highkey-as-heck

[highkey-as-heck]

give me a ship that’s stained with toxicity. they were the it-couple in high school. both beautiful as hell (and they knew it). and beautifully in love. but as time went on, the two broke up and made up more times than one can count. they’ve ruined each other, and the whole town knows it. and yet they always find their way back to each other.

[highkey-as-heck]

texts from last night! meme

[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? [text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here [text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after. [text] I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW [text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA. [text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. [text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese [text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it [text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?” [text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet? [text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him. [text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life. [text] It’s a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later. [text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever. [text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife. [text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops. [text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle. [text] I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I’d say it was a pretty successful Thursday night. [text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real. [text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling [text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One. [text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us [text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”… [text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba” [text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. [text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. [text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me [text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings. [text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug” [text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork. [text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine [text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there. [text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him [text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten [text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly. [text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter. [text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury [text] I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man’s heart. [text] When was the last time you wore pants? [text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation [text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast. [text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time [text] Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent [text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person. [text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going? [text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today. [text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition? [text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila. [text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist? [text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special [text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention [text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin. [text] Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won’t quit poking me on fb [text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes [text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl. [text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy [text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster [text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing. [text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on [text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant [text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie. [text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion. [text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat [text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? [text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out [text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game [text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire. [text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out. [text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day. [text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship. [text] you traded sex for a burrito? [text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos. [text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there. [text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher. [text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable. [text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest [text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box [text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day. [text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka. [text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go [text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome. [text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos” [text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you [text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style. [text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again. [text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs [text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar. [text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year [text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something. [text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex. [text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted [text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. [text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes? [text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles. [text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy! [text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen. [text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. [text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok. [text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know. [text] Because when I say ‘You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, ‘I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’ [text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. [text] The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing. [text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed [text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat. [text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone [text] never. drinking. again. [text] I’m gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see. [text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night [text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now [text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction. [text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.

[highkey-as-heck]

here’s some not nasty f/f plots, because there’s absolutely no reason for f/f plots to be inherently gross

muse a is a hardass high school gym teacher who ends up falling for muse b: a pastel loving, pop song singing preschool teacher

a classic friends-to-lovers thing, where muse a and muse b were each other’s first everything: kiss, crush, prom date…..the possibilities are really endless

bonus: muse a and muse b can never really tell if they’re together or not, so they go on dates with other people but nothing feels the same as when they hold hands

muse a has always thought muse b, her older sibling’s best friend, was incredible, but never considered making a move until muse b had an argument with her best friend (muse a’s sibling) during a sleepover and knocked on muse a’s door in the middle of the night

female superhero/sidekick duo who kick ass during the day and end up in bed together every night

muse a and muse b are rival pop stars/actors/models and swear they hate each other’s guts, even if they’ve made out in dressing rooms and backstage once (or a few times, but who’s counting?)

muse a is the most self centered person that anyone has ever met, so why does she feel such an urge to give muse b the entire world?

muse a is a newbie actor, questioning her sexuality, who just got cast as muse b, an openly gay woman’s, love interest in the next big blockbuster

muse b’s family doesn’t approve of her career choice, so she moves in with muse a, her new girlfriend, who’s ready to do whatever it takes to help her achieve her goals

everyone keeps setting muse a up on blind dates, which doesn’t sit too well with muse b, her long time (secret) girlfriend

anyway, stop making f/f plots gross!!! wlw are people too and the fact that a lot of plots out there for f/f ships are based off inc*st is nasty and should not be happening!!!

[highkey-as-heck]

Person A: “(Person B) and (Person C) are trying to play matchmaker with us again…. Should we tell them we’re married?”

Person D: “No, it’s more fun this way.”

[highkey-as-heck]

shippy memes for you hoes

“ i had a dream about you. ”

“ i’ve never cared about anyone the way i care about you. ”

“ i know it’s not fair to ask you to wait for me, but i can’t bear the thought of seeing you with someone else.  ”

“ i’m not really good at this sort of thing. i never really had much luck with relationships before but i wanna make it work. i want us to work. ”

“ i love you. you don’t have to say anything, i just thought you should know. ”

“  i do care about you i’m just. i’m not good at talking about it. ”

“ i didn’t like seeing you with them. ”

“ you’re my person. you’ll always be the one i go to. ”

“ i could have lost you today! do you know what that would have done to me? ”

“ do you even know what you do to me? ”

“ i can’t stop thinking about you.  ”

“ you’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met. ”

“ i don’t deserve you, but i want you anyway. ”

“ you’re safe with me, you know that right? ”

“ please just tell me how you feel. ”

“ just say the words. tell me you want me and i’m yours. ”

“ you’re always there. i didn’t used to see it before, but i do now. every time i’ve ever needed someone, you were there.  ”  

“ you had a dream about me? ”

“ i guess i always kinda had a little bit of a crush on you. ”

“ you thought i never noticed you, but i did. i always saw you. ”

“ oh my god please don’t tell me you tried to make breakfast again, the stove hasn’t recovered since last time. ”

“ you waited for me? ”

“ i was always kind of hoping we’d give it a shot one day.  ”

“ you were always my maybe, ya know? ‘maybe they’d finally ask me out.’ ‘maybe when i wasn’t the one looking, they were noticing me too.’ i know it’s silly, but. you were always in the back of my mind. ”

“ oh god you’re really gonna do the whole rocks against the window at midnight boombox thing aren’t you? ”

“ i’m gonna wait for you, as long as it takes. ”

“ loving you saved me. ”

“ why me? out of everyone you could’ve chose.  ”

“ i’ve always loved you. ”

“ i know it’s late, but i just needed someone and. i guess you always answer when i call.  ”

“ i brought pizza and wine and a horrible movie so in the words of rory gilmore, i’m ready to wallow now. ”

“ you didn’t have to come ya know? i’m glad you did though. ”

“ if we could run away together and go anywhere, where would you take me? ”

“ what are you doing here? it’s the middle of the night. ”

“ i dont want to go back to how we used to be. i want more. i want you. ”

“ you’ve had every piece of my heart since the moment i met you. ”

“ why is it your always the one to pick up the pieces every time my heart breaks? ”

“ are you gonna keep looking at me like that or are you actually gonna kiss me? ”

“ i’m gonna marry you one day. ”

“ i used to think about what it’d be like if we got together. ”

“ yes, of course i love you, you idiot. ”

“ just stay this time. stay for me. ”

“ don’t you dare give up on us. ”

“ i always come running back to you. i can’t help it. ”

“ you deserve someone who always puts you first. ”

“ you were never my second choice. ”

 “ they don’t deserve you. and i’m not— i’m not tryna be that asshole that says i do. but sure as hell would never hurt you like that. ”

“ i’m never gonna let you go.  ”

[highkey-as-heck]

SOFT(ish) ANGST PROMPTS

“  i thought you were gone.  for good. ”

“  you left and—  i thought you weren’t coming back.  ”

“  i miss you.  i know i’m not supposed to,  but.  i just had to see you.  ”  

“  please don’t scare me like that again.  i can take a lot of things,  but not losing you.  ”

“  i can’t even take the very thought of you getting hurt.  ”

“  you could’ve gotten yourself killed! you could’ve— fuck!  you scared the shit outta me.  ” 

“  yes.  i am telling you what to do.  i’m telling you not to pull something like that again because—  ‘cause fucking hell.  i care about you.  okay? ”  

“  i found myself driving home and then.  well i was on my way here.  ‘cause i guess…you’re still my home.  ” 

“  please,  tell me why you’re upset.  tell me who did this?  ”

“  you don’t have to come over here and take care of me you know.  i can clean up my own messes.  ”

“  don’t talk.  just get the fuck over here and hold me.  ”

“  loving you is like having my heart just out in the world.  outside of my body walking around.  every time i see you hurting,  it kills me.  ”

“  i made you cry.  and i hate myself for that.  i swore i wouldn’t be one of the people who left you hurting.  ”

“  you really hurt me this time.  but i want to let go of that.  i really do want to forgive you i’m just scared you’ll hurt me again.  ”

“  i know you’re mad at me right now,  but i’m the one who’s here.  let me be here.  let me help.  you can be angry later.  ”

“  i’m here now.  i know i wasn’t before.  but i should’ve been.  and i’m not going anywhere.  i’m not gonna let that happen again.  ”

“  it’s time to come home now.  ”

“  that’s enough.  you’ve got your revenge.  let’s go.  ”

“  i know you’re hurting.  and i can’t fix that.  but i can refuse to let you hurt alone.  ”

“  i’m never letting go of you.  i missed you so fucking much.  ”

“  look at me,  you’re safe.  and you’re not alone.  and i’ll never let you be alone again.  you understand?  ”

“  i broke my promise to you once.  i’ll never do it again.  ”

“  i don’t need you to go white knighting and fix all this.  i just want you here.  with me.  that will make me feel better.  ”

“  just stay still and let me hold you.  ”

“  you don’t have to hide your tears.  let it out.  then we’ll move on,  together.  ”

“  i just.  needed to talk to you ‘cause.  somehow you always know what to say.  ”

“  don’t bury your feelings.  sadness.  hurt.  rage.  feel it.  acknowledge it so you can decide what you want to do with it.  not what it will do to you.  ”

“  i miss your smile.  and not that sad one you try to fool everyone with.  the real one.  the one you used to show me.  ”

“  come here.  i’m taking care of you tonight.  and you’re gonna let me.  ”  

1) our muses reunite after sender thought receiver was dead. 

2) our muses reunite after receiver thought sender was dead. 

3) sender shows up at receiver’s house drunk after they’ve broken up. 

4) receiver shows up at sender’s house drunk after they’ve broken up. 

5) our muses are on bad terms but reunite after one of them nearly dies. 

6) sender finds receiver crying and approaches,  clearing the tears with their hands while demanding to know what happened. 

7) receiver finds sender crying and approaches,  clearing the tears with their hands while demanding to know what happened. 

8) our muses haven’t been speaking,  but sender rushes to take care of receiver after they’ve been injured or fell ill. 

9) our muses haven’t been speaking,  but receiver rushes to take care of sender after they’ve been injured or fell ill. 

10) sender hurt receiver in some way,  which led to receiver doing something reckless and sender shows up to stop them/or deal with the aftermath. 

11) receiver hurt sender in some way,  which led to sender doing something reckless and receiver shows up to stop them/or deal with the aftermath.

12) our muses are in a fight,  but cuddle anyway because they don’t like sleeping alone. 

13) receiver wakes sender from a nightmare. 

14) sender wakes receiver from a nightmare. 

15) sender wakes up in the hospital and finds receiver at their side,  who is in the same clothes as the day they were admitted because they’ve refused to leave their side. 

16) receiver wakes up in the hospital and finds sender at their side,  who is in the same clothes as the day they were admitted because they’ve refused to leave their side. 

17) our muses are currently on the outs,  but receiver goes through something traumatic and sender pushes past their friends to get to them. 

18) our muses are currently on the outs,  but sender goes through something traumatic and receiver pushes past their friends to get to them. 

[highkey-as-heck]

theo cruz is here.

basic information:

full name: theodora “theo” cruz

nickname(s): theo, t — anyone who tries anything else will get smacked in the back of the head

age: 38

date of birth: november 13th

hometown: seattle, washington

current location: seattle, washington

ethnicity: white

nationality: american

gender: non-binary

pronouns: she/they

orientation: pansexual

religion: none

political affiliation: none

occupation: paramedic

living arrangements: in a small apartment by herself

language(s) spoken: english, arabic, a lil bit portuguese her parents taught her

accent: american??

physical appearance:

face claim: priscilla faia

hair color: brown

eye color: dark brown

height: 5'4

build: lean and toned

tattoos: a couple small quotes

piercings: ears

clothing style: casual, jeans and a tank top goes a long way

usual expression: attentive

distinguishing characteristics: –

health:

physical ailments: still struggles with some injuries she sustained while deployed

neurological conditions: migraines, ptsd

allergies: none she’s aware of

sleeping habits: gets solid sleep when she has work, but in her off-time she goes to bed late and wakes up late

eating habits: tries to eat healthy, but allows herself a cheat day here and there on a long shift

exercise habits: works out every other day

emotional stability: i'mma say around 5/10 right now, she’s vibing

sociability: super social, loves to meet new people

body temperature: waaaarm and cozy

addictions: all the coffee she can get, and scented candles

drug use: a little weed when she’s off work for a few days helps her brain a lot

alcohol use: a beer or two, or a glass of wine after a shift sounds about right, she will go off on a night out though

personality:

positive traits: unapologetic, honest, brave, emotional, adaptable, compassionate, assertive

negative traits: secretive, stubborn, confrontational, disorganized, impatient, restless

fears: rejection, inadequacy, abandonment, losing control

hobbies: what the hell are those and why do you need one? isn’t life like — enough to deal with?

habits: nail biting when she’s anxious, talks to herself

favorites:

weather: a rainy fall day

color: black is neat

music: anything rock

movies: not movies — tv shows. particularly bad comedies

sport: how about no?

beverage: cinnamon whiskey

food: pasta

animal: dogs

song: black leather – call me karizma

family:

father: hugo cruz, deceased

mother: dolores cruz, alive

sibling(s): –

children: –

pet(s): a golden retriever named nugget

family’s financial status: not great

extra:

zodiac: scorpio

anything else: nah, fam

tw: injury, explosion, accident, ptsd, survivor’s guilt, death

bio:

theo cruz was born and raised in seattle, washington to her portuguese parents.

growing up, she would test her parents limits any chance she got, driving them both nuts for years, and pushing them further and further away from her.

coming into high school, theo quickly realized that real life wasn’t going to let her get away with absolutely anything she wanted to though, and boy did she take that and run with it.

she decided that she had to make some changes that would allow her to be useful in the world.

she got her shit together and started performing well in school. she worked some odd jobs around seattle for a couple years after graduating, but soon decided she needed a change of scenery and enlisted in the army, sick and tired of constantly feeling like she wasn’t doing enough.

having completed the combat medical technician training, she made it through quite a few deployments before her military career was cut short. while doing a medical evacuation from action, the helicopter she was in was shot down, causing a massive explosion and multiple casualties. while theo was lucky to survive, she lost a lot of good friends that day, and struggles with having left them behind to this day.

luckily enough, theo survived and was evacuated by a few rogue soldiers refusing to leave them behind. after months in a german hospital, packed with physical therapy, and some time to wallow in self pity, she moved to los angeles, just wanting the sunshine on her skin, and got certified as a paramedic.

working in los angeles and trying to deal with her ptsd and survivor’s guilt eventually became too much, and she knew she needed support. theo moved back to seattle in an effort to start repairing her relationship with her mother.