hizzashii

[hizzashii]

and dōma were correct: he had noticed it, nearly immediately. like a frozen lake, where everything fell utterly still within it. it had been shocking to him initially, a degree of dissociation he had never seen before--but kokushibō adored him, and so ningyō said nothing.

especially when, "i did...but i also noticed your adoration for her. we share the same sight now, and i could see how you love her. i could accept the treatment of me, because i know you do and i--"

words fail him then, unsure how to continue, how to word his thoughts. in old nervous habit, he begins to fidget with the hem of his sleeve.

"--i know you love her, and i know i failed her. no amount of regret will ease how i left her alone, and didn't notice nor protect her." and there it is: he knew all along, but accepted the harsh treatment out of his own guilt, turning it into a way to answer for his past mistakes.

he's still toying with that sleeve, gaze drifting from the large demon as words turn shy. "...i don't expect you to treat me kindly, but i would--prefer, getting along."

“i do have my reasons,” dōma agrees quickly, giving a light nod, “however, that doesn’t erase the fact that i… should consider some people’s feelings, hm?”

a long talon traces shapes in the fallen foliage on the ground, before he scoops up a handful of leaves and crushes them in his hand, “it’s sometimes hard for me to do that, admittedly. but i guess if we’re to get along, i need to let you in a little bit.”

and then, emotion seems to leave his features.

“i’m sure you’ve already noticed it, anyway — i know koku-chan did,” voice flat and lifeless, “feeling emotion is hard for me; most days i feel nothing at all. sometimes the only way to get anything out of me is for pain to be involved — be it myself, or others experiencing that pain.”

“it formed an ugly habit in me, which i then took out on you — it paired with my distaste for koku-chan’s past, and it made me feel like i was taking revenge for her. it was a freeing feeling; one that i wanted to feel, as if it was giving her relief.”

“but it’s not doing that anymore, thus i'm prepared to stop.”

[hizzashii]

while ningyō is forced to retreat due to the coming dawn, if push had come to shove...he definitely can also conquer the sun just as tanjiro had. the matter at hand is simply that he isn't aware he can, and it isn't something he wants to test because what if he can't?

and he can't bring himself to risk akaza losing him

[hizzashii]

i added this to his carrd but!! some quick info re: post-infinity fortress verse:

ningyō's role was initially in battling muzan, aiding the slayers in weakening him to finally defeat him. however, upon the destruction of the infinity castle and the dawn approaching, as a demon he's forced to retreat--

and he does so additionally to cover the retreat of the surviving upper moons, ensuring none (and especially muzan) can pursue them as the three return to dōma's temple, especially as he can sense his twin's distress despite not yet knowing the cause.

in the end, he fulfills his own duty in passing on every bit of knowledge and strength he can to ensure his descendant can finish what he had started.

[hizzashii]

upon hearing the question, ningyō chuckles softly--it were so endearing. it had been half a millennium since someone wanted to know of him so. it were almost...exciting. he thinks he feels excitement. "no trouble at all. if i...write everything, not all of the stories may be to your liking, though."

he had seen it too many times: the pained look akaza would give him when the hardships of his life became too obvious. ningyō always wanted to protect akaza, to spare him worry or ache, but...he feels akaza is owed this, too. for both of the twins that love him so.

that fledgling smile softly fades as his mind shifts to his sibling, listening to the old demon speaking--and nodding minutely. agreement.

"aneue...what we suffered is different, but there are times i feel i received more gentleness than she," his suffering were no less, but only one tended to be physical. "when we were children, she shielded me. in my memories from our childhood, she were always bruised and often bleeding. there were nearly a decade we were separated, but...i could tell back then, something had changed within her. i didn't realize it, how close she were to breaking, until it were too late--like whatever kept her tethered to herself snapped under the force."

he recognized it, too--the way kokushibō were so distant from herself, from the world. "--but i realized too late, and if i had reached out to her sooner, perhaps she wouldn't have fallen. that has been my greatest regret," pink eyes shift, finding akaza's with a pleading look. "i always thought she were okay, or that i shouldn't agitate her by questioning--i only ask you not make the mistakes i did. i will tell you all i know, but there were many years she were lost to me, and i know not what father or that man have done to her. she loves you: i'm certain she will talk to you, if you ask it of her."

“would it be too much trouble to ask you to write all of them down?” perhaps he latched to the other’s memories to make up for his lack of own things to recall. however, there was additionally a desire to know everything about ningyō — a desire he held for both twins, but was always too shy of requesting either one to talk.

for he knew kokushibō was troubled. she had a far-off look in her eye that was undeniably separated from everything surrounding her. it was like she was a ghost, always watching, but never able to interact with the world in the same way he could.

“...i’d like that,” he then continues, “i – i want to know more about her, too.”

it was embarrassing to admit, “every time i’ve wanted to ask her about anything, i become afraid of what it might do to her.”

[hizzashii]

in truth, the snips and grumbles didn't upset nor bother ningyō--indeed, he hardly registered them. he were too focused upon the way akaza could nearly bowl him over with how persistently he's nuzzling and rubbing against him, soon bowing his head down to return the affection by nuzzling into those pink curls himself.

softly, adoringly, a purr begins to rumble to echo and return akaza's own.

"--why don't we return to our room? i'll carry you." it may have originally been what kokushibō had designated as ningyō's own space, but to him it went without question that it would be shared with his fiancé.

“not strongly enough,” a grunt and a grumble from the other demon, “everyone needs to know you’re mine. i need the scent to be overwhelming.”

however, his little snips back seem to be immediately soothed as he’s pulled close. an obnoxiously loud purr sounds — then grinding cheek against the other’s chest, dragging head all the way up until pink strands tickle under ningyō’s chin.

“...mmh.”

[hizzashii]

which rare human emotion are you?

Amae

The urge to crumple into the arms of a loved one to be coddled and comforted. Life has not been kind to you recently, and the burdens you hold are becoming too heavy to bear on your own. There is no shame in wanting the comfort of a loved one, it is what you deserve. You have struggled for a long time on your own, fearing asking for help or seeming weak, believing you have to grow up and make it on your own. Those who love you will never consider you weak for needing them, and to deny yourself this comfort is a terrible thing. Take a breath, forgive yourself, and allow another to hold you up for a while.

[hizzashii]

a brow raises as he watches his fiancé's behavior, before head tilts curiously. subtly, his released hand is moved to ningyō's hakama to wipe the remaining saliva off of his skin.

"don't i always?" yet the question is asked with a note of amusement, arms then winding around the smaller demon to hold him close. despite the unusual behavior, ningyō shows no less adoration--eyes softening as the ghost of a smile graces his lips.

"you should stay like this; i like holding you."

and at the confession of adorableness, akaza’s chewing gradually comes to a stop — pulling back, a looooong string of saliva connecting between his hand and the upper moon’s lips,

a slurp of his spit back into his mouth, tongue then running over enlarged, crooked teeth.

“...thanks,” then buries his head into his side, grinding cheek to his clothes, “you should smell like me.”

[hizzashii]

hakuji seeming to relax despite the awkwardness shared between them helps to soothe yoriichi somewhat as well--he can't have messed up too badly if hakuji seems...calmer. relatively more comfortable.

as hakuji searches and fails to find something to hide behind and droops so sharply, yoriichi doesn't think when he offers the flowers he's holding for hakuji to take instead. in the back of his mind, the impulsive thought enters: he wants to give flowers to hakuji himself, properly. not merely fulfilling his request for flowers to give away, but ones for him.

maybe that would be a bit too much towards someone he only just met.

yoriichi lets his attention shift to hakuji displaying fangs, blinking in surprise and yet seeming more fascinated than concerned. "--oh! my sister has something similar, too. this is the first time i've seen it, besides her."

and usually tense shoulders seem to lower — to relax — upon the other’s confession of awkwardness. hakuji was painfully awkward too, to the point that his lack of proper navigation around others usually resulted in a fist to the jaw. a blink of baby blue lashes as the other gives a compliment,

and he too, grows shy. however, unlike yoriichi, hakuji had nothing to hide behind — frantically searching from left-to-right, he eventually gives up looking for a shield with an overexaggurated droop of his body.

“th–thanks,” awkward, awkward, awkward, “it’s not makeup, just so you’re aware. for whatever reason, i was born with them like this.”

and then, he continues with a slight pull back of his maw — displaying long fangs rested in his gums, “these too.”

[hizzashii]

even as ningyō realizes his boldness, he couldn't flush any darker--cheeks already dusted in pink as emotions and adoration laid bare between them. he sinks into the kiss shared, the rest of the world still forgotten in this tender moment between two loves.

so easily does he lean into akaza's hold despite their difference in size, lowering himself down as breath mingled and arms wrapped around akaza's slim waist.

"always, and forever."

agreement without hesitance as lips are captured in the kiss, pink eyes fluttering closed as ningyō's body sinks into akaza's--as soon enough, the smaller demon is hoisted into ningyō's arms to fully erase the difference in their heights, so easily holding him within his arms and only adjusting his hold to ensure akaza wouldn't fall.

by the time they finally part, ningyō is flushed and panting softly, not yet pulling away in want to stay close to his fiancé.

and the sudden moment of passion — of acting without thinking — was not lost on him. a moment of being loved so adoringly, akaza’s soul seems to reach out for ningyō’s own. a gentle song being played from the core of his spirit, longing for the other’s to join in a sweet and serene melody.

and likewise, a moment shared with akaza that was not drenched in fear. while the possibility of ningyō disappearing one day did exist in his mind, during this moment shared together, he was just glad he was here, right here and now.

as their kiss comes to an end and the doll demon speaks his love, akaza looks up to him, cheeks red and smile remaining on his lips, “i love you, too,” stands to his toes, “i’ll always love you, yoriichi.”

and it was with that, he drapes arms around the other’s neck — pulling him into another kiss, just as passionate, albeit a little heavier; a silent claim that the other would stay as his,

forever and ever.

[hizzashii]

chews on his hand. chews on his arm. doesn't bite fully down but seems to be gnawing on him. 🌕 @hakuuji

it were surprise at first, but ningyō doesn't move away or, indeed, put more effort than watching akaza curiously at first--he trusted the demon wouldn't harm him, trusted he wouldn't break skin nor draw blood.

after a few moments, ningyō's free hand moves to begin carding through akaza's hair, all but petting his hair as those teeth continue to gnaw on the other hand.

"--you're adorable."

[hizzashii]

he's so quick to reassure, to soothe, that ningyō finally moves from his spot, the doll finally taking motion of his own to turn upon his seat and finally look up to akaza, hands reaching out to pull the other close.

keeping him close, keeping him safe. he dots small kisses along akaza's cheek, gentle touches in effort to soothe...and, just maybe, to make that blush darker.

"i know you won't--i know you won't forget," ningyō knows that akaza loves him. "...then i'll do it. you could help me pick which memories to write down, too." even if akaza doesn't remember his own, ningyō still wished to include him.

after a couple moments of thought, ningyō seems to grow curious. "...i could include memories of aniue, in the times i knew her. would you like that?"

--distracting him, just a bit, in want to further soothe.

new memories? it was something that akaza had never considered — always looking back to a place that remained a void in his mind, never taking the time to look forward (lest he be in the midst of a battle). 

while the statement was innocent in nature, that wasn’t anything offensive to the old demon. if anything, it caused surprise to blossom onto his features, never having paid attention to something so obvious.

“i’ll always remember you,” spoken without thought, “i’ve forgotten so much — but the memories we'll create together… i won’t forget them.”

and taken aback by his own words, a flush of his own seems to mirror ningyō’s. golden eyes looking off to the side, as he gradually picks up any pieces threatening to crumble, “...and i would. i would like that.”

“even if the writing is sloppy, it’ll still be something,” he continues, “it’ll still be precious.”

[hizzashii]

soft reminder to newer followers that yorii/ningyō is very canon-divergent! pls make sure to read his info when following to be certain you're down for that ;w;

[hizzashii]

lips press together in thin line as dōma beckons him closer, a certain anxiety still clinging to him--perhaps he remembered the ice biting his skin a little too well. it would be easy to escape via force, but ningyō didn't wish to run the risk of harming dōma either.

he knows the larger demon would likely be fine, but the principal of the matter remained.

besides, it were so difficult for ningyō to argue when he could easily guess the cause behind dōma's cruelty: their first meeting had been dōma protecting kokushibō, keeping him away from reaching her, away from the temple.

in endless irony, he felt as if he were on thin ice when it came to dōma now that he has reached her.

"--i don't mind it," a small, little white lie, "i know you have your reasons."

and the terror was something he was used to — be it his latest meal, or someone in the temple making him out to be untouchable; it didn’t matter that ningyō was likely the stronger of the two, he was afraid of him.

“come on out,” spoken with a sigh and a hand gesture, “we can sit under the foliage, as opposed to inside of them.”

dōma crawls out, and perches under the leaves, waiting for the other to join him.

“she’s okay,” he continues on, “but she’s been — concerned, about how i’ve been treating you. especially concerning how protective akaza is of you.”

he looks over to him, iridescent hues illuminating the dark in a beautiful way, “do i make you uncomfortable, yorii-kun?”

[hizzashii]

and he couldn't help it--dōma were like a force of nature to the poor doll, and upon realizing the other were searching for him, he had instinctively opted to hide himself away within the gardens instead.

it were just...difficult. he couldn't properly bring himself to fault dōma for his cruelty, yet that didn't mean ningyō enjoyed it: a constant tug of war between the guilt that festered within him and the ache as persistent as a bruise.

ningyō nearly jumps when dōma suddenly kneels before him, a great shadow looming over.

it didn't help, that he had a marked tendency of taking every word and action to heart, far too literal.

"i--" instinctively, he scoots back against the bush, suddenly feeling so small in comparison. he didn't wish to fight with his brother-in-law: he could already imagine his sister's displeasure. "is she alright?"

@hizzashii / closed starter.

“yorii-kun, yorii-kun… come on out, yorii-kun.~”

and perhaps dōma didn’t mean to be so intimidating, especially after his conversation with kokushibō — but the playfulness to his tone seems to only exist as a reminder of his tormenting nature.

“yorii-kun, yorii-kun,” a peak behind a bush, “there you are, yorii-kun~!”

the large demon then kneels down, a glimmer to his eyes, “i think it’s time we talked about koku-chan.”

[hizzashii]

there were something novel in it to him as well--ningyō has seen fireworks over the years, but he never truly stopped to appreciate them. there were always so much to do, and so much to be done, and so he simply kept moving: the night were never restful for him, even in his too-many days as a human.

there were so many things he denied himself, until akaza gathered his battered soul in his hands and protected him rather than breaking him further.

he's always protected and kept him safe. perhaps it were due to kokushibō initially, merely showing tolerance to his lost love's sibling, but--

now, now it is for the two of them and the two of them alone.

the fireworks are beautiful, but akaza drowns them all out: he shined so much brighter, held so much more life, ningyō found himself enamored all over again.

akaza hardly has time to realize his outburst and blush for it before the taller demon has pressed a kiss to his lips, a rare moment of ningyō acting before thinking, of giving himself to his emotions. i love you, i love you, i love you!

a doll trapped within a glass case, cast aside and forgotten, finally given a chance to move upon his own desires. "--i love you, i love you so."

and oh, that smile. the smile that belonged to his love, his fiancé — his dear yoriichi. the smile is earth shattering, and yet so comforting and gentle at the same time. akaza feels his heart skip a beat upon seeing the joy resting to ningyō’s face,

he did that. he made him happy.

and that was a wonderful thing to know. upon realising that truth, eyes grow glazed for a moment, but he quickly blinks them away — scooping up the other’s hands and running together to the neighbouring town. 

and by the end of the eve, akaza and ningyō sit atop the tallest hill — upper three looks up at the sky expectantly, such a familiar feeling nipping at the back of his skull. a joyous smile has yet to leave him, utterly thrilled to wait for the fireworks to come.

and then, the first burst of colour reaches across the sky. then another, then another,

“there they are–!!” he immediately rushes to stand, still holding to ningyō’s hand during — as his free hand reaches up to the sky, “i love them–!! i love them!” and then, realising his outbursts, a flush rushes over his cheeks.

“and i love you,” he says with heart still racing, looking over to his fiancé, “i love you.”

[hizzashii]

how come?

such an innocent question, yet yoriichi ducks his head in shyness, all but hiding behind the flowers he held. it seemed he were unaccustomed to compliments, especially ones so bluntly given.

ruby eyes finally return their gaze to hakuji, beginning to fiddle with the stems in his hands.

"--i'm. not good with people. i'm usually too awkward."

indeed, it seemed as soon as they were no longer on an expected path--someone buying flowers and him merely selling them, a bumbling sort of shyness erupted within yoriichi, unsure of himself.

still--

"your eyes are beautiful too, though. i like your lashes."

perhaps, in this moment, they could fumble together--yoriichi finds himself embarrassed over the thought, for fear he'll merely stumble into frightening the other off.

“was she?” judging from the small amount of time he’d shared with her, she already looked grumpy. imagining her as any more unhappy than she already was seemed nearly impossible — but regardless, he takes yoriichi’s word for it, “that’s crazy.”

and then, he picks up on the flush dusting along the other’s cheeks. why was he blushing out of nowhere? had he said something wro—

—ah. that’s it. phrasing once again wasn’t his strong-suit.

mirroring the other, hakuji’s own expression turns bright red. where does he go from here? does he die on this hill?

“r–really??” he asks, voice coming out as a croaky squeak, “howcome?”

“you’re so beautiful — i would have thought you were married, too.”

[hizzashii]

as he hears those words, ningyō tilts his head back as much as he is able with the horns upon his head, attempting to catch sight of akaza's face--in the hopes that doing so will prompt him to listen, to heed the sun-kissed demon's words:

"it's okay, that you don't recall; we can make new memories together."

and perhaps there was something so foolishly innocent in that statement, but nothing could mar its sincerity: he wanted to make memories with akaza. ningyō wanted to show him just how loved, have valued, how precious akaza is.

though it is his turn to flush softly next, finally straightening up once more, "i'm not good at writing, but if you would like that--"

if it were something akaza would enjoy, then he would make the effort still.

and there was a nagging pain in the back of his head at the mention of passing down. why did it remind him of something so nostalgic? where akaza then reached and grabbed for a memory, nothing seemed to appear within his hands; only a distant feeling remained.

“i’m glad you remember her,” the pain still rings in his head, but he uses the hand rubbing circles in ningyō’s back to ground himself, “i wish — i had memories to bond with you over.”

he hoped it wasn’t disappointing to the other that he wasn’t able to converse surrounding memories. he wanted to, of course — but all he could remember was... nothing.

“but the good moments in your own memories are soothing to listen to,” a small smile, “you should write them down, so we can both read them.”