hiosphere

[hiosphere]

two zero two five

happy new year!! a bit late since it's already the 4th but it is another new, shiny year so it still counts

this year I am one year away from having my prefrontal cortex finally formed; twenty-fourrrr yessirrrr

what to feel, what to feel, what to feel

as per norm, I have already filled out my 2025 goals and aspirations like all the masses. healthier, wiser, less stupid purchases, so on and so forth. I am looking forward to experience new things, challenging myself to a new edge i.e. joining that damn marathon that I am always afraid of lmao, speaking up more at work, being mindful of where I am and what I should say and how I should act at the moment. not having my cluttered brain wondering too much of the things that I am not able to control.

this year I feel like I should less worry about moving to the next phase of life and just enjoy the things that I have already have at the moment, making the most out of it and following the current as one should be. I do need to start upgrading my skills more in terms of career wise though, feeling like having the 'I can't do that' mindset will forever set me back from achieving what I deserve. let's go!! we can do this!!

now to the TMI about my life, I just got better from a fever. can you believe the plot twist my immune system decided to have lmao. not getting fever all year but decided to by the very last days of 2024. quite ironic but yeah.

one of my closest cousins got married the other day and it was so, so, so bittersweet to finally see her being in the arms of the love of her life. especially since I watched her cried during her lowest moments, trying to keep the relationship going. life absolutely does not revolve around relationships; I am aware of that, and I am not romanticizing the act of suffering to get your happy ending. I think everyone deserves a happy ending and sometimes that happy ending does require a bit of a sacrifice. that's what makes it worth it in the end. I hope everything goes well for her, I always hope so.

more, I just had a big fight with my boyfriend last night. we made up, we always do, but coming out of that fight, I feel like I should really stop trying to add up things to make the situation worse lmao. one thing that I really appreciate is how emotionally intelligent he is in explaining his side that I can take a step back and realize my own mistake and make up for it. I don't know why but having that trait of him feels very easy to fix our wrongdoings whenever we experience misunderstandings. it doesn't feel like I have to solve a puzzle that I don't have the answer to.

yesterday, I also had such bad cramps that I was crying the entire way home from work (actually one the reasons why my emotional sensitivities were like way up to a 100) but my best friend saw the picture of me crying because of cramps and accompanied me thru facetime the entire way back :( my work bestie also helped me a lot in relieving my cramps by helping me fill up my bottle with hot water :( the way that I am just so, so, so grateful God gave me these wonderful, selfless people when I needed someone the most.

thank you, truly for all these abundant blessings in life. alhamdulillah for everything x

[hiosphere]

today was a bit of hard day for my work bestie since she has so many tasks on hand so I joked with her a lot to not let her be stressed out too much.

and then she proceeded to say that her days at work are better because of my presence and i was just like TT TT TT NAURRRR

then i joked that i was just thinking about resigning lmao and she got mad at me because if i’m resigning, she’s following me HAHAHHA she’s so cute TT

[hiosphere]

done my second week of running 3 days per week!!

got to push myself to finish 5 km each time so maybe gonna try for 6 km under an hourrrrr

felt a little better today after yesterday’s hurtful comments by a dear friend, but really, life goes on. let’s just try to be better as what my boyfriend said. let’s goooooo girls we can do thisssssss \ ^o^ /

[hiosphere]

day 4 of trying to run 5 km and i did it!!

halfway felt like puking but the end of the run felt so sweet :’

love love loveeeeeee the runner’s high!!

[hiosphere]

currently trying to alter and reattach my blouse.

I honestly don’t know what will come out of it but i honestly don’t care anymore since i’m basically broke until the next two months and the wedding is the end of this month :’)

-- 4th january update:

I wore the blouse on the wedding day and it was okay, but the sleeves were a bit puffy, making my shoulders looked wide :(

findings: TOTAL FAILURE

[hiosphere]

to the start of me journaling x

may the new year of 2025 make me a bit motivated to start being mindful with daily (mostly negative) thoughts!!

just something to look back upon and not be a lost thought.