hitchhikers-guide-official

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

do haggunenons have freaky gay sex

Haggunenons constantly evolve, changing genetically and physically round the clock. So statistically, absolutely.

Even if this were not the case, the answer would still be: almost certainly.

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

Visit Allosimanius Syneca !

Excerpt from the Guide below.

Excerpt from the Guide: "Allosimanius Syneca is a world of ice, snow, mind-hurtling beauty and stunning cold. The trek from the snow plains of Liska to the summit of the Ice Crystal Pyramids of Sastantua is long and gruelling, even with jet skis and a team of Syneca Snowhounds, but the view from the top, a view which takes in the Stin Glacier Fields, the shimmering Prism Mountains and the far ethereal dancing icelights, is one which first freezes the mind and then slowly releases it to hitherto unexperienced horizons of beauty. The planet is so beautiful that if you stood on top of the Ice Crystal Pyramids of Sastantua and looked out, it is possible that your brain will fall out due to unobserved beauty." (Douglas Adams)

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I found this. I found you.

I’ve still got my towel.

We're glad. Happy hitchhiking!

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has the ranking for the worst poetry in the world changed at all?

Depends! Submissions are always accepted, and you are more than welcome to send in some of your own poetry.

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

"Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still know where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with." Full quote below.

Happy Towel Day to all the hitchhikers out there!

"A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Party it has great practical value– you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you– daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough. More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit, etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have ‘lost.’ What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still know where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."

(The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams)

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

I think someone stole my towel. What do i do??

This is wildly against hitchhiker code, since it impairs a hitchhiker's ability to know where their towel is. Find a new towel as soon as possible, since you need to know where at least one is for your safety, utility, and comfort. Best of luck.

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

After that, there’s the whole galaxy waiting!

about to listen to the H2G2 radio show and im excited obviously but also really sad and pissed off bc this is the official last piece of Hitchhiker’s i will ever consume

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

Since Ford Prefect was his Earth name, how did Zaphod Beeblebrox immediately know his name was Ford when they met again on the Heart of Gold?

This is a question that comes up quite a bit.

The answer is that Ford registered the name Ford Prefect at the Galactic Nomenclaturoid Office before getting stranded on Earth (direct quote below).

It was very simple. Just before arriving he registered his new name officially at the Galactic Nomenclaturoid Office, where they had the technology to unpick his old name from the fabric of space/time and thread the new one in its place, so that to all intents and purposes his name always had been and always will be Ford Prefect. (DNA in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Original Radio Scripts)

I’m rereading hitchhikers guide and it’s always bothered me that when Zaphod and Ford meet on the heart of gold Zaphod says “hi Ford” because there is NO REASON he should know that Ford is using that name

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

Pipe bomb

Oh no, not again.

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

Hitchhiking Tip #8: Never trust directions from someone with three eyes.

In other news, one of our writers is stuck on the moon Epun.

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

Does The Guide have an entry on what to do if you're stuck facing a temporal customs officer who will not accept the explanation that the version of you that took the travel bag full of duty free alcohol from Milliways just before you was actually from further in your personal timeline than you are, so he's the one who should have had to pay import taxes on it, not you?

This is a very frustrating dilemma. In the future, we recommend timing your arrival with your departure so that you can say you didn't have it in either the first or second place, or do a quick hand-off.

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Temporal customs is an absolute nightmare.

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Hitchhiking Tip #7: If you're a writer for the Guide, please check back in sometimes so that we know you're alive.

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

If you would like a better answer to this, when taking a walk outside, acid rain can range anywhere from “What a lovely and unnoticably acidic drizzle" to “Oh no, I’m sure that I had skin when I started.” 

This depends on both your planet and your skin sensitivity. A towel woven in with tungsten may help.

Will a towel protect me from acid rain?

We don’t see why it wouldn’t.

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

Will a towel protect me from acid rain?

We don’t see why it wouldn’t.

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

We hope it won't come to deployment of the Footwarriors, but this is a great tip.

And you may certainly suggest! We highly appreciate any additions, as the Guide is always ongoing and in progress.

the dolmansaxlil galactic shoe corporation just set up a shoe intensifier ray near my planet, what should i do?

This is serious. Your planet may be approaching the Shoe Event Horizon, in which it’s only economically possible to build shoe shops. This event can be reached without the Shoe Intensifier Ray, as it draws on natural shoe insecurities inherent to many species.

Other than leaving the planet altogether or evolving into birds, you have two choices. One is to succumb to the Dolmansaxlil Corporation, which will result in a planet covered in nothing but shoe shops, and economic and mental depression (see Brontitall).

The other is to lead a rebellion. Gather your sturdiest and most comfortable pairs of shoes that you already own, and do not buy more. Resist the tempation of shoes no matter what, and instruct your neighbours to do the same. If possible, evolve into birds.

[hitchhikers-guide-official]

the dolmansaxlil galactic shoe corporation just set up a shoe intensifier ray near my planet, what should i do?

This is serious. Your planet may be approaching the Shoe Event Horizon, in which it’s only economically possible to build shoe shops. This event can be reached without the Shoe Intensifier Ray, as it draws on natural shoe insecurities inherent to many species.

Other than leaving the planet altogether or evolving into birds, you have two choices. One is to succumb to the Dolmansaxlil Corporation, which will result in a planet covered in nothing but shoe shops, and economic and mental depression (see Brontitall).

The other is to lead a rebellion. Gather your sturdiest and most comfortable pairs of shoes that you already own, and do not buy more. Resist the tempation of shoes no matter what, and instruct your neighbours to do the same. If possible, evolve into birds.