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I need advice. So the other day one of my closer friends asked about my scars and I lied to her and told them they were from an old accident but they were from me. And now Im regretting cause I really want to tell her but Im scared. I just want someone to know about them. But I dont want her to judge me. I swear Im fine now and all but I want some one to be aware of everything. And what if she doesnt get it or tells some one. I just want some one to be aware of my break downs. I'm just confused

This is a very hard decision to make for yourself - don't beat yourself up about it! I wish I could give you an easy answer for your situation but sadly I don't know your friend or how she might react.That being said, I think you should tell her. Don't drop it on her abruptly, but make sure you can be clear with her and that you can be able to answer some questions she might have. Start off with something like 'I care for you a lot, and I trust you, so I would like to explain myself." Tell her that you had some rough patches, and that you didn't know how to handle them; don't feel pressured to explain every detail! If it makes you more comfortable, write down your explanation and let her read it. This might make it easier to explain your scars and how they affected you.According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, self-harm affects 1-4% of the population, but those numbers are increased to 14-39% in teenagers and young adults. Although perhaps you may feel lonely and isolated, know that there are thousands of people struggling with this, and that you always have someone to talk to in me, a respected adult in your life, your friends. Please remember that yes, life is often really, really hard but friends are some of the best things you can have. I know for a fact your friend cares about you and would hate to see you in any form of unhappiness. (I don't want you to be sad, either!) I know it can and probably will be rough, but you are such a beautiful and strong individual and I am so proud of you for overcoming this.Ultimately, you have to make this decision, but I trust that whatever you choose will be the best. Have faith in yourself and in your friends, and try to smile everyday. Love, Em

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• Michael changed his hair color again • Luke cut his hair short • They sang Over and over • They sang happy birthday to John • Michael’s voice is hotter than ever • Calum’s hair is back to black • Three fans have tried playing Michael’s guitar so far • We finally heard the new song live • They’ve sung Pizza • Calum’s old bass is back • Ashton’s drum solos are over the roof AND IT’S ONLY THE FIRST WEEK OF THE TOUR

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018 / Expectant

sorry i haven't posted in ages my god

anon requested a pref where you’re pregnant.. hope it’s okay?? remember to request, i can do blurbs, preferences, text thingies, whatever you’re into

ASHTON : You tossed the last of Ashton’s now-clean socks into the clothes basket, wishing they were as clean when you’d had to put them in the washer. Shuddering at the memory, you closed the glass door of the dryer and bent over to pick up the heavy wicker basket that now smelled of ‘April Rain’ thanks to Ashton’s choice of dryer sheets. 

"Babe, what are you doing?" You heard Ashton say with a hint of hysteria. You turned to see that him leaning against the door jamb, his arms crossed and his brows knit together slightly. "I told you that you shouldn’t be carrying heavy stuff around, let me do it." 

Ashton had been coddling you ever since the small bump on your stomach started to grow, and although it was sweet, you couldn’t drop everything and lay around. There was work to be done, and with Ashton’s busy schedule, he couldn’t always help out. Although it was strange at first, maneuvering around the bump, you’d soon figured it out and could keep house like a champ.

"Ash," You smirked, and shifted the basket higher onto your waist. "Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t go about my business. The clothes need washed, the floor needs vacuumed, you need a shave." You giggled, nodding your head towards the scruffy beard beginning to take shape on his jaw. Even though you personally liked it, you knew that he’d have to take a razor to it before the awards show you two were attending tomorrow night. "I can’t just watch TV for nine months until he decides to join us." 

Ashton furrowed his brows even more so, but then relaxed his face and chuckled. “I guess your right. I just don’t want you to stress yourself, or anything to happen to you.” 

"I know, I know." You smiled, looking past your previous annoyance and counting your blessings you had such a sweetheart looking after you. "Thank you. But I’m a big girl, I can handle a few pounds of your smelly socks." 

"In that case," Ashton pulled a face and backed up a few steps into the hallway. "I’ll go, uh, find something else to do."

He took off down the hall like a twelve year old, blonde curls bouncing as they were tied back in one of his hundreds of bandannas.

"Thanks for help, Irwin!" You yelled sarcastically, laughing at the fear his own sweaty socks had induced. 

CALUM : The restaurant was mildly quiet, the fresh Sydney air breezing though the open balcony as you listened to Calum telling an animated story about something mischievous Michael and him had gotten up too. It made you happy, that Joy had offered to buy the two of you lunch, well, three of you, considering the six month old bump on your stomach that held the tiny combination of you and your husband.

"How have you been feeling, (Y/N)?" Joy asked, turning to you and ignoring her son as Calum sipped his Corona with his eyebrows furrowed. "Is she kicking a lot?" 

"Yeah, a bit." You smiled at your mother in law, her features reflected in Calum’s. "She likes to move around a lot when her Daddy talks to her. He even played the guitar for her last night."

Calum couldn’t help but grin against the lip of his beer bottle, proud of the fact. “The kid’s not even born yet and she already thinks I’m fucking fantastic.” 

"Calum Thomas!" Joy exclaimed, whacking her son with a napkin as you stifled a giggle. "I can’t believe you. Swearing in front of your daughter." 

"I’m gonna teach her all the bad words, right from the start." He teased, leaning into your ear and pressing a kiss to your cheek. "She’ll be cussing like a sailor in no time." 

Joy sighed, shaking her head while you narrowed your eyes at him. “You better freaking not, Hood. I am not having our child become a mini Michael Clifford.”

"Hey, that’s a good namesake, don’t you think? I like Michael for the name." Calum joked further and you kicked his foot under the table. Joy whacked him again with her napkin until Calum put his hands up in defence. "Alright, alright, so we won’t call her Michael."

”Have you picked out a name yet?” Joy wondered, directing the question towards you as she assumed Calum wouldn’t give her a serious answer. “Mali had a couple of nice ones a few nights ago.”

"Not really. We thought we’d figure it out when I’m really pregnant.” You sighed, finishing the last bit of your creamy rose pasta. 

"Yeah," Calum interjected, his mouth full from the piece of pork chop he’d just shovelled in. "Apparently raging pregnancy hormones help with creativity." 

You felt like slapping a palm to your forehead, but resisted. “I can’t believe you’re going to be a father. Lord, help me.”

"You can always stay with me, dear. I’d love to have you." Joy replied, shooting you a smile. "Calum can manage by himself."

"She’s mine, Mum. Back off." Calum teased, linking your hand in his below the table. Joy laughed and the conversation continued lightly until the waiter appeared with the bill in hand. 

"Let me, Calum." Joy stated, picking up the cheque as Cal’s hand left yours in order to protest against his mother. 

"C’mon, Mum. I’ll pay, it’s no problem." He tried, but she refused, shaking her dark hair at her son. 

"You treat me too much, Calum Hood. You buy me expensive things, you bring me this beautiful daughter in law, and make me a grandmother. I’ll buy lunch this time."

You couldn’t refuse that logic. Joy paid the bill generously and stood to leave, as did Calum, slipping his light leather jacket over his bare arms as you discarded your napkin onto your plate. 

"Can I have a little help?" You asked your husband as he slipped on his dark sunglasses, framing his eyes and making your heart hammer a few beats faster. He still looked like the same bad boy that had asked you out in the supermarket five years ago, except that you had come to realize, however, that he wasn’t all that bad; just a huge puppy-dog that left empty vegemite containers in the cupboard. 

And now you were carrying his child. Things had a strange way of working out, you thought. 

"Sure thing, baby." He grinned, coming around to your chair and letting you take his hand as he assisted you out of your chair, one wide hand supporting your back as you stood up completely. You had been beyond excited to have passed the halfway mark in your pregnancy, just as Calum had been, but the added stress of carrying around a small child was beginning to strain you on you. 

"Thank you for lunch, Joy." You smiled and gave her a hug, kissing her cheek. "It was really nice."

"I’m just glad you and the baby are doing well. Make sure you con him to rubbing your back whenever you can." Joy laughed, patting Calum’s shoulder. He let out a soft chuckle and gripped your hand in his after hugging his mother. 

"She already has, don’t worry. I’m starting to think she’s using me." Calum teased, and you gave him a nudge with your shoulder. 

"Not at all, baby. Besides, who else would make me peanut butter and pickle sandwiches?" You smirked as Calum pulled a face, shuddering at the weird combinations of food you had been craving. 

"Don’t remind me." He laughed, sticking out his tongue.

LUKE : ”I am so ready to have this damn baby. I’m driving myself mad.” You swore, leaning on the couch and wallowing in the onslaught of gross emotions and sickness you were feeling. Your doctor had warned you that the last two months were the worst, and boy, was she right. 

"Well, sorry to break the news to you babe, but you still have another whole month to go." Luke informed you as joined you on the couch with a beer in one hand for himself and a lemonade for yourself. "But you can do it, I know you can." 

"I feel like a piece of trash." You sighed, resting your head against the couch. It was true - you had been plagued by nausea, pain, and to top it all off, the baby had been keeping you up all night with kicking and poking at your bladder and internal organs like they weren’t important. 

"You’re my piece of trash, though." Luke complimented, pulling you closer towards him. He’d been away at band practice for most of the afternoon and hadn’t been available to cuddle while you wasted away the day. 

"Any more bets on the gender?" You asked him, referring to the other boys and what their opinions were. You and Luke had decided to keep the gender a surprise and that meant, of course, betting on what the outcome would be. You personally felt it would be a boy, and thought your vote should count for two since you were the one actually carrying the thing. 

"Ashton says boy, but Cal and Mike both vote girl." Luke shrugged, downing a sip from his bottle. "But I agree with Ash. I have a feeling it’ll be a boy." "Me too." You sighed. "What are we gonna name him, though?"

"I thought we already talked about this?" Luke chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple. 

"Luke, Hurricane is not a good name for a kid, no matter if Barney Stintson says so.”

"Whatever. I like it." He teased, pouting his lips. You watched him as he smoothed back his blonde hair and you could only hope that your child, boy or girl, would be blessed with the same golden color.

"Yeah, but the kid might not." You laughed, thinking about the ridiculous names he’d come up with in the past. "I don’t know, how about, if it’s a boy, we name him after one of your brothers?" 

Luke scrunched his nose and shook his head, pulling a face. “No way. I am not fighting them over which name is picked to be the first.” He started massaging one shoulder with a wide hand, making you feel ten times better. “What about Wesley?”

"Wesley Hemmings." You weighed the words on your tongue, liking the sound. "Well, it’s one to consider." You smiled, pecking Luke on the lips and returning your head to rest on one broad shoulder. 

MICHAEL : "I don’t see why we need so many clothes." Michael whined, sitting cross legged on the nursery floor beside you, folding stacks of onsies and tiny outfits gifted to you by his mother after a shopping spree at Carter’s. "She’s just going to outgrow them in a few months anyway."

"I think it was nice of your mom to buy us all this." You countered, inclining your head towards your husband. "And besides, you were the one who couldn’t wait to buy baby clothes."

"Yeah, but I buy cool ones. Like this." Michael laughed, holding up a tiny shirt with the inscription ‘My mom is hotter than your mom’ printed in bold letters. You had told Michael not to buy, but as you were washing baby clothes one afternoon much like this, you saw the stupid shirt in the pile and almost killed him. “Mum doesn’t think it’s very funny.”

"Neither do I." You tried to shoot him a disappointed face but Michael was holding up another one that he had pulled out of the pile, his own face contorted into one of fear and major amusement. "Okay, okay, don’t kill me. Calum bought this one.” 

You groaned, wishing Michael had more baby friendly band mates, for written on the shirt was, in liner type, ‘All Daddy wanted was a blowjob’.

"I’m going to kill Calum." You gritted your teeth, piling clothes in front of you and your expanding belly. Michael let out a soft laugh and then shrugged, maintaining a thoughtful look in his eye.

"Well, it’s kind of true." 

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"ITS A COW LUKE"

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Do you have an instagram Em? Xx

I unfortunately do not .. never got around to I suppose! hope you are having a wonderful day :)

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So this is reaaaally late but HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! <3

THANK YOU  i hope you had a wonderful day filled with love and hugs and kisses and lots of michael clifford 

p.s i'm trying to finish a valentines day pref but its taking me forever so it might end up being late but whatevs

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happy valentines day you bunch of babes... hope you have a fantastic day! I'm working on a pref that should be up for tonight if i can get around to it! love you all!  

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THAT PANIC STORY WAS SO SWEET!! <3

THANK YOU YOU ARE TOO SWEET

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017 / Panic

author’s note : so let’s be clear I am no doctor and don’t have extensive knowledge about anxiety and panic disorders … i did some research and tried my best to make the stories seem real and what would actually happen… sorry i’m not an expert! 

requested by a lovely anon, sorry I’m so rubbish at posting :(

I only did luke and ashton because i didn’t want to seem too repetitive! hope that’s okay!

ASHTON : You let your socked feet plop one by one down the stairs, bored of everything to do in the house. Ashton had been downstairs for the last thirty minutes whipping up a batch of chocolate chip cookies and you were irritated you couldn’t seem to occupy yourself. 

Although, the house was beginning to take on a wonderful smell from whatever mess Ashton was probably making. 

You walked into the kitchen where a shirtless Ashton stood, bending over to peek into the oven. You coughed slightly to gain his attention, your boyfriend turning to face you with a small smirk.

“What have you been up too, baby girl? Trouble?” He teased, raising an eyebrow at you mysterious lack of pants under one of Ashton’s baggy sweatshirts.

“Always.” You shot back. Ashton simply smirked and leaned his toned back against the counter, looking you up and down while biting his lip. “I was having some fun.”

"Really? As in childlike fun or fun that I could actively participate in?" He mused, turning a dial on the oven.

You decided to toy with him further, pushing his limits before he (hopefully) trapped you against the very wall you were leaning against. You put on a lopsided grin and brushed your hair with your hands. “Well, you could participate, but I think I do well enough on my own.”

"Is that so? Maybe I’ll have to change your mind." He laughed lightly, and you felt a wave of nerves overcome you. You questioned the feeling - why were you nervous? It most defiantly wasn’t the first time you and Ashton had, well, done it - hell, it wasn’t the first time it had been done in the kitchen. But another knot formed in the pit of your stomach, and you squeezed your eyes shut in an effort to focus your breathing.

Your heart steadily picked up it’s pace, hammering like you’d just stepped off the treadmill upstairs. Maybe you were having a heart attack, you thought. You tried to calm yourself to try and remember what to do in the situation, but you were too scared to think of anything.

You could hear Ashton call your name from somewhere in the hazy distance, but you couldn’t open your eyes to search for him. You felt something hit your tailbone hard, feeling strangely similar to the rough tile lining the kitchen floor. You tried to open your mouth to cry for help, but there was only a croak. Your mouth felt drier than the Sahara Desert.

Something warm attached itself to your back, sending explosions on sensation across the tendons of your shoulders as it moved up and down soothingly. You felt your palms dry slightly from their previous clamminess, and your head regain a bit of stability.

You managed to pry one eye open, and Ashton’s curly head was smack in front of you, his lips moving but no sound coming from them. He had his brows knitted together in worry, and his arm was reached out behind you. He must be rubbing your back, you figured.

"(Y/N), are you okay? Baby, look at me. I’m right here. You’re okay, everything’s okay. It’s just me. I’ve got you." His voice started to ring clearer in your head, his mouth matching the sounds you heard.

"Am I dead?" You mumbled, your head still pounding as rapidly as your heart.

"No, you’re very alive and beautiful as ever. You’re here with me in the kitchen." Ashton murmured, tucking your hair behind your ears to wipe your forehead with a fresh towel. "You just kind of had a, uh, thing. I don’t know.”

You felt tears pricking your eyes, the level of adrenaline in your body competing with the level of fear in your body. Your cheeks were hot and your throat stung as the drops of salty water streamed over your cheekbones, Ashton systematically wiping them away with his thumb.

"I was so scared." You mumbled, a few tears falling into your mouth. "I don’t know why. I was, I just -"

"Shh, it’s okay." Ashton pulled you closer to him, wrapping you in two thick arms as he rested his chin on the top of your head. The pressure of his strength made you feel a little better, sniffling back the tears.

After what seemed like hours of sitting there on the kitchen floor while Ashton hummed and played soothingly with your hair, he shifted you to look at him.

"Well, my beautiful girl, what do you say we go see Dr. Cunningham for a visit?" Ashton suggested and you wiped your nose with the sleeve of your sweater. "Do you feel up for it?"

"Don’t let go." You whispered, motioning to his hand that was encasing your own and he nodded seriously.

"I won’t, I promise. I’ll never let you go."

LUKE : Luke liked his sleep, and usually hated being woken from his naps or nightly snoozing; but he didn’t mind it one bit when you woke up screaming and clutching at the invisible air for something to grasp. It had only happened once or twice before, but he forced himself to breathe deeply. Luke felt his heart race at the situation, but soon remembered the reason for the interruption - you had panic attacks and they seemed to strike at random, like 3:12 AM on a Tuesday.

"Luke, Luke, Luke…" You exclaimed over and over again until the word felt strange on your tongue, foreign to hear over the pounding of your heart. Luke winced at the sheer amount of stress you were under, and mentally scanned through his checklist you told him one afternoon when he’d asked about it.

You were trying to get out of the blankets cocooned around you, and Luke knew letting you run off by yourself was dangerous - there was so much adrenaline in your system you wouldn’t even realize you’d hurt yourself until it was too late.

"(Y/N), you’re alright. I’m right here, I won’t let anything happen to you." He murmured, shifting himself off the large queen sized bed you shared. He grabbed the black and white football tossed in the corner and bounced it once on his knee.

You had your arms wrapped around yourself, your eyes glassy as you watched Luke bounce the ball back and forth in his hands. You knew what to do, as this was his best tactic to help you calm your heart rate and focus your energy.

Holding out your hands, Luke raised an eyebrow at you. “Ready?”

You nodded, your mouth glued shut. Luke gently tossed the ball towards you with two hands, the football landing with a soft thud in your outstretched hands. You held the ball up to your chest, pushing it back across the room towards Luke as he groggily caught it with one hand.

"Breathe," He murmured, motioning to your mouth. "In through the nose, out the through the mouth, baby. That’s it, good girl." He encouraged as your tried to breathe calmly like he suggested.

Once you had exhaled the breath through though your mouth, Luke tossed the ball back to you to repeat the process.

"You’re alright, (Y/N). I’m right here." Luke confirmed as you continued to throw the ball with increasing force at him while breathing steadily.

After the minute hand had moved to the other side of the clock and you had been hurling the ball back and forth a hundred times, you felt your heart rate decreasing to a normal level and you let yourself sink onto the bed after throwing the football at Luke.

"Are you okay?" He wondered, kneeling in front of you and smoothing the hair from your face. "I won’t let anything happen to you."

"Yeah. I’m okay. Thank you." You whispered, still breathing technically.

"Good." Luke murmured, then smirked groggily. "Can I have a kiss?"

"Yes." You chuckled lightly and pecked his lips. He let his hands fall to your waist and gently lifted you up, spinning around so you straddled his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled away from your lips and wrapped his arms loosely around your waist as you buried your head in the crook of his neck.

"I love you so much, you know." He whispered after a few moments. You felt your cheeks singe pink before replying.

"I love you too."

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I NEED MORE OF YOUR PREFERENCES RIGHT THIS MINUTE :D

I'M SORRY IM SO BAD AT POSTING but bless u child thank u fear not! you will have one (maybe two if i can flesh it out) within a day!

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Do you think you could do one where you have a panic attack and he helps you calm down? I think you'd be great at writing something like that!! <3

It will be posted in a few hours! (i've got some sleep to catch up on before i proofread tee hee) thank you so much for the request and the kind words!

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When will we be getting your next preference? No rush babe I'm just excited 😊 Xxx

I'm working on some right now! School's been hetic but thank you all for being patient with me and how bad i am at posting 😍❤️

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im fucking done 

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I absolutely cannot wait to read more of your stuff!! <3

thank you my baby <3 this means so much to me!!! 

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i have a few requests in my ask, so do not fret! i will try and get them finished within the day!!

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016 / "There Goes My Life"

so this gave me some pretty intense feels… 5SOS with kids is stressful! michael’s is a bit short and cake’s is kind of similar, sorry about that.

based on the song ‘there goes my life’ by kenny chesney

this was requested by aa-rose23, thank you so much!

ASHTON : Hell I’m just a kid myself / how’m I gonna raise one?

You looked up at the ceiling, wishing it was different. Something in your gut had already guessed what the result would be, but your mind had still denied it, even after the third one. The two little lines on the stick had ripped apart your whole world as you rubbed at your stomach.

The only thought you could manage to form was how you’d break the news to Ashton.

You wondered if he’d be upset. You simply wished he wouldn’t get mad or angry. This was as much his doing as yours, you thought, so if you could keep your composure, so could he.

You tossed the stick into the trash and wiped your face with a cool towel in order to remove some of the redness. You hadn’t realized you’d been crying, but the angry red streaks in your skin said otherwise. It must have stressed you out, discovering there was a small human living inside you.

It was clear that you and Ashton both were way to young to be dealing with this, but you set your mind and made your way downstairs. You could do it. You’re going to have to do it. You were just kids yourselves, how were you supposed to raise one?

Ashton was lounging on the couch as he watched a football match, his hair pulled back into a man-bun, an idea he’d picked up from Harry while they toured together. You had told him yesterday he should get a haircut, even just to trim the rough ends, but he bluntly refused and kissed your lips.

“Uh, Ash?” You said meekly, your stomach sinking with every passing second. Your mind started to wander to the worst possible outcomes, and you squeezed your eyes shut in order to block the awful thoughts. Open mind, you thought.

“What, baby?” He wondered, muting the television and patting the cushion beside him. Ashton recognized the worried look on your face and it troubled him; he knew something was wrong and it was scaring him.

“You have to promise not to be mad. Or upset.” You said bluntly, taking a seat beside. Ashton habitually let his lips press to your cheek and let out a small chuckle.

“Alright, I promise.” He nodded.

“I’m, uh, well,” You stuttered, trying to find an easy way to say this. Your heart hammered as you realized there was none. “I guess, I just took a few tests and, uh, I’m pregnant.”

You winced, but Ashton said nothing for a few moments. He simply hummed softly, staring at the TV like was simply listening to tell him how your day had been. He didn’t look mad or upset, just like he’d promised.

Truthfully, Ashton didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know where to start, whether he should cry or scream or laugh, it was all piling up in his head and he wasn’t sure what to do. “Okay, that’s kind of big news.”

You nodded, leaning your head back against the sofa. Tears pricked at your eyes as you worked your jaw. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m-”

Ashton cut you off by placing a hand on your cheek. “Don’t apologize, (Y/N).” He mused, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him. “I kind of helped. What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know, Ash.” You whispered, letting your head fall against his chest. “We’re too young for this.”

“Yeah, but that’s alright. It’s not like we’re sixteen.” Ashton shrugged, thinking in own mind. He still had so many plans but suddenly they seemed thrown out the window. He thought they seemed so insignificant compared to this situation, and the stressful scenario this morning about what color shirt to wear to practice appeared so foolish in his head.

You looked up at him, watching his eyes. “Yeah, but you have a giant career. What are people gonna say?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Ashton said finally, grabbing your hips and lifting you to straddle his lap. “It doesn’t ever matter what people say about you, or about me. We live together, we’re happy, we’ve got a secure place and more than enough to raise a kid.”

“I’m scared.” You whispered into his shirt, and Ashton kissed your neck.

“Let’s just pray he doesn’t turn out like Michael.” Ashton teased, and even in the gloomy situation, you felt a little better.

CALUM : Momma’s waiting to tuck her in / as she fumbles up those stairs

Calum stood at the sink of the brightly lit kitchen, filling a glass with water to soothe his parched throat. He’d been laughing the entire day, a solid afternoon of adventure at the beach with his little family, and the scratching of his throat confirmed the fact. Calum watched the dim sky outside the window as he downed the cool liquid, waiting for the patter of little footsteps that alerted him to the small child wanting to kiss him goodnight.

It was the highlight of his day. He’d never thought anyone could mean that much to him, besides you of course. Some days it scared him as he still tried to work the roped of fatherhood, but most days it made him the proudest person in the world.

Calum slid the tall glass into the top rack of the stainless steel dishwasher and leaned against the cabinet, keeping an eye the doorway to the kitchen. After a few moments, he heard the echo of sock feet running down the hall and the tiny frame of his two year old daughter come barging into the room.

“Goodnight!” Lucy Hood shrieked, throwing her petite arms into the air as she beamed at her father. Her round face was freshly washed and her teeth cleaned, accomplished by you as waited upstairs to read the young kid a bedtime story.

“Goodnight, baby girl.” Calum kneeled down onto the tile floor and held out his own arms, bracing himself as Lucy wrapped her arms around his neck. She smelled like laundry detergent and vanilla, a scent Calum wished he could breathe in forever. “Did you have fun today?”

She nodded vigorously as she pulled away from him, chewing on her plump bottom lip. Calum was always surprised at how much she kept turning into a replication of himself, including the big brown eyes he always used on you to get what he wanted. He just hoped she wouldn’t do the same, as he didn’t think he’d be able to refuse.

“Yes, thank you.” She replied happily, gripping her blanket in her small fist. Lucy wrapped the fabric around her blue pyjamas that had been a gift from her aunt on Mali’s last visit. “Can we ‘gain?”

“Maybe next weekend. Do you think Uncle Ash will want to come with us, too?” Calum hinted, raising an eyebrow to his daughter. She grinned harder and nodded again.

“Unca Ash! Yay!” She cheered, placing an open palm softly against Calum’s face. He couldn’t help but smile at her actions and how she was basically a tiny, drunk version of you. “Goodnight, Daddy.”

“Goodnight, Luce. Be good for your Mum, okay?” Calum instructed, tapping his cheekbone as he tacitly mentioned a kiss.

Lucy placed a wet kiss on his face, and Calum ruffled her whiskey coloured hair as she spun away from him and stumbled up the stairs, still taking them partially on her hands and knees. He sighed heavily, never wishing these days would end. He had thought, long ago when you had announced to him your pregnancy, that this would all be a mistake. He didn’t know if he could handle being a father, much less a good one. Calum had spent the last two years trying to figure out if he was doing this whole thing right and not royally screwing Lucy up in the process.

But as he turned his head and admired the pictures coating the refrigerator, he knew otherwise. She was the best thing to happen to him.

LUKE : She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear / sleep tight, blue eyes and bouncin’ curls

“Time to sing!” Josephine Hemmings demanded as her father strolled into her room, watching as Luke had his acoustic guitar strung over his shoulder. She knew what bedtime meant; a lullaby sung to her by Luke himself, but since it was a special Friday night and Luke had been away for a few days with the band, he’d elected to bring his guitar into the routine as well.

Josephine clapped her hands as she sat on the edge of the bed, already in her Spider-man pyjamas. Luke couldn’t remember where she’d gotten them or even when her four year old brain started to like the superhero, but he thought it was cute regardless.

“Now, now, now, my little Josie.” Luke sighed, strumming a light chord on the instrument as he joined her on her big-girl bed. Josie lifted the creamy white duvet and wriggled herself underneath, letting her blonde hair splay out around her like a pool of gold. “What song would you like for bedtime tonight? Any requests?”

Josie giggled slightly, the sound like music to Luke’s ears. He would do anything just to hear the sound for the rest of his life. She pulled the raggedy teddy bear from her nightstand into the bed beside her, her blue eyes peeping back at Luke even through the dim light of her room. “The usual, please, Daddy.”

Luke smirked, amused at his young daughter’s manners. You’d taught her well, and the evidence was showing up in everything she did. Luke was proud to have raised a polite little girl, and felt a surge of happiness whenever someone complimented Josie’s defined manners.

“Alright, then, Ms. Hemmings. The usual it is.” Luke strummed lightly as Josie leaned her head back into the crisp white pillows and shut her eyes. Her ping-pong ball cheeks softened slightly as she let her mouth open slightly, much like you did when you slept, Luke realized.

He then broke into song, softly, but still loud enough to hear. His gentle rendition of “Josephine” by The Wallflowers almost always put her to sleep within the second verse, and it was no different this time. Luke wasn’t sure if she’d made the connection with the song, as she shared her name with it, but he simply figured she liked the song. Or at least he hoped she did.

Josie’s breathing filled the room after a few minutes, her eyes shut for the night. Luke lowered the volume of his playing until the guitar was silent, as to not wake her with an abrupt stop. He pulled the instrument to the side of his body as he stood, leaning over Josie’s bed and watching her eyelashes flutter along with her dreams.

Luke kissed her forehead gently, and slowly paced out of the room, shutting the door partly behind him. He made his way down the hall to your shared bedroom, you already curled up in the large mattress much like your daughter.

“Do I have to sing to you, too?” Luke mused, making you blush.

You shook your head, trying to calm the redness from your cheeks. “That’s okay. Did she go down easy?”

Luke ignored your question as he stripped out of his jean and shirt, climbing into bed beside you. “Do you think we’re doing this right?”

You couldn’t help blink in astonishment, Luke always being the confident parent out of the two of you. “I don’t know. But she’s a good kid, and I love her, you love her, I love you. So at this point, it doesn’t really matter.”

"I hope so." Luke nodded, slowly, letting his eyes close. "I love you too."

MICHAEL : He checked the oil and slammed the hood / said you’re good to go

“I can’t believe you’re going to fucking college.” Michael swore, shaking his head as he leaned over the hood of Em’s car, replacing the oil cap. He hadn’t developed an addiction to cars over the years like Ashton had, but Michael’d be damned if he let his baby girl leave the county with a faulty motor.

“It’s not like I’m moving to the other side of the world, Dad.” Emerson Clifford raised an eyebrow as she loaded another milk crate of belongings into the backseat of the Audi. “I’m just two hours away.”

“I know, I know.” Michael grumbled, wishing he didn’t have to go through this. It seemed like just yesterday he’d welcomed a tiny, screaming Emerson into the world and he didn’t think she’d grow up this fast. He shut the hood and wiped his hands on his jeans before continuing. “It’s the ideologically of it all. I didn’t go to school and I turned out fine.”

Emerson laughed, her smile almost identically to her father’s, except the two years of braces that had lined her teeth in secondary school. “Yeah, you turned out fantastic. And I’m sure Mum will be pleased to hear about you telling me to blow university off.”

Michael shrugged and smirked. “If it means you stay with us for a while longer, I’m all for it. You can be in the band!”

Em rolled her eyes, but the grin was still evident on her face. Michael was proud of her, immensely so, for getting into the university of her choice; but her choice was two hours away and Michael still remembered how strange it felt when she’d slept over at a friend’s house for the first time.

“I’ll call you everyday.” Michael teased, strolling over to the side of the car as Emerson shut the rear door, all her stuff piled into the backseat.

“Not everyday.” Emerson winced, making Michael shudder with laughter. “How about you text me every day and call me every time you watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother without me.”

“Deal.” Michael shook, thinking that’d he simply watch an episode everyday of the show to form himself a loophole.

“I love you, Daddy.” Em sighed, wrapping her arms around her father in security. Michael kissed the top of her brown hair and crinkled his eyes as he tried not to get emtional.

“I love you too, Em.” He replied. “Now, let’s go get your mother and see how long it takes for her to cry, huh?”

“You’re on.” Emerson challenged, grinning up at Michael with the same eyes of his baby girl he’d seemingly just tucked into bed last night.

[hemmly-blog]

015 / Nightmares

Yo yo yo so this was requested and here we go.. Sorry I’ve been trash at posting lately but exams suck as I’m sure you all know

sorry if this sucks, it’s late and i just wanna sleep . love you all and hugs n kisses x

ASHTON : He twisted the keys to the apartment around his fingers like a ring, catching the bunches of cool metal in his wide hand every time they swung around. Ashton felt bad about working so late, but they’d been on a roll at the studio and wanted to get as much together as they could.

Ashton knew when he went back in the morning half of the stuff they’d recorded would be crap, but it was the effort the boys had put in that counted. If it took a hundred drafts to create one good song, Ashton thought, he’d just have to deal with it.

The door swung open as Ashton jingled the lock, breathing the fresh scent of laundry detergent and the vanilla candle on the stove filling his nose. There was no sound in the apartment except the gentle whirl of the ceiling fan above him in the hall.

As Ashton passed the den, he saw the light coming from the TV streaming into the hallway. He wondered if you’d fallen asleep watching some reality show he despised, but the couch was empty save for a plaid blanket bunched in one corner.

He hummed, low in his throat as he entered the bedroom, seeing a mass of blankets curled around you as you slept. Ashton couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as he saw your face, scrunched together like you did when he cracked a dirty joke or let his hands slip a little too low. Careful not to wake you, Ashton peeled his jeans and shirt off and traded them for a loose fitting pair of boxers before softly crawling into the bed beside you.

“Can I have some of these?” Ashton whispered, mostly to himself, as he tried to pry some of the duvet back from your grasp. It was bundled tightly in your fist, and your mouth parted slightly as you shook your head.

“No, no, no.” You whimpered, wriggling from something Ashton couldn’t see. He was about to wake you in order to make you share, but recognized what we going on as soon as you continued speaking in your sleep.

“Please, please. Don’t! Ash! Help, no, no…” Your body rolled over to face him and Ashton felt his heart sink. Nightmares were the worst - he knew that firsthand as a frequent recipient. So, Ashton employed the same method you used when he would whine in his sleep from the dreams trying to get him.

He leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, gently shaking your shoulder as he did so. So as not scare you, he pulled away as he watched your eyes flutter open like the wings of a bird.

He jolted slightly as you shot up in bed, sitting forwards and covering your eyes with your hands. It had been brutal, things happening as you seemingly couldn’t find your way through the darkness.

Ashton reached and rubbed your back soothingly as you tried not to burst into tears from the nightmare. “It’s okay.” He whispered, gently pulling you back down to wrap you up in his arms. He felt you shaking slightly as he let you catch your words in your mouth. “You’re okay, you’re with me. I won’t let anything happen.”

"I watched a movie before bed and it was really scary so I turned it off, and then I was having the worst nightmare." You managed, sniffing back the tears. "I was so scared, and I don’t even remember what was happening."

"It’s alright." He hummed, and you felt your chest relax slightly as the vibrations resonated through you. "I’ve got you."

"I’m sorry," You whispered. You wiped your face with your hands as Ashton held you in his grip. "For you to come to me scaring myself."

"Don’t ever be sorry for nightmares, baby. They’re only dreams and they’re not true." He breathed as he reached down to your hips and pulled you over to lay on top of him, your head resting on his chest as his heart beat steadily. "And I’m just glad you’re alright. Now, try and go back to sleep."

You nodded into his chest as you shut your eyes, happy to have the quiet thump of his heart lull you back to sleep.

CALUM : Calum slowly opened one eye, peeking at the glowing red numbers a few feet from his face as he lifted his head. He wasn’t sure what had woke him, but a few seconds of listening proved that it was only silent in the room you two shared.

Calum laid his head back down on the pillow, shutting his eyes in an effort to try and return to sleep. As soon as his heavy lids closed, however, he felt a twitch against his leg where your own leg was hooked around it, your bare skin feeling like silk where it rubbed against his knee.

He lifted his head again to sneak a peek at you, and he immediately frowned. Your face was contorted with a look of helplessness and fear, and Calum was sure that if your eyes were open, they’d be the size of the moon outside the window.

You twitched again, and suddenly like a puppet on a string you reached out and grabbed his bicep, your fingers turning white against his skin. He winced and removed your hand, rolling your shoulder back and forth under his hand. Calum was beginning to get nervous when you started to mutter inaudible words he knew meant you’d been insnared in a nightmare.

“(Y/N), wake up!” He whispered, poking your cheek. “(Y/N)!”

Your face slowly relaxed and you opened your eyes, t bloodshot slightly as Calum watched you sympathetically.

“You were having a nightmare.” He stated gently, rubbing your shoulder. You blinked once, and then twice, making sure it was still your boyfriend laying there beside you on the mattress.

"I - I was dreaming that you left." You stuttered, pulling your worn shirt collar up around your mouth as if it would protect you.

"That I left?" Calum wondered in disbelief, his voice still thick with the early hour. "As in left you?”

You didn’t dare open your mouth for fear of breaking down completely, instead you nodded your head.

Calum sighed and reached out to grasp your hip, pulling you towards him and let you nestle you head into the crook of where his shoulder met his chest as he lay on his side.

"I hope you know I would never do that." Calum directed, wrapping his fingers into your hair while his other hand kept you curled next to him. "It’s just a nightmare."

"I know, I know." You breathed, trying to calm yourself. "I just love you so much."

"I love you more." Calum smiled into the back of your neck, his breath tingling on your spine. All was quiet for a moment as your heart returned to it’s normal rate, until Calum piped up.

"Even when you wake me up at thee in the bloody morning."

LUKE : The kitchen was quiet as you leaned against the cold marble counter, sipping on the straw connecting your mouth to the glass of water in your hand. You wriggled your bare toes against the tile floor as you tried to calm your racing heart.

This hadn’t been the first time you’d had to remove yourself from bed and the confines of Luke’s comfy body, the nightmares leaving you in a cold sweat and feeling like you were about to hurl.

As you stood sipping, you heard the bed rustle from down the hall and Luke’s heavy footsteps clunk towards the kitchen.

He stumbled in, wearily, taking a seat at the island and watched you with curious eyes that flicked up and down your almost bare frame, save one of Luke’s tank tops and your comfiest pair of boy shorts. The other boys always talked about how much they liked lingerie, but Luke had a special taste for your casual underwear and liked it best. It suited you, he thought.

"C’mere." He cocked his head and gestured for you to join him. You complied and set down your cup of water, pacing over to sit on his lap. Luke immediately put a hand up your shirt to rub your back, leaning his head against your shoulder. "You alright?"

"Yeah." You nodded, leaning down to kiss his head, feeling him chuckle softly at the action. "Just worried that I’m losing my mind."

"It’s okay." Luke smirked, looking up at you and kissing at your neck. "I like them as crazy as the come."

"I bet you say that to all the girls." You teased back, resting you head into his shoulder as he continued to rub your back.

"You’re the only one." He replied with a gentle hum, closing his eyes. "Are you just stressing because I’m going to be touring in a few weeks?"

"Maybe." You sighed, guessing that was part of the problem. Luke would be away for a while as they toured, making you anxious about him, and you.

"Well, do you wanna go back to bed?" Luke suggested, breathing heavily through his nose. You knew if you made him stay out here any longer he’d fall asleep and probably end up dropping you.

"Bed sounds good." You sighed, and gasped slightly as Luke slid his hands under your butt and gave it a cheeky squeeze. "Luke!"

"That’s for scaring me. I woke up to an empty bed. I didn’t know where you went." He admitted, and you took his hand in yours as you walked back to the bedroom.

MICHAEL : Michael had thought it would be relaxing to just sit with you and watch a selection of movies on Netflix, and evidently he was right.

You were laying on top of him with your arms snaked under his back as you slept, your gentle breathing fanning Michael’s bare arm as he watched an episode of Friends quietly. He wasn’t really tired, but he didn’t dare move and wake you. He thought you looked like a sleeping kitten, with your hoodie brought up around your face.

Michael looked away from the TV as he felt your hips roll slightly against his own, thinking you’d woken and were trying to toy with him. When he peeked and your face, however, your eyes were screwed tightly shut.

Michael ignored the twitch and continued his show until a gentle moan slipped out of your mouth, filling Michael’s ears like water. He reached up and brushed the air from your eyes as you scowled in your sleep.

This time it was a whimper, and Michael tilted his head back against the arm of the couch. If this is what he got for being a good boyfriend and letting himself be your personal pillow, someone really hated him.

You whimpered again and buried your head further into his chest, gripping his shirt in your fists like they were your only lifelines as you drowned.

Michael didn’t know what was happening nor what he should do, so he reverted to the technique his mother used on him when he was a child plagued with a nightmare. Letting his hand pat and rub your back softly, Michael hummed the lyrics to “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by the Rolling Stones, the first song he could think of.

You seemed to be settling down slightly, and Michael reached again for the remote to unpause the episode when you moaned again as you opened your eyes.

"It’s alright, baby." He said soothingly, sitting up slightly so he could console you better. "Were you having a nightmare?"

You thought for a moment, your brain feeling fuzzy like a buzz from one too many beers. Your fingers were still entwined in Mikey’s shirt, but you removed one hand to rub your eye like a toddler.

"Yeah, I think so." You said, confused. "But I don’t remember what it was about."

"Well, you were dreaming about something." He chuckled as you dozily leaned against his chest again, a wave of fear overcoming you as you started to tremble.

"Hey, hey, hey." Michael hushed, smoothing your hair. "You’re okay. See, you’re here with me. I won’t let anything happen." He promised as you wrapped your arms around him tightly.

"I’m scared, Mikey." You whispered into his shirt, tears staining the black cotton. Michael desperately wanted to know what you were scared of so he could abolish off the face off the earth, but he didn’t think you knew yourself.

"It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you, always." He hummed, resuming his Rolling Stones song from before. You felt your eyes closing softly as his words began to resonate within you, like the gentle assurance that he wouldn’t let you go.