helpibrokemybrain

[helpibrokemybrain]

[helpibrokemybrain]

ancient greek word of the day: πυριμάρμαρος (pyrimarmaros), sparkling like fire

[helpibrokemybrain]

"the early 2010s were better" no they weren't. "hey soul sister" was on the radio.

[helpibrokemybrain]

new ice cream flavors:

in which blood is spilled

oil on canvas

the people's flavor

strawberry in repose

birthday clown

butter pecan: the reckoning

carboniferous crunch

burnt

[helpibrokemybrain]

well the eagle eats my liver every day around 3pm, but otherwise i can meet when it best suits your schedule!

[helpibrokemybrain]

any printer born after 2007 can't print... all they know is bluetooth , hide they usb port, tray feed error, be out of magenta , eat paper & tell HP my social security number

[helpibrokemybrain]

[becoming crazed] art should physically harm you

[helpibrokemybrain]

Ok I gotta spread the Leafpool propaganda. She’s the sister to Squirrelstar btw, if people wanted to know.

When the clans got to their new territories, it was all thanks to Leafpool that they could communicate to StarClan (their gods) because she found the pool they can communicate through. This will be important later.

The cult clan she grew up in expressly forbids doctors to have kids and forbids mating outside of your clan, and Leafpool did both because the rules were stupid anyways. Her WindClan boyfriend Crowfeather treated her like shit and then they ran away together, but she had to break up with him because her mentor died and made her the only doctor in ThunderClan.

She then was told by StarClan to have the three kits that would be given powers that would save the clans from being destroyed by the Dark Forest (Hell).

So she had kids, gave them to her sister (who StarClan lied about being barren) to raise, and not be able to be their true mother, only their aunt (which doesn’t make someone less of a family member, but she still had to give her kids away).

When the secret got out, Leafpool was forced to step down from her doctor position, shamed by the Clans while Crowfeather got off scot free compared to her, her sons didn’t want anything to really do with her, her daughter tried to make her kill herself, and then went through grief when she thought her daughter died.

She later became a doctor again, but when she and Squirrelflight died, they were both put on a trial by StarClan. They wanted to send them both to hell because Leafpool dated outside of her clan and had children. THE SAME CHILDREN THAT SAVED THE CLANS. IF IT WEREN’T FOR HER, STARCLAN WOULDN’T BE THERE. AND THEY WANTED TO SEND HER TO HELL.

So anyways, vote Leafpool, she deserves the nastiest crash out EVER.

Oh after reading the reasoning on the form I’ve been waiting for this one

[helpibrokemybrain]

okay i grabbed this from my tiktok so folks who don't wanna get yeeted over to another app can actually view this thing

(YES THERE IS AUDIO AND THE SONG IS CRUCIAL, ITS WHAT MADE ME MAKE THIS A VIDEO)

[helpibrokemybrain]

girl unhinge ur jaw

[helpibrokemybrain]

truly the most american thing is Big Drink. more than late stage capitalism, more than an unparalleled cultural focus on individualism, more than 9/11 jokes

what binds all americans together culturally is Big Drink

and you might be saying "is this fat shaming" or "but mayor bloomberg outlawed Big Drink in nyc" or "gays are so annoying about their iced coffee" or some other dumb comment but no open your minds, Big Drink isn't just sugary or caffeinated beverages

every day i see one of you hydration bitches (affectionate) on the train with a water bottle so big a toddler could drown in it. that too is Big Drink. we literally invented a bigger beer can (tall boy) in wisconsin in the 60s in the service of Big Drink

anyway i never feel more american then when i have Big Drink in my hands

[helpibrokemybrain]

gotham is exactly the right amounts of wet and socioeconomically unstable to have spawned an INSANE grunge scene you just know their local shit is like the sonic equivalent of getting hit over the head with a car battery

[helpibrokemybrain]

i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

[helpibrokemybrain]

Me, watching my kitten hold still for a suspiciously long time: Ollie, are you peeing on my floor?

Ollie: Not

Me: Are you sure?

Ollie, grunting through time and space to push out a chocolate mcmuffin wider than he is tall: Not

[helpibrokemybrain]

The Latin church are obviously a hive insect. Like bees. They even functioned as pollinators for Christianity in the early medieval period. Flowers = northern Europe.

[helpibrokemybrain]

The Lutherans should have been cave mystics. Their focus on the supremacy of the word and individualist soteriology would be perfect for caves. The Lutherans should have taken their Bibles and their printing presses and sealed themselves within the earth with several tons of canned peaches. They would've learned to eat olms and drink from underground springs and read their Bibles with their newly evolved huge eyes. I want them pious and salamandrine.

[helpibrokemybrain]

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