hitmetothebone

[hitmetothebone]

When you find yourself angry at God, do all you can to reject the instinct to distance yourself from Him. The mistake we make when we’re angry is that in the initial, tumultuous time, we run from God instead of realizing that it is in that moment that we need Him most.

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Amazing how the story of Ruth draws Jesus' genealogy that springs up from the broken past of a woman named Ruth. Didn't notice I already read the whole book of Ruth when in fact I thought I was reading a bedtime story! I loved her life. It resonated with me in my own personal way. :)

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“Remember He is the artist and you are only the picture. You can't see it. So quietly submit to be painted" #CSLewis Right now, I'm at a stage in life where I find it so hard to understand what God is making, out of a very abstract painting which is - ME. It seems so ugly, different, abnormal... outlandish. Hence, I tend to lose hope staying still under his hand and oftentimes try to peek and see what he is doing. Try as I may, I end up being disappointed on even moving my head and peek on what I thought was becoming a figure, but God's ways will always be higher than mine so whatever I do, I can't understand his doing. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" Isaiah 55:9

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These lenses, eyes that are within the physical ones are becoming very crucial these days. Coming from a long rest, I start to use these eyes that would serve as something very valuable a new creation in Christ would operate. The sense of sight can be tricky if not used with caution. Psalm 119:18 "Open my eyes, that I may behold Wonderful things from Your law." "We look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:18) John Piper said, "We are guilty and corrupt and hard and ignorant and blind without the awakening, enlivening, softening, humbling, purifying, enlightening work of God in our lives. We will never see the beauty of spiritual reality without God's illumination." Hence, UP is God's illumination unto my existence.

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On my recent SYTYCD craze watching, I heard Kenny Ortega, a renowned producer, director and choreographer saying to Fik-shun, season 11's winner, that "I believe Fik-shun that if a chroeographer asks you to fly, you'll figure out a way to do it." It just relates so much with what we do in school when we sing. Cause there's just a very big gap between what your teacher teaches you and how you could produce it out of your own mind, body, and instrument. A lot of times people just look at it as something very precious and beautiful but what's invisible is that there's a million times gap of practice and study before achieving such a perfect and balanced product of whatever it is that you try to accomplish.

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myblownupface.

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Dang this routeeeee!

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Ya.

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Tell me where i can find that funny bone!!

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That dividing line.

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Didn't think of that!

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I wish I could have that art.

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My complete brain function 1 year ago. Now, everything's 180 deg the opposite. It's an entirely different view now that I am standing on that valley called 'what might have been'.

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Really?! Really- I kinda forgot I still have those other three on the back.

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This summer I tried looking for a job to obtain a piano for myself so I could practice my piano pieces at home in preparation for my exams in school. My keyboard which is more than 10 years of age has been bidding goodbye lately and so I wanted to replace it. I wanted to aim so hard that I can buy myself an acoustic piano even if I had to settle for a secondhand and look for a piano tuner to fix it. So with several days of looking, I found a post by a Christian company looking for a music teacher well fitted for my path. I immediately went to the interview the day after they informed me of it and attended the orientation the day itself as well. I found myself feeling at home with the place and people knowing that it is a ministry, not a mere company. During the time that Pastor Ed and his wife Maam Chamby were speaking, I know that I was going to be in good hands. I had a plan in mind what to do when school starts and work only as a part-time employee, then refer one my good friends in school who are also seeking a part-time job to sustain themselves. However, it wasn't God's plan to put me there for there was a pre-termination fee bigger than my monthly wage. Leaves were also permitted only after one year of employment hence, my rehearsals and reviews in school would be affected. And when Ms.Elisha, who was their HR officer told me that part-time teachers weren't necessary I knew that the need was really for a fulltime the whole year, and for me, it clearly wasn't fit. Even though I had rendered my first day with the team, and that I was starting to immerse myself with the school so close to my home that moment, I had to turn backwards and seek God's word for me. That piano was almost at my fingertips- but I realized that this was all my mind's doing. I wanted to buy a piano because I was so amazed at the thought of having one so I wanted to work my ass out just to buy it. I knew I could do so much and trusted at my humanly strength which was, on the contrary, very weak in the eyes of the Lord. That moment, I felt like a ball that hit a wall and only injured itself. Then only came to mind how unsettled I am inside of my assurance towards Jesus. Ever since I was disappointed that he didn't stay true to his promise, there was a gap between He and I and that our relationship wasn't solid if not the usual. It brings me back to the very word he spoke the night after my trial - "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. IF YOU LOOK FOR ME WHOLEHEARTEDLY, YOU WILL FIND ME. I WILL BE FOUND BY YOU,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.” -Little did I know what He meant when he said in Jer 29:13. I figured, the ball has to be hit against a wall first for it to know what he understood wrong. I was looking for a material thing that would satisfy me and content me. But he said in the beginning that I should look for HIM wholeheartedly. On the other hand, my human heart wanted something that is of this world. Gosh, how easily I am swayed by my own passions. It really is a journey between He and I only. The importance of Him being the apple of my eye is always quickly consumed right after I shift my eyes on the world even just for a while. This time given- my summer- is to be given only to Him who is worth its while. Every second, every minute and every hour.

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When God ceases to keep his promises on you, you tend to search for ways to swim back to him even when waves of anger, resentment, losed hope are blowing hard against you. And here I found some enlightenment shared by a very graceful, wisdomful woman on what she learned in her 87 years of living. Two things that kept repeating on my mind were: >There are only two things on earth that will last in heaven: Word of God, and souls. Everything else that we devote our lives to will disappear. The goal for all of us should be investing in the lives of people with the word of God. You don't have to be a seminary graduate. But you can share what you learned from God's word. >For me to live is to lose, and To die is gain=because right then you have the presence of the Lord. "I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future [element: time], nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,will be able to separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus." That for her, this is very assuring- setting aside all the lessons she can articulate on several years of walk with God. That it gives her a life without every imagination that comes to mind which could terrorize her. A life totally dependent on the Lord, trusting his Love, which he shows it to his people. All these felt like gazing on a horizon, gazing and at the same time being with God and only Him.

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My Disappointment with God. Last May, I had my finals in school- singing 8 classical songs, and a whole lot of work under my skin. Bursted out all my efforts-sweat and blood into it, not to mention a gas reflux emerging, weeks before the exam, a panelist that had been my prevous voice teacher whom I walked out from, and a brand new technique to hit B as my last note. Weeks later, results came out and it wasn’t what I prayed for. I was disappointed because the Lord didn’t come through with what he promised. But then he had a very different agenda unfolding- ~~ ARE YOU DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES? If our joy depends on circumstances, we are in trouble, because circumstances are always changing. There are too many variables for them to remain the same. Did you expect a promotion, and someone less qualified got the job instead? Has illness interrupted and permanently altered the plans you had for your family? Has a divorce you never wanted radically changed your circumstances? Disappointment works in our lives like the wedge above. >If we let our disappointment fester, the wedge is driven in a little farther, and we experience discouragement. >Unchecked, discouragement because disillusionment. >Then the wedge invades even more territory as it proceeds to depression. >Ultimately, we end in defeat. How do we prevent the penetration of this deadly wedge into our spirits? We find the answer in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “Give thanks in all circumstances.” ~ The prophet Habakkuk learned this same lesson. After God revealed to him that Babylon would conquer and destroy his country, Habakkuk came to the conclusion that no matter what his circumstances were, He would find his joy in God. His words could, and should, be ours. Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD. I will be joyful in God my Savior (Hab. 3:17-18) ++Though my voice does not bud, and circumstances prove to be unfruitful, still- I know God and He knows me. My journey isn’t about who I can be infront of people but who I can be infront of my God, Yahweh.