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Cracking one of these bad bois open & sharing with my mutuals

'Tis the season

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Just rediscovered potentially the funniest thing I’ve written in recent memory

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My favourite translator said that when she was an ambassador for Hungary she took all these Japanese politicians on a tour and she was trying to circumtranslate ‘merry go round’ cause she didn’t know the Japanese word for it by calling it a ‘horse tornado for children’ and they had no blessed idea what she was saying and she finally started running in circles going up and down and they go ‘ohhhhh, in Japan we call those ‘merry-go-rounds’“

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ending a story in other languages

kurdish: “my story went to other homes, god bless the mothers and fathers of its listeners” (Çîroka min çû diyaran, rehmet li dê û bavê guhdaran.)

greek: “and they lived well, and we lived better” (και ζήσανε αυτοί καλά και εμείς καλύτερα)

afrikaans: “whistle whistle, the story is done” (fluit fluit, die storie is uit)

goemai: “my tale has finished, (it) has returned to go (and) come home.” (tamtis noe lat / dok ba muaan yi wa)

amharic: “return my story and feed me bread” (ተረቴን መልሱ አፌን በዳቦ አብሱ::)

bengali: “my story ends and the spinach is eaten by the goat” (aamaar kothati furolo; Notey gaachhti murolo) *means something is irreversibly ended because goats eats herbs from the root

norwegian: “snip snap snout, the tale is finished” (snipp snapp snute, så er eventyret ute”

polish: “and i was there [at the wedding] too, and drank mead and wine.” (a ja tam byłem, miód i wino piłem.)

georgian: “disaster there, feast here… bran there, flour here…” (ჭირი – იქა, ლხინი – აქა, ქატო – იქა, ფქვილი – აქა)

hungarian: “this is the end, run away with it” (itt a vége, fuss el véle)

turkish: “lastly, three apples fell from the sky; one for our story’s heroes, one for the person who told their tale, and one for those who listened and promise to share. And with that, they all achieved their hearts’ desires. Let us now step up and settle into their thrones.” (Gökten üç elma düşmüş; biri onların, biri anlatanın, diğeri de dinleyenlerin başına. Onlar ermiş muradına, biz çıkalım kerevetine.)

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with love and apologies to frank @nostalgebraist-autoresponder​

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I will never again achieve the level of Raw Power I had as a 10 year old child trying to convince an Actual Palaeontologist that a fake dinosaur I made up was actually real and he’d “just never heard of it”

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“Baikal Zen”: Rocks that have fallen on the ice of Lake Baikal are heated by sunlight and emit infrared rays that melt the ice below. Once the sun is gone, the ice becomes solid again, creating a small support for the rock above.

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Can't believe these guys grew up and moved to Germany...

When you’re a duck and have places to be, but safety is key

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And here I was imagining that the chess pieces were actually moving in 5 spatial dimensions, PLUS time traveling! This is almost worse than those 3D puzzles I used to see in museum gift shops that claimed they were 4D, with the extra D being "details".

I do have a bit of an axe to grind with 5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel.

Not the mechanics, mind. The idea of having time travelling pieces in chess is cool, and using branching universes to deal with paradoxes to also add another space dimension is a great idea. Indeed the movement of the pieces are a faithful abstraction of their normal movement to 4 dimensions.

That's just it, though. It's not 5d chess. It's 4d. The two normal chess dimensions, time, and parralel universes. I get that we live in a 3d universe, but this game definitely does not. In the instructions it even says that the third space dimension is unused.

Is 5D that much cooler than 4D that you'll sacrifice having an accurate title for it? Or was there originally plans to have it be 3D chess plus multiverse travel plut time travel? It's strange.

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It's hard to explain how alienating the media has been this year as an "essential worker". Every single piece of media produced this year is about how "we're all" stuck inside all the time now, and I'm just like..... I got two weeks at home when I actually had covid and otherwise have gone to work every single day I normally would. All these adverts and news show lines about how we're all in this together and we're all spending our days baking banana bread and zoom calling and all this and I'm like..... Well, not all of us I guess. And it's weirdly alienating and makes you feel weird and cut off

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The Ithaca Journal, New York, December 20, 1922

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if only there was a way for us to contribute to one big gofundme medical campaign that could be used to cover everyone’s medical expenses

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Would you kill a human to save a chicken?

It’s a good question. To me, it seems like it should be a difficult question. Even if I’m “supposed” to be a utilitarian, this seems like a hard call. I can see someone making a case for either, but I can’t see someone making the other.

If we’re being utilitarian relativist, I don’t see any good cases for it. If we’re being consequentialist relativist, I can make a good case. This one I can’t see.

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Blue Gandalas

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More meme redraws, this time with the ACME agents

Devinaux when he was trying to figure out where VILE’s hideout is:

Chief getting her super secret organization hacked by a 16 yr old:

When you get partnered with the lady defending the criminal you’re after then she quit and now you get partnered with the dude who always wrecks the company car:

When the rest of ACME finally realizes Carmen is a good person:

And this:

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and a shoutout to the two Māori men who travelled to Vienna in 1859, got themselves apprenticed as printers (and incidentally became accomplished ballroom dancers), and finally had an audience with Franz Josef where they charmed him so much that he sent a printing press to New Zealand….which was promptly used from 1861 to print the newspaper of the Kingitanga anti-colonial movement.