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[heresiae]

people don't know that helmets with very limited vision that covered yourself very much like the modern motor bike helmet were used mostly by knights, and I mean it as "soldiers on horseback".

your task in battle as a horse rider is charging and literally mow the enemy (the weapon was called a "glaive"), so you need to be fully covered but also, you only need to see in front of you. those helmets would be useless the moment someone takes you down from your horse (and they have a special hook to do that which I don't remember the name now). but also, the moment they took you down from your horse your were pretty done for it, not much because of the weight of the plates, but because the hooker had people around him ready to chop the shit out of you as soon as you hit the ground.

ground soldiers had a bit more open helmets, although you would have really wanted one with a nose guard. really really.

also, they were covered in chain mails and plates. the full plated armor was developed after medieval times.

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another human successfully conquered

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I hate the market

Me: I want a simple A5 slim black frame

The market online and offline: nope, you either buy tacky, chic, multiple pictures, sparkly, shiny, doubtful choice of colours, multiple frames or nothing

That one business franchise with one store at the very border of the City: you can buy it very cheap online and collect it physically, but if you want it shipped the total cost will still be less than the single frame in the rest of the market

When did we go so wrong?

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in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

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I always instantly know when my cats went potty. not because I hear it or smell it, but because of the zoomies.

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why aren't they let them in?

“The Airbnb host didn’t tell us was a shared property“

(Source)

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i'm sorry but this is the only submission to this trend that i'll consider giving any thought to

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actually, this is the perfect time. there should be at least one intelligent species in this galaxy.

NOT RIGHT NOW, MARS!!

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but ehi, at least now they get the number of fingers right!

😭😭😭😭

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oh trust me, it happens even if you started watch it as an adult (and the other problem is, the rest of sci-fi stuff starts looking a bit too serious for its own good, or not emotional enough).

the problem with watching doctor who as a child is that a small part of your brain can never completely give up the idea that the doctor exists. if i saw a blue police box materialize out of thin air i would not be anywhere near surprised enough.

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Tolkien’s best passage

Tolkien gets a lot of respect for being a great storyteller, but I think a lot of times people don’t really understand that, as an author, he had an amazing command of language and style (and poetry). I wanted to share my favorite passage of his, in terms of linguistic style, which comes from the Return of the King, for those who may not be as familiar with his work. It is worthwhile to read this aloud and really listen to how the sentences flow: 

“And far away, as Frodo put on the Ring and claimed it for his own, even in Sammath Naur the very heart of his realm, the Power in Barad-dûr was shaken, and the Tower trembled from its foundations to its proud and bitter crown. The Dark Lord was suddenly aware of him, and his Eye piercing all shadows looked across the plain to the door that he had made; and the magnitude of his own folly was revealed to him in a blinding flash, and all the devices of his enemies were at last laid bare. Then his wrath blazed in consuming flame, but his fear rose like a vast black smoke to choke him. For he knew his deadly peril and the thread upon which his doom now hung. From all his policies and webs of fear and treachery, from all his stratagems and wars his mind shook free; and throughout his realm a tremor ran, his slaves quailed, and his armies halted, and his captains suddenly steerless, bereft of will, wavered and despaired. For they were forgotten. The whole mind and purpose of the Power that wielded them was now bent with overwhelming force upon the Mountain. At his summons, wheeling with a rending cry, in a last desperate race there flew, faster than the winds, the Nazgûl, the Ringwraiths, and with a storm of wings they hurtled southwards to Mount Doom.”

I hope you appreciate this as much as I do. If you have similar favorite passages (in terms of storytelling, or style, or anything), reblog and let me know. In terms of pure emotion, I don’t think anything in the Lord of the Rings is more beautifully done than the scene of Sam and Frodo talking about being in a story and part of an adventure, but this passage wins in terms of literary ability. 

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"Midnight" is one of my favourite episodes!!

A speedpaint video of this will be available at my Patreon on may 1st

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The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

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thank to the last comment, the image of trolls in frozen style having a full civilization in old volcanic caves and luring humans to the town is solidly living in my head

There was a glowing patch of sky lurking outside our town earlier and the dogs went bonkers so this is an auspicious start to 2024

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secretly and publicly