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[heystephwrites]

I had to grip onto the kitchen table to stop myself from crumbling into a heap on the floor. When I heard her words, I exhaled and with it, I felt like I had let out every bit of breath I had left. Void of oxygen, my body felt like it would fall to pieces. After what seemed like hours I managed to speak. When I did, I barely recognised my voice. It was small, weak, and raspy as if my throat didn’t want to let me say the words I now knew to be true. It was a last-ditch attempt from my body to keep my world together. I knew that saying the words would blow it apart.

“I’m not your daughter? I’m not a Carluke?”

“Of course, you’re our daughter,” My mother said softly. “We raised you, we loved you….”

“We love you” My father interrupted. “We have loved you since the moment we first held you in our arms. Nothing in the world will change that.”

“Then who is she?” I asked and we all turned to look at the woman in the corner by the door. The woman, who had been anxiously looking at the floor, suddenly looked up. She nervously brushed the few strands of hair that had fallen onto the face then wrung her hands. She seemed smaller than she when she walked into our little kitchen 10 minutes earlier. Before there was an air of confidence even anger about her, now she looked like she wanted to run away.

“I..” she started

“She” my father interrupted again with a sneer “is your birth mother. The one that decided she didn’t want you.”

The woman’s face changed. The anger she had before returned and filled her like a balloon.

“That is not true” she shouted “How dare you even say that. You have no idea what I’ve been through. You have no idea what I…”

“I know you left her. I know you left your infant daughter on the side of the road like a bag of trash.”

Trash? Me? Was he talking about me? A thousand thoughts were rushing through my head by now. 15 minutes ago, everything was normal. 15 minutes ago, the only thing I had to worry about was what I would be eating for breakfast the next morning and now I was a trash baby? Everything I had believed about myself and my family was a lie. I looked through the kitchen door and into the living room. Just above the sofa was a portrait I had painted of us only months before. I imagined it falling and smashing into a thousand pieces.

I brought my gaze back to the intruder, the person that had caused all of this. I waited for an answer but the woman’s balloon of rage deflated a little.

“It wasn’t like that… I didn’t…” She went quiet.

“Then how was it, huh? Where were you? Where did you go?” This time it was my mother who snapped the accusative words. There was such venom in her voice and her face. It was a side of her I hadn’t seen in years. Not since the incident at the park.

The woman looked down. She shuffled her feet and said nothing.

“I think you should go.” my father said firmly. He started to walk toward her.

“No. Wait. Stop.” I said. Everyone turned to look at me surprised as if they had forgotten that I was there. I didn’t say anything for a while, trying to form words that made sense, trying to piece together what I knew and separate it from the ocean of lies I felt I was drowning in.

“She’s my mother?”

“Yes, baby.” the woman said softly

“I wasn’t talking to you!” I spat, suddenly angry. “I don’t even know you. I don’t know who you are. I don’t know why you’re here.”

I got louder and louder, the rage swelling and swirling inside me like a tornado. I looked at her face. She looked about the same age as my mother but her face wasn’t like my mother’s. It was aged in the way you only see on people who have suffered. It portrayed a life full of stress and secrets. I looked at her big brown oval eyes, her curly black hair, and her nose that was slightly too big for her face. As she nervously furrowed her brow, I looked through the wrinkles and her generally unkempt appearance and I saw myself. It was all true. She was my mother.

The angry tornado seemed to ooze out of my every orifice like blood from a wound that won’t heal. I felt weak again. The crumbling feeling returned. I sat down before it consumed me and a lost my ability to stand.

“Why are you here?” I said finally in the same weak unrecognisable voice I had heard before.

My father opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. He turned his attention to the woman and waited. We all waited.

“I just wanted to see you,” she said quietly.

“Well you’ve seen her now, so get out of my house!” My fathers’ moment of patience had passed and the woman could see that her time was running out. If she wanted to make her case, she would have to do it quickly.

“There are things” she blurted out “Things I need to tell you. Things I need to explain. Important things”

My father started to walk towards the door again. The woman flinched. My father looked taken aback. His anger softened a little.

“Look, I’m not going to hit you” he sighed “but I do want you out of my house”

“What things?” I said as he opened the door and ushered her through it. The woman looked at my father as if asking for permission to speak.

“Give us tonight” he relented. “I think that’s the least you can do after barging into my house after 20 years. If you really believe that what you have to say is that important you can come back tomorrow”

The woman stood there for a moment, not sure of what to do. She looked at me with a strange mix of sadness, longing, and concern on her face. After a moment of what seemed to be deep thought, she scanned the room.

“Ok” She said. Then she left without saying another word. Closing the door behind her my father muttered, “That woman will never set foot in this house again”.

I looked at him. He looked so familiar but yet, like a complete stranger. A loud bang interrupted my thoughts and I turned around to see that the portrait had fallen, ripped to pieces by the now smashed glass that had once protected it.

[heystephwrites]

SENA STRIKES AGAIN!

Originally published on October 5, 2016.

Last year whilst I was working for the Ministry of Education in Colombia there was a pretty big strike. I vaguely recall it having something to do with pay but I mainly remember it being an excuse for most people to go on holiday. Once again, I am back working in the Colombian education system and once again, a few months in I have been greeted by a strike. Although overshadowed recently by campaigns for the referendum and the peace process with the FARC, 21 days later the national SENA strike trudges on. A glimmer now in comparison to its former blazing glory, but still they pursue. Commencing in the second week of September, the students (or apprentices as they are called here) and staff of selected SENA centers across the country are protesting, among other things, budget cuts and possible future privatisation.  

The strike, affecting 33 regions of the country, was expected to end this week depending on a long-awaited response that was due on Friday.  It turns out that, although they are making headway in the negotiation process, the meeting including representatives from the national government, the union, the human rights council, and SENA directives has yet to reach any cohesive agreement.  

Whilst SENA is no stranger to worker/apprentice strikes (for the past three decades, SENA have gone on strike nearly every year) the current episode—one of its biggest in recent history—is raising alarm bells. The strike is indefinite, a word that strikes fear into the hearts of any authority. This could go on another month or perhaps more and unfortunately, the ones suffering the most are those that SENA is designed to help; the apprentices. The only other strike equivalent to this one was in 1994, a walkout that reportedly matched exactly the grievances of today.

As is often the case with strikes the cause lies with the powers that be failing to do what they promised. On September 22, 2015, there was talk of expansion. Not only in terms of courses offered, sites build but also of jobs provided. A contract was signed to progressively expand SENA’s permanent staff by 3000 people in addition to hiring another 800 for temporary projects. Currently, the majority, some 60,000, of SENA instructors are still temporary and the details of the contract have not been fulfilled.

Of course, there is no expansion without the funding to back it. The director of SENA Maria Andrea Nieto announced an increase of 5% compared to 2016.

“This year’s budget Sena was 3.09 billion pesos and next year will be 3.2 billion, with which we can sustain our faculty and meet our commitments,“

But when the Union looked at the figures closer it seemed that funding had in fact decreased and not by a little.

For SENA to continue successfully this deficit of 500 billion pesos (168 million US dollars) will have to come from somewhere, hence talks of privatisation. Nieto vehemently denies this could ever take place.

“Since the nineties they’ve been saying [SENA] is going to be privatized, and it has not been privatized nor will it be privatized”.

The apprentices are not so sure, however.

To understand how important this is one must understand how important SENA is to Colombia. Formed on the 21st of June 1957, SENA was designed to provide vocational training at no cost in various industries including trade, agriculture, and mining to workers, youth, and adults alike. SENA functions as a bridge in the gap between being unskilled and skilled and therefore being unemployed and employed. In a country that a semester in even the cheapest university is out of reach for a large part of its population, SENA is indispensable. Numerous programs have been set up by SENA to provide ex-gang members with opportunities to acquire a profession, which is incredibly important when you consider that one of the biggest factors of returning to gangs and crime is a lack of financial opportunity. Moreover, those demobilized from the FARC (if and when they eventually disband) will be offered places at SENA to provide them with knowledge and employment opportunities to help them reintegrate into the community.

The negotiations continue today (Wednesday 5th October) but as it stands Aleyda Murillo Granados, President of Union of Public Employees (SINDESENA) has warned that until they have solved all the requirements listed since last year, the strike will carry on.  

It is in the best interests of all to have this situation settled as soon as possible. If it drags on there could be a larger impact on the Colombian government’s reputation. With the fail of the referendum, the Colombian government’s image is currently having a hard time. There’s a perception that they are steadily losing their grip on the populations' approval so this strike could magnify the negative image.

I, for one, hope that the state of affairs is resolved quickly and effectively. I am a firm believer in civil action when the cause is worth fighting for, but from what I have seen personally the impact on SENA is a negative one. This month’s events are sure to affect the education and grades of all the apprentices involved. SENA courses are incredibly intense and missing a single day can impact a student’s grade, how much more 4 weeks?

[heystephwrites]

The Peace Referendum

Originally published on October 13th, 2016 I wrote this blog post to answer questions I received about the peace referendum in Colombia.

The week before last, in the midst of the SENA strike aka the impromptu and undesired holiday, I began to write a blog post titled COLOMBIA SIGNS PEACE DEAL. Well, two weeks after the referendum I can say that someone certainly signed a peace deal but it wasn’t Colombia.

President Juan Manuel Santos, a man of polarised opinion, was seemingly making good on his pre-electoral promise of peace since, three weeks ago, he signed a historic peace deal with the FARC rebels. The FARC, whilst not the only rebel group involved in the 52-year conflict, are by far the largest and most influential. It was assumed that if this deal had been accepted by the Colombian population other groups such as the ELN would follow suit in the coming months and years. Alas, they did not and thus it’s back to the drawing board for the peace talks.

The decision against the peace treaty has left many, Colombian and extranjero alike, scratching their heads in confusion. Why would the people vote no? Are Colombians not interested in resolving the longest-running armed conflict in the Americas? The answer, as always, is it’s complicated. Nothing here is straightforward; not the conflict; not public opinion; not even the referendum itself.

In theory, referendums seem like a wonderful avenue of direct democracy in an otherwise imperfect system, in reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Referendums are extremely rarely used, although 2016 does seem to be the year of the referendum (here’s looking at you Brexit, Thailand, and Italy among others) because alongside other flaws they have the tendency to be incredibly unpredictable. In this case, up until the day of the vote the polls had forecasted solid support for the ‘yes’ camp but it was not to be. To determine why this was, one must look at what drives voters in a referendum. Is it a carefully deliberated conviction based on clearly explained facts? Probably not.

In this and other referendums, the voting public was not sufficiently informed to make decisions on such a complicated and technical issue. This wasn’t merely a vote for peace (to which all would agree) but on a specific peace treaty, one that the details of which were not made abundantly clear. There was a sense of secrecy about it and secrecy always breeds mistrust. What we do know about the peace treaty is that it was particularly lenient towards the FARC. It was extremely lenient in fact, no-jail-time-and-10-seats-in-parliament-to-a-diminishing-and-discredited-rebel-army lenient.

This should really have been foreseen, however. Santos is still in power because of his promise to do what his predecessors could not and secure lasting peace. His second term of presidency was secured by the skin of his teeth, just 50.95% of the vote as opposed to 68.9% in 2010. Many of his supporters that tipped the scales were those among the left that hoped for peaceful negotiation with the FARC. One can assume this is what drove his tactic of peace “at any costs" - a tactic criticized by his old buddy and former Colombian president Alvaro Uribe.

That said, buddy mightn’t be the best word to describe their current relationship as although Uribe helped win the presidency for Santos in 2010, the two later split. Uribe’s campaign against the peace deal is thought to be one of the principal reasons that the no vote prevailed.

The basis of Uribe's campaign was that the FARC should be punished harshly for their crimes.

“Peace is exciting, but the text of the Havana deal is disappointing,” said Uribe

Uribe’s campaign took advantage of the widespread hatred of the FARC. Honestly, the phrase widespread hatred might be an understatement. For many Colombians, there is a special place in hell for members of the FARC as the most recent period of violence was started by the FARC’s insurgency and the violence has been pretty horrific. The numbers reported vary but most agree that it has left; more than 260,000 dead with the large majority being civilian; 6.9 million people internally displaced (which, for reference, is even more than Sudan and Iraq combined), and over 75,000 people have disappeared or been kidnapped. Somewhere in the region of half of all Colombians have lost a family member to violence over the years and many understandably lay the blame at FARC's door. Yet, when looking at the evidence that doesn't come directly from the Colombian government, one can't help but feel the hatred is, in some cases, misplaced. If you read nothing else in this post please read this:

“The United Nations has estimated that 12% of all killings of civilians in Colombian conflict have been committed by the FARC and ELN guerrillas, and the rest, 80%, by government forces and paramilitaries.”

So yes, the FARC have undoubtedly done some atrocious things but the Colombian government also have A LOT to answer for.  

This has obviously never been mentioned. In the same way that many voters in the UK were swayed by xenophobic propaganda, strong personalities such as Nigel Farage, and expensive advertising campaigns during the Brexit movement, the hatred of the FARC was a much more beneficial political tool for Uribe’s campaign. In the UK, voters were lured with falsified promises, all of which have fallen to the wayside, leaving many regretting their decision. Whether this happens in Colombia remains to be seen.

In addition to hatred, many citizens mistrust the FARC. This, as has been mentioned, is not the first attempt at peace or a peace deal. In previous endeavours, the FARC have gone back on their word and this also played a major factor in the outcome.

Interestingly though, the areas in which one would expect people to have the most hatred towards the FARC voted for the peace deal. It seems the area’s most affected by the violence just wanted it to stop. They were not interested in vengeance, just peace.

For this reason, the phrase "tyranny of the majority” is often associated with referendums. This situation is an example of the worst kind because the whims of the majority have superseded the needs of the minority. Although in this case, "the tyranny of whoever bothered to leave their house on that rainy Sunday" would be more apt.

Referendums are only direct democracy if people bother to take part in them. Turnout for this one was a disappointing 37%. Reasons for this low turnout vary from the weather to general indifference. Another thing to remember is that unlike Europe most Latin American countries are new to direct democracy (the exception being Uruguay) and Colombians especially, weary from years of violence and disappointment, are particularly politically apathetic.

Another difficulty that plagued this referendum was a problem with separability. This is the inability to separate the facts before them from other issues. There were a few somewhat direct issues; others were completely unrelated. One less related issue was Santos and his government.

Everywhere except Colombia Santos’ popularity is soaring but here in the country itself, it’s at an all-time low. Colombia’s economy has been struggling of late and unemployment is at 9 percent. He has made some highly questionable moves during his presidency but this isn’t all Santos’ fault; the low prices for oil and trade relations with China have a lot to do with it. Regardless there are many Colombians that believe he has been far too preoccupied with peace negotiations to really deal with the economy. Peace should bring eventual prosperity to the country but for now, the Colombian peso has fallen sharply against the dollar since the talks began in 2012. Although before the referendum a yes appeared certain to anyone paying attention, nationally or internationally, it seemed to many nationals that his interest lay more in international public opinion. This only fortified the perception within Colombia that, now nearing the end of his time in political office he was pursuing other honours and that his haste for a deal was not for the good of the nation, but to secure the Nobel Peace Prize.

Whilst campaigning overseas Santos made the Secretary of Education, Gina Parody, the face of the yes vote in Colombia. No one is sure why, Parody is even less popular than Santos, but we can be sure that this backfired on him. One of the ideas that Parody tried to push was gender-specific care for victims of sexual violence, however, because Parody is openly gay, right wing activists twisted this when it was reported to the general public. Somehow it ended up being explained to already concerned Christians as a “gender ideology” that sought to promote sexual diversity. Many voted no because they believed the treaty to be a threat to the nuclear family. Sadly after months of having her sexual orientation used to sabotage her work, Parody has since resigned.

Already you can see that the situation is very, very complicated and if I’m honest I’ve barely scratched the surface. The more important question is “so what now Colombia? Where do we go from here?” Back to the drawing board, it looks like. Let’s just hope there are no casualties while we wait.