hillbillyhubby

[hillbillyhubby]

Last night @strict-consistent-wifey gave me a hard paddling over her knee. It did not last too long, but her Elinor paddle sure made an impact. It hurt, and I had a hard time not yelping and yelling.

I had carelessly broken a rule, and one she considers a “slam dunk” because it should be so easy for me to follow. You see, in our house we have rules. When I break the rules, she corrects my behavior. I know myself well enough to know that Strict and consistent is exactly what I need. I even feel comforted by the inevitability of her discipline. I will never get out of control for long, and certainly not lost, as she will pull me back, put me across her knee, and set me back on the straight and narrow.

HH!

[hillbillyhubby]

Having a paddle hanging on the wall is something I saw in a lot of homes growing up. It was not a big deal, and never seemed unusual. Sometimes they were decorative or amusing… sometimes they were very functional. If not hanging on display a spanking tool was usually handy sitting around the house.

Strangely enough in “modern times,” the last 10-15 years, the only home where I have seen a paddle displayed is my Mother-in-Law’s house. She kept a wooden spatula she used as a paddle hanging in her kitchen or living room. It was decorated, clearly not for cooking. She is well known as a tough lady, and doesn’t tolerate misbehavior.

Who else has, or remembers, a paddle being displayed in homes?

HH!

[hillbillyhubby]

@strict-consistent-wifey and I are over a year into our Domestic Discipline relationship, and so far have not told any family or friends about our arrangement. There is nothing wrong with keeping it private, and every family is different. But having some trusted loved ones know about my discipline spankings seems somehow strangely appropriate to me. It think it would help normalize what we do in my mind, and I have always been big on the idea of community. I come from a big extended family that shares a lot, and having someone who we respect know I get my hiney tanned does not bother me at all.

Ultimately, like a lot of our domestic affairs, this is up to Wifey as I trust her above anyone where it concerns my behavior. I’ll be patient and we will see what happens.

HH!

[hillbillyhubby]

I was asked recently if I felt childish or emasculated since my wife started spanking me. The truth is, not in the least!

There are clear roles, my wife is the Mama of the house, and she is my disciplinarian. There is nothing about her role that makes me less of a man, and in fact her discipline helps make me a better man. Spankings are usually a childish punishment… but they work! It may be a little embarrassing, but that can serve as a reason to learn your lesson. Honestly I am grateful she is willing to put me over her knee and correct me.

HH!

[hillbillyhubby]

Sunday evening @strict-consistent-wifey paddled me hard with the Elinor paddle. I was being disciplined for speaking disrespectfully to her during an emotional outburst. At the time she immediately asked (rhetorically I think) if I wanted paddled now or later. After she had me over her knee and feeling truly sorry, she promised a spanking each and every time it happened again.

I realize that sometimes I need a serious punishment, and I am grateful that she loved me enough to correct my behavior. She reminded me several times that I had a correction coming to keep it on my mind. It made it so much better than arguing or fuming… just consequences for poor behavior, based in loving care.

HH!

[hillbillyhubby]

Yesterday was my 41st birthday, and @strict-consistent-wifey does not miss an opportunity.

I got a good old fashioned birthday spanking. It must be a combination of skill, experience and strength that she has gained in the last year of DD… but she lit my behind on fire. Here’s to another year of personal growth, growing our relationship, and accountability through discipline.

HH!

[hillbillyhubby]

When we should have started our domestic discipline relationship: the night we got married.

But we have the right idea now, and we are making up for lost time. I feel so much more loved and cared for when she just lectures me on my poor behavior, then takes me over her knee.

HH!

[hillbillyhubby]

[hillbillyhubby]

So my dear Wifey has a cute story from when we first dated (at ~16 & 18) about throwing away my cigarettes and chewing tobacco every time she found it.

Fast forward 25 years or so to now, I’m a 40 year old man, and she finds out I am using snuff for a performance enhancer in my very physical pursuits. I had no idea that this long ago preference should have been considered an unwritten rule. But I suppose it is now. Whoops.

HH!

[hillbillyhubby]

Effective is one way to put it. I was shouting, disrespectful and completely out of control. The next thing I knew I was over her knee, being scolded and getting the worst paddling I can ever remember. It was exactly what domestic discipline is for in the first place. I got a hard reset on how I am to treat her, and faced the consequences for acting otherwise.

HH!

Assertive Young Ladies #25-26-2

[hillbillyhubby]

In the “before times” I spent an awful lot of time saying sorry. I felt sorry… like a sorry husband and man. Not because I didn’t try, and in fact was probably doing very well by most metrics. But I could only see the failures, and lived in fear of letting everyone down. That’s no way to live.

Now, I do not have to get down on myself, and live timidly and wracked with guilt. We have made a switch to real, visceral, and immediate accountability. When I fall short of the standards we have established, she corrects my behavior. When I act in a manner I shouldn’t, I am punished. I am guaranteed to be sorry, and I am going to show it kicking over her lap. She is going to be clear and firm in communicating the problem, then discipline me. Not only are we both communicating better, but I have the real mental release of having my shortcomings dealt with.

I don’t like the punishment. Not ever in the moment. That’s why it works as a real deterrent. But it also lets me know that she is dealing with the behavior, and is not resentful. Wifey spanks me because she loves me and is helping me achieve my potential. “Sorry” is not a very good catalyst for change. But her big ole paddle blistering my behind… that solves the problem.

HH!

Assertive Young Ladies #23-21-2

[hillbillyhubby]

@strict-consistent-wifey makes it perfectly clear. When she turns me over her knee and warms my behind, it is always coming from a place of love. She spanks me because she cares, and because I need accountability and discipline in my life.

That doesn’t mean, of course, that it will not burn like the lake of fire. (Bad language is against the rules…)

HH!

[hillbillyhubby]

One of the questions I get is how we maintain a disciplinary dynamic in a house that includes our daughter. The short answer? Quietly. Intentionally. And with a good amount of humor.

Our daughter knows that Mama doesn’t mess around. She’s seen me give a sharp look, use a firm tone, and yes—swat her daddy’s behind with an oven mitt when he’s loitering in my kitchen like he doesn’t know better. But she doesn’t know what lies beneath that. She doesn’t know about structure, or rules, or consequences. She doesn’t see discipline between us —not really.

That’s not because we’re hiding something shameful. It’s because we protect the meaning of discipline. And we protect her from the weight of something she’s not meant to carry.

Discipline in our house is deeply personal. It’s not performative, and it’s not public. So when it needs to happen, we keep it subtle and symbolic—meaningful for us, but invisible to her.

We’ve got words that mean something only to us.

We’ve got looks.

We’ve got signals hidden in plain sight—like a magnet on the fridge that gets flipped upside down when something’s off. (If you’re a Big Bang Theory fan, you might recognize the idea—just like Sheldon’s distress signal with the apartment flag, ours lets him know correction is coming.)

Sometimes it’s a wooden spoon left on the counter.

A quiet phrase like, “We’ll talk after bedtime.”

A text of the 🏏 from across the room.

Or something as simple and unmistakable as: “You’ve been warned.”

None of it would register to her as anything unusual—but for him, it’s unmistakable. It creates clarity without spectacle. And that’s important to both of us.

She’s smart. She’s quick. She’ll sometimes call him out with a mischievous grin and suggest, “Mama, you should spank him!” And we laugh, because all she’s really seen is me being sassy and in charge—maybe giving him a little swat on the way to the sink. But she doesn’t understand what correction really means, and she doesn’t need to.

We designed our structure with our whole household in mind. Discipline doesn’t stop just because there’s a child in the room—but it does adapt. It becomes gentler, quieter, more rooted in trust and communication. It leans into symbols and cues and respect for the spaces our daughter moves through freely.

One day, she’ll understand more about power, and respect, and what it means to love someone enough to keep them accountable. But today is not that day. And that’s just the way it should be.

— SCW

[hillbillyhubby]

Sunday I got a real deal attitude adjustment. I was told I was not being cooperative and willing for my maintenance spanking. That was dealt with… rather clearly. I was kicking and squalling, and had to reconsider my pouty behavior. It was the first time Wifey had to lotion my behind afterwards… she had paddled my hiney to a solid grey color.

HH!

[hillbillyhubby]

Let us hear your questions about F/m DD. We are glad to share.

HH!

I’ve been getting a lot of thoughtful questions lately—some in reblogs, some in messages—and while I always intend to answer every one, life sometimes gets ahead of me (especially with school out, summer routines shifting, and everyone in the house trying to share the same amount of bandwidth.)

So here’s your official invitation:

If you’ve got a question about how we live our dynamic—discipline, structure, rituals, parenting, reconnection, boundaries, or anything in between—send it my way.

You’re welcome to ask anonymously or sign your name. And if it’s something both of us can speak to, I’ll be answering a few with @hillbillyhubby in a joint post.

We’ll compile responses into one or more posts, depending on what comes in and how deep we go. And if you’ve asked something in the past and I didn’t respond—this is me making it right. Ask again. I want to honor the conversations you’re trying to start.

No question is too small, and no, you don’t need to preface it with “I hope this isn’t too personal.” If we can answer it with honesty and clarity, we will.

[hillbillyhubby]

I was initially against preventative maintenance spankings. I mean, spankings are punishment, right? However, the when, how, and “what fors” of getting my behind paddled is her choice to make… not mine. Of course as in many things, Wifey was right. She saw my discipline as an ongoing thing to be constantly, and consistently, worked on. Not simply reactive, but proactively addressing the way I should behave.

So I spend my Sundays with a sore bottom. It works for us, and keeps my focus where it should be. I guess I am a rowdy boy, I just need the extra attention.

HH!

Sunday Ladies #23-20-1

[hillbillyhubby]

Last night I was disciplined for being late getting home from work (usually means I am sitting around the fire drinking beer) and not replying respectfully when informed I was late. Rule #2&3, pretty standard stuff.

I walked into our bedroom to see the Vice-Principal waiting. Wifey keeps the long, heavy walnut school paddle reserved for when I’ve been Bad Bad BAD! Sure enough, she paddled my behind hard, and I was kicking and squalling like a champion. Meetings with the Vice-Principal are like that.

But then she stopped to check something out… and tells me that she has never seen that color before. Wifey had paddled my sit spots to a grayish green color! She ordered me up to look in the mirror. Yikes. I had trouble sitting at work today, particularly rough because my job involves rough adventurous rides. Haha.

I will certainly give my best to be Good Good GOOD!

HH!

Sunday Ladies #25-24-2