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When my daughter was a toddler, I used to take her to a park not far from our apartment. One day as she was playing in a sandbox, an ice-cream salesman approached us. I purchased her a treat, and when I turned to give it to her, I saw her mouth was full of sand. Where I had intended to put a delicacy, she had put dirt. Did I love her with dirt in her mouth? Absolutely. Was she any less of my daughter with dirt in her mouth? Of course not. Was I going to allow her to keep the dirt in her mouth? No way. I loved her right where she was, but I refused to leave her there. I carried her over to the water fountain and washed out her mouth. Why? Because I love her. God does the same for us. He holds us over the fountain. “Spit out the dirt, honey,” our Father urges. “I’ve got something better for you.” And so he cleanses us of filth; immorality, dishonesty, prejudice, bitterness, greed. We don’t enjoy the cleansing; sometimes we even opt for the dirt over the ice cream. “I can eat dirt if I want to!” we pout and proclaim. Which is true—we can. But if we do, the loss is ours. God has a better offer.

Max Lucado (via nonelikejesus)

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One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay. (Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.) Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks. Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris. Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together. Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own. (Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.) Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you. Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place. Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects. Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers. Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do. Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via perverted—princess)

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New fragrance, Killer Queen: Oh So Sheer.

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the saga

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Princess Academy was to be an animated short that would’ve featured all the female characters that debuted from the films that came after Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs all the way up to Tangled, including Pixar films.

It was to be a musical on par with the segments seen in the Fantasia films, with all the females interacting with each other, singing, dancing and just enjoying each other’s company. The music was to be composed by Alan Menken.

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I don't like it when you try to erase my fatness. "You're not fat" is not a compliment to me.

Every time you say “You’re not fat, you’re pretty” you are implying that I can’t be both.

You are saying there is something wrong with being fat.

I’m fat, and I’m down with that and you will not ignore my body because it makes you uncomfortable.

I will be fat and in your face and you will fucking eat it up. 

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“That seems sort of harmless but then it kind of gets a little darker and sort of accuses these young pop artists of being part of this cycle where girls read magazines, feel terrible about themselves ‘cause its says “you should be skinnier, you should be prettier”. They feel terrible, and then these pop stars tell them that they’re perfect and that they’re beautiful and they buy the songs and then the popstar’s on the cover of the magazine so they buy a magazine again and it’s sort of this vicious cycle and I sort of implied he’s working for Satan or whatever.”

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INTERVIEW: Ariana Grande Says Her Twitter Haters Are "Evil As Hell"

Welcome to the wild world of Ariana Grande. One of the hottest up-and-comers in music right now, thanks to the smash-hit success of her debut album, Yours Truly, Grande’s been sent around the globe in order to promote it, zipping through Paris, Berlin, Amsterdam, New York, and Japan in a matter of weeks.

In Amsterdam, Grande was mobbed by fans when she tried to make her way through the airport. “I never want to be the person who avoids my own fans, so I always try to stop and say hi,” she says. “But it turned into a big mosh of people, and it became quite dangerous. I got sent to the police station, and they told me not to come back to that airport!” Later, so many fans camped out to see the singer that the manager of her hotel dubbed Grande a safety risk and forbade her from going out on her balcony to wave to them. “I just went out anyway,” she says. “I said, ‘You can’t stop me!’ That’s one thing to get in trouble for: loving your fans too much.”

Click ‘Read More’ to read the rest of the interview

Check Out Our Gallery to See Ariana’s Cosmo Cover & Photoshoot

Read More

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I might watch it now just for this lmao

fun fact: Michael Cera asked Rihanna if he could slap her ass for real and she said “you can slap my ass for real if I can slap you in the face for real” and he was like alright. and they did the take like 3 times and Michael was like “you’re not hitting me hard enough do it for real” and then she slapped the fuck out of him and threw off his equilibrium so much he had to go lay down in his trailer for like half an hour lmao and that’s the take they used in the movie with no added sound effects 

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Do you ever get around a certain person and feel an uneasiness or an unrest? Something inside says, “Stay away. That’s trouble.” Those are not just bad vibes. That’s the Holy Spirit warning you. It may be small, but it can keep you from a big heartache. You might say, “Well, if I don’t hang out with them, I may not have any friends.” No, God will give you new friends. He will give you better friends. The key is: if you don’t let go of the wrong people, the right people won’t show up. This is not talking about a relationship already committed in marriage, but relationships outside of marriage. God doesn’t force us to let go of wrong relationships. He has given us our own free will. But when God asks you to give something up, He is never trying to take something away. He is trying to get something better to you. As we obey Him, we grow and mature which opens the door for more of His blessings and favor.

Remember, bad company corrupts good character. Let go of friends or influences that you know are dragging you down. Trust God to bring the right people and connections across your path. Let go of wrong relationships and move forward in the blessing He has prepared for you!

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