hieragalbatorixdottir

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

keeping rhysand’s father alive up to the beginning/middle of Amarantha’s reign would have solved like 95% of all the night court worldbuilding problems. “hey rhysand why haven’t you implemented any of your policies and shown Velaris to the outside world or made the bare minimum effort in your court for the last five hundred years or so” “well you see it’s because my evil knieval father was alive and was preventing me from enacting real change. now he’s gone and i wish i could but we’re kind of ramping up to this war with reverse ireland (they’re trying to colonize england haha get it, how woke) and i’m scared of destabilizing the populace right before this massive conflict.” “You know what rhysand. That’s actually pretty understandable. have a great day and good luck with evil ireland.” it was THAT easy

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

Hannibal (2013-2015)

2x12 || 3x13

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

One of my favourite behind the scenes from Hannibal (Season Three). Mads and all that blood 🔥

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

christ, your family is awful

~Judas, after his buddy explains His Father's Plan.

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

[A seat of honour: Only a king was seated between Pavel and Trump at formal dinner]

Guys, send thoughts and prayers for our president's health and continued survival. He was dangerously near to the Orange One.

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

person in fandom: eeeyikes!!! i hope im writing this character in this short little fanfic right >_< eeekkk what if my takes on my meta are all wrong and everyone will Kill me!!

guy in professional comic industry: okay lets mischaracterize every single character that appears in this comic for 50 or so issues

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

arrange - june 24 - jegulus - black brothers - @black-brothers-microfic - word count: 404 - got this idea from a tiktok

“Hi, I’m Sirius Black and I’m the Best Man.”

Sirius’s voice cut through the chattering crowd, drawing the attention of everyone in the huge room. James, who was staring, completely enamored, at his new husband, had to rip his gaze away to look over at his friend.

“I promise I have written a speech,” Sirius said, beaming at the crowd. “I even wrote it before the day of–take that, McKinnon!” A few people laughed. “But before I get to that, I have something special arranged.”

James looked to his left, exchanging a nervous glance with Regulus. “Do you have any idea—?” he muttered.

“Not a clue,” Regulus replied, looking terrified. “But if he does something stupid, remember that he’s your best man, not mine.”

James gulped, turning back to where Sirius stood, a terrifying smile on his face.

“James met Reggie when he was seventeen and was immediately obsessed. I’m sure you all remember,” he chuckled, allowing the crowd to grumble good-naturedly while James grinned and blushed. “But if you don’t, or you were lucky enough to not be there, I have quite a treat for you! I have proof! If you’ll all direct your attention to the screen to my left…Moony, you can roll the tape!”

Immediately, James’s stomach sank, because he knew what was coming. “Reg, wanna go have a quickie in the bathroom?” he whispered to his new husband, face getting warmer and warmer.

Regulus’s eyes, though, were glued to the screen, and he just waved his hand dismissively at James. “Later,” he muttered.

“Play this at my wedding! No–no I swear! Play this at my wedding!” On-screen James began shouting, his voice pounding through the speakers of the room. The screen showed James, Remus, and Peter all laying on James’s bed, Sirius clearly behind the camera.

“Why’s that, Prongs?” Sirius-from-behind-the-camera asked, his voice full of mirth.

“Because!” On-screen James grinned idiotically. “It’s–I’m seventeen, and it’s September first and I swear to all of you, I’m marrying Regulus Black someday. I swear!”

Present day James groaned, burying his head in his hands as the crowd awwed.

“I’m marrying Regulus Arcturus Black! You’ll play this at our wedding and I’ll be like, ha! Told you!”

“And that, folks, was James Potter, mere hours after he met Regulus Black,” Sirius said into the microphone, grinning.”And it all went downhill from here, as you can see.”

The crowd, and Regulus, burst into applause.

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

mastermind - june 24 - background jegulus - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 389

“Alright, boys. Who did it?” Euphemia Potter asked, crossing her arms and looking fiercely at Sirius, James, and Remus, who all stood in front of her with their heads hung. If she hadn’t been so annoyed, it would have been hilarious to look at–three boys, all dramatically taller than her, looking completely contrite and a little bit scared as they listened to her yell.

“It…it was a group effort, Mum,” James piped up desperately, always the first one to break. 

“Yeah, we all kind of…played a part…” Sirius agreed, Remus nodding along with him, though both of them looked just as confused and nervous as James did.

“I see,” Effie said, tone short even as she still forced herself not to laugh. “So there was no clear mastermind, here? Nobody wants to fess up?”

All three boys were silent, eyes glued to the floor.

“And what about the fact that you needed a potion to make this happen, then?” she pressed, gesturing to her bubblegum-pink hair, which now reached all the way down to the floor. “I know all of you boys are smart, but last I checked, none of you are top in your class in potions. Who sent out for it? Are you sure you didn’t do it, James?”

James shook his head, but said nothing. “No, I—” but he cut himself off, looking between his friends, eyes narrowed, like he was trying to figure out who had sent out for the potion.

It was at this point Effie realized they were all covering for each other. And there was a chance none of them had done it. 

“Then who…” she began to mutter, flummoxed. But she stopped short at the sound of a laugh.

The chuckle at this didn’t seem to come from any of the boys in front of her. It took her a moment to place the source, but as soon as she did, her eyes grew as wide as saucers. “Regulus?” she gasped. “Monty?” 

The two boys were standing in the doorway in silent hysterics, wiping tears of mirth from their eyes. “Sorry, darling, it was just too funny!” Monty laughed, moving to press a kiss to his wife’s head.

But as shocked as Effie was, James looked thrilled. “Reg, you did this?” he asked, eyes dancing with glee. “Baby, I’m so proud!”

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

identity - @rosekillermicrofic - slightly NSFW - word count: 180

“Oi!” Barty yelped, throwing his hands in the air, shocked to see four wands trained on him as soon as he walked in the door of Pandora’s flat. “The fuck?”

“Better to be safe than sorry,” Regulus scowled, wand never wavering. “People are using Polyjuice now. Things are getting bad. We need you to prove it’s you.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to prove my identity with four wands pointed at my junk?” Barty grumbled, but didn’t move.

“You answer a question. A question only Barty would know,” Pandora explained calmly. She looked around. “Someone think of something.”

The room was silent for a moment as everyone thought.

“Have to piss, here,” Barty mumbled, still standing with his arms raised high.

“Oh!” Evan gasped suddenly, face breaking into a suggestive grin. “What’d you say the first time we kissed?”

Barty grimaced but sighed in defeat. “I said if you didn’t fuck me in the next five seconds, I’d cut your prick off,” he shrugged, turning a bit pink.

Instantly, Evan lowered his wand. “That’s Barty!” he announced, smirking triumphantly. 

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

guys the next book isn't about Azriel, it's about Nesta realizing Cassian sucks and leaving him for Eris. There's a B plot of Eris and Nesta setting Lucien and Elain up on dates and getting them to talk to one another. Oh and Daddy Beron dies so we finally get to see how a high lord transformation goes down (like is it big a flashy, is Eris gonna sneeze and be like "oh shit more magic", is he gonna go into his beast form and then have to come down from high magical high - I NEED ANSWERS PEOPLE)

guys trust!!!

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

God though can you imagine how many pairs of shoes Eris has had chewed up by his hounds?

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

You can either take it easy, take it personal, or the secret third thing: Both. That's where you assume that whatever someone said, they meant it as an insult, but you don't respect them enough to care about their opinion of you.

[hieragalbatorixdottir]

Police officer: Unfortunately the only person available to pick you up was your brother in law.

James: I don’t have a brother in law.

Police officer: He’s listed right here… Bartemius Crouch Jr.

James: I’ve genuinely never heard that name in my entire life.

Barty, walking in: I’ve been summoned.

James:

James: Your name is Bartemius??

James: My life is a lie

James: How can I go on