving one pitr misal in a discord server chat. But the implication of that conversation of he might qualify for this hell at the moment.

Puyavaha/where puya/pus flows : One who eats mithai with rice. Brahmin who sells lac, flesh, liquor/juice, sesame, salt. Brahmin who commits violence. Ones who rear cats, cocks, goats, dogs, hogs, or birds.

He often shares pictures of him with a cat. Wouldn't put future cat ownership past him. Also wouldn't put it past him to eat payasam or any form of sweet rice.

[hell-assigner]

want to submit Isaac Newton for hell assignment. his crimes are: inventing calculus; coming up with the law of gravity after an apple fell on his head; cataloguing the stars; (possibly) disrespecting god by having unorthodox religious views; drinking wine (or associating with those who drink wine); (possibly) eating his meals without offering them to gods; being a professor of mathematics at cambridge (does that count as public performance?); being head of the royal mint and prosecuting people for coin fraud (who were later executed, does that count as murder?); losing money by investing in slave trading company that went bankrupt (seriously his wikipedia page was a ride)

Thanks for listing the crimes!

Here are the subhells Isaac Newton would qualify for —

Shukara/swine hell: Brahmin murderer, gold stealer, wine drinker. And anyone who associates with them.

For wine drinking and associating with wine drinkers

Lavana/Salt hell : Guru disrespectors, abusive to their 'betters', Veda haters, Veda sellers, and those who associate with women in a prohibited degree.

Veda hater by the virtue of having non-Vedic theological views. Considered idol worship a sin.

Vimohana/Bewilderment hell : Thieves and condemners of maryada

Condemned maryada by holding views clashing with the mainstream religious and social views he was to adhere to

Krimibhaksha/Worm food hell : Father hater, Brahmin hater, god hater, precious gems spoiler

Hated his step-father.

Lalabhaksha/Saliva food hell : Ones who eat their meals before offering them to gods, pitrs, guests

If he said Grace before he ate, he offered food to God. But by the virtue of not believing in ancestor worship or polytheism, he would have not offered food to the gods or pitr.

Puyavaha/Where puya/pus flows : One who eats mithai with rice. Brahmin who sells lac, flesh, liquor (juice?), sesame, salt. Brahmin who commits violence. Ones who rear cats, cocks, goats, dogs, hogs, or birds.

He had a dog named Diamond

Rudhirandha/where wells are of blood : Public performers, fishermen, follower of those born in adultery, poisoner, informer, one who lives by (his) wife's prostitution, incendiary, treacherous friend, soothsayer, one who performs religious ceremonies for rustics, Parvakari (one who cohabits with their wife on prohibited days), sellers of Soma

Being a prof may not inherently count as public performance but giving speeches and academic talks does and Newton did do that. May have also been an incendiary since his alchemical lab caught on fire likely due to his own mistake (or his unattended dog, which, counts as his own mistake).

Potential hells as in things he could have done but I have no proof beyond conjecture :

Raurava/dreadful hell : For those who bear false witness through partiality or utter any falsehood.

Being a prosecutor at a royal mint puts in in a position where taking sides is essential. We have no concrete proof of how truthful he was or how impartial his decisions were

Adhomukha/Head Inverted hell : Ones who take bribes, ones who offer improper objects as sacrifice, and ones who catalogues the stars

Was in a position to take bribes and could have gone to this hell if he did. While I think Newtonian dynamics are important for astronomy and he has written extensively on optics, I don't think he ever did any observation work himself, he was a purely into fundamental physics and that does not qualify him for the nakshatrasuchak/star cataloguer criteria.

[hell-assigner]

what hells would kim dokja (omniscient readers viewpoint) go to? his crimes include killing people, lying, cheating, and being a little bitch

I am familiar with Kim Dokja so I am going to go ahead and make certain assumptions for him as well when assigning hells. Not that a lot of the 'sins' punished aren't actually crimes so taking some of his general traits also which will condemn him to a subhell.

Raurava/dreadful hell : For those who bear false witness through partiality or utter any falsehood.

This one is for being a lying bitch and also being partial towards certain people.

Rodha/obstruction hell: Abortion causers. Town plunderers. Cow murderers. Those who strangle a man.

Including this for man strangling as a general killing/murder thing but he destroyed Reinheit's Paradise and is a town plunderer.

Shukara/swine hell: Brahmin murderer, gold stealer, wine drinker. And anyone who associates with them.

Does drink wine. Led him to almost makeout with Yoo Sangah.

Tala/Padlock hell : Murderer of 2nd and 3rd caste (kshatriya, vaishya) and the one who commits adultery with their guru's wife.

Has murdered warriors/fighters and likely businessmen

Taptaloha/Hot iron hell : Sellers of their wife/wife's pimps, jailers, horsedealers, and the one who deserts their adherents

Constantly deserts his adherents

Lavana/Salt hell : Guru disrespectors, abusive to their 'betters', Veda haters, Veda sellers, and those who associate with women in a prohibited degree.

<Veda> hater

Vimohana/Bewilderment hell : Thieves and condemners of maryada

Condemner of maryada

Krimibhaksha/Worm food hell : Father hater, Brahmin hater, god hater, precious gems spoiler

Father hater, god hater

Krimisha/Insect hell : One who harms others with magic

He has and will harm others with magic

Lalabhaksha/Saliva food hell : Ones who eat their meals before offering them to gods, pitrs, guests

I don't think he offers his meals to gods, ancestors, or guests before eating

Vishasana/Murderous hell : Makers of lances, swords, and other weapons

Made a sword with rat bones

Adhomukha/Head Inverted hell : Ones who take bribes, ones who offer improper objects as sacrifice, and ones who catalogues stars

Used ganpyeongui. Counts as an attempt to catalogue stars.

[hell-assigner]

What hell(s) would tumblr user @sharangapani get sent to?

They are Vishnu's no. 1 fan so they are bypassing hells and going straight to Vaikunth, but for a moment, let's assume that is not the case, just for the sake for a more interesting answer. Since you did not send me specific sins to be judged, I will simply make assumptions based on what I know about them 👍

Vimohana/Bewilderment hell : Thieves and condemners of maryada

I think they will condemn maryada when they don't see the point in it

Krimibhaksha/Worm food hell : Father hater, Brahmin hater, god hater, precious gems spoiler

They have hated on Brahmins before and I know will do it again

Lalabhaksha/Saliva food hell : Ones who eat their meals before offering them to gods, pitrs, guests

I don't think they offer their meals to gods or pitr before they eat

Puyavaha/Where puya/pus flows : One who eats mithai with rice. Brahmin who sells lac, flesh, liquor (juice?), sesame, salt. Brahmin who commits violence. Ones who rear cats, cocks, goats, dogs, hogs, or birds.

They like payasam.

Potential Hells (as in they have probably committed some of these sins but not in front of me):

Lavana/Salt hell : Guru disrespectors, abusive to their 'betters', Veda haters, Veda sellers, and those who associate with women in a prohibited degree.

I have never personally seen them hating on the Vedas or disrespecting their teachers or being abusive to those who are older/experienced than them, but I won't put it past them to stand their ground and argue about or hate on the Vedas or talk smack about their gurus whose words aren't wise.

Shukara/swine hell: Brahmin murderer, gold stealer, wine drinker. And anyone who associates with them.

I can see them associating with brahmin murderers and wine drinkers. I do not know enough about their criminal record or drinking habits to judge further.

[hell-assigner]

Hold, up! Read this before sending an ask!

I can't assign hell without sins. If you send me a person/character/concept/strawman to send to hell, assume I don't know anything about them. Send me a list of their crimes you'd like judged and I'll give you hells based on that.