heterophobicmaxanne

[heterophobicmaxanne]

[heterophobicmaxanne]

the fuck man do i have a tumblr criminal record or some shit ??

[heterophobicmaxanne]

[heterophobicmaxanne]

i am in a retirement home in the year 2085 asking for the nurses help writing an “email” to one of my friends even tho they call it something else now. “i want that hilarious stick figure meme from like 2019 help me google it” and she’s like umm Xir.. google was dismantled in ‘45.. and i just keep shakily drawing wojacks on a napkin and making her look for ifunny dot com

[heterophobicmaxanne]

[heterophobicmaxanne]

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[heterophobicmaxanne]

someone dropped a bitcoin on my head from on top of the empire state building in an act of guerrilla trepanation but since there weren’t any evil spirits in my skull the hole just sprouted a flower and now everybody says i look like a damn pikmin smh

[heterophobicmaxanne]

Calvin's parents decide to take a Hawai'ian vacation. They're not sure how much of it their son will tolerate but they would like to do at least a few things that involve sandy beaches and scenic cycling routes. They are therefore pleased when Calvin seems to make friends with a local girl about his own age and the two of them run off to play

Now, from Calvin's point of view what has happened is that he spotted actual aliens, and starts trying to bring this to the attention if the adults. But the tourists are like, "that's nice, go shoot 'em with your water gun, have a good time," and the locals are like, "yeah, they're an older couple who decided to retire here. Happens all the time." Eventually, it becomes clear that Spaceman Spiff is going to have to handle it himself.

From Lilo's point of view, Jumba and Pleakley are her gay uncles, do you mind? Calvin does mind, and so the two of them spend the rest of the afternoon terrorizing Kaua'i in the effort to destroy one another while the aliens alternate between bailing them out of trouble and attempting to escape.

Hobbes and Stitch, meanwhile, are calmly playing checkers and drinking non-alcoholic margaritas.

[heterophobicmaxanne]

[heterophobicmaxanne]

[heterophobicmaxanne]

[heterophobicmaxanne]

i know this isn't the reguar theme of this blog but i need to share it somewhere because today someone called my local fire department because they found

a horse

[heterophobicmaxanne]

And to think that it takes very little to make a child happy....

[heterophobicmaxanne]

[heterophobicmaxanne]

I believe this whole heartedly with my full chest

[heterophobicmaxanne]

another iceland fact

tourists are posting pictures from several different places in the country and tagging them with the name "gjaldskylda". they seem to be under the impression that it's the toponym of the beautiful waterfall/lava field/mountain/etc. they're visiting.

gjaldskylda means "you have to pay to park here" and it's on an unreasonable amount of signs