hellbendergender

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The Onion continues to never miss

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so the BBC accidentally said the UK consumes 4.7 kilograms of cocaine per person per day

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*sees a beloved mutual in the notes* hi honey

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just remember, tense your shoulders, grit your teeth, take rapid shallow breaths and say to yourself ”oh shit, oh fuck, this is all my fault”

[hellbendergender]

How are conchs even real

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how it feels to wash your hair and brush your teeth and have clean clothes on

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i just got a 105 min ad?? on youtube??

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new contender for best community note of all time

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10/10 dad joke

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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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My dad was eating pistachios so I reached my hand out and he just started peeling them and giving them to me. Then suddenly went “I really hope you find someone who loves you a lot” and I went “enough to peel my pistachios for me?” And he laughed and said “yeah exactly” before carrying on giving me more

[hellbendergender]

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/la3xpq/aita_for_telling_my_boyfriends_coworker_that_were/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

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