hellytheelephant

[hellytheelephant]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[hellytheelephant]

when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw

[hellytheelephant]

Just saw a video analysis about if the Scooby gang could beat Light Yagami. I wasn’t worried about the gang but I didn’t realize how cooked Light was. Velma alone is way smarter than L, Freddy would instantly see through the trapped drawer that hid the Death Note and Scooby is such a wildcard overall, who is immune to the Death Note because he isn’t human. So even if he gets the rest of the gang, Scooby is coming with a vengeance.

Funniest scenario is Shaggy and Scooby trailing Light only to be confronted by him. Light tries to kill Shaggy but can’t because he would never just give away his name as “Norville Rogers.” Light thinks Shaggy is some genius playing fourth-dimensional chess with him.

[hellytheelephant]

[hellytheelephant]

[hellytheelephant]

The inherent homoeroticism of killing your enemy and immediately regretting it

[hellytheelephant]

I DID IT

We all know the meme

Well, I went digging further and found the backstory.

–

It all starts in highschool (or early college)

(for time sake we’ll call blue shirt, girl 1 and the other girl, girl 2.)

Girl one begins to grow feelings for girl two.

She get jealous of the man and decides to become best friends with girl 2

soon girl two grows feeling for girl one

Soon, the time of the meme takes place

She finds out that he cheated on her by finding messages on his phone

[hellytheelephant]

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

[hellytheelephant]

There is a forbidden type of magic out there. It isn’t forbidden because it’s inherently evil, or forces you to lose your humanity, or requires human sacrifices - it’s just forbidden because it’s annoying as heck to fight against.

[hellytheelephant]

due to factors such as "time pressure" and "tulle is of the devil" my expectations for this shirt are not high. but i spent a lot of time imagining these button bands and they turned out pretty nice

[hellytheelephant]

[hellytheelephant]

kill the imposter syndrome in your head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they’re also using chat gpt to do it

[hellytheelephant]

if you're in the throes of cosmic despair i cannot recommend museums enough. art or science or history it doesn't matter. oh we're all connected, all of us and everything, throughout all time and space, and no one, no one, no one is alone? awesome. that's what i thought i just wanted to make sure.

[hellytheelephant]

[hellytheelephant]

There is a word I’m not allowed to use. I love it. I love it so much. But my darling beloved wife hates it with a fiery passion.

I came across it from Anne Lister’s diary, where she says that she would “grubble under women’s skirts” and honestly. The word perfectly encapsulates the fumbling feeling of fighting your way through layers of fabric to reach the promised pussy land.

However the word has been forbidden, reviled from the first moment my beloved heard it. They shuddered and it’s truly one of the only restrictions they’ve ever placed on my vocabulary so I don’t say it. But I do think it, on occasion.

Sometimes the word will pop into my head and I will think it too hard and my wife will turn and glare at me and accuse, “I know you’re thinking it!”

“But I didn’t say it!” I protest. But they’re always right. Even with no context they always know when I’m thinking it.

Today I told my wife, “I shared the unmentionable word with Astrid today and she quite enjoyed it. She repeated it several times.”

They bellowed liked a dying wildebeest and said, “I can go months without remembering that word exists and then it comes up again. It’s so disgusting, it’s what Sméagol would do on the ground digging for worms!”

I was laughing and protested, “It sounds like fighting through skirts, the groping around.”

“No! That is something that happens in the muck and the filth. It’s negative sexy.

“Bet you're gonna take to Tumblr and share it and some people are gonna be like, ‘Oh what a great word! We should definitely use that in our lexicon. Top tier word!’ And you know what? THEYRE WRONG. GARBAGE WORD. GROSS.”

I listened to their impassioned hatred while cuddled in their arms and radiated love at them and remorse for having reminded them about the existence of grubbling. But now you get to hear about it. As a treat.

[hellytheelephant]

MILDRED?????

[hellytheelephant]