helleanorlance

[helleanorlance]

Today one of my kids asked me if I was a mom and when I said no she said “well are you at least married?” 😭😭😭

[helleanorlance]

guys idk the air is slowly starting to smell a little…. salty? the door a little bit rusty? and i dont think i have never needed anything more?

[helleanorlance]

hey slurt

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this person on deuxmoi subreddit asking for tea on the marx brothers

[helleanorlance]

Follow @importantcatpics for more Important Cat Pics!

[helleanorlance]

Made a game for camp called “Is This a Berry?” It is exactly what it sounds like and I think it will probably be the hardest game so far outside of the one about old tech that was way too obscure for everybody even though it all seemed very normal to me

[helleanorlance]

99% of alarm snoozers stop hitting snooze before reaching full restfulness. NEVER stop trying to get five to fifteen minute increments of sleep yhis next one will make you feel well rested in a way youve never been in your entire life i promise 🙏

[helleanorlance]

compilation of texts my mom has sent me when my cat is wailing outside my room and i haven’t opened the door for her yet

[helleanorlance]

Honestly the best thing about this summer camp job is that it keeps me so busy that it literally stops my mental illness. I live and breathe camp. It is all I think about from the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep, Monday-Friday. Sometimes I even have really beautifully mundane dreams about setting up the next days activities. And then the weekend comes and it all hits at once and it’s like Fuck!!!!

[helleanorlance]

[helleanorlance]

Me: trying desperately to go to sleep because my body is still not used to waking up so early

My brain: I wonder if “corner store” is a common synonym for “convenience store” or if it’s a regionalism

[helleanorlance]

Last weeks play came together sooooo easily. This one did not. But I think I managed to give all of the kids a decent part and include everything they wanted, which did include a 5’1” giant person-eating frog

[helleanorlance]

Today one of the kids found some beetles and shouted “Look! The mama beetle is giving the baby beetle a ride on its back! It’s so cute!” And they were all going on and on about how cute it was and my friends: I do not think that’s what was happening.

[helleanorlance]

when he says "warm touching warm... reaching out... touching me, touching you" in sweet caroline. that's some shit koko the gorilla would say in sign language

[helleanorlance]

Also the game is called “Fun-fact or fiction” so it’s half true fun facts and half fake stuff (a combination of common misconceptions, stuff from myth busters, and shit I made up). So I just turned to my sister and said “Hey did you know—?” And then one of the fake ones and she said “yeah I didn’t know that but it makes sense”. And boy even at 30 years old it feels SO good to pull one over on your younger sibling.

[helleanorlance]

That being said, after a day of camp from approx 8:30-4:15, with very little time away from children, I had to spend 3 hours writing a game show for tomorrow. So it’s not, like, ideal under these circumstances

It turns out that I actually have a real knack for making up silly little game shows. My friend thinks I should try and sell one of my ideas to drop out for game changer and I don’t think I would go *that* far since I make games for children rather than professional comedians. But I do think I could monetize these as “brain breaks” for teachers and perhaps even party games for adults if I work harder.

[helleanorlance]

It turns out that I actually have a real knack for making up silly little game shows. My friend thinks I should try and sell one of my ideas to drop out for game changer and I don’t think I would go *that* far since I make games for children rather than professional comedians. But I do think I could monetize these as “brain breaks” for teachers and perhaps even party games for adults if I work harder.