hey-itscay

[hey-itscay]

DFF (Designated Fat Friend

I'm the fat friend of the group also known as the “designated fat friend” (DFF). I excluded the “U” from the abbreviation, because I don’t think I am ugly. Being fat doesn’t automatically make someone ugly… it just means they’re … fat with greater potential to become more attractive. Anyways, I'm the one who always seems to be the biggest. I'm also the girl who can't find clothes that fit properly. I'm the one who hangs out in her car and eats alone because she doesn't feel like eating with other people. The girl who eats due to loneliness. The girl who eats due to boredom. I'm the girl who hates going shopping, because it's never an easy process. Seeing the size increase each time I go makes the experience even more painful than the last, because it's a harsh reminder that I am fat. Getting winded while walking up a flight of stairs is one of the many things that I'm ashamed of. I don't feel worthy of love because of my weight, and I don't feel completely accepted by others due to this. Because of how I look, I refuse to accept myself. I'm the woman who waited too long to accept herself, and I make up excuses for my unhealthy behavior because of how ashamed I am. The girl who always feels like she doesn't have a connection with herself is crying herself to sleep because of this.  I'm the girl who knows her comfort zone is her greatest reward disguised as her worst enemy.

Most people don't realize that being fat is more than just a physical issue, it's also a mental one that can affect your life in various ways. Throughout my life, I've always been fat. When I was in 7th grade, I was at 170 pounds, while when I was in 9th grade, I was at 198 pounds. At college, I had dropped to 160 pounds, which was considered overweight because of my height. Now, I'm at 224 pounds, which is the heaviest I've been. I've tried various diets and workouts. The only thing I haven't done is stay consistent, which unfortunately is the most important part. If I say I really want something but don't take the steps to make it happen, do I really want it as bad as I think I do? I know the lifestyle I'm living isn’t a healthy one and some might go as far to say that I'm killing myself by not taking the necessary steps to improve my health. Yet, knowing all that I know I still haven't lost the weight.  

For the next 180 days, I'm going to make a commitment to myself to improve my health and make sure that I'm eating the best possible food. This will involve avoiding processed food and not buying fast food. I will eat a whole food diet. I'll also be exercising at least 30 minutes a day. I’m also going to try to keep myself engaged through various activities. Some of these include attending at least two classes a month and participating in either boxing, cycling, Pilates, or yoga classes. MyFitnessPal will allow me to monitor my food intake and stay in control of my calories. I will track this entire journey by journaling And taking progress photos. Hopefully, this will allow me to look back at how far I've come and give me the motivation to keep moving forward. I’m going to try not to get discouraged, but I will also promise myself that I will not quit. This is a very challenging journey, and it's something that I'll have to take on to improve my body and life. If I want to optimize this body, then I must make sure that I'm doing what is right for my health. At the end of the day, all I have is myself.

 Sign: Soon to be Fit Friend

Date: February 1, 2023