hil-sayit

[hil-sayit]

so . . there's this kin trying to get all up in my life. They seem to think we're tight enough for them to start playing matchmaker. Asking me stuff like, Why are you still single? What's your type? Should I find someone for you? I hit them straight up with, 'don't grill me with personal stuff. I didn't ask for your two cents. I've got my own thing going on, if you're not willing to do it yourself, why are you pushing it on me? Like, why do someone feel the need to stick their noses where they don't belong? I get that it might come from a good place, but seriously, I didn't ask for any of it. If you care, well, I don't really care about your interference, if you care, I still don't care. Hope they'll cut this out, but maybe it's just their thing. Regardless of how well-educated they are, if this is their usual MO, they'll keep at it. What irks me most is the audacity to try and tread in my shoe. They can ask whatever they want, but they shouldn't try to dig into my personal life.

[hil-sayit]

Beseeched by all, yet burdened by many, be wary what you crave, take heed in what you seek, for granted wishes may belie. Learn well this somber tale, with each desire take care, lest what you long for granted, brings a weight you can't bear.

[hil-sayit]

“Me in the Land of the Rising Sun”

Japan, with its mesmerizing beauty and enchanting atmosphere, truly made a lasting impression on my travel adventures. Having explored various countries in Southeast Asia, such as Singapore, Malaysia, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Thailand, I can confidently say that Japan surpasses them all. This sojourn was never part of my original plan, nor did it feature in my bucket list, but fate intervened when a friend invited me to join their travel group, which included a visit to this unforgettable country.

November 16, 2023, my travel began with a domestic flight from Davao to Manila, accompanied by my travel companion, though we found ourselves on different flights and airlines. Understandably exhausted by the time I arrived in Manila, I contemplated whether to wait at the airport for my friend's flight or seek respite in one of the capsule sleeping areas. Eventually opting for a hotel in Makati to rest, I informed my friend of my plans, hoping he would reach out if necessary. Unbeknownst to me, I slept through my alarms, waking up in a panic as I realized I had missed several calls from my friend, who was urging me to hurry. In a rush, I booked a Grab taxi, undoubtedly burdening my friend with my tardiness and repeatedly apologizing for my oversight. Holding my breath, I urged the driver to hasten our ride, anxious about missing our flight.

Little did I know that the challenges had only just begun. Even before leaving my hometown, I received a brief notice from the airline stating that our flight had been rescheduled to an earlier time. Desperate, I contacted my friend, seeking any means to expedite our trip. We resorted to costly transportation arrangements, arriving just in time for our boarding. The relief of having overcome this hurdle washed over me.

Upon arriving at Narita International Airport on November 17, 2023, I was struck by a mixture of awe and bewilderment. Despite having visited numerous destinations before, Japan felt like uncharted territory, evoking emotions I had not experienced previously. Overwhelmed by the bustling stations of Narita, my friend and I sought assistance from information desks to pinpoint the right station for our next destination, Osaka. Once we had acquired our tickets for the Shinkansen, the renowned high-speed train, I marveled at the opportunity to ride on this unforgettable travel. Unfortunately, my anticipation for enjoying the scenic views was dampened as I found myself engrossed in paperwork during the train ride.

Initially uncertain of our seat, we approached a Japanese gentleman seated near the window, who greeted us with a warm smile. Struggling to communicate verbally due to his limited English proficiency, we turned to translation apps on our phones. Eventually, the kind Japanese man pointed us in the direction of our designated seats, alleviating our weariness from hauling heavy luggage that accompanied our linguistic trepidation. Despite the fatigue, the presence of the bullet train and the thrill of its speed permeated the atmosphere, leaving an indelible impression on my memory, even if I couldn't fully appreciate the scenery outside.

The fatigue from our exhaustive travel culminated as we arrived in Osaka, eagerly navigating the multiple train transfers necessary to reach our destination. Hours passed before we finally emerged from the subway, greeted by the biting cold of the 8-degree Celsius weather—a sign to the beauty and chilliness of Osaka, particularly in the lively district of Dotonbori. Fashion-forward locals dressed in coats and sweaters paraded before me, akin to a fashion show runway. It didn't take long for me to immerse myself in the photogenic corners of Dotonbori and indulge in delectable Japanese street food like Takoyaki and Ramen. The language barrier seemed like a minor hurdle as I sought assistance during my purchases, adapting to the uniqueness of it all. On day two, I purchased a puffy jacket and winter outfits from Zara and Uniqlo, unprepared for the intense cold that greeted me. Little did I know that my suitcase full of warm clothing would go unused.

In the following days, we explored the distinct beauty of Osaka and Kyoto, aided by a friend who acted as our tour guide. Amidst the routine of hopping on and off different trains, we found ourselves traversing Kyoto, making stops at sites such as the Fushimi Inari Shrine. As we walked the streets of the village surrounding the shrine, I couldn't help but marvel at the traditional Japanese houses that mirrored the animated images from my childhood. Impeccable cleanliness and an commitment to hygiene were evident in every corner, reinforcing the discipline of the Japanese people in maintaining the pristine state of their surroundings. Captivated by the scenery, I insisted on capturing every street through photographs, creating a memorable keepsake. Although we couldn't complete the entire walking through the mesmerizing red torii gates of the shrine due to time constraints, we redirected our focus to exploring more of Kyoto and maximizing our limited time.

On another day, we dedicated our time to the Universal Studios Japan. The euphoric sounds and energy of the park greeted us, even in the midst of cold weather. Embracing the childlike joy that washed over me, I eagerly embarked on each ride, soaking in the enchantment that the park had to offer. This visit to Universal Studios felt notably different from my previous experience in Singapore, as the lengthy queues necessitated my friend's retreat back to our hotel in Dotonbori due to exhaustion. Left to explore the park alone, I reveled in a sense of freedom and happiness, momentarily detaching from any worries or concerns.

During our last day in Osaka, we made an early departure from the nearest station, heading to Kansai International Airport with Hokkaido as our destination. The excitement was building, especially after our friend filmed the snowfall and shared it with our group chat. Witnessing the snowfall became an immediate desire for me. As we approached the airport, I was awestruck by its unique location - constructed in the middle of the sea, it resembled a captivating island, offering a breathtaking view from the airplane.

The travel to Chitose International Airport in Hokkaido was nothing short of magical. Snow-covered mountains painted a picturesque scene that truly mesmerized me. The sunlight danced differently across Hokkaido, creating a stunning ambiance. I was fortunate to capture this beautiful sunset, as it played upon the clouds, etching an unforgettable memory in my heart. Grateful, I thanked Allah (S.W.T) and took a moment to reflect on this incredible experience, appreciating the path that led me there.

Upon arrival in Chitose, we boarded another train destined for Sapporo, the central city of Hokkaido, where we had booked our hotel. Despite the exhaustion from carrying our heavy luggage, we pushed through, fueled by the anticipation of exploring the enchanting city. After checking in, while my friend took a well-deserved rest, I wasted no time and ventured out to discover the beauty of Sapporo. My exploration led me to the Sapporo TV Tower, granting me a bird's-eye view of the entire city. Standing there in solitude, I embraced the moment, soaking in its splendor. It was during this time that I contemplated the blessings bestowed upon me, realizing that none of it would be possible without the guidance of Allah (S.W.T).

The following day, we purchased tickets to visit the Asahiyama Zoo, stopping at various beautiful places along the way. Each stop left me in awe, as I braved the intense cold, capturing the essence of every location through the lens of my camera. This trip became an unforgettable chapter in my life, cherished and kept close to my heart. Even though I didn't experience the snowfall, I am grateful for the opportunity that unfolded before me. I also ventured alone to Mt. Moiwa, where I unleashed my imagination, envisioning future endeavors and mapping out my next five years. From the viewpoint atop the mountain, I settled down with a cup of coffee, gazing out of the window, capturing both the physical and metaphysical beauty of Sapporo. I penned my thoughts, allowing myself to dream of beautiful things. It is during moments like these that I truly comprehend that nothing is unattainable when I wholeheartedly pursue my desires and take action. The lessons and realizations I experienced on the peak of Sapporo remain invaluable.

Through traveling alone, I confronted some of my fears. The unfamiliarity and uncertainty of being in unknown places consumed me initially, but I soon discovered that such apprehensions were baseless. Instead, I found myself welcomed by friendly strangers and embraced by a place I had initially feared. I learned that there is nothing wrong with embracing the unknown and braving the things that scare us, for in doing so, we tap into our limitless potential. Although I foresee a future where I long for companionship, marriage, and starting a family, I understand that these desires are not my current priority. Instead, I leave it to the divine will of Allah (S.W.T), embracing whatever path is laid out before me without regret or blame. For now, I continue to chase my dreams, as they remain unfulfilled and a collection of experiences yet to be gathered.

Leaving Sapporo, I made a promise to myself: to return to this captivating city that has stolen my heart. Thankfully, there will always be a reason to come back. While I had hoped to experience the winter season, the journey fast-forwarded, and it became my final day in Sapporo. I caught my flight to Narita International Airport, marking the last leg of my Japanese adventure. Tokyo, the last prefecture on my itinerary, awaited me. Without wasting a single moment, the night before my arrival, I started on a travel to Shibuya, eager to witness and traverse its bustling streets. The sheer volume of people amazed me, and I couldn't help but wonder their origins. Shibuya quickly became my favorite spot in Tokyo, despite having only a day to freely explore before returning home before my friend. I wandered, indulging in all that caught my shopping, tasting various culinary delights, and immersing myself in the vibrant ambiance. To add to the enchantment, I visited TeamLab at night, an otherworldly experience, where lights and visual marvels captivated my senses.

My love for Japan and its people is anchored in the strong sense of discipline and politeness that permeates every aspect of life. I observed firsthand how everything operates seamlessly - governed by systems and propelled by efficient processes. Whether witnessing children, adults, or seniors, everyone walked at an astonishing pace, a true proof to their respect for rules and order. Japan, in a single word, can be described as "FAST." It is no wonder why this country ranks highly in development and stands as a beacon of first-world infrastructure.

My travel through Japan spanned countless memorable encounters and awe-inspiring experiences. From the arduous journey to the spectacular sights of Osaka and Kyoto, From the marvels of Sapporo to the vibrant street of Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan proved itself as a captivating destination that surpassed all expectations. Its pristine cleanliness, fast-paced lifestyle, and warm-hearted locals left an unforgettable impression on my soul. Japan, a country that effortlessly blends tradition and modernity, will forever hold a special place in my travel memories.

[hil-sayit]

“Feel it”

In life’s trials, embrace the moment's sway,

Hear it, feel it, let it wound, but don't repay.

Revenge, oh, wrathful fruit that brings no gain,

For harming others invokes only needless pain.

Instead, nurture the fortitude in your soul,

Strengthen your faith, let divine guidance console.

Let not their words erode your spirit's gleam,

Nor extinguish the flickering light of your dream.

Focus your gaze on the stars overhead,

In their celestial dance, be your steps led.

In the realm of triumph, your respite so sweet,

For Insha'Allah, success shall be your revenge complete.

[hil-sayit]

The power of manifestation takes us deeper into our desires, which may or may not be possible to reach. It depends on how determined, committed, passionate, and perseverant you are. To make your manifestations a reality, you must take action, not just imagine, dream, or wait for it to happen. If you believe in yourself and are certain in your decisions, then you can turn your manifestations into reality.

[hil-sayit]

Anger

You come off as arrogant and belittling, my friend. When patience fails me, I turn to you, ya Allah, to absolve my sins. I loathe my thoughts and emotions, leaving them to whomever they may concern. I stand by my wisdom, regardless of the profession, as I see no professional acts. Let us be mindful of our words before they escape our lips. I thank my superego for its guidance, and I will pray for its professional growth.

PS: i’m not sure if you have studied Human Behavior in Organization. Do you understand the concept of values? It is a broad and complex idea, not just a simple word. I hate expressing my emotions, as it can be confusing, even to the most discerning of minds.

Reflect.

May 15, 2021

[hil-sayit]

Lost in the haze of uncertainty, I search for a glimmer of clarity. But all I find is a vast emptiness, a void that echoes with my loneliness. I am but a shattered vessel, adrift in a sea of broken dreams and forgotten promises. Yet still I cling to the hope that someday, somehow, I will find my way back to the light.

[hil-sayit]

She, the one in my heart

As I gazed upon her lying in bed, with the dextrose line snaking its way into her veins, I couldn't help but feel a sense of helplessness. I watched as she winced in pain, her body wracked by the suffering she was enduring. And yet, in the midst of all this, she remained stoic, her gaze fixed upon some distant horizon as she grappled with the weight of her thoughts.

I could see the furrowed brow, the deep lines etched into her face, and I knew that she was struggling. She complained of headaches, asked questions about platelets, and I could feel my heart breaking as I bore witness to her pain. The last time I saw her, she looked up at me, her eyes filled with a quiet desperation, and asked me where I was going to sleep.

I loved her more than anything in this world, and it was with a heavy heart that I left the hospital that day. But even as I walked away, I knew that I would never forget her, that she would always remain the one in my heart.

my angel

[hil-sayit]

When Bad Day hits you!!!

Early in the morning, I boarded a van headed towards Gensan. The driver assured me that it would be a nonstop trip to Gensan, but when we arrived in Marbel, he informed me that I would have to transfer to another van. The reason? There were insufficient passengers for the van to continue its journey to Gensan. I couldn't help but feel frustrated at the inconvenience.

As I rode a motorcycle from Gaisano Mall to PRC Robinsons, I realized that I had been scammed by the driver. I had forgotten to use my Google Maps, and I had no idea that the destination was actually much nearer than I had thought. I couldn't help but feel foolish for not being more cautious.

I had gone to authenticate my license and board rating, but I found myself standing in the queue for an hour. When it was finally my turn, the guy at the counter asked for my PRC ID. There was no consideration for a photocopy, and he didn't take into account the long journey I had made to get there. I had forgotten my license in the office printer, and I couldn't help but feel frustrated at my forgetfulness.

To accomplish at least one compliance that day, I went to my alma mater to request a copy of my TOR and diploma for authentication. The woman at the registrar told me to come back in the afternoon at 4:30. I arrived promptly at 4:30, but to my frustration, the woman told me that I would have to come back on Tuesday. The assigned signatories had left the office without noticing, and I couldn't help but feel like I was wasting my time.

I had intended to go to town, but I ended up at the college instead. I couldn't help but feel frustrated at myself for not being more aware of my surroundings. I was so lost that day, and I couldn't help but feel like I was going in circles.

I had planned to post this yesterday evening, but I was so drowsy that I slept unconsciously. So here it is, the story of how my day was ruined by a series of unfortunate events. I had hoped to finish all the requirements for my renewal of contract, but it seemed like everything that could go wrong did.

08/08/2019

[hil-sayit]

in my head

As I approached the entrance of our office, I came to an abrupt halt, staring at the building with a sense of unease. The question that rose to the forefront of my mind was one that had been nagging at me for some time: does the organization I'm affiliated with truly fulfill its mandates? Do its programs and services effectively achieve its mission and vision for the community it serves? I couldn't help but wonder if the people in the community were truly feeling the impact of the organization's efforts. Were the funds being utilized in accordance with the guidelines, and how much of these funds were being allocated for the implementation of projects? Were the beneficiaries of these various programs truly receiving the services they were promised?

As I continued to ponder these questions, I couldn't help but wonder if the costs being shown to the public were truly accurate. My mind was filled with so many questions that I couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that something was amiss. Was I truly blind to the reality of the situation? Was I deaf to the truth?

Despite my concerns, I knew that I couldn't take action. The fear of the unknown was too great, and I didn't know what would happen the day I spoke up. It was a well-known fact that in some organizations, employees were silenced with duct tape over their mouths.

What if you discover that someone you trust is manipulating you? What if you realize that you are being played? What if the person you thought was your closest ally is actually your ultimate adversary? What if you discover that someone is the game changer, and that person is not who you thought it was? What if you realize that the person you believed could transform things is nothing more than a puppet?

Many of us are plagued by "what ifs" and a cacophony of voices clamoring to be heard, yet these voices often go unheard. The fear of contract termination or revocation stifles their freedom of expression. What becomes of these voiceless prodigies? Can they make a meaningful contribution to the organization's development? If so, how?

These are a few questions that my alter-ego had been contemplating. After all, the inquiries in my mind were resolved, and it became apparent that none of these questions would arise if the leadership and the leader themselves fulfilled their responsibilities.

What is the purpose of a leader? What is the function of the leader? How can a leader manage such a vast organization that contains so much rumor and malicious speculation towards individuals who often wonder why such organizations have these types of issues? How can a leader adopt and implement what they call ethical governance and transparency? Is this achievable?

I recall a famous quote from the five-star General of the United States Army, Dwight D. Eisenhower: "The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office."

In other words, an organization can only be in good hands with a leader who understands the significance of integrity in leadership. The importance of integrity towards leadership cannot be overstated. A leader who prioritizes integrity in their decision-making is more likely to inspire trust, build strong relationships, and create a culture of excellence within organization.

Integrity is essential to building and maintaining trust, which is the foundation of any successful organization. By prioritizing integrity, leaders can create a culture of transparency and accountability, which can help to inspire and motivate members to work towards shared goals.

[hil-sayit]

Dear Self

As I prepare to leave this place,

I can't help but feel my mind's disgrace.

Polluted with negative energy,

false sympathy surrounds me.

Ignorance is my weakness,

but I'm not one to seek less.

Those in recovery can't understand,

the way life flows, like sand.

I won't run from them, it's true,

I'll fly towards my desires, anew.

These people don't harm, they're just naysayers,

underestimating others' capabilities, like players.

Throughout my life, I've always yearned,

to go somewhere where I'm not spurned.

It's easy for some to let go,

move on, forget, and let it flow.

But for me, it's not that simple,

I'm stuck in the past, like a dimple.

I need to break free from these chains,

that hold me back, like reins.

It's easier said than done, I know,

but I'll find a way to let it go.

I'll move on and start anew,

and create a life that's bright and true.

[hil-sayit]

Bitches ruined someone else living

In this world full of lies, there are people who cannot be trusted. The curse is over. Always remember that a mask remains a mask. But if you take it off and look inside, you'll see the whole picture.

[hil-sayit]

Wretch

You're intoxicated of your own habit which turned into addiction. Now you're pleasing someone who's victim of your crime, asking a cure which curses your badass life.

[hil-sayit]

Emo-son

I've fallen in love with someone who loves me back, a sweet surprise. I'm not sure who caused me pain, but I know the difference between right and wrong. This love is a salve for my depression and the dark places it takes me to.

I keep my struggles to myself and seek solace in self-therapy. It's like I'm living in a room haunted by demons that never stop fighting the good thoughts in my mind.

I want to be an agent of change, to help people see the beauty in themselves and others. But I often criticize and try to prove things that aren't true. I have a sixth sense, but not everything can be judged. I don't know what's happening in my life. My goals are being hindered, but I'm striving to get them back on track.