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How do you get away from social media? It can be toxic and I kind of want to take a break. Any advice? (Also did you delete your Instagram?)

sometimes i literally just have this impulsive feeling and deactivate my accounts temporarily and then delete my apps because i’m just so fed up with everything that i see on social media. I did delete my instagram some months ago maybe around august? for a month or so.  I just needed to refresh my mind and heart to remind myself what is truly important in life and that social media doesn't define me. I definitely encourage breaks. delete your apps for a week and train your mind to be strong. you won’t regret it honestly, you appreciate your life and the things around you so much more. 

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I have really mixed feelings whenever I see you pop up on my timeline or on my explorers page on ig, because you used to be really mean to me in high school. Nonetheless, I truly hope you've grown as a person, both in that sense and other parts of life. Maybe you could do a blog post on bullying/something related to that?

Hi there, 

wow i am so deeply and sincerely sorry for making you feel this way. I can’t think of who you are but if you want to come to me off of anon i’d like to truly apologize to you like you deserve. I never seen myself as a bully but you telling me this really makes me reflect on myself and my actions. I hope you found it in your heart to forgive me. i haven't been active on here but i will be active on some other accounts on a different website soon. I’ll definitely talk about bullying and the things related. thank you for being brave enough to come to me anon or not!! 

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Fenty x Puma RTW Spring ‘18

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Chanel 1993

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Me and this dude have been together for 2 years. We broke up about 2 months ago, but we still talk once in a while. I caught him talkin to other girls when we were together. And as stupid as it sounds, I wanna get back with him bc I love him so much and we’ve been through so much shit together. A lot of females who’ve been through that tell me not to get back with him bc he’s not gnna change. I don’t know what to fucking do.

hey b! i’m sorry you’re going through this.. from my experience I’ve been cheated on ALOT of times and gave out chances like nothing because I believed I love them. guess what? I regretted every single chance I gave. I’m not going to tell you to leave him but in the end if he really loved you he wouldn't even think about doing that whack shi... i’m guessing you’re young so hun’ don't stress it and allow time and God to work out what needs to be done in your life. p.s. history means nothing. don’t let the past define you and your relationship xo, kaui

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I know this is unrelated to your blog but I was wondering what are your fave makeup products right now? All your makeup looks are so nice!!

omg this is so funny bc i have no idea how to do makeup and hardly know what i’m even using! LOL thank you so much though i’m flattered af. Off the top of my head...For foundation I use infallible by loreal in C107 & C106.. i have to mix it bc i have like a olive undertone so it’s hard to get my color. my blush is wet n wild, i use stick contour idk what its called but it’s from longs and sometimes smashbox, i’ve been religiously using bretman rocks highlight babe in paradise palette (get lei’d & mahu are favs), eyeshadow some cheap ass longs stuff, nyx finishing spray (whenever i find it bc i always misplace it lmfao)... OH and maybelline concealer in 10 & 25.. don't even think its the right color though HAHAHA. i always stick with like rose pink lip colors or like mauve... sorry hope that works for you! maybe i’ll do an actual post on it :)

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Chanel RTW Fall ‘94

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Always defend your right to heal at your own pace. You are taking your time. You are allowed to take your time.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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I’ve heard this quote tons of times in church & was reminded of it while scrolling through pinterest. Some encouragement for your day!  xoxo, Kaui

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Hi Kaui! I was wondering if you could make a blog post about friendships, drama, ex friends, fake friends, toxic people..... THE WHOLE DAMN SHPEAL!!! I’m going through some shit rn and would love to hear about your experiences maybe and some advice.

Yes! i’ve been getting requests for this so it’s definitely coming! My advice for now is to confront the problem if they’re a person you truly care about and don’t want to lose. if it’s people just being mean to you literally just drop them...block them if you have to. blocking people isn't a form of weakness but rather a way to strengthen yourself and save you from negativity. I’m sorry you’re going through this! Don’t feel alone ok? because we are ALL going through something similar. push through babe!

much love, 

Kaui

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Did you ever figure out what made you “need” someone to love so badly? As a father of two girls what I’ve read is that the daughter’s relationship with their father is responsible for this type of behavior. In your post, it seems like you had at least a fairly good relationship with yours because you stated you wanted the live you saw between your mom and your dad. This leaves me a little bewildered and scared based on your blog..lol. That’s why I was wondering where the “need” was from.

Thank you for this question! My parents had me at a young age and separated when I was 2, so when I said I wanted a relationship as my parents I was referring to my stepparents & biological (dad+stepmom/mom+stepdad), whose relationships took a lot of work but always shone through with the love they had for each other. I was able to experience everything my biological parents went through when remarrying which taught me great lessons. My father and I are actually like bestfriends, but when he found another woman I think I felt that our relationship as father and daughter was threatened. The attention wasn't the same and now his love had to be shared. I think that’s part of the reason where the “need” came from because I longed for something that was all about me.. get where i’m coming from? I also think that being exposed to certain shows, movies, music & social media at an early age made me think that I needed a boyfriend type of love. If you watch disney channel there are little girls falling “inlove” at such a young age which makes children watching believe that it’s okay to have boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationships normal to have when you’re like 10! Don’t be scared though, my advice is to just teach your daughters what to look for in a man even if you felt like you weren’t the man that you’d want for your daughters at one point. I can only imagine someone better than who I was for any of my kids when it happens. Also, filter what your kids see and hear. Guard their heart, mind & soul until they know how to do so properly. Lastly, create a bond with your girls that they know they can be transparent and honest with you. If they confide in you and tell you something they’re scared to share don’t be the punishing parent but the educating and understanding parent and then bring correction. Too many times did I try to be honest like my parents asked me to be and they took something away or grounded me when I thought I could confide in them. I hope this answer your question! I believe you’re a great father! someone who asks these kind of questions have to be and have a lot of love for their children. God bless you and your family. 

lots of love, Kaui

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Hey can you do a post sometime on friendships? The good the bad and the ugly? I feel like a lot of girls out there have been through some rough patches or are currently struggling with a toxic friend and don’t know what to do.

most definitely! thank you for the request! 

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your relationship post is just what i needed! after my first heartbreak i hoped and prayed for the next person to treat me right and be all i needed. i thought i met that person in college because i felt genuinely in love and i thanked God for blessing me with him. but after the same arguments every month he left 2 months ago and i was heartbroken again and asked why. i’m still kinda down but also realizing that i needed to love myself first while also connecting more and putting my trust in God

I’m so happy that you could relate. Just remember that everything and everyone is put into our lives for a reason whether we recognize it or not. When negative things happen try to gain a lesson from it, even if it’s kinda hard. Continue to love yourself and put your trust and love in God. and instead of asking why, ask what or how... “what do I do next God?” or “How can I use what i’ve lost to make a positive impact in my or others lives?”. You got this!!! love always, Kaui

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Hi kaui I absolutely love this idea that you had to start your own blog. I feel like you’re a beautiful soul who’s words deserved to be heard!

Hi love! thank you so much... i’m so excited to give you guys more! I have a lot of ideas that I can’t wait to share. thank you for taking you time in reading.. you don’t understand how much it means to me! much love, kaui

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SOCIAL SCIENCE EXPERIMENT! If you’re scrolling through twitter the #1 topic you’d find tweeted would probably be about relationships then it’d be money. I’m actually going to give it a try right now and see if i can prove my theory... So does this prove it? straight up I just scrolled the feed again and there are WAY MORE tweets about relationships rn *rolls eyes*. I would re-screenrecord but I am way too lazy to edit a whole video again LOL. so just take my word for it PLSSSS. 

The thing about relationships is that it begins as soon as we form into a lil embryo in our mothers womb... I mean we’re eating food straight from our mother and if i’ve learned anything about relationships the #1 way to someones heart is definitely food amirighttttttt???? But seriously... our first real relationship that matters is with our mom, then the rest of our family or our caretakers who are suppose to prepare us for relationships with future partners. 

My first “boyfriend” or wutevaaaa was in 6th grade. I wasn’t even allowed to have a boyfriend but I wanted one so bad that i did it behind my parents back which just got me grounded and my first phone taken away hahahah. It’s so funny to think about bc the whole relationship was over text. I literally couldn't even sit by him because I was so nervous and shame. I remember my finger touched his finger for the first time and my whole face was a damn tomato. My first kiss was in 7th grade with my 3rd “boyfriend” and honestly it was pretty cute. It was during our cross-country practice and we were on this long trail that you could easily have personal time. We counted to 3 then swiftly pecked each other on the lips and laughed about it. It’s crazy because at this time in my life I thought I was so grown, grown enough to make the decision of giving these parts of myself away to a boy. But then I look at my siblings that are at that age in life now and to me they’re so young. I was SO young. (Sorry if you’re a parent and you’re reading this i hope i’m not freaking you out right now, but isn't that crazy?) And my parents were super involved in my life yet they had no idea! The real mess started the summer of 8th grade though... 

Friends, I want this to be a place of honesty so of course I need to be honest with you. I’m going to tell you things that my parents don’t even know and they’ll most likely read this so now they’re gonna know and have wide eyes and be like “this damn kid” or even worse but here goes nothing. I lost my virginity the summer of going into 9th grade to my first “real” boyfriend. He was the first boy that I actually loved and believed I had a future with. I was borderline CRAZY if not actually that. In all honesty I regret it. I regret it sooooo much, not the relationship but having sex at such a young age. I always told myself i’d save it for my husband because that’s what I was taught and encouraged to do. But because I was so caught up in wanting to make my own decisions and be “grown” I made the mistake of giving the most important part of myself away to someone who didn’t even deserve me. He ended up fooling around with other girls, lying to me about all kinds of things, ignoring me for days, and causing emotional damage that I could never prepare myself for. The fact that my parents didn’t know what was going on made everything worse because the only people that I could turn to were my friends and they themselves didn’t have the experience or guidance that I so badly needed. But I dealt with it, learned a lot from it, but still wanted more. 

Throughout high school I made tons of bad decisions when it came to boys. I wanted to be loved so badly. I wanted someone to care for me as much as I could for them. I had this emptiness in me that made me go after these boys that could care less about scoring my heart. I fell too fast and too deep, creating more and more damage for myself. It was like I allowed myself to be cheated on, mistreated, used, lied to and torn apart. It still haunts me to this day because I get so scared that the person i’m with now could do it to me and I would let them. The most scary part about it is that I never stopped loving those people that did me so dirty. I always saw the good in them when the bad outweighed. I see so much potential in people that I forget about myself and what could happen to me. Eventually once college came around I started to not care about love. I told myself F love... i’ll be single until i’m 25 just having casual sex with guys that probably can’t even remember my first name. No one cares, I don’t care and if worst comes to worst i’ll be the cool alcoholic aunty. YEAH HAHA that was me. But who was i fooling?! My heart craves the love that I see in movies, that my parents have for each other, that I see others having on the TL I just mentally wasn't ready for it. 

I had to learn to love myself. I had to love myself in ways that other’s couldn’t ever see me as. I had to tell myself daily how beautiful and deserving I was. That God had someone designed specially for me. That I was smart, lovable, fun, and a QUEEN. I wasn't what others labeled me as. I wasn't who I labeled me as. I came to the conclusion that looking for love and teaching or forcing someone to love me wasn't what I wanted. I wanted my prince, who knew who and what he was loving and chose to love her anyway. THAT’S what I deserved. That’s who found me. And every day I wish that I could’ve saved all those precious parts of me for him and that he did the same for me. I wish that we could've been each others firsts. But life doesn't work that way and funny enough we’ve been through the exact same things as each other. Which makes us both crazy and sometimes untrusting but we love each other hard. We love each other enough to not care what anyone says about the other half. Most of all we love one another through the hardships that life has for us. 

With that said, I encourage you to first love yourself as cliché as that sounds. Because how can you know how to love someone else or for someone to love you if YOU don't even know how to love you? 2nd THINK. Think about what you’re giving away of yourself and think about to who. 9/10 times we don't end up with our middle school or high school love that we think is going to last forever. So don’t be so quick to think that they deserve the most important parts of yourself. Only you deserve you until proven otherwise. 3rd CARE. it’s the best thing you can do for yourself because once you stop caring about who you are and what you know that’s when you let yourself go (oh damn that’s bars). 4th don't give up on you. We’re young and as much as time is precious so is your heart, mind and soul. Don’t give up on them. And if someone is giving up on you, let them. Because someone who truly loves you will never even think about doing that. They’re going to stand with you through the storm and the rainbows. But don't let those that can't handle your storm define you and make you think you aren't and can't be loved.

 God loves you and I love you. But God’s love will always withstand others. 

xo, Kaui

P.S. if you have any questions or want advice send me a message on my ASK <- click there. I’ll try  to answer everything to the best of my ability. 

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Hey loves! 

Welcome to my very first writers blog. My name is Kaui Goodness and have been alive for a good 20 years but can’t wait for whats to come. I’ve been wanting to start this for a while now but always put it off because of insecurities and constant excuses. But here I am! Finally putting my words to action. 

First, thank you for giving me a chance and clicking on the link, i’ll try my absolute best to not disappoint. Second, GET COMFORTABLE. Slap on a face mask, heat up your tea, and stretch your fingers for some scrollin’ girl. The purpose of this blog is to give you folks and myself a safe place. A place where you can ask me questions for advice, about me, or really whatever you want! (sidenote: I will not respond to any negative attacks) I want this blog to be a place of encouragement, inspiration, self-love, education, and of course fun! I’ll be posting things that inspire me whether its quotes, people, health, fashion, food, travel or music that I hope you can take an interest in as well. I will also be  giving daily entries a shot and giving my poems a place to live. So I know you’re wondering why there’s a scripture from the Bible... no this is not a religious blog, yes i do believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Don’t be scared or nervous i’m not about to shove God in your face. Although personally God has been a big factor in my life, especially in the starting of this blog “Her Within”. 

This blog is made to be real, raw, ALL- NATURAL. Where honesty will flow freely. I hope to gain your trust and create a bond with you all! I’m so stoked for this guys you don’t understand!!! can you put emojis in this thing?? LOL. Ok talk to ya’ll soon! xoxo, Kaui