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I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke and he said, “let me call another lawyer”, and that lawyer said yes. 

JOHN MULANEY | SNL Feb. 29, 2020

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what slurs have you used

every morning i stand in front of my mirror and say all of them

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fuck zodiac signs reblog this with your color in among us

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the funniest shit in Among Us is that if you’re innocent and this one person is so adamant you’re the impostor and gets you ejected, then later on they die too

you get to chat with them and ask them just what the fuck that shit was, huh? it’s definitely me huh!?

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I like dying in this game

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BODY REPORTED!

“where” “where” “where” “where” “where”

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The hassles of venting.

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I love "how do you do math?" questions. Here's how my brain does it:

How about you guys?

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favorite visual gag in cartoons is when someone gets dismembered and a femur bone is sticking out no matter what the body part

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I’ll represent you in court :)

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i am looking disrespectfully

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me as a writer: obsessed with being original, constantly worried that ill copy another artist by accident, i can’t use that phrase i saw someone use it on may 12th, 2014 and

me as a reader: happily reads 2349460283 different versions of the exact same plot

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me, your friendly neighborhood villain apologist: zuko was never evil he was just 16

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how long does it take zuko to convince his staff that he isn’t gonna slap, punch, beat, banish, or otherwise assault them?

that they aren’t about to lose their job (or life) over a spilled cup or broken vase?

that he’s not trying to trick them when he says they can relax the ornate and complex flattery each time they leave the room?

that he means it when he bans corporal punishment in the palace (and out of it) and that they really can come to him if someone forgets that rule?

that they haven’t upset him or wronged him when he asks to take his meal without the full serving staff of twenty watching him?

zuko is sensitive, even when he tries not to be, and watching these people be so afraid of him would break his heart. but that also means we gets to see it when they begin to open up to him.

firelord zuko who’s feeding the turtleduks when a toddler comes running over. she almost topples into the water but zuko sweeps her up before she’s in any danger. he holds her in his lap and shows her how to feed them gently. when the mother comes careening out screaming for her child she stops short at the sight of zuko and collapses into a bow, head to the floor. she begs forgiveness but zuko shakes his head, and offers his hand for her to stand. he hands over her daughter, asks the girl’s name. his guard calls him back into meetings so he leaves with a smile and a bow to both of them. it’s the first time a child hasn’t been afraid of zuko here in the fire nation, and he smiles all week

firelord zuko who spends months trying to win over the kitchen staff enough the let him make his own tea. they refuse at first (as much as one is allowed to) and stand on principle. but zuko is patient, so patient, so he begins to visit the kitchens once a week. he tells the head chef he’s going to come, it’s not a surprise. and he just thanks the staff, asks their names, maybe mentions an earth nation dish he had that’s native to a region who’s dignitaries are coming. once he’s been a few times he asks about their lives. simple things, never much more than yes or no answers; he doesn’t want to force them into speaking more than they’re comfortable just because he is their firelord. but 10 months in, and he finally convinces the guards, tasters, and head chef he can make his own tea. the head chef still insists on checking the tea as it comes in (special shipment from the jasmine dragon of course) because he’s been working in the palace for a long time and he’s seen many leaders but zuko is the first firelord he’s actually wanted to serve. and he’s seen this 18 year old kid trying so damn hard to help the palace and nation heal, tying so hard to win favor with his dishwashers, that he wants to keep safe. he may not prepare the tea, but not a leaf gets to the firelord that isn’t personally checked by him.

and in a couple years, the permeating sense of fear and dread begins to leech out of the palace. maybe the maids start humming in the corridors, maybe the washer women laugh and talk as they go about their business, maybe the royal dressers don’t flinch at the scars all across their young leaders skin anymore

maybe the country is being run by a smart, kind, genuine young man who works tirelessly to restore their honor as people of the fire nation. zuko brings music, art, poetry, dancing and life back to the fire nation. he teaches the wisdom he learned from the sun warriors and old masters: fire isn’t just hate and death. it can be life, light, a sun blazing inside you and he fosters that light in his people. so they can shed the last 100 years of hatred together and foster a new nation of peace

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A very insidious form of transmisogony is that there can never be a positivity post for trans women without people (usually afab trans people) either derailing it OR reminding them about terfs and it’s ONLY for trans women- it’s much less often that anyone will mention “transphobes don’t look at this” on posts for trans MEN.

Trans women can’t exist without everyone reminding them that someone out their hates them, even people in their communities, and we as allies HAVE to do better. Instead of saying “terfs don’t look at this” or whatever preformative allyship floats your boat- deplatorm terfs, block them and STOP ENGAGING, and uplift trans fem voices!!!

As a Jew I rarely see “Nazis don’t even breathe on this post” when it’s Jewish positivity, but I ALWAYS see it on anything even REMOTELY related to trans fem things. It’s transmisogony, simple as that

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i just had the weirdest moment, i was feeling my front teeth with my tongue because they’re the tiniest bit crooked, and then i had the thought “i’ll check if they’re also crooked in my other mouth” and then i realized to my shock and confusion that i have only one mouth, leading me to believe that in a past life i was a terrible monster with two mouths